Yea, I am backing myself into a corner and I'm going to have to make a decision. The sad part is that it's going to reverberate for a while given my current work structure will most likely be in place for a while. Here's the situation, I'm kind of seeing/talking to someone that I work very closely with on a daily basis. It's something that kind of fell into my lap as I didn't put any effort into hitting on her, it just came. If one thing comes out of this it's that at least I can say that I do possess some level of attractiveness that can lure someone in without putting on the whole charming front that guys in most cases must do to "hit on" someone.

So here I am with this person and in my best interest I've basically handled this with kid gloves, since I don't want this to become a grease fire & shitting in my nest is something that is not on my list of things to experience in life.

So here's my problem: She's pretty attractive and very moral in the sense that she's a church girl and even does music for various Catholic Churches. But as I've eluded to in I'm not used to the role of being the dominate male especially with someone who is more vanilla than I've experienced since I got my relationship psyche cleaned out by a couple of crazy love interests from my past.

Just like the Angel on one shoulder and the Devil on the other duking it out I have this dilemma on my hands. I think my mind has been tainted in the "Tainted Love" sense by the alternagoth queens that I've always ended up with in the past that produced great longing and sex. Then again I've always have been battling this dark feeling of helplessness every time I come across some obstacle that most people can just get over but to me and my perception always seems monolithic. Nothing will scare a normal chick away like that kind weak, helpless whining. I've always felt this way, but luckily it only comes cyclically. Or at least less frequently due to me playing a big game of avoiding making large decisions in life to snuff out an possibility of me mourning a shitty decision and taking a trip down a spiral for weeks or a couple months at a time due to that one thing.

So anyway I have this chick that's into me and is pretty nice and wholesome. The last thing I want to do is fuck with her head as I have with so many people [Although for most of those participants, it was mutual] But at the same time the inner Catholic altar boy wants a nice wholesome no psycho wife that will be all quaint and "normal" whatever that means anymore or in actuality some concept of "normal" from the unobtainable permanently lost past.

There's just a battle in me that has been going on for years. The "normal" person that can hang with frat boys versus the dark existentialist that loves indie films and depressed artistic sex fiends with multicolored yarn hair that listen to stuff that makes NIN sound mild. The excuse of blaming my high school just isn't cutting it anymore. Do I have to make a decision or marry someone that will force me to live a secret double life?

Yea, I have issues I know...

Although my one other friend that has the same taste in beer has told me that Michelob was changing their signature bottle I finally came across where was coming

Bottle design

Bottled Michelob was originally sold in a uniquely-shaped bottle named the teardrop bottle because it resembled a water droplet. The teardrop bottle was awarded a medal from the Institute of Design in 1962. Five years later the bottle was redesigned for efficiency in the production line, and later it was abandoned for a standard bottle.

In January 2007 Anheuser-Busch re-introduced Michelob in a similar bottle.

In October 2008, it was decided that the teardrop bottle would be retired and the standard Michelob Craft Bottle would replace any Michelob product currently being sold in the teardrop bottle.

I would hate to see it go. Yea, you can't drink Michelob all the time since it is on par with drinking whole milk all the time, but it is the one things that makes it stand out more than the beer itself. Especially since I'm old enough to remember the Frank Sinatra commercials selling the stuff.

For it to just have it fall back into the pack of the other supposed "craft beers" that the have thrown under the Michelob flag would be a mistake. I love the teardrop bottle & I'm going to be sad to see it go.

I had some really crazy rant that I posted as a draft last night. It basically came down to me being kind of paranoid to post it. So here instead is a bit of humor that I came across:

News from the Business World
1. The US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the building standing.. Its called the stock market.

2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wal-Mart Street.

3. The difference between a pigeon and an investment banker.The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW.

4. What's the difference between a guy who lost everything in Las Vegas and an investment banker? A tie!

5. The problem with investment bank balance sheet is that on the left side nothing's right and on the right side nothing's left.

6. I want to warn people from Nigeria. if you get any emails from
Washington asking for money, it's a scam. Don't fall for it..

7. What worries me most about the credit crunch, is that if one of my checks is returned stamped 'insufficient funds'. I won't know whether
that refers to mine or the bank's...


New Stock Market Terms

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investment banker to
mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock..

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who should be now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use

I've gave up facebook for lent. For some reason I just had to hop on the band wagon. The weird part is that I did give up something last year and in the long run it did improve my life to a certain extent for the positive.

I think that in some respect facebook has gotten a bit too big for me right now. It started when I clicked on some dude I went to high school that was part of the "people you may know" tool. For curiosity sake I just browsed his friends & then saw the brother of an ex girlfriend that really F'd me up in the head. It just came to the point of my mind said to me: "FOR GOD SAKES DON'T DO IT; DON'T CLICK THERE; NO GOOD WILL EVER COME OUT OF IT, ONLY PAIN!!!" A part of me has to say this is part of me squashing the curiosity temptation, although I'm not in any danger of doing so.

Yea, it looks like we're going to go below Dow 7000.

But the market is going to come back, Just as the suckers that are still waiting for NASDAQ 5000 back in March of '00 We're soon to be @ NASDAQ 1000 in a month or two.

Just keep on shorting stocks as right now as tha'ts the only way to make money. When that 12 year support was broken around 7600 from when Bill Clinton was still in office it just opened the floodgates breaking the levy. So all those gains for the last 12 + years are now toast.

Now I ask how many kids are going to be helping out their parents until they die, instead of collecting a nice inheritance & blowing it on a Corvette & Harley with a vacation home somewhere warm to go along with it?

