I hate malls.

Especially the Galleria.

I don't hate the Apple store.

But just about everywhere else. yuck.

ok, Yankee Candle isn't too horrifying, other than the collective candle odor permeates the air- making me gag, kind of like perfume; can't stand swallowing a mouthful of scent.

Malls. I think it is materialistic overload. Too much to look at, visually over-stimulating, I find myself wanting things. I find myself wanting to run away from all of the stuff. Its all meaningless stuff: one big concrete commercial drone.

So why was I there? Occasionally I need clothes. Yesterday I decided that I need to go out and look for something interview-worthy. Ofcourse I see all sorts of really cute things; and I want them. I like clothes and cute stuff. But I don't like the atmosphere, the lotion-counter guys trying to rub me down with hand lotion (even if they really are super cute and just trying to do their job), "no, my windshield is not cracked,thank you", sounds of crying babies everywhere, jacked up price tags, and sooo many people wandering around, making a day of being at the mall.

Maybe you like the mall, maybe you love to shop. I have friends and co workers who do it all the time. I don't partake. Sometimes I am dragged out, sometimes I go out of necessity-- but its a rare thing. In these cases, I prefer any one of the big boxes. Limited choices, cheaper prices (no matter where you purchase goods, its all 'cheap', atleast some places reflect the price) and it is easy to get in and out of those places.

I went to all sorts of other places before conceding to the fact that I would need to make it out to a mall.

And so I did.

I found what I needed, but it took awhile. I was about to leave when I suddenly felt worn out. I realized that I had not eaten since morning, and it was now after 4pm. My exit was right near a pretzel kiosk. I wish I had a video of the guy behind the counter. He was very straight faced, not helpful at all, I had to get him to talk by asking questions. It was very strange.. after he took care of me, he proceeeded to act in the same mammer with the next individual in line. I just started laughing uncontrollably.. it was something out of Seinfeld.

By the time I returned home, I was beat. Brick apartment was freakin' hot. I went into my bedroom to change into more comfy-cool clothes. I took off my shirt, sat on my bed and instantly fell back and dozed off. At least the fan was blowing.

Mall residue will do that to you.

Now.. if anyone wants to take an excursion into a book store or computer store (or any electonic gadget store), I would go without a fight. There are a few other places I don't mind venturing into, but I am not much into shopping of for the sake of shopping.

Other stuff:

• Corn is good right now. I ate plenty of it with butter (well, Smart Balance) infused with my Dill, yay!

• I am also on an Avacado kick. I get obsessed with one food and eat if for a few days. Cucumber and avacado sandwhich is it right now.

I think my oddest food obsession was sauercrout- ate that for a week straight. And its not like I even *really* like the food.

• Resume is done. Well, atleast for a few things I am thinking about. I will need to revamp it for everything I go for. It took me all day to figure out what I wanted on there. I think it could still use some serious tweaking.

• Three more weeks of insanity, I mean school to go. Actually, I want to be done with a project early if I can.

Time for bed.. good night everyone :)

Have some school related appointments today, so I had to take a full day off from work. Not too terribly upset over this, as I was able to sleep in.

Now I sit on my couch, feet propped up on the coffee table, drinking mint tea (hot),and finishing off a bowl of oatmeal with blueberries,

and I stare at a blank Word document. One minute, ten minutes, almost an hour passes. Nothing.

I am working on my resume. eek.

Mark this moment in time, theecarey has writers block, of the sort.

I need to leave again shortly-- I want to have made some progress on this. Later, I need to tackle a school project, so come on brain cells- fire up already!!!

On to other stuff:

When school is done, in three weeks, I want to go somewhere.

I would like to go off into the woods and just chill out for a few days- decompress, refresh and get ready for new adventures. Read a book (for fun), watch the flames of a bon fire, breathe in fresh air- and not think too hard about anything.

Although strangely, I am most likely doing the complete opposite. A trip to NYC is in the works. I just need to confirm that I will have a place to stay.

I'll plan to play in the woods during the fall, that is my favorite time anyways.

However, I do want to take atleast one more trip.. just not sure where.

Alright.. back to this resume business.

"The power of the mind to create and recreate, to make something into a reality is amazing" (e:dimartiste,51)

exactly.

Anything is possible, if you want it bad enough.

