after several months of primarily purchasing and file sharing of highly compressed MP3s, I needed to hit up a CD store.

the most recent CD purchases:

Bjork-Post (typical sound for her work, but I don't have any of her Cds, just MP3s, so this is a nice addition)

Bjork-Vespertine (melodic, breezy, pleasantly surprising- love it)

Ella Fitzgerald- Love Ella (the original versions)- good mix of stereo and mono. Awesome voice. Prefer her sound on vinyl, but this is pretty great to have on CD.

Ella Fitzgerald- Ella for Lovers (most intimate songs)- mono, but with limited noise reduction, so the sound is more pure.

soundtrack to Slumdog Millionaire (energetic, pretty, multi dimensional sound)

I'm very pleased with these purchases.


I'll be seeking to acquire a few more CDs of varying genres soon.


any audiophiles out there?

suggestions for my eager listening experience? :)

woops, forgot to hit, "publish" a couple of hours ago.

Happy Dyngus day!




Dyngus Day Buffalo site:



from Holiday Insights,

Dyngus Day

When : Always the Monday after Easter

Dyngus Day, also spelled Dingus Day, is a Polish Holiday. It is very popular in Poland, and in Polish communities in America. After the long Lenten holiday, Dyngus Day is a day of fun. And, perhaps a little romantic fun. It is always celebrated on the Monday after Easter.

There area all sort of ways for boys to meet girls. But, this one takes the cake.

Guys, on this day you get to wet the ladies down. Sprinkling or drenching with water is your goal. Chase after the ladies with squirt guns, buckets, or other containers of water. The more bold and gallant boys, may choose to use cologne. Hitting (gently, please) the ladies on the legs with switches or pussy willows is also common.

Yes ladies, you can strike back. Ladies , you get your revenge on Tuesday, when tradition has it that you throw dishes or crockery back at the boys. It has become increasingly popular for the ladies to get their revenge on Monday, tossing water back at the boys.

Note: Dyngus Day is also called Wet Easter Monday. Hmmmmm, I wonder why!?

Origin of Dyngus Day:

When exploring the roots of Dyngus Day, Historians point to the baptism of Polish Prince Mieszko I in 966 A.D. Baptism with water signifies cleansing, fertility, and purification. Somewhere along the way, the tradition of tossing water on the girls and hitting them with pussy willows evolved.

Always a holiday in WNY! enjoy!

ever have so many things on your mind, so many things going on, so many thoughts- whether any of them are interesting, humdrum or whatever, but you want to share, to write to keep connected, then the effort of doing so just leads to squat?

yeh, that's me right now.

even the mental effort to read posts and write comments can't get through the mental sludge.

Staying up all night and sleeping a few hours in the late morning is frying my brain. I swear I have dumbed-down these past few weeks. But all is worth it to help family to this degree temporarily. (e:theecarey,48091) & (e:theecarey,48112)

Not sure how much more I can stretch it out though- never been good on "overnights", and it really does make the rest of my life unbalanced, as any of you that have had that sort of schedule knows. Again, for better or worse, it won't be much longer. It has been a good experience and to look back on the situation later on, I will have been happy to have contributed my time and effort.

I can't imagine being in my 90's, healthy overall, but slowly losing pieces of my mind, for real. Dementia is fascinating- clear moments nestled between increasingly scattered and confusing ones. It must be frustrating to have less and less control, and everything that you have ever known to be on the edge of feeling/being lost forever. Sometimes the person experiences a whole new day, going through the motions, re learning expectations, having more experiences, then lose it all just to start it all over again the next morning.

Sometimes that would be nice right?

But then old thoughts creep in, making conflict with
current thought. Probably like having that sensation of wanting/having/trying to remember something on the tip of your tongue, but just out of reach- always.

And then to have people familiar and unfamiliar to come into and out of your life every day, on some level overseeing what you do, telling you what to do and/or helping you to do some of the most basic things. Sometimes you can do it on your own, sometimes you can't, and you know it, and it sucks. Having less control after a long life of taking care of yourself and your family must be incredibly.. frustrating, sad, etc.

