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Last Visit 2018-12-15 14:47:37 |Start Date 2006-02-26 22:31:48 |Comments 618 |Entries 596 |Images 1,547 |Videos 113 |Mobl 2 |

Category: trauma

08/19/07 11:27 - 64ºF - ID#40630

sex & violence

I'm just off balance. This weekend really did it to me. First I hang out with my friend Peter's guest worker tenant from Belarus and while it was really cool to hang with a 22 year old chick that is a 9/10 at the same time it just screwed with my mind on a couple of levels. I did get to bond with the topic of emotional musical concepts but in the end there was just something that never came through. This was due in part to Pete telling me that she wanted me to be more "aggressive" but in essence that just isn't me. So when I was hanging with her at a local watering hole in Y-town to me it was just good enough shoot the stuff & soak in the perception that these local guys I know assumed/thought I'd hook up with her. It didn't happen for whatever reasons but after hearing his "inside info" from her other roommate friend I just was totally sick. Although it's just not me to be ultra mr feel upper. If I did that with women from this country usually one would be brought up on charges. It was just exhausted thinking about it all. Oh, yea and during this whole experience I was just pulling emotional experiences from my ex wife who was half Polish/Ukrainian straight out of the old country. YEA....

Now on to violence.

While having a really shitty afternoon @ Fort Erie Racetrack, I noticed all available security officers moving to the left of the building. So having a little bit of curiosity I head in that direction. When I arrived in the next room I saw an "old man" late 50's early 60's all bloody in his face pushing a pile two other people wrestling/fighting. From what I gathered the "old man" got into a fight with opponent B over cutting in line at a self betting machine. Old Man's son stepped in to help his dad. It was a freaking mess. The worse part of it was the son's wife was there holding their 5-7 year old kid, the "old man's" grandson yelling at her husband/boyfriend. I just could see the kid shaking, crying not knowing what is going on. It just made me sick. The last thing I remember hearing was the mother yelling at her guy, "He [our son] is more important right now while was still getting into it with the security guards.

To top off this wonderful experience I wait an hour and 20 minutes to cross the Peace Bridge. Also while waiting on the Q.E.W. some bad ass looking menacing type tried to cut in on me with the line backed up more than a mile. He did squeeze in as I just sat there not moving or waving him in at all. After giving me the finger, ironically he did pull out of the lane and snuck in further down the line by cutting through the Duty Free Store's entrance way to the bridge.

So on a day where they had a Chicago cover band play of which was a really good act I had my experienced ruined by this event. I just sent a check to re-up my old Xpressbet account. Screw all of this hassle, I'm just going to play online by phone watching the Horse Racing channel on the Dish. I just don't need to deal with all of that shit. If I save up enough money I plan to go out to California to spend some time playing out at the actual track if its Santa Anita or Del Mar. Fort Erie is going to die anyway with the border hassles and Buffalo Creek Casino. Although I figure I may be the last of the horse players I'm going to do it from the comfort of my home or through technology. I don't have to go and get a Daily Racing Form from the track.

I'm going to hide under my covers now :-0
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Permalink: sex_amp_violence.html
Words: 672
Location: Youngstown, NY

08/17/07 06:28 - 79ºF - ID#40598

a thursday @ the sq

It is nights like last night in which I miss (e:ladycroft) A kick ass show @ the square and basically just me and an old friend to soak it all in. It was show that just snuck up on you. It started out pretty shaky when the started out with "somebody to shove." You could just tell that his voice jus wasn't like it used to be but in the end by 9:10 I was totally sold and especially on the new stuff. The highlight was when Dave Pirner was being a dick in between songs. For some unknown reason they were playing "Pass The Courvoisier" and he put the mic into the speaker and made some smart ass comment. For once I actually was laughing with a rock star and his ego.

On another note it was just cool to experience those guys. Both my friend and I had fond memories of this band in which we were discussing on the way home. I just remember talking about them to Tabitha Soren back in the day when she came to town back when she worked for MTV. I think the conversation was pertaining to long haired/short haired bands. D* was just talking about when she first was getting into alternative music some guy gave her a mix tape with Jane's addiction on side and Soul Asylum on the other.

