I've been away for a while and to be honest I don't know how I would get 30,000+ views on here when I wasn't posting.

It's just that I have been sorting out what to do with my life lately. The topics of dicision range from 1. Shoud I quit my Job ? Mind you without having a place to land immediately afterward. Given this is almost suicidal since I've known people in this area that have done that and were sitting out in the cold for 6 month until they found another place to work. Then again that just could be a sign of WNY. I really don't want to whine and cry about the particulars but I just can't stand to work with the people any longer. Yes, a lot is going to change but I just can't stomach the individuals any longer and that is basically it.

In another thought I am starting to think I may be Fucked when it comes to "dating." I have to give kudos to (e:Carolinian) to his recent sucess. You still have the desire to go out there and try and make a go of it. For me I'm just like "Um..Ehh???" Basically when it comes down to it the way I'm wired sets me up for failure. If I elaborated it would be a long post and would basically frighten off any female that would read it. All I can say is that I know for a fact now that the people that drive me to show an effort in the end just are not what I want deep down inside. The people that fit my ideal just end up never getting anywhere near me by design or circumstance.

I've justified it to findout other qualities in a person and such, but in the end there are just certian laws of attraction that need to be there with relationshps and if they're not meet then you're just kidding yourself.

I'm going on a trip this week with an Ex. Basically I said you can come along if you just buy your own airfare and I'll take care of the rest. She took me up and her Mom is driving us to the airport. All I know is that deep down inside I'm taking her along as a nice thing to do since she has had a real tough time of thing lately.

When I get back I don't know what I"m going to do with my life. The thought of being free for the summer is quite appealing. Going down to D.C. and hanging out there or tagging along with my Mom to Poland sounds like even a better idea.

For the pics, I ended up going out Friday Night to Broadway Joes to see my boys play. What I noticed was someone reopened the old Mickey Rats. I suppose enough years has passed for a bar to open again on that premisis. It still has that scary feel to it as I walked by with the ghosts of White Baseball cap wearing dude past sizing me up. Missing was the trashy underage girls.