And so, with other family members, I do what I can. I'm there to offer safety, look over the house, regular night checks, complete simple chores, listen to him talk, assist him when I can and should, oversee meds, take him to a day program in the morning, and whatever else is needed. I try not to interfere with his routines or self help skills, as I firmly believe that he doesn't need to have someone on top of him. I hang in the background as much as I can and step in when it seems that I should (such as when he puts on several pairs of underwear in varying configurations, tries to put one pair of shoes on over another as he failed to realize he already has a pair of shoes on, etc).

He has a great sense of humor and he often makes me laugh.

And so, one day at a time for me as well. I try to get things done in my own life- so many projects that require my attention, and they have more or less been suspended until I can re devote my time to them. This includes gym time. In time, I will get back to all of it. Just need some good night time, rejuvenating sleep. My brain just feels so fuzzy-things are often just on the tip of my tongue as well, these days. As I was explaining to (e:pyrcedgrrl), I want to go from point A to B, but some how forget about B, and end up at point E, M and Z or nowhere at all.

But its all good.

Sometimes when we are in the middle of something, it seems so big, daunting and permanent, but really, in hindsight, it was a very small piece of time in our lives, a tiny fragment of the bigger picture.
I often remind myself of that when I go through things. I also have the propensity to bail when things are rough, boring, awkward or any other non stimulating uncomfortable situation that you can think of. Not all, but in recent self reflection, there have been times that i have now known this to be true.
So with this, I am challenging myself to hang in there.

and I will.

made me laugh

My windows and front door are open!

It smells so good outside! The milder temps and a little rain sprinkle makes the earthy yummy smells that I enjoy so much.

I can hear those awesome spring creature sounds!

After being sick a week, my icky germy apartment got a decent partial clean. I got the major rooms done, just need to finish up tomorrow.

I'd complete it tonight, but I go hang out with my elderly gentleman friend. Overall, even mild dementia is sad, but it sure has its funny moments too. He never fails to make me smile.

So said cleaning, feels really really good. Now that I am sitting and typing (and eating) real quick before I go, I am cooling off. Windows and door will be shut soon. Cats enjoying the air too. I almost wish I could stay home tonight to enjoy it, haha

btw, I am currently obsessed with Clorox Clean-up. I am very sensitive to cleaners, and can only use mild ones, as most irritate my lungs. I've been using various earth friendly varieties for years and Murphys Oil soap. Thats pretty much it. However, my BF uses the clorox stuff, and somehow things just seem more clean- look, smell and feel clean. So, I bought a bottle of Target brand for myself. Wish I could use it on everything, but it was good just to go over my kitchen and bathroom with.

Made a quick super yummy dinner. Simple cut up piece of boneless chicken breast sauted with some 'Asian' seasonings (a blend of dry spices- too many to list, but super good). Then tossed in a vegetable mix (cauliflower, carrot, snap peas, onion and red pepper). Mixed together, so delicious.

I ordered my netbook. After much deliberation, I went with the Acer. I can't hardly wait for it. I'll post more about it once it comes in. yay!

crap, gotta go.

have an awesome night!

edit: wow, I just realized this is my 600th post. Neato!

I am so ready to do some spring cleaning.

I just really can't wait to move everything around and wash it all down. Vacuum, dust, scrub and refresh. Clear out the cobwebs and bring a sense of revitalization to my simple living quarters. It feels good to do that. The fresh air outside has me itching to do all this. But I am still sick and not physically motivated after pulling a few all nighters with the older gentleman I take care of at night. (e:theecarey,48091)

soon though, sooooooonn!

in the meantime, just the basic cleaning will commence.

the occasional Super Deep cleaning is rather fun with the right music and energy levels.(and strong coffee!)

I think the day to day stuff is boring- such as dishes and litter box duty. It is always just there and it never feels like I accomplished anything. Nothing feels or looks different.

Vacuuming, dusting and floor washing is done sorta regularly, but still nothing special.

But getting all crazy and moving things around and really getting into every surface level, whether it needs it or not, is equivalent to clearing up some mental clutter. I personally feel good afterward; like I just had a cerebral spring clean. Clearing out the dark and dusty spaces of my mind and home after a long winter. Lame, yeh, maybe. But I bet some of you are on par with this? :D

Not sure when my clean-fest will be. I usually make a mess as I get into cupboards, drawers, closets, and other regularly neglected spaces and then organize and purge as part of the process. Then it all comes together so nicely. mmmmmm!