Something I noticed on the way home. That alleyway between Pearl and Main by the old Happy Garden restaurant that leads to the convention center/Hyatt. It used to be a congregating point for hot topic looking kids, but Buffalo Place had the place roped off and security chasing everyone away. I'm wondering if it is due to those $2,000+ a month lofts being right above it?

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Permalink: a_thursday_the_sq.html
Words: 296
Location: Youngstown, NY

08/14/07 06:08 - 77ºF - ID#40539

Always go with your Gut....

I was listening to the Bill Press show this morning driving into work, and he played this clip from 1994!!!!

This is just freaking Priceless, if he was a religious man instead of former Secretary of Defense at the time, I'd call him a Prophet!!!

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Permalink: Always_go_with_your_Gut_.html
Words: 45
Location: Youngstown, NY

08/13/07 11:34 - 69ºF - ID#40527

Karl Rove Leaving

It is kind of ironic on the day that he leaves i come across this [link=ttp://]study of disillusionment [/link]

or the regular link

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Permalink: Karl_Rove_Leaving.html
Words: 31
Location: Youngstown, NY

Category: celebrities

08/12/07 11:26 - 69ºF - ID#40504

Merv Griffin

So the great icon Merv Griffin passed away at 82. I think that it really is more than just the guy that gave us Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune passing, but another indicator of the loss of that "depression generation." There are just aren't enough of them around anymore to guide us when the next one, (and if you are in my camp, believing that at least a deep recession is imminent) or at least for some deep wisdom.

Obviously he had more rescources than the most average person of his generation [making the Forbes list a bunch of times] It's just that he seems to me to be typical of his generation, being conservative with his cash. My Ex's Grandfather passed away at age 78 and left her Mom a Ton of $. I guess that generation just had incredible fortune of being at the right time or just using practical lessons of growing up in very difficult economic times.

These days it's all about how much OPM (Other people's Money) you can borrow. It's all fine and good until what he are going through now with Wall St.
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Permalink: Merv_Griffin.html
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Location: Youngstown, NY

Category: movies

08/07/07 10:01 - 76ºF - ID#40431

What a difference a day makes

Yesterday I just plain crashed after getting home from work. I just slept from 6 until 11:30 sometime missing dinner and everything. What I did manage to do was catch the latest Atom Egoyan film "Where the Truth Lies" it isn't his best film but it did satisfy my Canadian film needs and my unrealized craving for a good cinematic "Mindfuck." I think it was on the Movie channel but I can't say for sure what channel it was on. Much to my surprise he did not cast Sara Polley in the film at all. Any more of him perverting Sara Stanley would just not be in Cananda's National Interest. Although Exotica is most likely my favorite Egoyan film.

What I enjoyed more than anything was the time setting of the late 50's and early 70's. I am not one of those people that wishes they were born in a certain time period, but if I had a time travel machine I would love to stop by and see all of the fun. In some ways I was lucky to go down to Miami as a kid and experience it when it was still Jewish and imagine how the old gangsters spent their time in those hotels decorated in the way that the Palms in Vegas tries to emulate. For that time period one of my favorite movies is the HBO movie Lansky when he is in Wolfies, a famous Jewish Deli/Restaurant telling his life story to some journalist.

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Permalink: What_a_difference_a_day_makes.html
Words: 248
Location: Youngstown, NY

Category: love & relationships

07/29/07 07:12 - 81ºF - ID#40301

Random Realizations

I've been single for a while. It generally does not bother me at all, although there are times that I do wish I was in some kind of relationship. So when my Ex asked me the other day to accompany her to the Galleria while she shopped for a suit for a upcoming interview I was glad to help. Moments, OK 8 hours of shopping was really a wholesome feeling. There is a part of me that wishes that I could be part of a married couple doing such things on a regular basis.

The strangest mental flash occured when we were in some cheesy store on the 2nd level. All of a sudden I just has a vivid flash memory of an Ex (Not the one I was shopping with) of mine from many years ago. It was pretty scary and out of no where. She was most likely the most passionate relationship I've ever had even now and I just saw her mentally in detail. All of this and no clue on what triggered it, except that possibly something happened with her and it was strong enough to radiate out into the collective subconscious. I just don't know, when things like that happen it just makes me thing that they died.

