With the return of winter I'm a bit jealous of my parents being down in Florida while I'm stuck up here working and going to school. My parents have more of a life than I do. I work a miserable job surrounded by degenerates of all kinds fellow employees and patrons. They are in Florida Dad on business/pleasure and Mom on a mental health sebatical.

I just wish I had those years back in which I was a bum and went down there all the time. The winter of 00/01 was the best I spent about 2 months down there spread out from December to April basically every college break and long weekend I could get. I suppose it was (e:imk2) and her desire for 8 weeks vacation that triggered the nostolgia.

I guess if I had the rescourses and had a job where I could get away without needing the paid time off I would live that kind of lilfestyle once again. Now I think it woudl entail heading out west every month or so instead of Florida. I just don't have any desire to go down there anymore except to enjoy the sunshine.

What reminded me of the area where my Mom is was the show "Underage and Engaged" last night on MTV. I think the young couple was from along the gulf coast since the bride's brother was late coming in from Sarasota. It was another one of thsoe "trainwreck" MTV reality shows but again I just felt compelled to watch it. i'm going to stick with the Florida thing as being the "hook."

Basically the best line from the show was the brides brother who is in the military mind you and said to her, "When I tell people that my sister is getting married no one says congradulations; they look at me in shock and say WHY she's so young!"

But although it did make me feel a bit old at the same time when you're a married couple and you live in a shed located in your parents back yard, you have nothing on me. Shit at least I had an apartment back in my married time frame of my life, it sucked but it was still better than being married AND living at home.

That chick had to be chasing some kind of father figure since it was her brother and not her estranged Dad that walked her down the isle.

There are just a few things floating through my mind right now.

What desktop system to get for my Dad and myself [Although it has to be a PC since it will split between us]

What kind of new phone to get?

Should I quit my job in the relative future to focus on going back to school full time and study for the CPA?

Should I get serious with someone?

Those are just a few questions that are floating through my head and have been for a considerable amount of time.

On top of the party and my class that got out early (thanks to the professor being a die hard purple eagles fan and a game going on at the same time as our class so he coudl sneak out) I ended up seeing two excellent movies.

The first one was Children of Men. It was scary in the sense that it was pretty much a commentary of current events. It had quite a bit of symbolism and subtle ideas going for it. What I really enjoyed was the sense that I'm pretty sure it appeared that it was shot entirely in the U.K. It reminded me on the movie Nineteen Eighty-Four in some aspects. It is just great to see a movie that is pretty much British or at least plays it self as such. The Prestige came pretty close, but then again it just may be that Sir Michael Caine is in every movie that I have seen in the past 6 months.

Last night I ended up seeing Running with Scissors with T* was Running with Scissors. I have to give her credit for point us to check it out at that scary movie theater behind Wal-Mart on Walden on the grounds of the former Thruway Mall. For $10 2 movie admissions 2 small popcorn and 2 diet pepsi's you just can't beat the price. I haven't seen Borat yet but when it does show up there I'm going back for sure. Even with the Gas I'll still be ahead.

I just loved it. Then again I am a sucker for the 1970's and find the the fashion, decor and the drug use fascinating. For some reason I just kept on thinking The Royal Tenenbaums but again I think Gwyneth Paltrow may have done that in shifting my perception of association. For some reason I think she has reached the point in her career where she just can't full off being the daughter/child now in her career. She just looked a bit too old and unbelievable, it's time to play the Mom not a Daughter. Although Evan Rachel Wood was just amazing, OMG! Then again I think I may have a soft spot for women from North Carolina.

You know it's a great movie when you have people walking out in the first half hour. It is eirther they are offended or just don't get it.

I was just looking over on LJ when I came across a journal that I haven't read in over a year. This author was once on my friends list a long while back and took her self off for whatever reason. To be honest I'm not quite sure but from my guess it must seem weird to have a single guy on your friends list when you're with a guy for over 1.5 years and all of the rainbows and puppies are floating around your head. I guess at some level I was jealous and wished my life was so young and innocent, ect.

Well I cam across her blog today. Basically it stated on a early Jan entry that 2006 was a miserable year, she got engagged and it fell apart and her life was karmically bad last year.

For some reason I got some satisfaction out of reading about her troubles. Then I realized that I don't know anyone who is happy that gets joy out of someone elses misery.

Yea, I felt like a total asshole.

In the grand scheme of things I donb't think it would have mattered much, except for the fact that she was one of the first journals I stumbled across on LJ about 4 years ago.

It's insane how you can measure someone's life from their blog if they keep it up consistently.

I have come to terms with my bad initial reaction and now have some empathy...