I'll probably find stuff that I don't want anymore, so I mind as well begin a pile to donate and maybe even have a garage sale again come May or June. I did well last year, with my first one ever.

so just maybe..

ack been sick.

everyone I know has been sick, and normally I can bypass the effects of shared germs by getting extra sleep. When I don't sleep, I'm screwed.

I have been taking care of a friend of the family at night. He is 90 years old. His wife of the same age is in the hospital recuperating from a fall. She is mentally with it and sprite. He has some mild dementia that leaves him a little confused at times. Each day is almost a new day. Some things carry over, sometimes I am listening to the same loop of conversation. Anyway, between family and friends, someone is with him all the time. He goes to a day program then visits his beloved wife (who he is insanely in love with- if nothing else he remembers that everyday) in the evening. At night, someone stays over. He tends to not sleep all night and needs reminders to do a few hygiene things in the morning. Someone is there to pretty much ensure his safety in case he falls or something. Not to interfere too much or take away his independence. Just be there.

So I have been helping out 4 nights a week. I figure that it is temporary (until she gets back home) and it greatly helps everyone out. Although I can fall asleep if I want, I find it very hard to do so.
1. it isn't my own place
2. the tiny couch is uncomfy
3. He is asleep by nine or so then up for a few hours by midnight, then on and off regularly the remainder of the night. I'm definitely awake when he is.

Some nights I can doze off for an hour at a time for a combined and broken 2-3 hours max. Thats a good night. I go home in the morning and eventually grab three hours of straight solid sleep. That really messes with me!

I'm not complaining- just leading up to my being sick this weekend. As when everyone around me was getting sick, I ended up the same, especially after a few sleepless nights. Pretty much a cold- snots, stuffed nose, achy eyes, disconnected feeling.

Overall I'm not concerned about the lack of sleep situation, as it is temporary (otherwise couldn't continue for long term), and this gentleman is such a joy to be around.A true personal learning experience.

I've never been around "older" people. Actually, I am rarely if ever around anyone on either side of my life age continuum- ie; no one especially advanced in age or babies/toddlers. My grandparents died around the time of my birth, I have little family so no babies around, and my friends don't have/don't want kids- so no babies lurking around. I don't personally want any and the youngest kid I am around now a days is my boyfriends 3 yr old son, whom I see/hang out with on part of the weekend.

For the oldest I am around on occasion would be my aunt and uncle who are 70, so I guess that could count, but they are so young, hip, worldly and energetic that I have in my mind that that is the standard for that age. Maybe it is, if not, I hope to be just like them.

But 90- wow. It is surreal to think how much someone of that age has seen and gone through. For those that are healthy and mentally clear, I imagine it to be quite an experience to look back on their lives and realize what things were important and what things were stupid time wasters. What are the regrets, what are the moments of satisfaction that carried throughout the years?
and what it must be like to fade away, if you happen to suffer from mild dementia. Some times you are there, sometimes not, sometimes you hover in between. It must be difficult to watch someone you love hang there too. As dementia worsens, they aren't dying per se, but they are slipping away. That is scary.

So this has made me think of my own mortality lately..

where I want my life to go, what I want to put more effort into, what I want to put less effort into, what matters, what really doesn't, what sort of care and prospects do I want/need if I happen to get into late geriatric years. Also, what do I want to leave behind in terms of who I am... and does it matter?

So those are some of my thoughts as of late.

that and which netbook I plan to purchase this week. Asus? Acer? HP? Dell? I'd like to keep it cheap. My laptop is working at the moment and is why I can post, but I need something asap for the next round of when it doesn't work.


Well, right now, I have to get ready to head back out to his place. Being sick and sleeping part of the day, I have totally missed out on the nicer, warmer sunnier weather. Hope you have been enjoying it!

A-HA! The mouse and touchpad do not work (or stop working shortly) once the power cord is plugged in. unplug. works. plug in, stops working. hmmmmm

yet, works better at home, stationary, with power cord plugged in for days as opposed to then when taken to BF's or some coffee shop, and laptop starts up with little to no battery power and so I need to plug the cord in... and mice/touch pad issues are at their worst.

it's in the power

I'm getting there.

but I'm still buying new/newer stuff soon.

