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Category: silliness

04/17/07 12:07 - ID#38927

A Way Out

After much conversation and finishing off a grande caramel macchiato with an extra espresso shot, it is predictable that one would need to use the bathroom.

I went into the facility: I open the door and immediately in front of me is one toilet, to the left on the same wall as the toilet is one sink, and the opposite wall from that is the free standing garbage can. Gray floors and walls complete the picture, well almost. Plain, but clean. Its all that I ask for and more.

really.

In the process of things, I turn 1.5 feet to my right and locate the sink. After washing and drying my hands, I navigate 2 feet behind me and toss the paper towel into the garbage can.

Now I'm stumped. How do I find my way out of the 5X6 foot bathroom? I must have left my compass in my other bag when I switched out purses. Drats. I find no secret portal in the waste can. The sink drain appears not big enough to squeeze my 5'9" frame into. I contemplate flushing myself down the toilet, but think the better of it.

I spin around a few times until I look directly up, and notice the EXIT sign in the small 3.5 wall room (1/2 of one wall is taken up by the door I came in with).

Oh the door, yes.. thats how I should proceed to get back out. I am grateful that there was an EXIT sign lit up to show me the way. heh.

;)

image









I really don't think I have noticed this anywhere before-- fire codes and all. Really-- an exit sign in a tiny bathroom??
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Category: silliness

03/06/07 11:58 - ID#38388

limited edition toxic green milkshake

I'm not obsessed, I just wasn't sure exactly what flavor the coveted Shamrock Shakes actually are. (to answer (e:leetee) ) Shamrock? ;) Mint? Kinda, but not really.. So I decided to do a little research.

This article cracked me up. This guy was on the search for the shake, and his commentary of his adventures were humorous to read, along with the pictures and commercials of McDonalds ads from long ago.

Whatever happened to Grimace, the Fry Guys and that Hamburgler???

and so, I read on.. laughing.. and now sharing. The link to the site/article is below, if you have a few minutes.

I don't even like McDs. Other than the fries, an occasional shake, and the yearly Shamrock Shake- just because.


"There is a significant Irish population in my town. There is a significant number of McDonald's restaurants in my town. Yet, there are no Shamrock Shakes. Not even during March. It's a fact that haunts me year after year, and a fact that doesn't process as such because, year after year, I hit every McDonald's in the whole damn city...just to be safe. As you might guess, this whole thing has become more than a simple pining for a good milkshake. It's a war. It's a life goal. It isn't so much about finding and devouring a Shamrock Shake and it is about just finding a Shamrock Shake,..."




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Category: silliness

02/08/07 01:47 - ID#38068

sugar is sweet

I recall as a little kiddo having the serious sweet tooth. My memories are vivid and I am grateful for that. Its fun to think back to experiences 30 years ago and it doesn't seem that far away. Once, I wanted something sweet so badly, that I took a spoon from the counter and pulled out a bag of sugar from the lower cabinet. I must have been in my 2's, early 3's as I could not read yet and I could not reach the spoon drawer. I was inventive and managed to work my way into anything that I wanted to get at. Noticing the spoon that was left out on the counter and with the help of a sturdy pull out drawer, I stood on that to reach for the spoon, the very utensil that would help get the sugar out of the bag. After proudly climbing back down with my spoon, I dug into the bag of sweetness that awaited me. A spoonful of sweet white crystals was scooped up and emptied into my mouth. It would have been a delicious success if the bag were indeed sugar and not a bag of salt!! YUCK! I remember being frightened and disgusted at the ordeal I found myself in. I don't remember what happened after that or how I got the taste out. If my dad was there, i am sure he would have been on the floor laughing at me a bit before helping me. You never ever forget an experience like that and never want to do it again, if you can help it. Read on..

A splendidly productive and rejuvinating week. I have been working on multiple projects- some to completion as others are still in the process. Either way it has all been a really good time. Every day I am thankful for the energy, ambition and creativity to delve into the many projects that are co existing. I am a little confused on a couple of them, but all in all I am excited about everthing in my life. Even my dreams of past situations have a positive edge to them. Everywhere I look, I am just so fascinated.