Breathe it, smell it, taste it, feel it, try it on for size.. make it yours and it will be..

but you need to want it bad enough..

You need to know where you've been and where you want to go..

see it in your mind and heart.. close your eyes and SEE it. Use your senses.. BE it.

Make it yours.

When you want something bad enough, you understand that it is a process.. things change, direction turns, the end result may be different than what you first visualized..

or it may be exactly what you want..

either way, it is your passion, drive, intellect, and unwavering belief and confidence in yourself that will get you to where you want to go.. get you to just where you need to be.

Anything is possible...

Nothing is impossible.

I used to call it Brain Poo (C)- those posts created after digesting thoughts, information, ideas and observations of no significant value OR as the condensed end product of something that I had been thinking about that was worthwhile, but did not have the ambition to write it out.

Posts as of late are more of a Mental Sloughing (C); just getting rid of the ridiculous thoughts and observations NOW, so I can have a fresh brain for more significant writing matters (ie school and other responsibilities). I look back on these entries and think, what the heck am I writing about and why?

So, earler today I was comparing the difference between AOL instant messenger and Yahoo! Messenger. It isn't a secret that I prefer Yahoo! to most everything: email, search engine, messenger, beta testing, pictures etc. I have both YM and AIM. Yet I primarily use AIM, because most everyone I know uses AIM/AOL. But I think AIM is sub par to other messengers.

For example, YM saves messages sent to you while you were 'away'. Very nice, seeing as I often have my away message up and there have been plenty of times that I come home to find that somehow my computer shut down or shut off AIM-- therefor losing any messages. Ofcourse, if it is important, most people would know to call or send an email. But often there are just 'in the moment' fun messages that would not warrant bothering with an email.. and you want them.. simple amusement.

Anyway, I have pretty much figured out a way to keep AIM going strong all day long (even though everyone should switch to YM!). The funny thing is, is that I have friends that have thought I was home from work as my 'movement' on AIM would vary from 'away' to 'idle' to 'no longer idle'-- and this even in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping. Perhaps I use the computer in my sleep. I almost wouldnt doubt it! So, whats going on here? I live alone, my doors are locked so there is no one coming and going or using my computer at any point during the day/night. The only ones home are my two kitties-- and I doubt they would be surfing the net, right??

Then I mused over the thought of Joey being online, looking at Kitty Porn. My cat Joe is a character, that is why he makes a regular appearance in my posts. My furry Mosquito Slayer is always getting into trouble and making me laugh. He has a sister, Kayla. She is super sweet and usually only gets into trouble when her brother leads her into it. Atleast that is what I always thought.

Little did I know, that when I left earlier today (and returned shortly after) that the mystery surrounding my phantom AIM use would be solved:



(does not know I see her..)


uh oh


Busted.

Now sure who she was chatting with.. ;)


later, I caught Joe sitting in front of the compuer as well, but I think he was innocently intrigued by the default windows screen saver.




I'm nuts-- need ot get out again this weekend. I am debating on whether to be naughty or behave myself...

Maybe I will have it figured out by the time I finish my glass of wine

Night peeps, be well.

Was highly encouraged to go to Caputis after class to meet up with a slew of friends from work. Im there now. Two Heineken darks later and I am ready to go. Noone will allow me to misbehave! Word of caution, don't dare me to do anything you don't really want me to do! I've made history with some of the pranks I've pulled! (or been dared to do...) Friends were reminiscing over one in particular. Sometimes it fun to hear the same story over and over.
I also didn't ming the crazy welcome I received walking in the door. Happy faces, enthusiastic cheers of "CAREY!!!!!!!!" and someone giving me cake. Notr even sure who it was, haha. hmm Jim Steak Out is across the street.... and Mighty Taco is a few blocks aways.. mmmmmmm mighty taco.. migthy tasty.. I am there...


later:
It was a very interesting day. I think I will keep it to myself for now. Its all too deep for me to write about.

Its good to be home. I am so tired, as it was a long day and I am running on 5 hours of sleep. I finished my portfolio and can now focus on the last few school projects.

three weeks to go...

I just climbed into bed-- snuggled into my pillows and Bob (stuffed turtle), tired but not quite ready for sleep. With Sun Tzu's The ARt of War in one hand, and the tv channel set to South Park.. I am thinking this is a quirky combination; but thats me. WOnder what my dreams will be like tonight???

