I was just surfing online last night trying to figure out possible dates next month for my Vegas trip when I came across the new Perry Ferrell. Then it got me thinking of how much Jane's Addiction ment to me back in the Day growing up. So I just poked around myspace and found various pages for janes', porno for pyros, perry himself and of course lolla! It was in that moment that I decided that I just have to go this year. I remember a few years back when I wanted to go when it first came back and then the tour was cancelled. So I checked at work and put in for Aug 3-5 to be off. All I have to do is save some cash for the flight and hotel and I'll be set.

It's just that with this I do have a bit of a apprehension of going out there alone. I image if I did book myself into the Hard Rock I would end up having a good time anyway but I just want someone to tag alone. As much as I love Vegas I do wish that there was someone that could come along for the ride. It's not that I don't have any takers but for the most part they are eirther broke or can't get the time off.

I think I am setting some sort of masochistic milestone in the abuse that I take at this job. First off I think I gave myself a mild concussion on Friday when I hit my head. I have banged it before so I didn't think much of it. Except I sure felt it later Friday night when I went to see Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I had a hat on and when I removed it I had a red/grey steak running down my forehead along with a little sore spot where i made contact. I'm feeling blah today and I have been icing my head for about 30 minutes a day, but still I'm a bit in the fog.

On top of that I am getting bitched at by this crazy Falls Chick who is the shift supervisor on Swing. I'm being a nice guy working on my day off an a shift that I don't work on usally so the female contigent of my department can attend a baby shower for one of our co-workers. Then I get the untimate degregation like I'm a freaking moron. Why do I take this shit? Eirther I'm completely laid back beyond beilef or just stupid.

I think I'm calling in sometime this week, I deserve it...

That's what I get when I post about Kurt Cobain shooting himself and leave it as my last post for a week...

Yea, Kurt Kobain killed himself today 13 Years, OK now yestday. Wel you what I mean.




With that in mind when my Dad asked me if I cared to join him in going to Canada this evening I said sure, but only it it's the "old casino" being Casino Niagara. Why I guess since I spent the good part of the 90s there and spent wway too much $ there back then. So I went and spent 6 hours on level 2 the "non-smoking floor" Now the entire place in NONsmoking. I just didn't feel any vibe at all in any way for what happened. Heck, the hand in which I regained my chips back and secured a small profit I was being a "crazy man" and singing "Smells like Teen Spirit" The kids at the table thought I was from another planet. THen again I did go all in for $100 with 2-4 and hit two pair on the flop against KK and some other hand 9-9? and adding insult to injury hitting a 2 on the river for a full house. Sorry for the Poker talk but I did what I didn't do back in the day, leave a bit ahead.

So what did I get from this? On a spooky 13 year anniversary no one really cared about KC shooting himself. Casino Niagara is a dump according to my Dad. It did feel good tp play some 1-2 No Limit without being intimidated by the Agressive Betting Kids from the GTA. The Shrimp Cocktail Lucky's Steakhouse where my Dad had a snack hit the last spot on my Easter Things to do/traditional must experience list. With all of the Double Smoked Polish Sausage, boiled aggs with red horseradish, rye bread, peirogi, Shrimp as totally missing out of the picture until the last minute.

It was just a day that reinforced many things. But heck I was more a Alice in Chains fan back then anyway. Lane offed himself on the same day years later.

Yea, its more interesting time now but back then in the day in the "Dark Ages" I do miss the intense dreary darkness about those days. It's like Henery Rollins pointed out, "as Henry Rollins pointed out...
"but that fat fuck, Jim Morrison, once said.. Hold on to your depression, because its some of the most righteous and intense moments you'll ever have.."

Although for all the weirdness and whackiness of my life right now I can't really say anything bad at all.

I just can't wait to end this holy week fast that I have been on for the last week. I just got a glimpse of the good stuff that my Ex bought me from the broadway market and I'm quite excited.

