The Mental Plate is a little full
So, I have this nagging feeling of helplessness that won't go away. My Father-in-Law (I guess former since the divorce, but we don't really think in those terms) has been battling cancer most of the year, complete with two very invasive surgeries over at Roswell Peep. He went back over Friday to get the latest report and it wasn't good. The talk of more chemo is too manage pain for a "few more months." If long term terminal is a term, I think I discovered the definition. Since the holidays he was having a rougher go of it. He is one of those who never feels sorry for himself, always wanting the best for everybody and such. Seeing this twist isn't fair under the best of circumstances, but it's been a tough one to swallow. He did everything right. He was a smoker and managed to quit that. He doesn't drink, no red meat, no chicken, heavily into fish and veggies and still Karma decided to say "Fuck You."
Be enough to test your faith, as if mine isn't shaky enough as it is. Got the news yesterday that a distant cousin passed away from unknown causes. She was the daughter of my mom's eldest sister. The sister has long proven to be bonkers so I hadn't them in over 25 years. She was a whack job but I wouldn't wish that on anybody. Even whack jobs deserve a little peace.
So, the yuks aren't exactly plentiful.
I know Dad-in-law doesn't want us all sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves and that is the message my ex and I are going to try and convey to our kids later. At 13 and 16, I suspect my daughters are pretty aware. He's essentially dying, but trying to explain the vast amount of what isn't definite to a 9 year old (The aformentioned number one son). So, what isn't known is what any of this means because we're at a point where everything is just a guestimate.
Depressed yet? I know I am.
Came home from a rare exasperating day at work to that news and my time has been haunted by it ever since.
Be enough to test your faith, as if mine isn't shaky enough as it is. Got the news yesterday that a distant cousin passed away from unknown causes. She was the daughter of my mom's eldest sister. The sister has long proven to be bonkers so I hadn't them in over 25 years. She was a whack job but I wouldn't wish that on anybody. Even whack jobs deserve a little peace.
So, the yuks aren't exactly plentiful.
I know Dad-in-law doesn't want us all sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves and that is the message my ex and I are going to try and convey to our kids later. At 13 and 16, I suspect my daughters are pretty aware. He's essentially dying, but trying to explain the vast amount of what isn't definite to a 9 year old (The aformentioned number one son). So, what isn't known is what any of this means because we're at a point where everything is just a guestimate.
Depressed yet? I know I am.
Came home from a rare exasperating day at work to that news and my time has been haunted by it ever since.



