Along with the creative process, I have been cooking and baking more. It isn't that I can't or don't, but it is generally only an occasional endeavor. I prefer to create over following a recipe- as part of the process is to have fun AND enjoy the end result. Often its a little bit of both. I loosely follow a recipe and rely on creative inspiration. Friends and family have put in requests, which I will be happy to oblige them. Cookies had been the big thing as of late. I will be working on a soup soon, and then perhaps home made pizza. Something sweet will be amongst all of that too, ofcourse.

The weather is perfect for making good food, slowing down and relaxing. During this cold weather I have not ventured very far. As I tend to 'run cold', even with layers of clothing, sometimes I can't shake the chill. Funny that I love outdoor adventures and this season. I think I am most effected by the indoor temps and when I am not moving around much. I am fortunate to have a very warm apartment. It holds in the heat well and I am able to set the thermostat lower and still have the air register 6 degrees warmer than it is set. A cozy fireplace adds to the sense of warmth. hmmm wood! Oh and soft flannel sheets.

I have been parking my car in my garage, I am sure the engine and battery are happy for it. This has also been helpful for my neighbor who comes over and plows my driveway. I have a very long driveway and he always does the whole thing. When my car is sitting out, it is probably more effortful to get around it. I would like to do something nice as a thank-you for the plowing efforts. I thought that while I still had baking ingredients, that a dozen cookies might be a nice token of thanks. Besides, all of my visitors of late have been inquiring, "do you have any cookies left?"

So I proceeded to put together the necessary ingredients to make cookie batter. I intended to make a large pan of "cookie bars" as opposed to dropping dough on the flat sheet in blobs. The bars would be fun to have and just as yummy.

I have the baking ingredients in a bag that I keep in my basement pantry. I rarely use sugar or flour for anything else. I usually try to keep a small baggie or container of sugar available for friends and family who use it in their coffee and tea, otherwise I just wouldnt have any. I had a small plastic butter spead container filled with sugar for just that purpose. When I recently cleaned out my cupboards, I noticed that I had yet another container of sugar. It was a small clear container with a piece of tape on it with 'sugar' written on it with a marker. I recalled that I had brought this container home from work almost two years ago. The classroom I was working in had needed to pack everything up for a move to another building. We decided not to take most of the cooking and art supplies with us, so instead of throwing them out, I took a box full of stuff home. I didn't know what was in the box until I brought it home. Food coloring, vinegar, frosting, markers, glue, container of sugar and a few other items comprised the contents of the box. I don't recall exactly what i didn't with everything, but apparently I held onto the small container of sugar, as I still had it two years later. As I cleaned out the cupboards a couple of weeks ago, I thought of tossing it out, but then decided against it, as the sugar was still smooth and fine. It hadn't hardned like sugar often does. I figured the container was full and the seal was tight, so no air escaped or made its way in.

When I have a bag of sugar that is open yet I am done with it for the time being, I tape the bag it came in closed then place it in a large ziplock bag- and take any other precautions to maintain freshness. WHo knows when I will need sugar again. I prefer to buy just the baking ingredients I need, as often there is quite a bit of time in between baking adventures. My intentions around Christmas were to bake, which never happened, so I was well supplied for my recent cookie extravaganza.

After making multiple dozens of cookies a few weeks ago, I surprised myself that I would think to make more so soon. I was also pleased that I still had indredients to use up. I brought the bag of ingredients back upstairs and into the kitchen. Music is playing in the background and I dance around the kitchen gathering bowls, measuring cups and paper towels to clean my mess as I go.