But Damn, Where did that nasty inital reaction come from?

I hope I'm not really an asshat deep down inside :-/

It was a interesting game last night. I ended up going with my Allentown friend last night and had a descent time. The Leafs pulled out a moral victory over a tired Sabres team that just hit E on the gas tank. All I can say is I love the seats that I do get get from time to time. There's nothing like people watching in the 200 level and watching the Lexus Shootout live.

So after droping off my friend and stopping by spot to grab a decaf tea for the ride home I find myself awake at 4am this morning. I had a really bad nightmare.

It started out in my friend Tom's '94 Dodge Caravan and I think we had another friend of ours in the backseat. We were someplace warm and the windows were open. I noticed a car of three women about 19 or so in a Honda Civic next to us on a gravel parking strip. They were singing to the top of their lungs some really braindead pop song about love & relationships in the bubble gum drama type of way. I turned to Tom and said, "They actually take that shit seriously!" As I said that an beefy in an athletic way Italian woman cop comes out of a convience store across the street and says something along of the lines of "You boys better watch it!" We speed out of there, make a right and a left and come to a dead end street with what looked like a washed out road. We hit the brakes and skid on this white sea shell Florida beach type of roadway.

Our momentum keeps going as we skid and then teeter on the ledge of the end of this sudden dead end street. Then we fall over rear over front and fall into this small beach and then the water. As we are falling I am just thinkg, "This is what I get for not driving myself and leaving it up to someone else." Then after I brace myself for the impact I felt my head bump the ceiling. As I then feel the water rush into the van I can't find the seatbelt to get out and I just think to myself, "So this is how it ends? My parents are really going to love getting this call of their other kid dying in the passenger seat."

I obviously woke up at that moment and in a blury daze checked my email on my phone to read (e:carolinian) and his comment that he left me on my previous journal.

So all I can take from this dream is just my subconscious is telling me to take charge in some way. The falling and drowning I'll have to look up I suppose. But Yea, I pretty disturbing dream sequence I never had or remember a falling and drowning dream before.

I was bored today @ work and I was basically trolling around the Buffalo CL and came across this What really hit home was

[box]4) Most people there, have been there, for a very, very long time, and yet, they are afraid of "commitments". When it comes to people on Match.com, the ones who are there for what seems like an eternity, there is reasoning you need to be aware of. First of all, there are far too many people on the site who simply do not have the TIME to devote to serious dating or serious relationships. They know this, and yet, they continue to troll around on Match, having the occasional interaction that usually leads no where. For them, this is the 'best' they can do as far as 'dating' goes. For them, it's not the same as being 'single', and, it's all an illusion they are very comfortable being a part of. Next we have the ones who are never happy with anyone. These people will talk to and make dates with several people at one time. They will keep a 'line up' of potential mates going at all times, so that they are forever 'upgrading' and keeping themselves in the 'life is too short to settle' scenario. Sadly, what happens with all these people, is none of their dates pan out, and they wind up being on the site longer than any other people. Some of them are probably eligible for free lifetime memberships.[/box]

Basically I was thinking that sometime soon I just should settle down and take a "full court press" in getting myself married, again. The last time I got into this mindset I found myself in a bit of trouble. Well actually it wasn't too bad until the skeletons started flying out of her ass.

Seriously, I'm starting to realize that I just don't want to be some single zombie walking through life messing with someone here and there when it is convient for me. There are two imprints that are fueling this round of me thinking to myself, "Maybe Eharmony is a good idea kind of logic." The first being that I am currently surrounded by 3 pregnant women at work, 19, 24 and 30 all of them on their 2 or 3rd kid. Then there is this 31 year old that has been after me ever since her "boyfriend" loose term there was fired about 7 months ago. Now she is a nice person but in terms of life made me realize that I'm really not all that inadequate. Yes, there are many things that am not even close to being on par with most societal norms and expectations, but I'm not pathetic. Although I did get a jabbing from my shift manager today about: being younger, married, making more money, owning 3 houses, having 2 kids, ect... Although I am pretty sure he was setting me up in getting me to buy his 2nd house on Grand Island.

The kicker today was when I stopped by the Orange Cat I overhead a conversation these two guys were having about relationships. The short of it was they were discussing if it was prudent for this guy to continue in a relationship with a woman 10 years older than him [she's 45, he's 35] if he wanted a shot at having kids. The older guys basically told the younger guy to just take the person at face value and ignore everything else. To me that's a tough one. Everyone has some kind of criteria and basic standards. Although it seems that every guy in every part of the country wants that skinny 20 year old, no matter what he looks like or is as a person, women have their own hangups in their own ways. The lifetime members to match.com are equally split down both genders, there is no right or wrong.

