out of me.

There is a danger in ringtones my friends. Among my current ring tones is Bob Dylan's "Rainy Day Women 12 & 35." You know the song ...."Everybody Must Get Stoned..." That's me, got to be a little different. However, being a user of all EStrip has to offer, the post-its send a text to my cell phone and fire off a ringer to let me know I got mail.

No big deal, but last night round midnight, I shut the lights off and reclined in the silence. Outside was still, quiet inside as well. You could feel nice sleep getting ready to wrap you gently and then "EVERYBODY MUST GET STONED!" Nearly fell out of bed, groping for the phone, expecting to see a relative calling, turned out it was Guest telling me to "Be at the Party or ELSE!"

Fridays are tough with the kids and whatnot, but I'm workin on it. Saturday, however, I'm in, guest

I had my crappy lil camera with me last weekend in NYC and promptly forgot all about it. No great loss, since we all know what it looks like there. The bulk of (e:strip) seems to have some familarity. It didn't take me long to resume my almost twenty year old death stare for "don't fuck with me" walking. The following images were all we bothered with. The inside shots were attempts at the Natural History Museum. The whale is camera shy. The rest were some rooftop shots taken of Manhattan from where we were in Brooklyn, plus one nice one of my child saying bye to her new playground

This is a little old, but after the past day or two at work, it made me laugh....enjoy

The Value of a Good Drink

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams .. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra and panties
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not

Travel is good. Nothing a long weekend doing all the fun stuff in Manhattan and Brooklyn to guarantee a little renewal. Getting to see it again was a lot of fun. My daughter and I Jet Blue'ed it into Kennedy on Thursday night and met up with family at Sal's Pizzeria in Brooklyn for a snack.

Friday, I got to renew a long familar acquaintance with the stink that is Canal St & Chinatown. I can only imagine the fumes on a hot day. We meandered up there into SoHo, stopping at all the groovy places along the way (and there were many). Lunch at Two Boots Pizza was pretty awesome and we worked our way uptown. After cruising through midtown, we worked our way into Chelsea for a dinner with my older sister at Chelsea Restaurante. My sister is a minor celeb there as she's lived in the neighborhood for quite awhile and I think is also a pretty big tipper. You eat wonderfully there.

Saturday was more of the same. After being unabashed consumers on Friday, we tempered that a little with a trip to the Natural History Museum. Had to see the whale. The trip up town was marred by the whiniest cab driver I've ever had in NYC. All the street festivals going on had him crying the blues. Despite his pissing and moaning, it was kind of cool to sneak in behind Grand Central on our way uptown. I tried taking pictures of the "Whale" but I don't think they came out okay.

I've gotten kind of blase about celebrity sightings over the years, but my darling daughter was clearly taken sharing a row with Oprah, running into Richard Belzer on 43rd st, and having Teddy Geiger say excuse me to her as he went by at JFK yesterday.

The picture I wish I would have gotten was the gonga line of planes out the window yesterday. The tower had everybody doing a series of u turns to get to the big runway. At one point, you could see a series of 15 planes of all sizes jockeying for space, sort of fun and intimidating to see in the twilight. Guess I'm a dork that way.

A fine time, just what the doctor ordered.............

My remote post, live from not so colonial Williamsburg. I've been playing tour guide/fellow tourist with my eldest daughter in New York, We've been bunking with my younger sister in the Williamsburg Section of Brooklyn. Weather has been rather blech, but that hasn't stopped fortune from smiling in the right way.

My darling child went off to see The Color Purple last night and sat near Oprah, who happened to be there checking on her latest investment. From Canal st to the east and West Village to mid town to the parks (Central and Washington Square), she got a good intro in fun as a carefree Manhattanite.

(e:Hodown) is right on the money about the Mac Store. Full of posers, but I had a good time compiling a mental wish list anyway.

While my child was getting cultured in Time Square, my future brother-in-law and I repaired to a truly unique place in Brooklyn, a joint called Barcade, lots of good local brew and the joint is lined with vdeio games from the 80s. I can still rock Super Mario Bros.

Wee-HooOO!! A breather in the nonsense. By this time tomorrow, I'll be safely in Chelsea watching the talented wait staff pour me too much Pinot Grigio with dinner.

Been too fucking long since my last breather

Seeing White House Press Secretary Tony Snow play the flute may have scarred me more than I know. Jumped the gun on Happy Hump Day wishes as many of the complaint letters at TW have been dumped in my lap. I've responded to this challenge by giving credit away like nickel candy.

