mobile04/22/07 12:21 - 62ºF - ID#39000
a few good nuggets
Steve Jobs' Commencement address (2005) on YouTube followed by the text version. I was sent this recently and thought there were a few good nuggets to share. Rather, take away from it what you will. Whether a good laugh, moment of contemplation, spark of epiphany or disgruntled snicker (you know who you are, haha), its a thoughtful read.
Text of Steve Jobs' Commencement address (2005)
Text of Steve Jobs' Commencement address (2005)
This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5ยข deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky - I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me - I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.
This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
Thank you all very much.
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5ยข deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky - I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me - I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.
This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
Thank you all very much.
Permalink: a_few_good_nuggets.html
Words: 2332
Location: Youngstown, NY
Category: friday
04/21/07 12:06 - 46ºF - ID#38981
diablo
yeh, i havent been there in awhile, but I am heading out tonight.
come join
smoke some cloves
haha
come join
smoke some cloves
haha
Permalink: diablo.html
Words: 19
Location: Youngstown, NY
Category: friday
04/20/07 01:31 - 60ºF - ID#38976
inhale exhale
um yeah, Happy 420 -- pass it on ;)
I forgot it was easter but i remember 420, haha
I head out for a walk probably just about every single day of the year. Any sort of weather will do. Even when I don't really feel like it, at the time that I would normally go, my body starts itching to do it. Same thing happens when on a regular schedule for the gym.
anyhoo-- with the sunshine, it really makes a difference- puts an extra bounce in the step. you know how it is :)
that is all.
so go on and inhale the sparkling air.
or anything else you choose to inhale ;)
I forgot it was easter but i remember 420, haha
I head out for a walk probably just about every single day of the year. Any sort of weather will do. Even when I don't really feel like it, at the time that I would normally go, my body starts itching to do it. Same thing happens when on a regular schedule for the gym.
anyhoo-- with the sunshine, it really makes a difference- puts an extra bounce in the step. you know how it is :)
that is all.
so go on and inhale the sparkling air.
or anything else you choose to inhale ;)
Permalink: inhale_exhale.html
Words: 110
Location: Youngstown, NY
04/19/07 09:40 - 54ºF - ID#38964
Distance around delaware park
Ok, out of curiosity- what is the distance around Delaware park? I've never really wondered before.. just walked around 2-3 times before getting bored of the scenery.
unless there are Rugby players, then I can't seem to walk at all.
they were out today :)
and so many other people.
a very nice day, indeed.
unless there are Rugby players, then I can't seem to walk at all.
they were out today :)
and so many other people.
a very nice day, indeed.
Permalink: Distance_around_delaware_park.html
Words: 54
Location: Youngstown, NY
Category: entetainment
04/19/07 11:43 - 47ºF - ID#38956
Dark Shadows
First, thank you very much (e:zobar) , (e:mrmike) and (e:ladycroft) for the push reel lawn mower information. I will look around and see what I can find :)
I've rarely been able to commit to watching a television show. Even with VCR's and now Tivo/DV-R (alright, so maybe, just maybe if I had the latter, I might become a junkie).
Sure there have been and continue to be shows that I catch- but they are more likely ones that do not require week to week season to season follow through. ie; Law and Order, Seinfeld, Family Guy, Roseanne reruns
There was one show in the early 90's I remember really getting into. I caught it on tv at a friends house and found myself mesmerized.
Does anyone remember, "Dark Shadows: The Revival" ?
I don't remember much about it. Other than vampires, cool period clothing and some interesting looking men. The plot must have intrigued me as it was the one show that I really liked and wanted to watch forever. I kept at it for several episodes until it suddenly went off air.
Ever since then I would fondly think back to that show. I wanted to find it and finish watching it! I remember in the mid nineties (pre household internet access) seeking out information on it.
At some point I realized that it was based on the series, "Dark Shadows" which ran 1966-1971.