My own personal question is: What is in my head that has kept me single for a whiile now?

With the team's sucess I haven't been able to get as many tickets as I have in the past. So when I end up going to the game against my native Toronto Maple Leafs on Thursday it may be the only game that I end up attending. So with that in mind the other ticket that I possess became quite a stressful problem. So in regards to my nature of being someone who thinks way too much I ended up doing something that probaly should not have done.

So I ended up posting a CL ad to see if there were any takers for a guy with a extra 200 level ticket. Well the responses I got freaked me out. I consider myself about above average in regards to attractiveness but I was shocked to see what kind of pepple resonded and what they had in mind for me. Talk about leverage and parlaying material things into an interesting date. It made me think of that Good Charlotte lyric, "Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money..."

Damn

I am taking a friend of mine that I owe a favor/makeup event for having to bail on her back in October during that snow hurricane.

Now my only problem is not getting too depressed as Toronto gets beat for the upteenth time @ HSBC ;-/

Being that most of my friends still think I'm out in Vegas I had no plans last night. So when my Ex called and expressed an interest in doing something I jumped at the opportunity. In discussing on where to go we decided upon Faherty's, since she hates Allen St. It was the first time in the place for me and to be honest I really didn't feel it. Other than having Stella on tap and the impression of the bartenders knowing how to mix a mean drink [saw this one bartender mix a bad ass long island ice tea] I'm not sure I can get into that place. If it was warmer and the garage doors were open or if we had arrived earlier when a game was on it may have been different. Then again I was craving the Pink last night but couldn't get down there due to my deal. I swear I'm a better boyfriend when we are not together then I was when we actually were a couple.

The highlight of the night was actually towards then end. After we decided to leave I just had to get a jumbo dog from Louies. As we were waiting for our late night fuel I noticed a mid-ninties town car pull up and a distinguished gentleman make his way inside Louies. It was Lance Diamond and he ended up sitting next to up up front in the row of stools in the front window. Naturally he was in good spirits, and we had quite a good conversation about his gigs. Since I work with his sister we discussed the casino and the shows that he plays there on Friday's. The sore subject on how screwed up that place is and how they set him up for failure in those Wednesday shows @ Hush came into being. I did laugh at his smooth talk at my ex L* in trying to get us back together, but Lance it is not happening for a reason! Still it was the best part of the night was to hang out with him. Now if I knew he was playing last night I would have hit the Elmwood Lounge instead of Faherty's when I was exploring thing to do.

When I DRVed Jimmy Kimmel the other night I ended up recording the new show "In Case of Emergency" I must say it is some pretty funny, interesting stuff hitting home. John Favreau directed the piolt and for some reason I am always going to love that guy just because of the movie "Swingers." If you ever want to know why people should wait at least a couple of days before calling after getting the number just watch that one scene in that movie.

After getting back from Vegas I immediately went to work on that 9PM-5AM shift missing NYE @ PMT's. I was grateful for my getting the time off to sneak out to Vegas for one interesting time and to come back with the same amount of $ as I did when I left.

Tuesday, we were short handed and actually more so since the guy I was working with was still hungover from NYE. He seemed a bit more out of it then just being hungover but after working my ase off I just came home and crashed. I woke up this morning all thirsty, then my nose started to run...Great I'm sick.

Went into work again today and was again shorthanded and sick. The person that I filled in for NYE calls in and asks to speak with the head boss, she's going on disability due to some accident that she had 3 months ago. Her back was fine when I heard that she went out to the Chip Strip for NYE. Also keep in mind that she also called off on X-Mas. The whole reason why she's working in my department is for the hope that one day she will become a poker dealer. You have to realize that these guys bring home $60K which if the individual did GROSS $100K a year, is roughtly what they would take home after taxes. There really isn't any movement for that job. Making that kind of $ is just insane in Western New York for someone without a bachlors let alone a Masters or Two of them. We had about 5 or 6 quit and head out to Vegas for the W.S.O.P. and the one's that did get jobs out there all applied for their jobs back here. I suppose that out there there is a glut of dealers and two the cost of living was just unbalanced as compared to here. Basicaly what I'm saying if that is what you want you have a better shot of getting that job while being inside the organisation than walking from outside. She just has said that it is, "taking too long." Well Duh!

