If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can get going without pep pills,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,



If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

...Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!

I've never been a fan of automatic deduction from your bank account, despite all the many groups that love it. You never exactly when something is going to drop. You have religiously watch when things fall and register. Tracking netflix payments alone make my rapidly aging head hurt. You forget something you can be screwed. I completely forgot about my New York Flash pass--when you go over, it helps itself to reload, but never tells you when this happens. All the trips on the Penn Turnpike for the Inaugural came home to roost, yesterday, when I thought I had just barely enough room for things to post. Turns out I had no room. In essence, some bon mots from my folks went to bank charges which is not what you want to spend birthday money on. So, the tax return is going to be fun to compensate to make up for it. Aargh.....

Another commercial shoot at work yesterday. They don't require much out of me, but are exhausting anyway. This one featured my boss and by the fourth setup, she was getting full for the process, but sold the place like a trooper. Took them an hour to pack up, which was about 90 minutes past when my morning cereal gave out. My stomach was speaking yiddish by the time the six hour shoot was done. All hail, Joe's Deli (for the cookies alone) for being open when they were.

It's part of my job to take meetings largely for the sake of taking the meeting. Being a shameless bastard, when a quality lunch is offered, I'll go for the free food and hear the pitch for my ad dollars killing two birds with one stone. All the area account reps are thinking in similarly arranged areas. One of the tv folk took me to Merge which was really good last week. I'm rooting for the restaurant as everything seemed to be of great quality, right on down to the strawberry chocolate cheesecake. They have a slew of vegan, and gluten free options which should give them a chance. Today, I got taken to Chris's Deli which has always been really good. They make a really good turkey wrap which would have been better had I had better company, but he paid the tab, so I did a passable job of listening about what advertising with him could help my business. "Really, Bob, (chew, chew) That's fascinating, tell me more (Bite, chew, chew)." He did, Tool. It was like having lunch with Henry Blake. I wanted to smack him upside the head, but he was so botoxed I thought a prize might fall out.

It's a little scary who you can "bump" into via Facebook. My Dad launched a page this week and is filling his status with such observations like "just spotted a pot hole so large that there was an Indian Casino behind built at the bottom." Ain't technology grand? I told him to "friend" the daughters -- that will spook em good. I'm quietly very evil.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes. You guys are the best peeps in all of explored space. It was pretty low profile, a little cake, sleepin in, a little brunch, even went to class on Sunday to exercise since as (e:drew) pointed out I'm looking my age.

Don't feel it though, so I guess that is good. It was nice that for once it wasn't colder than whaleshite on my birthday. Seems only appropriate since it has been for most of the past month. Busting one of my free airline tickets loose in April for a long Florida weekend. I won't be drinking anything with umbrellas floating in them, but it will be nice to know that they are nearby.

Let's be careful out there.

From an email marked "Fail?" came these jocularity laden images











































That's comedy, have a good weekend, ya'all

What can I say? I work in a decent place for cute pictures. I found this one still in my camera from last week and thought I'd share. My offering estrip a nice warm fuzzy.

This is a cool gig to have a little extra access. Check it out.




Considering it was 5 degrees out when I took it, you can safely say she was just chillin'.

There I said it, and I don't regret it. Well, maybe a little.

Trying to inject some fun into my day, here's a couple of cute giraffe shots of the new baby from this morning. Somewhere somebody has their knickers in a knot over the naming of this first born daughter to the first born daughter. So, I've been getting "those" types of phone calls. Those don't bother so much, but it wasn't my idea.





All together, "awww"

Had a great conversation the other day with a woman close to my own age and for a second or so, I had room for optimism. She's a nurse and told me to check back with her Monday when she got her schedule for the next month. She'd be able to figure out when we could get together for the first time.

I called and got a "have to go" response, which was fairly understandable. Not every employer is cool about that stuff, she might have some actual important thing that needed done. I felt bad because I caught her at a potentially bad time. So, after unnecessarily beating myself up, I wrote an apology for the intrusion.

It's gone unanswered. Left a message, gone unanswered. Got a feeling I should just leave it there. Did I screw that up before it even got off the ground? Or should I just shut up and be patient.

Stuff like that can color your whole day.

I don't know why this stuff can permeate you so, except for the fact I'm a sucker for a pretty face and (e:imk2) tagged me and well, you know. So, just what you weren't waiting for:


1. I still dream about what life would have been like had my brothers been born without their disabilities.

2. I know a lot about a lot of things, just none of it is terrifically financially rewarding.

3. Despite being able to professionally fake sincerity, I am pretty socially inept.

4. I 've spent far too long worrying about what other people might be thinking. That only made me unhappy and it took way too long to get comfortable in my own skin.

5. I used to read way too much, now I worry that I'm not reading enough.

6. I liked "old man" bars long before I started becoming one.

7. I want to shave my beard off, but I'm afraid of what my chin might look like after 20 years (and that there is still just one there).

8. Been working since I was 15 and finally got a job that I like.

9. Bright eyes and a killer smile will make me stop in my tracks, although I sometimes wish I was twenty pounds lighter and 6 to 7 years younger.

10. I used to put stock in retail therapy, but the euphoria is quick to end and ultimately didn't make me happy in the first place.

