Wanted to go on a very long walk up to Stella Niagara today. It's just I have too much on my mind today and I must try to sort a few things out. My evening is most likely going to consist of studying and laundry. Usually I just go and take my clothes to a local wash and fold but lately everything I send them is coming back a size smaller. If you want something done you must do it yourself. Plus I need something to do tonight and laundry is something I have not done in a while. I am so FUN and EXCITING!!!

The sun is getting dimmer. I must run out and at least walk around the neighborhood for a half hour or so. The Modest Mouse "Ocean Breaths Salty" song is in my head reminding me of last summer when I just went out burned calories and harmonized with Nature on my inline skates.

So here I am in a place in Western New York SANS Snow and I am inside on my computer. This is about to change right now. Then I will be back and try to come up with something very light to do this evening. I'm thinking a short stop at Barnes and Noble and bed by 10 PM.

For the most part it did suck. Only about 20 people were at the show, I being the only person not in the junior class in attendance in the first set. Well there was this other guy, but I'm not too sure what he was up to. Even the band was not 100% as they were all under the weather with the flu.


There were stragglers that came in later. The highlight or low-light was this guy that I knew from High School. He was probably one of the most popular people that I knew. A*M*, even Steve when we was playing noticed him walk in and said on the mic, "A*M*!!!!!!!!!!!" He was the cool guy, hiss 9 cousins were all cool and so was his older brother. Now I saw him and he is just a shell of a person.

I head a bunch of things about him through the years but now from meeting him I can say that most of them were probably true. He now works in the Dining Hall of NU. He has fallen on hard times no doubt. It is just surreal to see him remain the same way. Wearing Sports gear of the Columbia Type, oh and with an "Alternative Girlfriend" complete with blue hair and other gear that goes to the school. How much things change and how they stay the same. Seeing him just blew my mind away. All I can say is I saw a couple of traits that I had from him from years ago. Hell I looked up to this guy, now is living and smelling almost like a homeless person. I know he has a place by campus and his mom is most likely helping him out somehow, especially since his Dad passed away a few year back.

All I can say now is my speech will be much clearer from now and I will actually enunciate my words. To see him looking with his eyes down and mumbling just drove home how I am at my worst. Needless to say I was really scared shitless on some levels last night. There is a part of me that fears ending up like that somewhere. The fear of being homeless and mentally ill somewhere outside the help of anyone. Never being able to pick yourself up off the ground and reduced to harassing drunken younger adults on Allen St as they walk to the Old Pink

It just drives home to me that things that I find myself mindlessly believing in. What do I value and what is really worth caring about in this world. It seemed that I did find myself that that show last night and it was all about the music. I love Radiohead and to me it didn't care about who was there, if they served alochol and where it was. I love that band and the music. Is it irresponsible for me to care about the music when no one else goes to that level? What are the important things that I should be focusing on daily in my life?

So I am at work tonight. Not a big deal as I am usually stuck working late on Thursday. It's just tonight they have a "Make a Wish" Poker Tournament tonight prompted by 97 Rock. Every table had a former or current NHL player. I was looking at the hockey celebrity list and there is this former Sabre that lives in Youngstown. He has his daughter playing with him tonight.

Now I have seen her over playing at Fallsview with this guy who is supposedly her boyfriend. She is a fireball to say the least. Being in her early 20's the kind of games she plays in usually has a minimum of 1,000 and up to 5,000. She rolls with a serious bankroll and the guy as well. They have been accused of cheating numerous times. It hasn't been proved but there some shady things have gone on, but nothing that can bar someone or get them in trouble.

It's is just funny in that when I was a kid I used to brag about meeting this former Buffalo Sabre. Later in life I found out that he wasn't all that good. It really was one of my first personal hockey connections. Now I find out that this chick that I did admire for her fireball nature but at the same time felt dirty by observing her play is this guy's daughter. Yea things like this really rattle me.

I have tickets for a game on the 24th against Ottawa. Still have no clue on who I am going to take. It has been about 4 or 5 years since the last time I have been to a game. It may have been against Ottawa in a Playoff game. I had tickets with my buddy Eric H and we hung with Jen and Tracy Muckler. That was right after their Dad started working for the Sens. Dam that was a while ago. The last time I was in the HSBC Arena was for the MAAC Championship when Niagara went to the Big Dance last year.