The first thing I do after softening the butter is to add the sugars. I re open the bag of brown sugar and dump in a half cup of firmply packed brown sweetness. I then turn to the white sugar to do the same. I look at the nice tape job and as I was about to tear through it, I remembered the container of sugar I recently located. I proceed to pull that out of the cupboard and add the necessary amount to the bowl. Then I remembered that I was making a double batch for the 'cookie bars' and would need to go back and add more of everything. Done, no problem. I finish off the rest of the recipe and thoroughly hand mix my creation. I always have to taste the cookie dough- I hadn't yet added the chips, as I like the taste of plain dough.
I take just a tiny amount and place it on my tongue, expected the sweetness to slide over my taste buds and tease me with thoughts of what yumminess was yet to come.

Then my taste buds recoiled in alarm. Something was not right! Did I not mix the batter well enough? I felt like I just placed straight baking soda on my tongue. I began to spit. I stood over the kitchen sink and turned the water on. I quickly cupped water into my mouth, swished and spit. I repeated this process many times without effect. Its briny, salty, sickening thick and.. and...salty! I felt like my tongue was a slug that just had salt poured on it and was beginning to shrivel up. My imagination is always looking for opportunities to jump in and it was loving this! Swishing, spittingand gagging continued. In a moment of desperation or hilarity, I took to dragging my finger nails down my tongue. I scraped and clawed at the unwelcome substance. GAH! dammit, why don't I have a tongue scraper?? (e:oda) had just posted about them. In hindsight I could have grabbed a spoon, as (e:paul) mentioned, but it never cross my mind. Holding my tongue in one hand, scraping at it with the other, while bent over the kitchen sink and uner the flow of running cool water would be the image I am to share with you.
Although the sharp pungent taste has receded a bit, I continued to feel gross and shiver from the experience. I needed to get the remaining brinyness out fo my mouth for good. I opened the cupboard and grabbed a box of Cheeries and dumped a handful into my mouth. I munched on the little cruchy circles with the intention of replaceing one taste with another. I polished it off with a small cup of juice. I sighed in relief as I no longer had what felt like a mouthful of salt in my mouth. Now I could investigate the source more thoroughly.
I pushed and pulled the spoon around the bowl a few more times, ensuring the contents were well meshed. I dipped my finger into the dough, and gingerly placed the tinest amount on my tongue. As my tonuge just through quite an ordeal, I didn't want to swallow and have the same reaction. Besides, my taste buds were able to quickly recognize that the same assalut will result("Asalt" haha har-har scored me some pun points). I spit out the obnoxious dropping and stared at the offending bowl. wtf??

I added everything that I needed to and in the correct amounts. Then I looked at the clear container marked, "sugar". hmm. Do I dare try the contents of that container straight up? My investigative mind prompts me to follow through on this thought.

Just a little now.. I use my pinky finger to pick up just a few white chrystals. I bring my finger to my mouth and bust out laughing when the mystery is solved. The unsuspecting container of 'sugar', is in fact a container of SALT!!!

hahahahaha. So there was more than a cup of salt in the dough!! Grosssssssss!

And, rightfully so, my delicated little taste buds were skeptical of all food for the remainder of the night.

I scooped the contents of the bowl into the garbage and trashed the container of salt as well.

My token of thanks will have to come in a different form at another time. Can you imagine if I hadn't taste tested the batter??

oy!
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Category: silliness

01/23/07 01:39 - ID#37835

Two X Two Things


1. if your chocolate icecream is melting, you should probably NOT leave it sitting out. That is what a freezer (or the porch) is for. :(

1a. Melted icecream does not refreeze or do anything else well, other than being tossed in the garbage.

2. its SNOWING- time to go outside and play. woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!

2a. XC skiing will be the play of choice, as snowball fights by myself may not go over very well with the locals. It would be funny though. (e:vincent) , do you have skiis or snow shoes to join me?