At the time I thought my show was just "dark shadows" which may or may not have had "revival" in the title line, or rather I didn't notice or care. Didnt actually know until that that it was based on an original series. And that is all I would find when I would look for "Dark Shadows" anywhere.
original series and some info on the revival:
(WIKIPEDIA - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_Shadows)
Several more years passed and forgot about looking for the show that I knew. Perhaps it never existed, or that I go the name wrong.
It wasnt until very recently that i thought about it again and decided to look for it.
found it.
One year it was on, back in 1990-1991 and then suddenly ended, as i recall.
from wikipedia
I am thrilled to have the episodes in my possession. I'm hoping I will love it as much I had or perhaps I will love it for other reasons.
I am now curious about the original series. That went on for 5 or 6 seasons, which are also available for purchase. I would need to watch a few before I decided to buy them all.
There are other shows that I would eventually like very much to buy as I have seen a few and loved them, then found myself not willing or able to watch them weekly.
all at once or at my leisure on dvd, sure.
Smallville is namely one of them (LOVE!!!). I catch occasional new ones and plenty of old ones in syndication, but I want them all to watch in order. And now, Heroes. Began to watch it when it very first started, but missed one or two, then decided not to watch it so as not to be so confused with story line. I totally loved what I did see and I am hoping someone has been recording them this past season :)
I've rarely been able to commit to watching a television show. Even with VCR's and now Tivo/DV-R (alright, so maybe, just maybe if I had the latter, I might become a junkie).
Sure there have been and continue to be shows that I catch- but they are more likely ones that do not require week to week season to season follow through. ie; Law and Order, Seinfeld, Family Guy, Roseanne reruns
There was one show in the early 90's I remember really getting into. I caught it on tv at a friends house and found myself mesmerized.
Does anyone remember, "Dark Shadows: The Revival" ?
I don't remember much about it. Other than vampires, cool period clothing and some interesting looking men. The plot must have intrigued me as it was the one show that I really liked and wanted to watch forever. I kept at it for several episodes until it suddenly went off air.
Ever since then I would fondly think back to that show. I wanted to find it and finish watching it! I remember in the mid nineties (pre household internet access) seeking out information on it.
At some point I realized that it was based on the series, "Dark Shadows" which ran 1966-1971.
At the time I thought my show was just "dark shadows" which may or may not have had "revival" in the title line, or rather I didn't notice or care. Didnt actually know until that that it was based on an original series. And that is all I would find when I would look for "Dark Shadows" anywhere.
original series and some info on the revival:
(WIKIPEDIA - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_Shadows)
Several more years passed and forgot about looking for the show that I knew. Perhaps it never existed, or that I go the name wrong.
It wasnt until very recently that i thought about it again and decided to look for it.
found it.
One year it was on, back in 1990-1991 and then suddenly ended, as i recall.
from wikipedia
Although it was a huge hit at introduction (watched by almost 1 in 4 households according to official ratings during that time period), an untimely international incident would inflict a fatal wound to the show. The onset of the Gulf War caused NBC to continually pre-empt or reschedule the early episodes resulting in viewer confusion and a loss of momentum. In the end, it was canceled after only 12 episodes.
I am thrilled to have the episodes in my possession. I'm hoping I will love it as much I had or perhaps I will love it for other reasons.
I am now curious about the original series. That went on for 5 or 6 seasons, which are also available for purchase. I would need to watch a few before I decided to buy them all.
There are other shows that I would eventually like very much to buy as I have seen a few and loved them, then found myself not willing or able to watch them weekly.
all at once or at my leisure on dvd, sure.
Smallville is namely one of them (LOVE!!!). I catch occasional new ones and plenty of old ones in syndication, but I want them all to watch in order. And now, Heroes. Began to watch it when it very first started, but missed one or two, then decided not to watch it so as not to be so confused with story line. I totally loved what I did see and I am hoping someone has been recording them this past season :)
Permalink: Dark_Shadows.html
Words: 628
Location: Youngstown, NY
Category: nature
04/18/07 07:43 - 42ºF - ID#38948
sunshine baby, yeah!