Commercial: "Im always up for a good time, and I get it on Hardline" haha Its about damn time!!! Late night tv is usually replete with telephone sex ads featuring girls. Now the commercials are all half naked men. right on!

I need sleep..

but first, a chapter in The Art of War and the remainder of the Baby Cow episode of South Park. "if you don't eat meat, you break out into vaginas" what??? haha


Good night and Happy Friday :)

oh my goodness

crunch time tonight.

I am finishing my Portfolio tonight; it must be handed in tomorrow.

I have section one completed-- select individual assignments from each class, cover sheet, table of contents, etc etc etc All of it took a lot longer than I planned on. Its taken days.. But that part is done and looks damn good.

I am still working on section two-- the paper. I am taking a very personal approach to it. I have a list of deliverables, which I will address, but I am exerting my creative flair. I am integrating a certain level of personal honesty and reflection to this section that would require it to be written in more lay terms for it to be done justice. Section One is full of specifics and the Masters language. I am making section two alll about me. Will it fly? Not sure.. but that is the approach I have decided to take.

Maybe I will even put in a plug for (e:strip), seeing as it has been my experimental public blog--initially written in for the purpose to see if I can be more 'open'. There were many 'tools' involved, but this mean has some of it chronicled.

Without going into it at this time.. I used to be very reserved-- it was difficult to pry anything out of me.

skip to--> you've read my posts, haha. I am not an open book, but I seem to write them on occasion. Before, that would be kept stricly to my personal paper journal. The craziest and juiciest of it all still goes in there..

Maybe one day I will trascribe ALL OF IT and make it publicly available. Word count will shoot up a few million..

eek.. one step at a time Carey. baby steps...

Anyway, this post may not make any sense. I am rambling yet am trying to clear my head for the next round of writing. I have already hit my page minimum, um, 4 pages ago... but my segue into the topic went on for pages and pages. I am telling a bit of a story before I get to the meat of the paper. It is relevant.. but I need to wrap it up soon. Its late, I am tired.. Thursdays are super long for me... but I have to keep going. Its due tomorrow.

And I havent procrastinated.. it has all just taken a lot of time.

3.5 weeks to go...

Then what?

:)

Feeling lazy and kinda hot. Dishes are dirty and I have too much to do to be bothered with taking time to cook. So, I declare that I don't intend to cook anything today; although if I were, it would be something from the scrumptious list of dill recipes (e:theecarey,221) provided by the following thoughtful (e:peeps):

(e:ladycroft)-- I never thought to just toss a bit on top of just about anything. I have some experimenting to do. And yes, ofcourse I will share!! :)

(e:zobar) --I love tzatziki! HAHA, that is my kind of recipe! If I throw this and that together it will form this.. I can follow that logic. Tzatziki, here I come..

But if I really want it to turn into tzatziki, maybe I will try the detailed recipe route. I have learned that not all of my creations or 'very loosely followed' recipes turn out spectacula..or edible. Thanks (e:dragonlady7) :) btw, I feel kinda silly asking.. but how do I start a new crop of dill? I think mine has gone to seed (thats where the flowery things are on top, right?).. and I have plenty of room to grow more if I know what I am doing.

(e:leetee) hmmmm dill butter sounds good. I think I could handle that. ooh, especially with corn season..

(e:pyrcedgrrl) failed to mention that the Noodle Recipe is all that she thinks I can aspire to. "I thought you might try the noodles.. how bad can you fuck up noodles??" heh.. I am quite capable of fucking up anything in the kitchen, pardon my language. Ive burned, melted and exploded cookware. And annihilated food.

Maybe I'll try making the butter first ;)

oh Daaannnnnnnaaaaaaaaa, I have two eggplants in my fridge, waiting for you to come over and make babaganoush.. its been almost a year.....

So, thank you very much, peeps! I appreciate the time all of you took to help me out, as (e:mrmike) said, in the great pickle I found myself in. har har.

I recall making pickles as a kid. Didnt have anything like a dill-crock as (e:jenks) mentioned. We made them from home grown cukes and sliced them up with the herbs and other seasonings before tossing them into the freezer. Now I need to ask my mom about the recipe.

My herbs are growing really well; they are not cooking in this heat yet. Basil smells so good, as does the lavender and lemon balm. I love the mint as well-- it makes my nose tingle.