(e:theecarey,47962)
(and (e:theecarey,47877) and (e:theecarey,47879))

Although I had enough sleep, I wasn't ready to get out of bed when I looked at the clock. Instead of getting up, I switched positions, buried my head under two pillows to block out the light, and fell back into a light sleep and equally light dreams.

Usually my dreams are replete with adventure, sex, espionage, quantum physics and tons of weirdness.

One of the last ones I had this morning was one where I dreampt of alcohol, of being in a liquor store shopping for a small dinner party later that night. For reasons that do not necessarily mimic real life choices, I was searching for super sweet selections. ie; ice wine, Tequila Rose, Kahlua, Baileys*. I recall finding odd shaped bottles of pre made martinis. On the shelf were several frosted glass isosceles triangular bottles, the long tip being the opening, and somehow, also the bottom of the bottle. I bypassed those momentarily, as the thought of making mudslides sounded really good.

Still dreaming, this idea prompted me to entertain the idea of alcoholic ice cream. I spoke about it to the friend in my dream. Lovely cool scoops of ice cream that tasted like any sort of beverage you desired, and actually had that alcohol contained within. MmMmmMmmmm. My dream proceeded onto more interesting material, and there was a lot more to even this one, but this little bit remained as a fresh memory upon waking.

Now I could go for some Baileys icec ream- maybe in a soft serve custard? nice!

Alcohol ice cream has been done:


Makes me want to try making of my own.
Snoopy snow cones made with vodka doesn't count. Who was that? I bet it was (e:mike)?

I think the alcohol element derived from all the sweet drinks and various 'martini' talk around here, and I'm pretty sure that the ice cream element rose from my reading material last night, one of Augusten Burroughs many memoirs, Running with Scissors. (Is this a movie now?)

In a chapter titled, "School Daze", young (13) Augusten is reflecting that things going on in his life are much more interesting than anything in school. That when in school, he felt completely unable to identify with the lives of his fellow students. He didn't want to go to school and only went when necessary. An excerpt from one passage:

"How could I just sit there obediently pinning a butterfly's wings to a lab tray or memorizing prepositional phrases? When the other boys in the locker room were showering and talking about their weekends playing soccer, what was I supposed to say. "Oh, I had a great time. My thirty-three year old boyfriend said he wished they could package my cum like ice cream so he could eat it all day."
:X
and that last sentence stuck with me.

If I am to take anything away from my dream, it is to get drunk and laid pronto.


I can not draw with this. Some of you can create masterpieces.
I've got master pieces of crap. Not that that stops me :)

triangular martini bottles


licking a cone of baileys ice cream

• Are other brands of Irish Cream any good? If so, which? I've only purchased Baileys, but I've seen a few others and was curious.

laptop issues continue (e:theecarey,47877)
(e:theecarey,47879)

So, my computer mouse and touch pad issues did not mysteriously disappear as I had hoped. While I enjoy miraculous recoveries of inanimate objects, there is usually an underlying issue that needs to be addressed.

Originally, two mice failed to work. USB ports are working with other components. Touchpad stops working or works intermittently at the same time that the mice fails. After uninstalling the mouse drivers and allowing the computer to reinstall them, I found that neither continued to work. I did not see how a new mouse would help, but I had picked one up anyway as I wanted a retractable travel variety. Interestingly, the mouse worked. (e:theecarey,47877)

Forward to a couple weeks later or so, and now the same issues have reemerged. Touchpad and mouse work intermittently. Now that I have backed everything up with my new hard drive (e:theecarey,47946), I am much more open to experimentation. Going to root around in the video stuff soon..

But all that stuff besides, I am facing the reality of having to purchase a new computer. I've had this Toshiba laptop for over four years, my old Gateway laptop (still running, but has its own set of issues) for about seven years, and for kicks, I still have my desktop circa 1997; rarely used but once or twice a year- wow, twelve years already? (it collects dust)

I know I have prattled on about buying a new PC on and off for some time. I always want new gadgets, but am often reticent in plunking down the money until I have to. So now reality is setting in, and I really need to figure out what I want, need, etc.

Ideally, I would build a desktop myself and purchase a little laptop for my mobile/in between needs. That would be a toss up between the ASUS or the HP. Not sure what my budget is yet, but once I start getting prices that will help figure out what I want to spend versus what I have to spend.

I miss CompUSA. Online, I usually look at TigerDirect.com