Haha, (e:jenks) your comment inspired this post.
It was really neat- within half an hour of making my prior post, (aksing kindly for the sun to shine) the clouds parted and the sun came out- full on and strong and it stayed!! Its well after 7pm (some 5 hours later) and it is still shining bright.
"Do you live somewhere different than I do?! Grass? Green? Lawnmower? Last time I was outside (granted it was almost 12hr ago) it was cold and grey and rainy. Did it get nice out while I've been working?!"
yes, the grass is green and crazy long. Looking out my window, it appears to be wild field of long blades, as opposed to the usually manicured lawn that it is.
A few miles makes some difference. Some are in a snow band, others in a sunshine band? Youngstown area does have a little bit of different weather at times- not that it makes any sense- and not all of the time.. but its a noteworthy phenomenon. Such as, it can be a blizzard everywhere else, and as soon as you are within feet of the village- sun and greenery. I bitched about it a lot these past couple of years- skiis up against the door waiting for use at one of the local parks. Or when I lived full time in Buffalo- I'd come visit friends/family this way, and I would be in awe of the difference- probably bitching that it was so 'nice' in comparison. Its a quirky little thing. Today, I was glad I had to be in Y-town for company arrival.
i am just so tickled that the sun came out. I sooooo needed that!!! thanks :)
after my company left, i took off for a long walk. perfect!
only armed with my cellphone, I snapped a few pics..
proof of sun!
proof of green grass!
proof of long green grass!
(just being silly)
now lets please crank up the heat factor a little bit :)
ok.. soooooooooooo not a big deal, but I am easily amused.
at the Fort..
various lawn pics. why not?
clumps of cut grass
fresh cut today - mower blades cut too close, IMO
ooh not to mention another great thing about spring time as you all know- but the great sounds of frogs and other little noise making creatures. For the next couple of months, I can hear them through both open and closed windows. No need for my little machine that makes those noises to sleep to!
Spring is great when it is really truly here! so come on sunshine!
It was really neat- within half an hour of making my prior post, (aksing kindly for the sun to shine) the clouds parted and the sun came out- full on and strong and it stayed!! Its well after 7pm (some 5 hours later) and it is still shining bright.
"Do you live somewhere different than I do?! Grass? Green? Lawnmower? Last time I was outside (granted it was almost 12hr ago) it was cold and grey and rainy. Did it get nice out while I've been working?!"
yes, the grass is green and crazy long. Looking out my window, it appears to be wild field of long blades, as opposed to the usually manicured lawn that it is.
A few miles makes some difference. Some are in a snow band, others in a sunshine band? Youngstown area does have a little bit of different weather at times- not that it makes any sense- and not all of the time.. but its a noteworthy phenomenon. Such as, it can be a blizzard everywhere else, and as soon as you are within feet of the village- sun and greenery. I bitched about it a lot these past couple of years- skiis up against the door waiting for use at one of the local parks. Or when I lived full time in Buffalo- I'd come visit friends/family this way, and I would be in awe of the difference- probably bitching that it was so 'nice' in comparison. Its a quirky little thing. Today, I was glad I had to be in Y-town for company arrival.
i am just so tickled that the sun came out. I sooooo needed that!!! thanks :)
after my company left, i took off for a long walk. perfect!
only armed with my cellphone, I snapped a few pics..
proof of sun!
proof of green grass!
proof of long green grass!
(just being silly)
now lets please crank up the heat factor a little bit :)
ok.. soooooooooooo not a big deal, but I am easily amused.
at the Fort..
various lawn pics. why not?
clumps of cut grass
fresh cut today - mower blades cut too close, IMO
ooh not to mention another great thing about spring time as you all know- but the great sounds of frogs and other little noise making creatures. For the next couple of months, I can hear them through both open and closed windows. No need for my little machine that makes those noises to sleep to!
Spring is great when it is really truly here! so come on sunshine!