(e:libertad) , which herbs are your bunny's favorite?

I have basil, lemon basil, oregeno, parsley, sage, dill, lavender, rosemary, thyme, mint, ornage mint, chocolate-orange mint, spearmint, catnip (?? stuff I made mojitos with, haha), stevia, maybe more..

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH! Friday night (e:pyrcedgrrl) and I stopped at Wegmans. We raided the produce aisle and looky what I found, to my delight and to the confusion of other shoppers:







(WIKIPEDIA - Lychee)


Lychee nuts. Juicy!

(e:ladycroft) and I scoured New York state last year looking for these damn fruits. Nice that we can finally buy fresh ones..

Got a few stories here..

Friday evening theme: If you build it, they will come. Or.. if you set chairs around the table you are sitting at, (e:peeps) (and others) will come. Gorgeous night, good company and conversation. Just what I needed.. yay!

Saturday: drove out to a beach party out on Erie lake in Chautauqua county-- Irving, I think, --not Cattaraugus county as (e:mrmike) informed me :) Stayed for a few hours-- enough to say hello, relax, eat and have a drink. I knew it was my time to go as the conversations were humorous only to those that were drunk. I had no intentions of drinking, so I headed out.

I went straight into Buffalo with the plan to sit at Spot with my schoolbooks (I figured that I have been doing so well staying focused that it just might be possible to actually do school work at Spot). Right after I parked, I turned the car back on and headed out to see (e:kangarooboi,31) at his temporary abode on the Boulevard. He wouldnt allow me to set a fire in the room to see if the sprinkler system worked. It was hot in there.. but thats what happens when you set the temperature contol to "low warm" and not "low cool" haha



For the record, I am no longer a Crackhead Barrel virgin.

rather, Cracker Barrel. I think Crackhead Barrel is more fitting. I want their french toast RIGHT NOW. There were millions of people waiting to get in to eat. The food is homey and I imagine that it would be perfect the day after a night of insane debauchery.


This game stressed me out. I was an 'eg-nor-amoose' more than a few times. Might have been a 'genius' once, not sure.. It was more fun to try to see how many golf-tee's we could keep in the wooden block.


While (e:kangarooboi) and I waited to be seated (which didn't take long at all), we walked around their country store- full of chotchsky and candy. Oh, and clothes.

And this: Baby Devil Dolls!!!!





who'd play with something like that???? I think those horns were actually molded to be little pony tails. They look like horns to me.

• shiver* things that nightmares are made of.

We had just been talking about scary stuff. I admit to fearing:

clowns-- you love them!








spiders..






eek! a horde of babies. Something about a pile of babies does not warm my heart. weird? I don't care..







this kind of monkey freaks me out..




e! ew! ew!

I must get those images out of my head before bed..
oh, I know!!
one more little story..

Got a sweet tooth, honey??

It isn't unusual for me to come home from work with gummie bears, smarties, pieces of pretel and other candy variations in my pocket. Usually the confections are kept in a sandwhich bag and carried around throughout the work day as an easily delivered positive reinforcer for behavior modification purposes.

Different kids like different things, so there is usually a mix of candy in the baggie. I saw a bunch of round candies in the bag and took them to be all Skittles-- a favorite among a majority of the kiddos. I began to empty the bag into the garbage when I saw that there was some chocolate bits in there as well. Upon closer inspection, I realized I have a baggie of Skittles and M&M's

so??


Well, to my amusement, I then realized that I have a bag of
S & M's.. hahaha







Now its time for bed..

Here's to a happy Monday, everyone!

~carey

My little break is over... I gave/allowed/forced myself to take a break from all school related projects and thinking. It was at times hard not to think about it, and quite a few times I felt out of place, as I have become accustomed to working steadily at everything. It just felt weird to stop, not have a book in front of me, computer turned off and miles away and not doing anything productive.

blahblahblah
blahblah

blah

so I must get back to it shortly.

ick, there is a family issue to contend with before I get into a little house cleaning-paper writing. I think I dreampt about it last night. More about that mess later...

I have a few pics to post later as well. I'll post a pic of the devil babydoll I saw. *shiver*

clowns, spider monkeys, spiders and babies are scary.

what going on tonight? im in cattaragous county on lake erie i plan to leaue 7-8 ish text-call (deleted)