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Category: dating

02/16/14 06:22 - ID#58696

Stuck

So I realized how alone I am over the last few weeks & it just struck me suddenly. I'm getting old let's say pushing upper 30's and my potential pool of possible women out there are next to nil. I could have written this book Basically the market for my demographic is very thing & I have known that for more than a decade. I should have moved to DC or Toronto years ago basically is the captain obvious answer to my own problem.

Although at this point of my life, I am not too depressed about it. I've gone through enough horrible experiences in dealing with people who are desperate. It's just lately I have also been smacked in the face with the fact that class has a more of an impact now that it ever has in my lifetime. Now that I drive a Benz, the impact of how people perceive me is finally smacking me in the face. I guess I have been the most low key now old "rich kid." I guess if I was 15 years younger & likewise my parents I would have grown up to be a douche. But I probably have the lowest self opinion of any luxury car driver? LOL

Anyway I think I should start blogging again. My cousin took a month off of Facebook & it seems to be going well for her. I do like the way that people are posting videos on Facebook & this 24 hour challenge thing is kind of funny. Although to be honest people were doing the same thing here in '06. For me I am just torn & confused on where to go and what to do. Not just for what to do with my lonely self in real life but also online.

Other than that I contemplating blowing money on match.com or even the other site howaboutwe.com. I like the concept of howaboutwe but to be honest there isn't enough people in Western New York to justify it being the most expensive dating site. Sometimes blowing money is far worse than getting rejected digitally over and over again.
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Category: dating

05/29/09 05:12 - ID#48787

Came to this conlcusion a long time ago

It's scary the shit that you can come across on CL. I realized a long time ago that chasing after the "Hot" girls in this area only leads to trouble. What he does say is so true, as there are so many cloistered women in Lewiston that just never venture out anywhere.




There are some hot girls in Buffalo, but anyone who has traveled knows that we are deprived and have more than our fair share of fatties. Attractive girls would be better represented day-to-day if SUNY-Buffalo wasn't so far removed from downtown. While the student body there isn't stellar and didn't even make PopCrunch's definitive list of hottest schools (http://www.popcrunch.com/hottest-student-bodies-top-50-universities-ranked-by-looks/), there have to be several thousand hot girls within a student body in the tens of thousands - it's just a matter of large numbers.

The issue I find is that there's an accessibility issue with the hotter girls here - they're normally from better families and don't go out on Chippewa. Sure, there's a certain type of girl that goes out on chippewa, normally over-tanned, over-dyed and so on, and I'm not disputing that those types are hot, but they're a very small percentage of the hot girls in Buffalo. Because they're the most visible, though, they get TONS of attention and have adamantium bitch-shields that require exquisite game to penetrate. And forget relationships; these girls are dumb as fuck, a direct consequence of a lifetime of using physical charms to entice lesser, desperate men to do their bidding, and only good for a fuck-and-chuck. But they are smart enough to realize the pattern of being pumped and dumped in their life, and they develop defenses against it, making it more difficult to seduce them. As for the other hot girls, they're difficult to find because nobody knows them - their families generally steered them away from the Buffalo colleges and sent them to better schools on the east coast. These girls then got sucked back into Buffalo like so many do, especially in this economy, and don't know anyone. As a result they're normally eating with their parents at the Buffalo Club, Saturn Club or any of the suburban country clubs, occasionally connecting with their old classmates for wine and bitch sessions about how they can't meet suitable men. Indeed, they can't meet suitable men, at least suitable for their families - is some noble electrician out at 67 West going to hold a whit against some girl who wants to talk with someone who similarly spent a year backpacking in eastern europe after college? Is she really going to be impressed with some 20-something paper jockey earning less than $30,000 with a degree from a college she wouldn't consider applying to? Absolutely not. So they band together, lamenting the men they can't find and complaining about the inadequate dating experiences with the people they do meet.