Permalink: sunshine_baby_yeah_.html
Words: 448
Location: Youngstown, NY
Category: potpourri
04/18/07 02:20 - 40ºF - ID#38940
grass is greener
I love the sound of lawn mowers as it depicts, in my mind, one of the many sights, smells and sounds of summer.
Despite the cool dark days, the grass is deep green and growing quickly. I have seen people mowing all week. My own yard having been one of them just a few days ago.
My neighbor, with his obnoxiously loud riding mower is a welcome sound today. He is off riding in his yard, but it sounds like he is on my porch. Goodness, is that a cherry bomb muffler?? I feel desperate for sunshine. The mower rattling in the background makes me think, on some level, that we will have sunshine soon. *sigh*
It smells nice outside and the temps are warmer than I think they are, especially now that I am back in Y-Town, by 5 degrees. So this is really about sunshine. Bring it on, please.
Ooh, I want one of those old school lawn mowers- the twirly blade kind that operates on your own energy. Gah, I can not remember what they are called- something other than push mowers. We had one when I was a little girl, and I think PMT has one. Is there a specific name? And where do I find them?
Despite the cool dark days, the grass is deep green and growing quickly. I have seen people mowing all week. My own yard having been one of them just a few days ago.
My neighbor, with his obnoxiously loud riding mower is a welcome sound today. He is off riding in his yard, but it sounds like he is on my porch. Goodness, is that a cherry bomb muffler?? I feel desperate for sunshine. The mower rattling in the background makes me think, on some level, that we will have sunshine soon. *sigh*
It smells nice outside and the temps are warmer than I think they are, especially now that I am back in Y-Town, by 5 degrees. So this is really about sunshine. Bring it on, please.
Ooh, I want one of those old school lawn mowers- the twirly blade kind that operates on your own energy. Gah, I can not remember what they are called- something other than push mowers. We had one when I was a little girl, and I think PMT has one. Is there a specific name? And where do I find them?
Permalink: grass_is_greener.html
Words: 210
Location: Youngstown, NY
Category: silliness
04/17/07 12:07 - 36ºF - ID#38927
A Way Out
After much conversation and finishing off a grande caramel macchiato with an extra espresso shot, it is predictable that one would need to use the bathroom.
I went into the facility: I open the door and immediately in front of me is one toilet, to the left on the same wall as the toilet is one sink, and the opposite wall from that is the free standing garbage can. Gray floors and walls complete the picture, well almost. Plain, but clean. Its all that I ask for and more.
really.
In the process of things, I turn 1.5 feet to my right and locate the sink. After washing and drying my hands, I navigate 2 feet behind me and toss the paper towel into the garbage can.
Now I'm stumped. How do I find my way out of the 5X6 foot bathroom? I must have left my compass in my other bag when I switched out purses. Drats. I find no secret portal in the waste can. The sink drain appears not big enough to squeeze my 5'9" frame into. I contemplate flushing myself down the toilet, but think the better of it.
I spin around a few times until I look directly up, and notice the EXIT sign in the small 3.5 wall room (1/2 of one wall is taken up by the door I came in with).
Oh the door, yes.. thats how I should proceed to get back out. I am grateful that there was an EXIT sign lit up to show me the way. heh.
;)
I really don't think I have noticed this anywhere before-- fire codes and all. Really-- an exit sign in a tiny bathroom??
I went into the facility: I open the door and immediately in front of me is one toilet, to the left on the same wall as the toilet is one sink, and the opposite wall from that is the free standing garbage can. Gray floors and walls complete the picture, well almost. Plain, but clean. Its all that I ask for and more.
really.
In the process of things, I turn 1.5 feet to my right and locate the sink. After washing and drying my hands, I navigate 2 feet behind me and toss the paper towel into the garbage can.
Now I'm stumped. How do I find my way out of the 5X6 foot bathroom? I must have left my compass in my other bag when I switched out purses. Drats. I find no secret portal in the waste can. The sink drain appears not big enough to squeeze my 5'9" frame into. I contemplate flushing myself down the toilet, but think the better of it.