- THE ORIGINAL LIST -
1. You or someone in your family owns a Nissan Maxima with a PL sticker proudly displayed on the back windshield and/or a custom-made European license place in the front (most likely with your name written on it)
2. You have relatives who aren't really your relatives
3. You sing the same song - “100 lat” - on every occasion (weddings, birthdays, baby showers)
4. You watch soccer
5. You know very well Pope John Paul II was Polish and his name was Karol, not Carol
6. You go to Midnight Mass every Christmas Eve and keep your Christmas tree up till February.
7. You drink your wodka straight
8. You listen to techno
9. You don’t feel the need to add an “s” to Pierogi because you already know the word is plural and it annoys you when others do. However, you still add 'y' to already plural english words... "chipsy", "dzinsy"
10. You are convinced your pets only understand Polish
11. You are forced to listen to Disco Polo by your parents
12. You can spot Polish people like Asians can spot each other
13. When others find out you're Polish, they tell you about every Polish person they've ever known, which is most likely followed by them mispronouncing common phrases such as “czesc” or “dziekuje”
14. Your name always gets slaughtered on the first day of school
15. The thought of eating cow stomach (flaki) doesn’t gross you out
16. When you're at a stranger's house, you expect their garbage can to be under the sink
17. Every window in your house must have "firanki", even in the bathroom
18. Once in a while, you do a big "przemeblowanie" at home
19. You always take off your shoes as soon as you step into someone else's house (even if the owner of the house insists you don't have to)
20. You celebrate your birthday AND your nameday, "imieniny"
21. You were extremely surprised to learn that American weddings last hours, not days

So I heard this morning as I was just coming back from my first break, "Someone shot himself in the Casino!" I heard it from my co-worker who is a cocktail waitress about 10:30 or so. Then some other dealers attempted to head over to the new hotel section, and it was blocked off.

As more details came out I found out that I knew of the guy that did it. He is a pretty well off local business man. A very likable guy that everyone knows that works here because he is a "highroller." I was just pretty much numb today after hearing the news and remembering my dealings with this person. I have been working straight poker for the last 2.4 years or so and I haven't had to pay off any of his markers, but he still made a very strong impression.

The truth be told knowing the "dirt" the whole thing is a mess. Although he is a married man with small kids he was having an affair with a blackjack dealer in this place for the last 4 years. She left her husband for him and for probaly financial reasons he couldn't leave his wife. So after a while I imagine a woman can become impatient with being the "other woman."

I guess they were sitting out on a bench in the main hallway this morning by the current car this place gives away. From what I hear she was going to break it off. Well things most probaly came to a head this morning as when he was sitting at her BJ table. Apparently they were arguing and creating a big scene, that's when he pulled out the gun and shot himself.The shreik of his girlfriend could almost make time stand still from what I heard. I knew at least one person that was a witness to this horrible event. It's pretty bad from what i hear. The people immediately involved were taken to some kind of counseling.

He didn't shoot himself in the head but in the heart. He was taken to Niagara Memorial and later passed away.

All I can say is it just makes me look long and hard at what kind of environment I find myself working in. I guess 3 out of 4 of the basic elements of sex. drugs, lies and money were at play here.

I do appreciate the couple of text messges and phone calls of which I could not answer when all of this was on 2,4 and 7. The crazy part was the local media was in attendance for some other press conference.

What a day.

Lately I have noticed that I'm at the high end of my weight range 185. While at the same time it seems that I'm now a 32 in pants size since everything that I am own is is 34 and is just falling off my ass. I'm just thinking I need to do something and the weather still is not favorable to inlineskating. While at the same time I want to drop 10 and just flat abs. I'm not looking for "ROCKHARD" I just want lean and toned.

So what do I do to burn some calories? I decide it is a good idea on a cloudy dreary day to clean out my car. Needless to say the salt cake on the floor mats was a major catalist in this exercise. Unfortunantly while vacuming I realized that the machine suddenly turned off as I adjusted the door I somehow wedged the attachment I was using pretty close to the hinge, Great... I feel like fool. I can feel a slight bump on the bottom of the door. I guess the less on is all of this is just pay the $ and have someone else detail it for you :-/

In the mean time I think I'm just going to skip the breakfast line at work and just have 2 single serving bowls of Honey Nut Cherrios @ 220 caloires combines for the month of April.

---

On another note I had a really long overdue conversation with my Ex-Girlfriend last night. Basically I told her that it most likley was not a good idea for us to ever get back together again. In reality we have been broken-up almost two months before I ever started an (e:strip) blog! Yes, we did get intimate on more than a few occasions over the past year and a half but, you just don't expect to hear regret on the part of the person that dumped you.