Ok must try to sleep. Then I try to have my peaceful day after 3PM

You know sometimes I swear I'm invisible! :-)

Today at work I was a bit annoyed by the beads and other Fat Tuesday paraphernalia. Party time is over, it is now Ash Wednesday the beginning of this Salome thing called Lent. Where we are supposed to sacrifice and suffer for a greater glory when the Easter Bunny comes along on Easter Sunday.

I'm not Catholic anymore, Heck I ate meat for breakfast this morning! It's just some kind of deep psychological programing that still resonates within me that kicks in every once in a while. The extent of this remnants baffles me and it is driving me to really introspect lately. Do I hold on to this religious reside because I deep down I still believe or just through familiarity, indoctrination, repetition all of it still lurks in me subconsciously? The extent of my church attendance was 10 minutes during a midnight mass last December, other than that the last time was 5 years prior. Strange.

I'm heading off to see my favorite Radiohead cover band tonight.

They are playing "under the taps" on the Niagara University Campus.

In a very unusual way I really have quite a bit going on for my own life speed.

The strange part is Vegas is not at the forefront of my mind right now.

Just got back in from an hour walk and 50 sit-up's. Again I feeling a bit spaced out at the moment. Soon hopefully I'll regain my composure.

So for preparation of Fat Tuesday I took my nap as required. Supposedly I was ready to go. Then the realization that my Father needs to burn $200 Can $'s in credits at the Niagara Fallsview Casino Resort. After waking up around 6ish I head out and lure him away from the craps table to consume some good Chinese food at 17 Noir downstairs. In between the casino floor and the restaurant the thought that concert tickets would be a wise use of comp points. So he asked me what I found interesting. Looking for something soon I ended up choosing to see "The Commitments." I remember seeing the film when I was in high school and yes they are the same guys from the movie on tour. Anyone want to join me? I have 1 ticket out of 2. Finally we ended up dining on a bowl of Won Ton, Beef and Chinese Broccoli and Lobster, almost using up the total balance.

I apologize to (e:Lady) Croft I did see you called but I was in ROAM at the time.

Then I ended up trying to meet up with the estrip group. After finding a parking spot on Forest I tried to look in Goodbar and Coles but to no avail. Coles is just too claustrophobic for my taste sometimes as it is impossible to maneuver with that oak wall. By the time I was on the sidewalk I got a phone call from my old friend Peter and was called for a quick conference.

About 11 we was free and tried Nietzsche's, looking for the group. No luck, I tried the Old Pink and Hardware. At Hardware I enjoyed a PBR and called it a Fat Tuesday, as I need to be at work in about 6 hours.

With Lent now underway the thought of my Old Catholic upbringing comes to mind. What am I going to sacrifice for 40 days? Usually it was something that I never bothered to do or did not like. A good example would be Sex if one did not have a significant other. It's just that your current situation is calling for a situation that you are giving up something you never had in the first place.

The real sacrifice is giving it up when you are in a relationship. The real suffering in dealing with the fallout of being a martyr in denying you partner something that she obviously was not consulted in going without. 40 days...would it be a week or two before one found themselves single and in good shape to carry on their Lenten sacrifice until Easter Sunday? There was a time when I was so Catholic I would be a total religious asshat and give up a relationship for Catholic Guilt. This would actually be a good idea when I delusional thought it would be a good idea to be a priest. Thank some kind of higher power that I began my Recovery from that Religion.

OK it is very late.

Yes, I am finally getting sick of LJ. Well not totally but like Theecarey I will still keep my blog going over there, probably more so than she does now.

For the past two weeks now I have just been lounging around at home not really going out as I have been known to. The hook to my user name is that I have seen Pulp Fiction on late night cable movie channels, usually on a Saturday Night. My last name is Vincent so I figured, Hey why not spin off Vincent Vega? Go UC Santa Cruz Slugs!

The sad part is I do not own the DVD