3. I am not a vegetarian, although a majority of my diet would say otherwise. What makes me totally un-veggie is the occasional need to sick my teeth into a cow. Yes, its that time of the year that I highly desire a slab of beef-grilled medium- and nothing else at all. I prefer poultry/fish when I get my meat on and occasionally any other form if it looks/smells good. However, this ravenous-carnivore desire is undeniable. It began yesterday, and I thought perhaps my body just wanted protein- so I selected a chicken sandwhich at Cafe 59 although an Eggplant sandwhich would have been preferred, taste wise. That didn't do it. So later on, I had an egg for dinner (brunch held me over). Nope, still not satisfied. Thats when I concluded that a pitstop at Federal Meats is in my future. Just a little is needed to suffice.

3a. With my steak, a side of red wine and an action movie is all that is needed, wanted.

4. My car is back. It was the brake line. The cost was nothing that I couldn't handle. Glad to have wheels again! :)


Be well, stay warm, drive safe!
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Category: silliness

01/17/07 10:13 - ID#37738

playful day

AH HA!

I could barely sleep last night. Energy and thoughts bounced through me. Toe tapping, probably smiling, entertaining light dreams.. I woke with just as much energy, if not more. Nice!

There are big fat snowflakes dropping to the ground- so pretty! They are clinging to everything except for the road. Just the way I like them :) This is good- other than purposeful donuts in empty parking lots, I do not like to be concerned with driving far in the snow- myself or anyone else.

I am going to go play outside for a a little while. Go for a walk, perhaps take my camera. But not too long-- have to meet a friend then get going to an appointment.

Shortly I will trek out to Williamsville for a dental appointment. I don't love it, but I do go for cleanings a few times a year. I was there just last week for a scrape and prod. Happen to have a filling from childhood that needs to be replaced and that is why I am going today. I swear my frequent visits have nothing to do with my raging crush on my dentist.

He's so darn cute.

However, married with baby..

so the best I will get from him is Hot Oral.. Hygeine.

hehe
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Category: silliness

01/16/07 11:32 - ID#37732

Crush

Not that kind..

Jumping on the You Tube theme..

I LOVE Kids in the Hall..

so many skits- couldn't possibly choose my favorite. However, I have always been fond of CRUSHING YOUR HEAD, crush crush crush!

Amuse yourself like I did..




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Category: silliness

11/17/06 10:30 - ID#36087

you like it feisty

I've tried numerous times today to bitch about radio music.

p:mobl was a p:ain in my ass today. My pocket PC has been loading my post since 11:30 this morning.

Since it continues to annoy the hell out of me, even though I have since turned off the radio, I will share my annual pet peeve.

TURN THE MERRY-FUCKIN' CHRUSTMAS MUZAK OFF.

I havent even had my annual plate of gutton yet, and those tunes are already felizFNnavading all over the air airwaves?


I happened to have a few appointments this morning: oral violations, on again off again addictions to attend to, my weekly ass ramming (see below) and bi-weekly dignity deposit

(read: teeth cleaning, Tim Hortons, Tank fill-up and its Payday!)

feelin' fine, feelin' feisty, feelin' its finally friday

yeh, ok. So this morning I don't feel like tuning my iPod to a fuzzy station on the car radio. I knew I would be in and out of my car (and hence packing up the iPod everytime I got out) before I hit the highway for any length of time, so I decide to try something new: I'd listen to the radio inbetween errands. Curious that maybe I would find something new and interesting to listen to, I was feeling hopeful-- kept on pressing the "seek" button--

feeling hopeful until I heard multiple stations with CHRISTMAS music.

AHHHHHHHHHH WTF?!?????!!!!!!!!!!!

well, that had to go. A little premature for that, hmm?

Not to forget the slew of christmas/christmas themed movies and television shows on the 25" brainsuckingmediabox this evening.

Moral of this post?

Stick to iPod

stick to porn.

just don't stick to your iPod.

happy friday, kiddies ;)
image






j/k
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Category: silliness

11/01/06 02:08 - ID#36076

he heals!

