So here are a couple of pics that I took from Fetish Night on Friday.

A Belly Dancer



Bring out the Gimp!



It was a good time. I had a Friday night free for the first time in a while. It is a bit scary on how I could be sucked back into that scene. It was so easy to mingle and flirt in that club, at least for me I suppose. Just why can't it be that easy for me in RL?

Anyway off to work.

Well it used to be my favorite night back in the day @ The Cont.

Now I am going to check it out @ Club Diabalo.

My old friend may not be here at the end of August, so it may be the last time I go to one of these things. With my old core group of friends possibly gone I may not venture into that place again.

Not expecting much, but with how things are setting themselves up for change in my life I really now have to act as if anything I do around here may be the last time I experience the event. I'm just not getting any younger.

Now if I can see some cool interesting stuff like i did at past events
(i.e. Women in hot wax demonstrations)

Ah, Memories and goodtimes

;-)

I just don't know what is going on with my mood lately. I'm not down, but actually in a bit of moment of angst I suppose.

With that I have this really guilty pleasure with that Rihanna song "Unfaithful." At first I just ignored it as a usual R&B Kiss 98.5/Wild 101 song. Then one day for some reason I just listen to the lyrics and thought "Holy Crap! This song is F'ed up in a cool dark way!" I have no clue who wrote it but I wouldn't be surprised if it is Brian Warner[Marylin Manson]

So fueling this mood I have just been purchasing alternative Hip Hop Cd's. First it was Atmosphere and now it's this (WIKIPEDIA - Sage Francis) Guy. Great, another influence on me based out of Rhode Island ;-) Do you know this guy ((e:jenks))?

So yea I'm getting into Fake Hip Hop artists based on alternative rock labels. All of these guys just remind me of (WIKIPEDIA - MC 900 Ft. Jesus) when I wsa a kid. He was on(WIKIPEDIA - Nettwerk) back in the day and now light years ahead of him time.

But, what a strange mood I am in for some reason.

I'm off to the Orange Cat to meet up with my old friend. It looks like she's going to be moving to Rochester soon so I better make the most of our time together.

So after last week and the recruitment drive I have been getting from my best college buddy to move to Arlington Va I came across this little list from Money/Cnn Basically if you look at this list you can see that Washington D.C. is the only non MEGA College town on that list. Yea D.C/NoVa has colleges but the biggest George Mason is a commuter school 19,000+ with very few dorms. So Yea why move to a Big 10 / Big 12 town where all of those singles are <22 yrs old? You don't see Chicago, LA, Philly, NYC on that list.

Last year when I went down there I never was hit on so much in my life from females. Ha Ha ;-) It makes me want to reconsider grad school this fall and take him up on his offer of his house for 3 months while I get myself situated.

So after the square I get a text message from someone I used to just be a F* buddy on occasion. Then I get a call from a co-worker wanting to "hook-up" before she goes off to the Chip Strip tonight. I didn't go through with it with either of those two.

I felt a bit bad after talking to me Ex today after she was informing me that she was going on a date tonight. The thoughts going through my head were, "Man I just should have done it!" I don't know I get propositioned but still I know deep down inside it would never work with any of the above long term. Yea I feel great in being wanted, but at the same time I feel so alone.

My one friend was right in giving me shit a couple of months ago when she basically said that i need to find someone that will give me that dropping down the first hill on a roller coaster feeling. Anyone else currently is just there and not too much else going on. I don't know if I just settle like some bad Death Cab for Cutie Song but with the E-Funk going around it is just another version of it I suppose.

On the funny side of things with all of that going on I did run into the one "friend" that gave me the passion speech. I ended up going to the Italian Fest to grab something to eat and just experience something since I have to work early A.M. Saturday and had to miss The Karma Police Show. She looked at me, gave a scared look and took off quickly with her girlfriend. I don't know what I am going to do. I have people around me but I'm so alone.

The kicker was as I was leaving the Italian Fest after saying goodbye to me friend Tom my phone rings. It's my Ex and she tells me that her date with this guy was a disaster. Yea on one level I felt vindicated but honestly we have to move along somehow sometime. So the entire 38 minute car ride back home was just us talking about our relationship and just analysing ourselves.

July is always a strange time of year for me. Last Year I think I looked and felt much better than I do now.








Then again I was on vacation exactly a year ago today.

Who knows what is going to happen with my life. Things are really uncertain right now. Just turn on any cable news channel. At least I took on part of my fears [crazy italian fest crowds, getting there, parking, eating the food] and survived. My lack of good game bums me out, but it is just a symptom of a bigger problem. Tackling that is the main goal.

Well it's Thursday and it is the one day of the week where I feel like I am not wasting my summer and life.

So I am pretty pumped to catch the reincarnation of Jim Morrison tonight @ The Square






Jeff Martin




So I am going to be attempting to have a good time today. Not before I attempt to go drop off my laundry and stop by Target and look for the new Sage Francis CD.

I stopped by the Youngstown Coffee Company today with my Mom and ran into my neighbors/parents friends. It was descent and the Egg & Steak Bagel was pretty good. There is nothing like the laid back scenic village of Youngstown during working hours in the summer. Watching the kids ride to Jr. Sailing the old ladies trying to do something productive and the people that are retired or independently wealthy just sipping their coffee trying to have a really profound intelligent conversation with people that kind of listen.



If anyone is looking for something to do tomorrow night (FRI) my buddies are playing Mr. Goodbar. I most likely cannot attend since I have to work the next day @ 6:45am :-(

If you do go print this flier out, it is good for a free drink at least. If you are in the neighborhood and you have nothing else to do, and you're like the music of Radiohead check it out.