I spin around a few times until I look directly up, and notice the EXIT sign in the small 3.5 wall room (1/2 of one wall is taken up by the door I came in with).
Oh the door, yes.. thats how I should proceed to get back out. I am grateful that there was an EXIT sign lit up to show me the way. heh.
;)
I really don't think I have noticed this anywhere before-- fire codes and all. Really-- an exit sign in a tiny bathroom??
Permalink: A_Way_Out.html
Words: 279
Location: Youngstown, NY
Category: body
04/16/07 01:34 - 36ºF - ID#38914
u can pick your friends..pick your nose
Around this time last night I was getting ready for bed. Was actually quite surprised that I made it as long as I did considering the prior nights lack of sleep.
Figured I would clean my piercing one last time before jumping into bed. Standing in the bathroom mirror, I accidentally pulled the little cork screw right out of my nose. ouch.
Tried to put it back in but without success. I was getting worried that if it didn't go back in that it will most likely be closed up by the time I am able to get to a parlor. Oh and what if I couldn't find one open on a Sunday?
1:43 am. I head a little ping sound come from my computer. I decide to go look. (e:pyrcedgrrl) had signed on to AIM. I tell her of my late night mishap. Having plenty of prior experience (hence the user name) she provided me instruction, which I went and tried to follow to no avail. Her next set of instructions basically went something along the lines of "sit down, put ice on your nose and I'll be over".
She drives out to my house some 20 minutes away in the middle of the night to help get the jewelry back in place.
I'm sitting on the couch when she walks in. She heads straight to the bathroom with a small package. In the door way, I see her snap on a pair of latex gloves. I crack up over this sight and over the hilarity of the situation. I proceed to follow her into the bathroom, where I lean up against the counter and close my eyes- prepping myself for pain. I know I am in good hands as my friend sticks her finger up my nose. All I could think of is some phrase about, "you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friends nose".. and I thought, well that boundary was just broken. lol
mind you, she is an ex piercer. she knows her stuff and in just moments she had the little gold corkscrew back in place. My nose just slightly tending much like a week ago when it was originally pierced.
I was all amped up after that- a combination of "matter solved" and the extended amount of time since I last slept. We continued to chat for awhile before she headed back out.
Two packs of gum were temporary payment :)
I finally fell asleep around 5am and slept till noon. Then slept on and off all day, since I still felt entirely out-of-it.
Going to try to go to bed again- and get back to normal tomorrow, whatever that is ;)
Figured I would clean my piercing one last time before jumping into bed. Standing in the bathroom mirror, I accidentally pulled the little cork screw right out of my nose. ouch.
Tried to put it back in but without success. I was getting worried that if it didn't go back in that it will most likely be closed up by the time I am able to get to a parlor. Oh and what if I couldn't find one open on a Sunday?
1:43 am. I head a little ping sound come from my computer. I decide to go look. (e:pyrcedgrrl) had signed on to AIM. I tell her of my late night mishap. Having plenty of prior experience (hence the user name) she provided me instruction, which I went and tried to follow to no avail. Her next set of instructions basically went something along the lines of "sit down, put ice on your nose and I'll be over".
She drives out to my house some 20 minutes away in the middle of the night to help get the jewelry back in place.
I'm sitting on the couch when she walks in. She heads straight to the bathroom with a small package. In the door way, I see her snap on a pair of latex gloves. I crack up over this sight and over the hilarity of the situation. I proceed to follow her into the bathroom, where I lean up against the counter and close my eyes- prepping myself for pain. I know I am in good hands as my friend sticks her finger up my nose. All I could think of is some phrase about, "you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friends nose".. and I thought, well that boundary was just broken. lol
mind you, she is an ex piercer. she knows her stuff and in just moments she had the little gold corkscrew back in place. My nose just slightly tending much like a week ago when it was originally pierced.
I was all amped up after that- a combination of "matter solved" and the extended amount of time since I last slept. We continued to chat for awhile before she headed back out.
