the industrial area
Thank you for the restore backup button Paul! We've been having serious internet issues this week and it's hard to stay on more than 5 minutes at a time! So here's my story:
Today I was thinking about how stateside we gripe and complain about how inconvenient it is to get a car serviced. I reconsidered this as I made my way to the "industrial area". It sounds charming doesn't it? The "industrial area".
I was an industrial area virgin. I was nervous. I wasn't sure what to expect. I only knew the first step; find a human sacrifice.
You need a human sacrifice. This is the person you sucker into following you out to Timbuktu's neighbor, Bum Fuck Nowhere. You commence road combat with a few thousand cars and heavy machinery down narrow lanes of construction for about 45 minutes. You engage a series of defensive maneuvers to avert potholes, maniacs, and assholes to reach your desired desitnation. In my case, Kia.
Here you must be very brave and leave the 'security' of your vehicle. With nothing but your Spidey sense to protect you, you must navigate to the entrance on foot. Once inside you are subjected to a series of interrogations in an attempt to find 'customer service', which is heavily guarded by "sales", "replacement parts", "cashier", and "collisions".
"Customer service" is the devil's cousin. He will charm you and woo you to divert all your attention from the task at hand. He will lull you into endless conversation about the origin of your name and the presidential elections of your home country.
You must stay focused! You must negotiate a trade with "customer service": your keys for a small bit of paper. If you are successful, you embark on the same journey in reverse, if your sacrifice hasn't escaped and left you for dead.
Hours, or perhaps days later you will receive a call asking for you to exchange the bit of paper for your vehicle. This requires new tactics for gaining the trust of your human sacrifice as you need them to reach the drop point. I found food to be an incentive.
Act as quickly and efficiently as possible to make the extraction. Exchange your bit of paper and wait at the side door. When you see your vehicle coming down the line, yank the driver out and hop in while it's still rolling. This will maximize your time and avoid further seduction by "customer service".
Commence evasive maneuvers and retreat. Task completed: oil change. Time taken: 6 hours.
I can sleep well Knowing I get to look forward to this process for the next three years of my life. Yeah buddy!
Today I was thinking about how stateside we gripe and complain about how inconvenient it is to get a car serviced. I reconsidered this as I made my way to the "industrial area". It sounds charming doesn't it? The "industrial area".
I was an industrial area virgin. I was nervous. I wasn't sure what to expect. I only knew the first step; find a human sacrifice.
You need a human sacrifice. This is the person you sucker into following you out to Timbuktu's neighbor, Bum Fuck Nowhere. You commence road combat with a few thousand cars and heavy machinery down narrow lanes of construction for about 45 minutes. You engage a series of defensive maneuvers to avert potholes, maniacs, and assholes to reach your desired desitnation. In my case, Kia.
Here you must be very brave and leave the 'security' of your vehicle. With nothing but your Spidey sense to protect you, you must navigate to the entrance on foot. Once inside you are subjected to a series of interrogations in an attempt to find 'customer service', which is heavily guarded by "sales", "replacement parts", "cashier", and "collisions".
"Customer service" is the devil's cousin. He will charm you and woo you to divert all your attention from the task at hand. He will lull you into endless conversation about the origin of your name and the presidential elections of your home country.
You must stay focused! You must negotiate a trade with "customer service": your keys for a small bit of paper. If you are successful, you embark on the same journey in reverse, if your sacrifice hasn't escaped and left you for dead.
Hours, or perhaps days later you will receive a call asking for you to exchange the bit of paper for your vehicle. This requires new tactics for gaining the trust of your human sacrifice as you need them to reach the drop point. I found food to be an incentive.
Act as quickly and efficiently as possible to make the extraction. Exchange your bit of paper and wait at the side door. When you see your vehicle coming down the line, yank the driver out and hop in while it's still rolling. This will maximize your time and avoid further seduction by "customer service".
Commence evasive maneuvers and retreat. Task completed: oil change. Time taken: 6 hours.
I can sleep well Knowing I get to look forward to this process for the next three years of my life. Yeah buddy!