OK now I feel like a total whore, but it's for a free drink....

In a bit selfish way I am a bit relieved to see that I am not the only one that is in a "Funk." At least I am not the only one that is going crazy. Now I don't feel so all alone.

Usually when I am in one I stay away from (e:strip) for the fear that my down emotion will be contagious and bring people down. That's why I have another blog in another place.

My Ex always said to me to find joy in really pointless stupid things.

So here is a pic I took last week when I was tearing up Allen and Delaware on Thursday:

Bubbles make me Happy!!!!



:-)

After work I made a mad dash toward downtown Buffalo for the taste. After a weird couple of calls I ended up pulling into the apartment complex of my Ex. We ended up going together and I ended up parking in a lot off of Elliot since I wanted to avoid the traffic that would be a nightmare on Niagara. So after we passed some kind of book festivile on Washington she needed to get to a Key ATM. We ended up walking up toward Chippewa, but we ended up running into these two girls. They had on these trendy white skirts and brown tops, THEY MATCHED!! So after walking around Washington and Main to Chip we ran into them again and again. They were apparently lost at first looking for the taste and then the other times they were looking for a M&T ATM. It was weird they couldn't have been older than 20, but they were wearing ambercrombie, young and skinny. Me, Ummm. Yeaaa OK. My EX talkative and in a messed up way was FLIRTING WITH THEM FOR ME in a weird kinda way?!? WTF?

In all I never really had a barbie kind of girlfriend. I suppose my personality is not the alpha male that will be the kind of subject like that Nickleback song "Next Contestant" Having guys constantly wanting to fuck someone that I'm with and trying it in front of me is not my idea of fun.

So if it is my the way I am or the universe directing me I find a woman with a brain more appealing that a young, skinny, rich designer of the moment wearing, dramaqueen.

I get hard if you tell me you read books more that how much you like Paris Hilton's new song.

The sick part is they were kinda following us around. They even gave me their facebook usernames!!! Too bad that I don't have a .edu email addy. ;-/ j/k ha ha

But, yea it got the the point where I couldn't handle it and just wanted to run. So in actuality it was a good thing that I was with my Ex. Then again being the somewhat suspicious person that I am; What if they were thinking I was WITH my Ex and they were trying to pull one of those let's mess around with him since "He's with HER kinda of thing and 'What kind of thing does SHE have on Him?'" Like I would get from people once in a while when we were dating.

I just don't know what was actually going on yesterday. All I know is my "Game" is pretty weak these days.

The Taste of Buffalo was not a exciting this year as in years past. I guess I'm getting sick of the same places and menu items year after year. The beer tent and the entertainment was more of my thing this year. Lance Diamond was a blast as well as some Rock/Metal band that was playing on the stage across from the Statler beer tent.

Ok enough whackiness for now.

Went out tonight with my old college buddy Eric and his wife Jen they also brought along Jen's friend Jen. So it was a bit of a wedding party reunion tonight. It is funny as I learned that they actually met on a start-up match.com. Take into consideration that it was 5 years ago now and back then people were just about to write you off as a freak for having to resort to the Internet to find a mate. It was one of those "Free Trial Periods" as they were promoted back then as they told me.

So the evening started off at PJ's or the sit down portion of Pizza Junction, a North Tonawanda institution. Not a bad meal filled with a bit of gluttony.

After attempting to brainstorm for idea's we ended up hitting JT Wheatfield's for a while. I just couldn't hack that place as I was just totally freaked out by the clientele and had to leave. Luckily Eric felt the same way and he came up with the idea of going to the comedy club.

So we ended up hitting up the Comix Cafe. Upon sitting at the bar for a while before the doors opened we learned that Rob Lederman of 97 Rock Morning Show Fame sold the place. There wasn't a stand up act as they had this I'm not too sure if they bought the place or not but the show was not bad, it's just that I prefer the stand up stuff. Would I go again? Probably but I would not get too excited about it. Then again one could get lucky and hit it at the right moment.

Sorry ((e:ladycroft)), ((e:nejifer)) and ((e:decoyisryan))

I had every intention of stopping by on Saturday. Unfortunately my schedule is pretty shitty these days and instead of having 24 hours to play with on Sat/Sun I have only 6 or 7 if I'm lucky.

My good college buddy Junior was moving back to NYC on Sunday. My original plan was to stop by and say goodbye and then head up to 3's company land. When we started talking and reminiscing about old times, friends and games it was 1:30 and I had to drive him somewhere to get something at the last minute. But, although I love (e:strip) I had to get a night with him for one last time.





So other than that I have just been the nice emotional friend for my Ex-Girlfriend. She is having a real tough time lately and I have been trying to be there for her as the best that I can without overstepping boundaries.

This entire week my other good college buddy is up from Northern Virginia with his wife. Now I get the entire "Hard Sell" to move down there this entire week. The thing is that lately I have been considering it more so than I have in the past. Their company during football season, Jobs, [single professional hot desperate women that outnumber men my age]. I have been told that if I moved down there Jen (my buddy's wife) would have me set up for a month with all of her single friends that she works with in her school district.

I have missed them terribly every fall during football season and they have likewise missed me. The people that they have tried to watch the games with for the last 4 years just are not compatible with our mindset. It's a bit to explain, but trust me on this one. So after work I'm going to head out to Fort Erie and meet his extended family at the racetrack.