Two packs of gum were temporary payment :)
I finally fell asleep around 5am and slept till noon. Then slept on and off all day, since I still felt entirely out-of-it.
Going to try to go to bed again- and get back to normal tomorrow, whatever that is ;)
Permalink: u_can_pick_your_friends_pick_your_nose.html
Words: 453
Location: Youngstown, NY
Category: reflection
04/14/07 09:16 - 43ºF - ID#38891
trailblazing with "new shoes"
I love how on occasion when I am severely lacking sleep I am overflowing with bouncy energy.
For whatever reason, I could not fall asleep last night. I tried around one a.m.,ut there was an ever increasing energy beginning to surge through me. I know my tax filing did not get me all riled up. Prior to that I had taken a good long walk around the city (brr!). No caffeine or other stimulants. So no good reason to be so awake and bouncy most of the night. I got up and walked around my room about an hour later- trying to be quiet so as not to disrupt the rest of the house. That didn't help after I laid back down- so I tried reading. nope. Closed my eyes and just let myself think.. knowing that I would eventually doze off.
When I finally did, a thought surfaced- 'carey you are asleep'-- so what do I do but wake up and pretty much agree with myself that yes, I was indeed asleep! Sounds like a nutty thing to do, but my sleep/dream/semi conscious state is weird. Compounded by my occasional acting out. I also tried to pull my fresh nose piercing out- I fully woke before the sting of pain came. (I'll post a pic eventually. Ive been lazy on the pic posting)
so I set my alarm for 8:30 am, having made plans late the night before. I woke 45 minutes early- (did I really ever truly fall asleep) and got out of bed bursting with energy. It was going to be an obnoxious day.
A very busy and fun day-- the kind where you are laughing so hard that a few snorts escape, double over in gut hurting giggles and other moments of random hilarity. I'm finally home (evening plans nixed, drats) and am still very ready to go.
I'm feeling rather sassy on top of it all and a bit 'anticipatory'- not sure how to explain that other than something is brewing and I like it, even if it isn't clear yet what it is.
Having recently added to my piercing and tattoo collection, I'm curious as to the whereabouts of some of my old friends who had been in the piercing/tattoo apprenticeships. I wonder if they are still into it or have their own shops etc. At the place I got my most recent tattoo, I had seen some flash artwork that looked much like the style of an old friend who i lost contact with. Actually even the name he uses was the same- so most likely is the same person? I took some info down to see if I can locate him- how fun! Its been several years, and it made me realize how much time has gone by...
.. and how much that whole atmosphere is fun, creative, energetic and lucrative. Not for me, but damn theres good money if you have the artistic skills.
I also decided that if I went for my doctorate, it would be for 'shits and giggles'. This thought came about because just prior to finishing my masters i began to really check into doctoral programs and sending them my info, transcripts, etc. Having decided that I wanted to live a bit more freely before I make such a decision, I halted the process. This past week I have heard from two of the universities again, not that I returned the phone calls. There is a lot to consider when deciding on furthering your education. For some it is for career advancement, for some it is for the challenge, for some it is for ego, for some it is for varying external expectations, for some it is for having choices, for some it is to limit choices.. so many reasons and logistics, finances, life considerations. For me, I think it would fall into the challenge category- but what an expensive way to be challenged! I have to determine what I want to do and decide if the education needed to pursue it is indeed necessary and if so, am I willing to do what I have to for it. Or are there other equally challenging, stimulating and pleasurable alternatives (i'm a hedonist). In the meantime I know that if I 'feel' it, then that is the direction I will head. If not, than I wont be worried about it. It is all my choice no matter what. As there is nothing specific I want to focus in on at this time, I will continue to further explore and experience life. I love that I can do that. I am immensely grateful to have the confidence, curiosity and faith to do so. As a free spirit, I like to try new things, come and go and experience various aspects of life. When I was full time work/full time school for several years, I loved that aspect of life. Once I decided that I needed to experience other aspects that did not fit at the time, I made decisions and actions that led me to have the opportunity to do just that. And that is where I am at right now.