Meanwhile, there are eligible men in Buffalo, but they often make the mistake of going after the same visible hot girls as every other dude. In fact, they're hurting their own chances because they have vastly higher IQs than their targets and can't relate to them. It's saddening to see the number of educated people who chose to stay in Buffalo - accountants, industrial designers, lawyers, doctors - chasing after the stereotypical hot girl who they know will bore them and subsequently curse themselves for not getting her, only to settle for someone less attractive and only marginally more interesting. Ultimately, the marginally interesting and utterly unremarkable girl pressures the man to join the social clubs she thinks she should be a part of. After all, she "landed" a young professional - something she should be proud of, despite how little competition she had. And then, at dinners at the Saturn Club or other events, these men start seeing the women who were futilely hoping to meet them. By then, though, it's normally too late; both groups were pushing thirty and hastily settled into unpleasant marriages, leaving them with the decision to either cheat or divorce. A sexual dystopia results, and Buffalo perpetuates its reputation for being an awful place to date.
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Category: dating

11/18/07 10:56 - ID#42191

The bad, good and naughty



On to the post that I have had bottled up for a while. On Friday night I went out with my friend D* and early on it was a blast as I ran into an (e:strip)per @ SoHo and seeing them is always a pleasurable time.

Then after a while we moved to Diablo and that's when things got really bad. Out there I ran into another (e:strip)per and then things just blew up. Apparently I can't speak to this person. Yea there is some really F'd up shit between the two going back many years ago but all I was doing was attempting to get a bottled water @ the bar. The place happened to be crowded beyond belief and I was already waiting 15 minutes for a drink. What was I to do move to the other end and wait 30 minutes? All I can say is I am glad that we never got married as my life would be totally miserable. One day she will learn that only she can make herself happy. I can only go so far as a friend and that seems to be in short supply to her as it is triggering so many negative emotions in her life.

Saturday I hit up (e:carolinian) @ Grandma Mora's to celebrate his b-day. It became a nice "couple's" evening as I brought my Ex with me and it turned out wonderfully. One one level it made me feel mature to be hanging with a couple of couples, although my Ex and I are not together. It made me sad that the relationship just was not compatible on a few levels but in the end I do realize that honestly it is in out best interests that we are not together. There is the old saying of someone, "being in love with love." I just see the upside of being in a relationship with someone socially and professionally, even though the other working parts are not compatable. What is that called? A marriage of Convenience? Yes I do wish I had a wife that was the total package. For the last 2 serious relationships I had there was only 1/2 of the picture and I went from one end of the spectrum to the other. My was was "hot" but had a shitty personality and sucked in bed. My Ex GF is not as physically attractive as her but had a great personality and rocked in bed. Of course there were other intangibles that I won't get into but, yea...

Today I ended up stopping by a co-worker of a long time friend and his wife. She's pretty interesting in the sense that she's in related to very high level politicians in this country but only through marriage. Really we don't talk about much intellectually as she is in some ways a "Falls Chick" but at the same time she is pretty hot in other ways. Also in hanging with her is it kind of a favor to my friend as his wife as they are trying to get to that ideal "couples hanging out" situation as described above. They just don't have that as an option given where they live/work. So in their wisdom they set us up attempting to get us to that point. To be honest I'm just having fun and deep down all parties involved know that but I do see myself just having to push her away eventually. She's fun, but really there isn't the mental stimulation or at least I don't see it yet.


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Category: dating

10/26/07 01:01 - ID#41809

late night pickup

So with a long night @ the NU library working on my Accounting Theory homework a woman in the row of computers drops a bunch of papers. I turn around and pick them up not thinking much about it. Well as they are kicking us out of the place we start talking as we head out to our cars. After about 15 minutes of conversation in the cold we exchange numbers. She's working on her social work masters @ UB but comes back to NU since he did her under grad here and likes the cozy small campus.

So we're most likely going to see Saw 4 in the near future. I'm not sure if anything is going to come out of this but at least I got a nice ego boost. I just wonder if stuff like this that falls in my lap can be a possible negative since it skews my "game" in the sense that I'm not as extending/outgoing when I'm out hitting the scene?