Halloween is the coolest time of year. 5his is probably the first year that I didn't do anthing directly related to it. I didn't even have a pumpkin!
However, Halloween night Jesus gave me a full body massage. I sprung for a nice treat to polish off my weekend. It wasn't candy, but it was sweet. I felt both relaxed and rejuvinated afterwards. While I was lying there naked, I had to supress a fit of giggles. If I hadn't already checked out his belt line, It would have been more strange than what it was to hear the sound of unzipping while I lay there with my eyes closed.
But I had seen a little pack attached to his belt...
if I had started to laugh, I know I would not of been able to stop. There were too mnay humorous and lewd things rolling through my mind. Thanks jesus.

I think I can afford a monthy self-spoiling activity..

so my night of relaxation quickly dissappated upon arrival to work. bah.

a hot bubble bath and a glass of wine is in my future this evening..

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Category: silliness

10/22/06 08:23 - ID#36070

stinks and other stuff

hahah, I am always amused at the random comments in the chatter. This is yet another example of why I love the Chatter: (read in order)

  1. kookcity2000 19:10 Paul how do you tell a bot from a guest

  1. paul 19:15 the way they smell

  1. kookcity2000 19:15 so those are smells that you smell on a frequent basis

and thats it.

Then I read (e:kookcity2000,54) and it made me giggle even more. So, what do I tend to smell on a frequent basis? hmmm..

my olfactory is usually presented with the following daily aromas:

vanilla. This time of year I burn a vanilla scented candle.

sticky stuff oozing from a Noco factory that I pass crossing over the Grand Island bridge. Yuck

smell of hot rooibos tea- either natural or infused with lavender. I drink it every single night (and green tea in the morning, but that doesn't have much smell)

earthy freshness coming in or going from Youngstown; lucky me.

food wafting from restaurants on elmwood avenue.

my leather furniture

smells I try to stay far away from:

cigarettes and perfume and anything with a 'harvest' smell.

I hate Endust furniture dusting spray in that scent. I used to clean houses for a living while working on my undergrad- clients supplied their own cleaning stuff and I'd have to use a particular kind/brand if they wanted. Endust was the worst and 409 cleaner. It all gives me a headache or atleast a general icky feeling.

I get scent nausea- headache, itchy red eyes and mood irritabilty if around the source for an extended time (especially applies to cigarette smoke). I need fresh air.

  • yawn* I am tired.

late night last night-- fun, but ooh I am feeling it today. That and the cold, super rainy and windy day today. I just want to snuggle under covers all evening, but I am working on a project instead. More on that later.

be well, peeps!
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Category: silliness

09/25/06 08:11 - ID#36045

yer ma hero (updated)

"Heroes" is on tonight; think I just might watch some tv! Is this the first episode? or has it been on? Suppose, I'll find out if I tune in at 9pm.

I'd really like to catch up/rent all of Greys Anatomy- I have enjoyed the few episodes that I remembered to watch. I usually don't watch anything as I rarely remember to watch it, or I don't feel like watching tv or I just don't like being forced to continur to watch something week to week. Usually i prefer instant gratification- where once I choose to watch somethiing it is over 30 to 60 minutes later; a nice clean break. I don't have to tune in again if I don't want to. Law and Order, Roseanne andf Will and Grace re runs is perfect for me. These dramas that go on week after week? too much effort. Suppose I have a bit of a commitment phobia-- not sure if I can handle a television relationship.

But then, maybe it can't hurt to tune in once in awhile.. see if there is something out there that I may really like and am willing to remember to watch every week. Maybe get some use out of my VCR, haha.. now thats pushing it.

Anything really good on tv?

Wonder how this "Heroes" is/will be?

I'll find out in less than an hour.

update: Heroes was pretty damn cool-- I like the fantasy element of this show- pure escapism with a tiny wist of realism. I have a creative imagination and enjoy suspending disbelief as I choose. Its fun to jump into a world of make belief. This show just might do it for me. Now, if I just remember to watch..

Not quite used to my schedule.. getting in closer to 7 pm, rather than shortly after 4. On a positive note, it kinda works better with my sleep/wake schedule-- but it is seriouly weird to be sitting here and realizing that it is 8 pm already. Oh well..

keeps me out of trouble.

later gators
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