11. I'm proud that I dealt with an illness and kicked it on my own. Not that there wasn't help available, but my inner control freak wanted to smack Bell's Palsy around on my terms.

12. MRIs made me realize that I'm a bit claustraphobic.

13. I know the difference between red and white wine glasses, but still prefer a well-poured good beer.

14. I listen to all kinds of music all but there is a regular cadre of people I regularly gravitate back to.

15. I write for a living so I know Number 14 ended grammatically incorrectly, so shaddup.

16. I am enticed and afraid of heights at the same time.

17. I want to see and experience more of everything instead of worrying about the petty shit that keeps me back.

18. I want everybody who gave my former spouse and I shit for the end of our marriage to fuck off already. She never deserved it and I might have, but not for that

19. I love motorcycles but I think my skills are best left to a Vespa instead of a Harley.

20. I still fantasize/dream.

21. I miss my Dad-in-law because he was such an unapologetic booster. He was one of those types where five minutes into your first conversation with him he'd be looking for "Ways to help you shine."

22. I'm too self conscious to dance very well.

23. I drink and I mellow. Most irish guys get more cantankerous. Not me, I just chill and enjoy the arguments among the other drinkers. Anything else is too much work.

24. I'm pretty proud of the paths my kids are on. They have the ability to make me nuts, but I think they are on the right road. I like to think I had something to do with that.

25. I make mistakes, lots of them, in glorious fashion, yet the world keeps turning.

Baby photos of cute animals. Works like a charm.



A nineteen day old baby giraffe named Melia charmed the socks of all three tv news organizations and our daily periodical. At a young age, she was walking within an hour of birth and was quite taken with the attention from the tv cameras.

It's a good day when you can tell your boss that you are helping the Giraffes meet the media with a straight face and be taken seriously.

A little girl asked her mother: 'How did the human race appear?'The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve;they had children; and so was all mankind made.'Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'The confused girl returned to her mother and said,'Mum, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'The mother answered, 'Well, Dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family, and your father told you about his.'

So, went with the ex-wife and kids to the inauguration. We had talked, given the kids racial makeup that it would be a good thing for them to see it all upclose. It should be noted that the ex has an aunt who lives in a spacious brownstone in the Dupont Circle area of DC which made this whole notion feasible. I was a little concerned about crowds. The girls are starting to get tough as far as that is concerned, but number one son at ten is still learning. But we made the arrangments with the aunt (who was positively giddy at our whirlwind tour) and Monday morning, off we went.

After caffinating at Spot, we headed into the snow where for the next seven hours, I kept wondering about the true level of brilliance to this whole concept. We took the Pennsylvania Turnpike and ran into a hour's delay for an accident there that involved a flamed out tractor trailer. Got on 270 headed toward dc to see one of the most dramatic accident scenes I've ever witnessed. Picture Delaware from Gates Circle through the S curve covered in emergency vehicles. It's snowing, blowing, a dark curvey highway. I'm driving with my entire body at that point. We made it to DC by 8, ecstatic that temps were in the 30s, we were done driving and that my uncle in law bought me beer.

Tuesday was one for the ages. Setting the candidate aside for a second, the atmosphere was one I think anybody could appreciate. We didn't get crazy and with 240,000 ticket holders, there was no point in trying for proximity. We got a map from that morning's Washington post and hiked down 16th street, where it wasn't too long before you ran into the curbside capitalists. I purchased a button for the occasion. 16th does run into the Mall, but it was a ticketed area, so we went up I street which had so many vendors it was Obamastock. Given the amount of people, everybody was very nice, celebratory. Without trying we wound up moving past St. Johns Church about an hour after the Presidental prayer service finished. Instead of following the throngs, we walked down 19th street, which send you past the Dept of Interior building (who decorates?) and down toward the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool area. For the unitiated, this places you just on the other side of the Washington Monument. We arrived there about 11:45 and found a ridge overlooking the reflecting pool masses and their portapottys.

Got there and saw the speech (kind of ordinary), enjoyed Aretha and her hat for the ages. With the staggered sound system, the delay sounded like she had her own backup singers. What they don't show you on tv is instances like when that god-awful poem was read, our section disappated. Kids were chilly so we headed out.

Watched a little tv back out the house and the network tv coverage pretty much sucked univerally. CNN was too absorbed in their digital mosaic of "The Moment" and their satelite shots. MSNBC was too up the new President's tuckus to be of any use and FOX was still trying to extricate itself from the former President's. DC does have its own news channel (not beholding to any cable company) that actually was pretty useful. When there was nothing to say, they did the amazing thing and shut up Kids were whipped but my uncle and I took a stroll down to see the first part of the parade (largely so I could say I did--as after the president goes by, luster goes down hill in a hurry). I saw the new ride, nice car and called it a day. I have some pictures on my facebook page, but I won't repeat them here as they aren't that great.

What stuck with me was the overall vibe in the city. DC isn't as intense as New York, but it does have its own mindset. There are definitely two towns in one. The drive home was problem free. It was sunny, roads were clear, no troubles till we got to Buffalo where everything turned grey & depressing looking.

I think I'm done now, but it was a good thing for the kids to see