She's quite cute to say the least :-)
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Category: dating

10/06/07 05:15 - ID#41522

99% of CL personal ads is Failure

Well a couple of days ago I took a page out of the DC Craigslist Personals playbook and posted an ad myself. It was basically m4w 31 with an extra ticket to Matthew Good at Club infiniti last night. What blew me away is that someone actually responded and was excited to go and open to me as a person.

So after a few emails and text messages I met her after work at Infinity and had a really enjoyable evening. She's pretty cool but to be honest I didn't feel "fireworks." At some other level I was pretty blown away that even through a anonymous system the prototype to the type of woman that I attract responded. Although the difference is that she is pretty quiet and reserved a role that I am usually filling. So to be the person in the relationship doing all the talking, decision making and such I'm not too sure I'm up for having the majority of that kind of responsibility.

But I cannot count this as a failure at all. I'm just using that title as a tribute to the song that is going through my head. Actually it work out as planned. I wanted to share the show with someone cool that appreciated his music. It worked out as hoped actually, but the show being sold out did help I would imagine.

Needless to say it was a great show. Matt Good is all that I would imagined to be in person. Plus it was cool to run into briefly (e:Pyrcedgrrl)

;-)

99% subject line courtesy of Matthew Good's album Hospital Music
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Category: dating

07/18/07 12:37 - ID#40150

this is way too easy...

On a dare of shorts I ended up taking my "Free $40 Personality profile" on eHarmony.com last week. It was mostly due to the stories of friends of mine that have taken this profile test and basically were told by the former evangelical Christian dating site
"Sorry, You're Hopeless there's no one on our system for you...in not so many words" Well I took it and at first I had a goose egg 0 matches. Then over the past week I've been flooded with email matches and requests for communication. I guess I am viable for marriage!!!! Whoot Whoot!!!!

On a related note my married friend Bill set me up with a friend of his wife and co-worker. This was after they initially tried to set me up with another co-worker that I met at a party on 4th of July weekend. The first one was the pick of his wife and the later was a pick of Bill. Well in a conversation he basically told me, that he had to think to how you like your women back in the day and L* was a better fit for me. Well we meet for a while tonight and took in the village of Lewiston after Tuesday at the Park let out. We stopped by the Brickyard and hung out there for a bit. Then the long walk to the car with the extended conversation.

It was pretty descent. There is a bit of chemistry and physical attraction there. The caveat is she's in the dying stages of a relationship with a guy that just plays video games all day. I already knew this from my friend, so when she asked this question I already knew what she was getting at. Heck, I don't own a gaming system and now that I own a mac the gaming selection is pretty limited.

But yea it was a good time and a great feeling. I am not sure on where this is going to go given our situations and such but it has potential.

I'm just happy that the universe is blessing me with some abundance these days.
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Category: dating

01/11/07 12:39 - ID#37638

Just thinking about relationships via CL

I was bored today @ work and I was basically trolling around the Buffalo CL and came across this What really hit home was

[box]4) Most people there, have been there, for a very, very long time, and yet, they are afraid of "commitments". When it comes to people on Match.com, the ones who are there for what seems like an eternity, there is reasoning you need to be aware of. First of all, there are far too many people on the site who simply do not have the TIME to devote to serious dating or serious relationships. They know this, and yet, they continue to troll around on Match, having the occasional interaction that usually leads no where. For them, this is the 'best' they can do as far as 'dating' goes. For them, it's not the same as being 'single', and, it's all an illusion they are very comfortable being a part of. Next we have the ones who are never happy with anyone. These people will talk to and make dates with several people at one time. They will keep a 'line up' of potential mates going at all times, so that they are forever 'upgrading' and keeping themselves in the 'life is too short to settle' scenario. Sadly, what happens with all these people, is none of their dates pan out, and they wind up being on the site longer than any other people. Some of them are probably eligible for free lifetime memberships.[/box]

Basically I was thinking that sometime soon I just should settle down and take a "full court press" in getting myself married, again. The last time I got into this mindset I found myself in a bit of trouble. Well actually it wasn't too bad until the skeletons started flying out of her ass.

