A Hard Time
Needed to get this out somewhere. I picked up a friend of the female persuasion a couple years back. We dated for a bit then cooled off, met up after a few months then cooled off, chatted occasionally and started doing stuff once in awhile and during last winter became involved again only to have it go off the rails shortly after St. Patrick's Day.
Saved a friendship which is nice, if a little odd, but it worked as she was my main music seeing partner for summer tunes. Neither of us was involved and I'll admit to occasionally wishing for another chance, but such is life.
About two weeks ago, she became involved with some guy. Trying to be a friend, I tried to say all the right supportive things.
Now, back in June we bought tickets for last night's Great Big Sea show, and she offered a surplus ticket to the new dude. I asked if this was now a date night and I'm in the way. No, no, it is a music night.
All well and good, but I get this feeling of dread even before arriving last night. Dude is sitting on the porch so I being a grownup went and said hello. My friend appears and gives me the usual hug, no big deal, but pulls out cigarettes. This is new, only being an occasional smoker. It was like watching somebody play a role.
My music loving partner talked through the first 1/3 of Great Big Sea. I had to walk away a couple of times because I felt my head hurting.
You ever look forward to something then really tread it. My friend was there in body, but its inhabitant was all about impressing this person. Part of me understand that but watching somebody you know turn and twist their usual persona is something I don't understand.
I guess what has me most upset is this feeling of I don't know, abandonment, that relagated me to third wheel and concerned that my friend is gone.
When you don't many to start with at this age, that is a harsh thing too.
So, I'm not sure what to do. Have I be getting used all along? Do I react any further? Pretty sure if I go to the Machine at Artpark on Tuesday, I think it won't be in their company.
Sorry, need to vent somewhere than other to my ex
Saved a friendship which is nice, if a little odd, but it worked as she was my main music seeing partner for summer tunes. Neither of us was involved and I'll admit to occasionally wishing for another chance, but such is life.
About two weeks ago, she became involved with some guy. Trying to be a friend, I tried to say all the right supportive things.
Now, back in June we bought tickets for last night's Great Big Sea show, and she offered a surplus ticket to the new dude. I asked if this was now a date night and I'm in the way. No, no, it is a music night.
All well and good, but I get this feeling of dread even before arriving last night. Dude is sitting on the porch so I being a grownup went and said hello. My friend appears and gives me the usual hug, no big deal, but pulls out cigarettes. This is new, only being an occasional smoker. It was like watching somebody play a role.
My music loving partner talked through the first 1/3 of Great Big Sea. I had to walk away a couple of times because I felt my head hurting.
You ever look forward to something then really tread it. My friend was there in body, but its inhabitant was all about impressing this person. Part of me understand that but watching somebody you know turn and twist their usual persona is something I don't understand.
I guess what has me most upset is this feeling of I don't know, abandonment, that relagated me to third wheel and concerned that my friend is gone.
When you don't many to start with at this age, that is a harsh thing too.
So, I'm not sure what to do. Have I be getting used all along? Do I react any further? Pretty sure if I go to the Machine at Artpark on Tuesday, I think it won't be in their company.
Sorry, need to vent somewhere than other to my ex