I'm just not too exciting these days. The highlight of my weekend was going over to Canada & hanging out with a guy I worked with 10 years ago. I meet him at the OTB and just passed the time betting horses. The highlights of the evening was when these 2 guys hit really big. The first one was a friend of my former co-worker & he hit for about $700 or so on a trifecta 1st, 2nd and 3rd. Then one Asian guy came looking like he just got out of a restaurant job by the way he was looking, bet what looked like $100 on some race from Penn National & hit $3700 dollars on a "superfecta" ticket meaning that he had in exact order 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th. Given that Penn National is a cheap racetrack in the sense that the horses are pretty much almost glue factory stock anything can happen. Needless to say he bought the whole place a round of beer.

The other big deal was the Variety Club or as they call it The Variety Kids Telethon on Ch 7. Is it me or could Buffalo be one of the last places to conduct such things? I mean having 24 hours of programing with people singing and doing other crazy acts for pledge money must have been mind blowing in the 50's and 60's but I can't think of another city that I have been in where they still do that kind of thing. Plus it isn't really the same without Irv or some other kick ass old school personality.

I remember watching some OK indie film by Atom Egoyan which has a telethon as one of it's key plot points which made me smile. But yea, Where are you Jerry Lewis? I guess in a way we still have them when Ch 17 begs for money but they're just really selling you some Ken Burns DVD set & a tote bag.

Actually this may beat out Cramer's "THEY KNOW NOTHING..." Rant



Part Two later on in the day, a bit more toned down and more debate from the other side.

I flew out of Buffalo on the day of that doomed flight. It was kind of strange in retrospect as something was odd but I couldn't put my finger on it.

I was checking the Buffalo News website around 10 but it originally sounded like a Cessna plane crash. Then somehow I flipped through cable news and it was kind of messed up watching the news last night regarding the whole thing. What got me was CNN was using mostly Ch2's stuff with that skype camera & some of Ch 4 stuff, so watching it from Florida was kind of weird. Since to me hearing Scott Levin & Kevin O'Connell was too familiar.

What a great interview from Chris Kausner, he hit the moment perfectly. There is nothing more terrifying and horrific than hearing the scream of a mother who just has been informed that her child is dead.

So yea looking back as I flew out of the airport the same day it just seemed like walking past some strange dude & later realizing that he was some basketball star or something else that you didn't realize at the time.

On another note coming back today was also kind of weird. As I was sitting in the Sarasota airport I saw the "26 seconds of terror" video on CNN, not a good was to start a days long journey on a plane. Then flying in to Buffalo, I sat next to some nice rich attractive older blond haired blue eyed woman from Clarence & talked about it briefly. The funny part was that we didn't fly near Clarence as usually it seems to be the normal flight pattern. We actually ended up flying over Niagara Falls/Tonawanda as I could make out Grand Island and the Seneca Niagara Casino. Now I've flown into BUF many times and never remember flying into the airport this way, once I remember flying out this way going west but not coming in this way. When you think about it you don't want to look out and see a crater with an airplane tail sticking out as you approach the runway, as it was still daylight when we landed. The woman next to us was asking about the body of water we flew next to which was Lake Erie, right before she just put her hands over her face as we began our final descent.

Yea it was kind of freaky flying in today, but the way I look at it, the number isn't going to come up again for a while. Buffalo went 50+ years without a crash, the number was due. Plus if you take a look at all the flights that have been added since we have become a secondary market airport to Toronto, we only increased out odds over the last 10+ years or so. Heck on the ride back on the long term shuttle bus, I was the only US residence besides the driver, everyone else was Canadian.

Because I'm taking off tomorrow & don't know if I'll have access to a computer I'll make my usual Greg Dulli V-Day post with one of his videos.

I'm not Jaded this V-day. I'm actually feeling the universe throwing me a vibe or two. It's not a dropping roller coaster feeling, but at the same time logically I kind of know that my window for something like that has long passed.

Anyway to the point. I was hanging @ Mothers Saturday night when i was kid of thrown in to the drama of two older women. The one with kind of sexting with some FWB type of thing in which she was lamenting that he "didn't try hard enough to get her into bed that night." There were other vulgar pleasantries eavesdropped on but it was sure enlightening in the sense that I realized that a good chunk of this town is in some kind of FWB situation, I know for myself I've been in more of those kind of situations more than a real committed passionate relationship.

So the next time you get a text @ 3:15 think of thing song

Yea, I can't wait to take off to FLA this week. Not a big deal on the surface since I was there less than 7 weeks ago. It's just that this time I'm heading down there when two events are going on, V-Day on Saturday & the Daytona 500 on Sunday. Plus you have all the Sunshine that should be much warmer this time around.

The weird part is that a part of me as I did mention earlier in some post about "getting out of Dodge" for that weekend. Well I'm glad that I didn't...

Yea, if I knew what was good for me I'd turn off my computer for the next 20 days

Really that was just generated by i initially making contact with someone on some stupid dating site & realizing that it is the sister of my ex's ex-boyfriend, if you can follow that logic.

So in a strange set of circumstances I have ended up making a kind of date with someone down there in FLA off another site I use. She's pretty cool and intelligent but in reality she wants someone to go to the 500 with and as an added bonus she's not into V-Day at all. So working out the logistics should be fun, but with the timing falling into place with me being there at the right time and coming back it should not be too difficult. How could I turn down an opportunity to check out the "Superbowl" of stock car racing?

So I'm grateful for having the time and resources to do this as well as the dumb luck for reading someone's blog that is a "friend" of mine. Other than that I should have some fun in the SRQ as usual, now the 2.5 day wait...