Can't seem to shake one respondant. She download ez armor (the TW security package) and I think the download was corrupt. She had my number from one of my stops at other TW offices. She was understandably pissed that the program didn't work. She happened to call during the big foolishness two weeks ago and couldn't get a hold of anybody and was pissed about that. I arranged for a tech to come. He happened to be late and ignorant. Two things that are apparently my fault. Arranged for tech support to call her. She missed the calls as they tried her three times. Apparently that is my fault as well.

All this for a bad download, that needs to be dumped and replaced.

I love my job (heavy sarcasm)

My home base is changing. That would be a wholly unremarkable thing except for the first time in 11 years I won't be based in the city. My whole department is getting bumped all to the offices in West Seneca. I never logged anytime there so that will be different. When I came to this office, I joked that I was trading Shanghai Red's for Chefs. Now, I seem to be trading Chef's for Louie's Texas Red Hots. I'm thinking of taking a journey to see how far it is from the new office to Schwabl's (home of the kick ass Beef on Wick). Same shit, different day, different location.

Off to Manhattan on Thursday to hang with my siblings and to show my lovely eldest daughter NYC. My younger sister was all about the planning of the trip until she announced her wedding. She and her intended are having a thing at some resort outside of Fishkill, NY on Columbus Day. They managed to pick the weekend that West Point, Marist and some other college are all having their homecomings, so finding a place to stay will be interesting and expensive. My mom seems to like the idea of playing travel agent. I'm in the "Okay, I can't afford a vacation now, but it's family so that's what you do." Said younger sister announced that she wanted to have an unconventional ceremony and every step taken is pivoting from right out of Bride magazine. She's 38, but is planning like she is 21. Her day, I guess, but I think the expense involved is one of the reasons my youthfully 70 year old Dad accepted a three week assignment in Philly this month.

I'm a big hockey fan, but part of me wants the Sabres to quit teasing us all and pack it in. It's been a fun ride and seeing the citizens just hi-five one another is nice, but they are in over their heads. Weather wise, and Ottawa being too good wise, it is slowly turning into time to go to a Bisons game, drink a beer or two and people watch, safe in the knowledge that the game is a backdrop for some fun people watching.

Happy Hump Day, ya'all

Because the Versus network is run by Dewey, Cheatum and Howe, I thought for the benefit of tonight's Sabres game I'd offer up the following info. Tonight's Sabres game is on Versus and on Hockey Night in Canada and in HD on a network called MOJO.

Versus shares their HD feed with the party animals at the Golf Channel. If you go to Versus HD expecting to see Hockey, you'll actually be treated to a bunch of guys in Polyester pants -- not unlike clubbing in Lackawanna.

I just thought I'd offer this estrip public service announcement for the common good and in light of the fact that people will be hollering at me tomorrow about "What did you morons do about the HD?" when it wasn't us morons it was the Versus morons.

Non Hockey fans can enjoy the new Grey's Anatomy in its proper HD.

I'm having a hard time letting go of the urge to beat the shit out a music teacher. I'd never thought one would deserve it, but I now know of one who merits such treatment.

My kids school is doing an operetta, school play thingy. There is a district wide organization which helps with arts stuff in the Buffalo schools and they are overseeing this little production. I knew my daughter got involved which was great, but Number One Son tried out. He just turned 9. He and a friend went down to the "auditions." Each was sent to a group of older kids, 11 to 13 years in age. That can be intimidating in and of itself. The advisor who apparently thinks he is at fucking Julliard looked at my son and simply commanded "NEXT", giving him no instruction, no direction, just placed him on the stop. My poor boy got nervous and sort of collapsed into himself and started to cry, given that he was surrounded by no support at all which made that feeling even worse. The older kids mocked that, until my darling daughter appeared and threatened beatings all around. Lovely girl, she is capable of some intense mood swings, but upon hearing of this lioness like response, I immediately upped her allowance.

My son held it together until he got back to class until he got to his teacher and had a good cry. I'm angry because it took a little bit for all of this to get to me, but I also want to slap the shit out of the play director. If the fuckstick doesn't want to help and encourage young kids who have a genuine interest, then what the fuck is he doing working for schools. This jackass set my son and apparently 4 or 5 others kids up to fail simply because he couldn't be bothered to give a shit.

The inherent beauty of all of this is that at a school function from a couple of posts ago this weekend, I was, er, able to voice my displeasure to the school principal who had the miscreant in her office.

I believe I told her something about what kind "of a shell of a man browbeats 8 and 9 year olds for the sake of a school play."

Godfuckingdammit