Seriously, I'm starting to realize that I just don't want to be some single zombie walking through life messing with someone here and there when it is convient for me. There are two imprints that are fueling this round of me thinking to myself, "Maybe Eharmony is a good idea kind of logic." The first being that I am currently surrounded by 3 pregnant women at work, 19, 24 and 30 all of them on their 2 or 3rd kid. Then there is this 31 year old that has been after me ever since her "boyfriend" loose term there was fired about 7 months ago. Now she is a nice person but in terms of life made me realize that I'm really not all that inadequate. Yes, there are many things that am not even close to being on par with most societal norms and expectations, but I'm not pathetic. Although I did get a jabbing from my shift manager today about: being younger, married, making more money, owning 3 houses, having 2 kids, ect... Although I am pretty sure he was setting me up in getting me to buy his 2nd house on Grand Island.

The kicker today was when I stopped by the Orange Cat I overhead a conversation these two guys were having about relationships. The short of it was they were discussing if it was prudent for this guy to continue in a relationship with a woman 10 years older than him [she's 45, he's 35] if he wanted a shot at having kids. The older guys basically told the younger guy to just take the person at face value and ignore everything else. To me that's a tough one. Everyone has some kind of criteria and basic standards. Although it seems that every guy in every part of the country wants that skinny 20 year old, no matter what he looks like or is as a person, women have their own hangups in their own ways. The lifetime members to match.com are equally split down both genders, there is no right or wrong.

My own personal question is: What is in my head that has kept me single for a whiile now?
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Category: dating

11/13/06 11:10 - ID#37181

I didn't mean to bum everyone out

Yea, so after my post of prognosticating the likely hood of landing a Significant Other this season we get back to back bouts of heartbreak. That is a bit scary. There must have been some kind of tension in the air of the universe this weekend. BTW Sorry (e:Mrmike) for bringing you down. None of it was intended to depress anyone. I think I may have mixed up the intended blogs that I post in. Usually good vibrations end up here and the pain ends up in the other one.

I am actually had a pretty good day. SO much so you would have thought that I found a S.O. or something ;-)

Actually I have had my hours cut @ work and I haven't been happier!

Don't worry (e:mk) and (e:lilho) you won't be on the market for too long!




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Category: dating

10/18/06 09:09 - ID#37169

Yea, I have that effect sometimes

So I get this call this afternoon from M* telling me that I'm a "Jinx!" Why? Given that fact that she's from Kenmore I told her that I'm not a really big fan of that little village given it's a Gestapo Police State. She pretty much was always telling at me that "People that get tickets in Kenmore deserve them, and all of her 24 years living in the village she never got a ticket.

Well that changed today; A violation of going through one of those intersections without a working stoplight without treating it as a 4 way stop was what she got nailed for. She was all flustered worrying about the points on her licence. I told her that basically she's just going to burn some money and time, (paying for school, the reduced parking ticket, court costs) and burning a weekend afternoon.

I just don't know what to say. A former supervisor of mine said once, "Michael, you just have a way or bringing your women down and getting them into trouble!" There have been some instances where that statement is true, but I to say there's a correlation is a bit harsh. It could be that being around my freethinking/laid back vibe may relax their guard but I don't thinking I'm one of those evil men that make their women do something bad and laugh about it. Actually I'm pretty harmless. She was just absent minded and didn't realize that the traffic light was not functioning.

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Category: dating

09/25/06 06:18 - ID#37162

This is going to be an interesting test

I've been having pretty fun and enjoyable conversations with M* over the phone. We're probably going to do something soon, heck I've even kicked around the idea of bringing her to the party. We are on the same page when it comes to a good number of things. I really enjoy talking to someone that sees the world and enjoys the same activities as I do.

The one thing that seem to be worrying me is she likes to be the one being dominated. All of this came out of a really weird conversation regarding kinky fetishes and such. Really my experience and personality is one that pretty much laid back and not one that exerts control. This could get interesting and should be a good barometer on how much I can can tap into my traditional "male" role in certain situations...
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