I'm curious to try new things, to function outside of my own 'box' that I have been in. For a simple analogy- All of it leads to the same place, but in those travels, a change of shoes is sometimes necessary. the treads wear down, laces break, energy plummets, its more effort-ful to get to where you want to go. Along the way, new shoes are available if you allow yourself to stop and try them on. If its a good fit, the qualities of those shoes can keep you going, renew your energy, your focus returns to the scenery and not the pain in your feet. You might find that wandering off path is a welcome diversion- a chance to explore, see and experience new things- knowing that you'll reach your destination but with some interesting things along the way. When that pair wears down, another is always available. I know some people who have been wearing the same 'shoes' for their whole life- thinking that they'd rather tread in the shoes that they know well rather than break in a new pair. Choosing misery over comfort. I also know people who have realized that their old shoes hurt- and with amazing courage (and trepidation) have kicked them off to realize what an amazing feeling to stretch the toes. A new pair readily insight, it isn't long before the break-in period get them comfortably back on the trail. Hey, if they are comfy and serve you well, than keep on keeping on. If they are no longer serving you, then free those toes and try on a new pair. So go and follow the trail you are on, veer off to another path or make a whole new trail. As for me? well darlin' I love new shoes ;) and I love to explore!
And so, with an assortment of "shoes" to try on, I also check out the details of the trail. I've been heading in one direction, so why not go off and explore another.
As I try new things, expose myself to new people, situations, activities- I'll naturally gravitate toward whatever holds a common theme. There are projects that I have worked on in the recent and far past that I want to continue with- parts that have felt scattered- and I deeply wish to make great strides with them and have something to show for it. Perhaps that will be something to amp up my efforts on and get a clearer expectation and direction from those that are involved as well. I may be a free spirit, get bored rather easily- but my commitment is solid once I make that decision. And I love to see things through to fruition. I love the excitement, energy and challenge of building something I believe in- especially working with others- bouncing ideas, follow through, bringing our strengths to the table, making it work.. There is so much going on in life- I choose to enjoy it as much as I possibly can on as many levels as I possibly can.
life is a really cool thing!
For whatever reason, I could not fall asleep last night. I tried around one a.m.,ut there was an ever increasing energy beginning to surge through me. I know my tax filing did not get me all riled up. Prior to that I had taken a good long walk around the city (brr!). No caffeine or other stimulants. So no good reason to be so awake and bouncy most of the night. I got up and walked around my room about an hour later- trying to be quiet so as not to disrupt the rest of the house. That didn't help after I laid back down- so I tried reading. nope. Closed my eyes and just let myself think.. knowing that I would eventually doze off.
When I finally did, a thought surfaced- 'carey you are asleep'-- so what do I do but wake up and pretty much agree with myself that yes, I was indeed asleep! Sounds like a nutty thing to do, but my sleep/dream/semi conscious state is weird. Compounded by my occasional acting out. I also tried to pull my fresh nose piercing out- I fully woke before the sting of pain came. (I'll post a pic eventually. Ive been lazy on the pic posting)
so I set my alarm for 8:30 am, having made plans late the night before. I woke 45 minutes early- (did I really ever truly fall asleep) and got out of bed bursting with energy. It was going to be an obnoxious day.
A very busy and fun day-- the kind where you are laughing so hard that a few snorts escape, double over in gut hurting giggles and other moments of random hilarity. I'm finally home (evening plans nixed, drats) and am still very ready to go.
I'm feeling rather sassy on top of it all and a bit 'anticipatory'- not sure how to explain that other than something is brewing and I like it, even if it isn't clear yet what it is.
Having recently added to my piercing and tattoo collection, I'm curious as to the whereabouts of some of my old friends who had been in the piercing/tattoo apprenticeships. I wonder if they are still into it or have their own shops etc. At the place I got my most recent tattoo, I had seen some flash artwork that looked much like the style of an old friend who i lost contact with. Actually even the name he uses was the same- so most likely is the same person? I took some info down to see if I can locate him- how fun! Its been several years, and it made me realize how much time has gone by...