A pretty uneventful blah bad day until I go out to my car. A ticket is there but I just can't figure out what it's for at all. I parked my car after 6am so that couldn't be it and I was within the boundries of any posted sign. Then a further inspection of the ticket, EXPIRED REGISTRATION!!! and the best part is I let it lapse since August! So I call my Dad to figure out if it came in the mail and I just forgot to fix it on my car. He told me to go to the DMV, Nope, nothing and no. So knowning how this town works I go immediately to the Public Safety building and pay the thing a $50 fine a.s.a.p. Niagara Falls is notorious for throwing people in jail for outstanding tickets. The D.M.V is open late until 6:30 PM so I head down there and with little fanfare I renew my registration, cost $52.50. So I'm out $102.50 but to be honest it is my fault for letting all of that slide for so long.

Where I am now. I'm sick with my head stuffed up and just a bit annoyed that my schedule may be totally screwed up due to this individual playing the system. So I may have to do something drastic but the positive side is I have a nice rainy day fund and this may give me the reason to pick up more classes and get myself in a better position sooner than I imagined. The word was they were going to change my schedule around anways [not in a good way mind you] but this gives me a bit of a justified reason to pull the cord. That is what you get for having a descent work ethic where I am currently. Others just have that entitlement mentality right from the week that they are hired, despite the fact that you were there since day 1.

OK time to hopefully get some rest and clear my head.

On more intriguing note there was this show on Sundance tonight. It's called One Punk Under God. It's a documentary about Jay Baker the son on Jim and Tammy Faye-Baker of the PTL and Heritage USA scandal back in the 80's. It's quite interesting to say the least and has me hooked already on the piolt. Pretty wild stuff.

On another note my favorite Band The Twilight Singers are going to be on Jimmy Kimmel tonight. Too bad my body is not agreeing with my, so I'm just going to DVR it.

• SNEEZE*

I'm back in town. I feel half dead right about now. My ride told me tha the weather was fine until I arrived back here this morning. So she is basically saying that it's my fault for the dreary conditions :-/

I have the same amount of money on me that I left with less the things that I bought @ the Fashion Show Mall. The trip was a great exercise in online socialization as I hung with 2 friends of mine that I originally met on LJ. Hopefully the next time I'm out there I'll hang with (e:deeglam) as well.

It's just that when I was out there usually I think of things that I usually subconsciously ignore. I guess this trip was sex versus the concept of being in love. When I use the term sex it is used in the context of just settling with someone that you can get along with and do what people need to do naturally.

To be honest I have no clue in when was the last time I felt the passionate romance, the concept that I stumbled up on out the In LV of all places. I've just had people that I think I get along with great, but just it just never really made me queazy in the stomach or filled with fire like (e:lilho) is experiencing the flip side of right about now :-/ I guess I'm coming to the point of thinking it is better to feel pain than nothing at all. It's just that the people are the of that potential pool of possibilities in that department just don't ignite that fire in me. Then when I travel to some city something within me gets stired up that never crosses my mind when I'm back here.


Well unfortunantely off to work right now :-( and New Years eve as well ::--(( unless you guys are kicking it until 5am..yea right

I think for the first time I am going to make a few NYE resolutions, seriously

I went over to the Hard Rock last night. Well it was Tuesday in Vegas and most things were dead. Then I remembered that there was this place right around the corner called the Double Down Saloon. I was pretty impressed, since it was the closest thing a dive bar like the Old Pink in this town. Although the Jukebox was pretty much heavier music and Punk. The scariest and most fascinating drinks that I have seen are in this place. The speciality "Ass Juice" is a mixture of all the leftover bottles and they feature a "Bacon Martini" seeing the bacon in a bottle was quite a site. I just drank my mainstay Pabst Blue Ribbon. I was seeling like I merged Hardware and the Pink into one weird place. I ended up having some strange conversations with a couple of airline piolts and the bartender. Then again the place was pretty slow.

Then these people from California took me next door to a place called the Buffalo. It was jumping pretty good. I don't know if I should go into more details, but the theme was a Bear night! Pretty exhuasted I made it back to my room @ The HR after my Cali people left.

I have just cooled it on playing table games and slots. The slots have been chewing me up. The one sucessful aspect of this trip has been betting Hockey with my college buddy giving me games. So far we're 4-0 with my laying a lot of lumber yesterday with the Sabres. I don't want to say how much I bet but even though I won, it gave me some good fuel to go out as I did last night just due to the relief.



Tonight I'm off to placed downtown, the first being the Art Bar. Another LJ friend is taking me out and she's probally one of the most fascinating people that I know. I haven't hung out with her since the last couple of times I have been out here. It is never boring that is for sure.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll end up going to the new local casino Red Rock 30 minutes off the strip with my other LJ friend Chad.