To be honest I've for the most part moved on and the relationship with her was tarnished by the closeness of it to my abortion of a marriage. It's just that having someone that would "watch you die" like the song "What Sara Said" by D.C.F.C. is hard to totally walk away from. She is the polar opposite compared to my Ex-Wife. My Ex-Wife is so bad that she pretty much has made me swear off all Polish women (No offense, (e:imk2) I'm 100% Polish) So yeah, I got that line of thought revisted last night and it has been quite a while.

In closing it was been a weird 36 hours. Especially since I almost lost this post 3 times due to technical failures on my end. It's just that's another post that may be fueled by the funds that I fianlly recieved from my State Refund after 2 months...

I did end up going outlast night to see the Jackdaw show over at Mohawk Pl. It was the first time that I have even been in that place for a show and not a Transmission Dance Party. It was a nice crowd especially (e:dragonlady7) 's NCKO friends. Having a break away from junior trendy hipsters in training was nice change. I ended up running into a couple of people that come into work and play cards when I was at the show, which was weird. You expect to hear about the $350,000 bad beat jackpot being won by somene you work with not a player in a bar during a jackdaw show. I guess it was 4 of a kind 8's being beat by a 4 of a kind 10's. The loser with the 4 8's won 150,000 the winner of the hand 4 of a kind 10's got 87,500 and the other 8 people at the table that were just sitting around playing recieved 10,900. SO hopefully it will be a good night at work when I go in tonight in 2 hours or so.

Other than that I stopped by Diablo and check out was left on the wall by a boy from my Hood

So in all it was a good night, nothing really too crazy except for the Jackdaw Karma ;-)

Now I'm off to work a grave shift and deal with the hardcore degenerates on a Saturday Night...

So after messing around last night with my Dad over in Canada I ended up heading over to Transmission @ Mohawk with (e:carolinian) . It was a pretty descent night although it did start off pretty slow. WTF were they thinking in playing the Spice Girls??? It was just great to run into my friends Deb from Roch, Marv & Nick.

So after it ended we ended up checking out the other new bar on Allen. It was previously knows as the Jupiter Room but my circle of friends refered to it as the STUPIDiter Room for some reason. It currently has no name at the moment. All I can say is I won't ever go back there again. For starters Allen does not need another "Smoke-easy" I just hate cigarette smoke. That is why I don't go to the Pink as much just for that reason alone. Second the music just sucked in the place, it was just mindless Pop. Third, the drink prices were a bit high. To me it just seemd that the guys that run the place are trying to get some kind of "chip strip" ambiance to Allen and I just don't get it or they just don't get it. The low point of the night was me making some wrong selection on the Sex portion of the Trivia Wiz 3000 machine that we resorted to entertain ourselves in this lame joint.

Other than that our little group hit Jims and for some reason the Philly hit the spot for me. I don't know why I love that sub so much from that place, but I'll take it over the Steak & Cheese everytime. The highlight of the post night was when we realized that they had the Grateful Dead blaring in Jims @ 4:30 in the AM. I know it's Allen st but it actually did have a subliminal "calming" effect of the crowd of some tough mean looking people most likley making their way back from the Chip Strip.

On my way out from (e:carolinian) 's place this morning I was almost felt as if I was in some kind of horror movie trap. I closed the door from the stairs from his upper and was subsequently locked as the front door requires a key to exit. So although I did feel like a creep I did knock on his landlady's door as I heard that they wre up and a young woman answered and let me out.

Know i just have to finish up on some auditing stuff and go to work for a short shift. It never fails when I go out in Buffalo, someone calls into work and I have to fill in for a few hours....

I think I have my mojo back. I'm pretty convinced that this spring thaw has kicked my libido back into gear. I was pretty worried there for a bit.

Now I try to hope to catch a break or make a move in my life.

It really sucks that I'm stuck working a midnight shift on Saturday night, there's a Transmission party @ Mohawk :-(

Other than that I just cashed a ticket for a race at a New Jersey Track tonight. A player at work gave me a tip about this horse and I ened up betting him for about 1/2 of a days takehome pay.

I didn't watch the race, but I ended up checking the results online and was pleasantly surprised!

So I'm slaving away at work tonight and while I am enjoying the internat access on my break they installed the barracuda networks firewall. It denies access to myspace and livejournal as "chat," but I'm able to get onto (e:strip)!!!!

I wonder how long it will last?