.. and how much that whole atmosphere is fun, creative, energetic and lucrative. Not for me, but damn theres good money if you have the artistic skills.
I also decided that if I went for my doctorate, it would be for 'shits and giggles'. This thought came about because just prior to finishing my masters i began to really check into doctoral programs and sending them my info, transcripts, etc. Having decided that I wanted to live a bit more freely before I make such a decision, I halted the process. This past week I have heard from two of the universities again, not that I returned the phone calls. There is a lot to consider when deciding on furthering your education. For some it is for career advancement, for some it is for the challenge, for some it is for ego, for some it is for varying external expectations, for some it is for having choices, for some it is to limit choices.. so many reasons and logistics, finances, life considerations. For me, I think it would fall into the challenge category- but what an expensive way to be challenged! I have to determine what I want to do and decide if the education needed to pursue it is indeed necessary and if so, am I willing to do what I have to for it. Or are there other equally challenging, stimulating and pleasurable alternatives (i'm a hedonist). In the meantime I know that if I 'feel' it, then that is the direction I will head. If not, than I wont be worried about it. It is all my choice no matter what. As there is nothing specific I want to focus in on at this time, I will continue to further explore and experience life. I love that I can do that. I am immensely grateful to have the confidence, curiosity and faith to do so. As a free spirit, I like to try new things, come and go and experience various aspects of life. When I was full time work/full time school for several years, I loved that aspect of life. Once I decided that I needed to experience other aspects that did not fit at the time, I made decisions and actions that led me to have the opportunity to do just that. And that is where I am at right now.
I'm curious to try new things, to function outside of my own 'box' that I have been in. For a simple analogy- All of it leads to the same place, but in those travels, a change of shoes is sometimes necessary. the treads wear down, laces break, energy plummets, its more effort-ful to get to where you want to go. Along the way, new shoes are available if you allow yourself to stop and try them on. If its a good fit, the qualities of those shoes can keep you going, renew your energy, your focus returns to the scenery and not the pain in your feet. You might find that wandering off path is a welcome diversion- a chance to explore, see and experience new things- knowing that you'll reach your destination but with some interesting things along the way. When that pair wears down, another is always available. I know some people who have been wearing the same 'shoes' for their whole life- thinking that they'd rather tread in the shoes that they know well rather than break in a new pair. Choosing misery over comfort. I also know people who have realized that their old shoes hurt- and with amazing courage (and trepidation) have kicked them off to realize what an amazing feeling to stretch the toes. A new pair readily insight, it isn't long before the break-in period get them comfortably back on the trail. Hey, if they are comfy and serve you well, than keep on keeping on. If they are no longer serving you, then free those toes and try on a new pair. So go and follow the trail you are on, veer off to another path or make a whole new trail. As for me? well darlin' I love new shoes ;) and I love to explore!
And so, with an assortment of "shoes" to try on, I also check out the details of the trail. I've been heading in one direction, so why not go off and explore another.
As I try new things, expose myself to new people, situations, activities- I'll naturally gravitate toward whatever holds a common theme. There are projects that I have worked on in the recent and far past that I want to continue with- parts that have felt scattered- and I deeply wish to make great strides with them and have something to show for it. Perhaps that will be something to amp up my efforts on and get a clearer expectation and direction from those that are involved as well. I may be a free spirit, get bored rather easily- but my commitment is solid once I make that decision. And I love to see things through to fruition. I love the excitement, energy and challenge of building something I believe in- especially working with others- bouncing ideas, follow through, bringing our strengths to the table, making it work.. There is so much going on in life- I choose to enjoy it as much as I possibly can on as many levels as I possibly can.
life is a really cool thing!
Permalink: trailblazing_with_quot_new_shoes_quot_.html
Words: 1382
Location: Youngstown, NY
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life is a buisness... take care of your customers... ie[ friends family yourself and literally your customers in life] treat people like you want to be treated..
But other than that. a great speech. Thanks for finding it.