The other day I was reading LJ and saw that a "friend" of mine posted that she had a 1 night stand. Now we sort of have this "understanding" between us but at the same time it did take me a little aback. We're not dating and I do have my current "stalker" but it did sting a tiny bit. It's just so unreasonable to think that everyone that we are with stays celibate but at some level there is I suppose jealousy even though one does not have any stake or claim [or wants] to the individual. Funny how things like that happen and our reactions to it.

To top things off I did get a bit of Karmic role reversal. After the said Galleria Trip I did end up back at the Ex's apartment. I was going to take a nap before I went out. She had her own plans and headed out. Needless to say I fell asleep like a total loser and didn't do anything at all. So much to her surprise when she came back in this morning @ 6am and I was still asleep in her bed. Now she's the one playing out all night and I'm the dork staying in going to bed early on a weekend night. I just though that was a bit funny how that worked out.

Now I'm going to go and play the first Afghan Whigs CD I come across and roll myself up in a ball.... ;-) J/K
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Permalink: Random_Realizations.html
Words: 462
Location: Youngstown, NY

Category: dating

07/18/07 12:37 - 66ºF - ID#40150

this is way too easy...

On a dare of shorts I ended up taking my "Free $40 Personality profile" on last week. It was mostly due to the stories of friends of mine that have taken this profile test and basically were told by the former evangelical Christian dating site
"Sorry, You're Hopeless there's no one on our system for not so many words" Well I took it and at first I had a goose egg 0 matches. Then over the past week I've been flooded with email matches and requests for communication. I guess I am viable for marriage!!!! Whoot Whoot!!!!

On a related note my married friend Bill set me up with a friend of his wife and co-worker. This was after they initially tried to set me up with another co-worker that I met at a party on 4th of July weekend. The first one was the pick of his wife and the later was a pick of Bill. Well in a conversation he basically told me, that he had to think to how you like your women back in the day and L* was a better fit for me. Well we meet for a while tonight and took in the village of Lewiston after Tuesday at the Park let out. We stopped by the Brickyard and hung out there for a bit. Then the long walk to the car with the extended conversation.

It was pretty descent. There is a bit of chemistry and physical attraction there. The caveat is she's in the dying stages of a relationship with a guy that just plays video games all day. I already knew this from my friend, so when she asked this question I already knew what she was getting at. Heck, I don't own a gaming system and now that I own a mac the gaming selection is pretty limited.

But yea it was a good time and a great feeling. I am not sure on where this is going to go given our situations and such but it has potential.

I'm just happy that the universe is blessing me with some abundance these days.
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Permalink: this_is_way_too_easy_.html
Words: 355
Location: Youngstown, NY

07/11/07 04:41 - 74ºF - ID#40055

that was weird


It was pretty cool to catch you across the street of the tripped out Post-Vatican II church with a cup of Orange Cat Chai Tea in my hand.

There's nothing like playing a tourist in your own town ;-)
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Permalink: that_was_weird.html
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Location: Youngstown, NY

Category: food & drink

07/07/07 01:06 - 76ºF - ID#39989

old man beer

For a annual party that I have recently been invited to my friend Bill and I always like to show up with "old man beer" and try to screw with the minds of people that are 8 years or so younger than us. It is always fun since all they know about beer is Blue and Canadian and have no memories of anyone in their family drinking Genessee or anything comparable.

So we looked for something other than Pabst Blue Ribbon. We have brought the PBR in past years but that was actually because we actually enjoy drinking it and plus it's damn cheap. There is nothing like having communion with long deceased relateives.

This year we actually had some problems. The only true old man beer that is out of the ordinary was Schmidts that we found in the downtown Niagara Falls tops. In years past they had stocked Piels, Schlitz and Schaffer but this year the only thing they had was Schmidts and Genny.

On the really pulling something off we managed to find a case of Ballentine Ale at Consumers. The "pretzel" beer as some have refered to it. Hunter S. Thompson also had mentioned the beer in many of his books.

So Yea, I do have a soft spot for "old man beer." The one thing that I love over the past 5 years has been the explosion of PBR. My friend Bill and I have this fantasy that dudes our age all over the country manifested the love of the PBR to younger college kids at the time. They took on to it because of it's affordability, and then realized that "It doesn't taste all that bad!"

Now it's the offical beer of art gallery openings, hipsters and snowborders :-)

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Permalink: old_man_beer.html
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Location: Youngstown, NY



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