Why do many drivers feel the need to get just enough of a head start on the left turns, ostensibly blocking traffic? The two to three seconds they save is absorbed in the inevitable bird exchange.

You ever get a dirty look from somebody making a left turn because your car had the nerve to be in the space they wanted to occupy during their turn?

Can the Bills be as bad as they looked today? Hell, yes, but it was nice to watch some football at the rents house while doing laundry, and having a healthy plate of Mom's pasta. Clean undies and somebody else's homecooking sort of gives the upcoming week a clean slate.

Watching the Emmys while I type this and Lewis Black may be the best part of the whole thing.

Gonna be an interesting week. Darling middle child who can simulataneously intrigues and scares me loses the braces tomorrow. I, being the smarty pants that I am, am going to present her with a tub of carmel corn to make up for lost time. Got the zoo, part 3 on Wednesday(which cannot get here fast enough thanks) and an email from TW reveals another department is interested in me. Trying not to get overpumped for the Wednesday appointment but part of my fevered lil brain wants to place greater significance on the fact that my meeting is being conducted by the person overseeing Business Administration and HR. We all know that the world is run by HR, ya know. Thanks for the positive wishes so far. Updates as events warrant.

The family that sneezes together stays together I guess. Number one son, his Mom and I were seated at the UU church today with a friend. The friend's perfume was a little "old lady" dated. My eyes watered a little. My ex sneezed so on reflex, I handed her my kleenex stash and on cue, Number one son started sniffing. More comical in the experience than in the retelling, but I take my mirth where I can find it.

In watching the Bills game today, the Steelers were wearing their old throwback jerseys from the 40s to commemorate an anniversary. I thought my dad's tv was off for a second when the Steelers came out in these burgandy brownish jerseys with the mustard yellow logos. I thought the Bills were playing the Vancouver Canucks with such craptastic colors. You really got to be a fan to go for some of those offerings. Guess it isn't me as a casual fan, who's three fantasy teams are already stumblin.

Another work week is almost here, peeps, watch out

Zoo just called. I've made it to the next round. Might have to bust out the Paisley Mickey Mouse tie.

Gonna go home and listen to "Animals" by Pink Floyd and maybe watch the real Dr. Doolittle.

Cars can truly fuck with you. I'd been tending to mine to keep up with its various ailments, but it fooled me. I was driving home last night on the 290 and noticed a smell. No big deal really because the neighborhood by the big blue water tour does have a bit of a fume about it. As I made the turn onto the 33, I noticed my radiator gauge. It was redlining like an over modulated stereo. In a word, Fuck! I pulled over on the 33 (good times, there) and waited for a bit. Radiator didn't blow, but I think it was getting ready to. After about 20 minutes of sheer nerve wracking bliss, I got some coolant out of my trunk and refilled the radiator. Thanksfully it didn't pee all over the road, so I think the radiator might be salvagable.

Anyway, I get back into the car and turn the key. Nothing, nothing turns over, nothing happens (except for the sinking of my morale). With a feeling of dread, it's starting to get dark so I take the plunge and call Triple A and my Dad. Triple A actually asks if I'll be with the car. No place else to go. Customer service at Triple A wants to know if there is a milage marker. There is one right outside the window, with absolutely nothing on it. I tell her the only thing useable is the Harlem Rd exit sign is a few hundred feet away. Tow shows up and wouldn't you know it, the car starts right up. I forgot that it has a few sensors to totally keep it from imploding. Runs like a champ, but considering it nearly fried itself, I don't trust it. He tows it out to the garage in Clarence where Dad is waiting.

The folks are using their cache with the garage guy for mercy since my guy on Hertel (Hertelstrip.org?) doesn't have any overnight space. A beer and a couple of burgers at the folks house and I'm in their camry on my way back to the city, arriving at my door 3 hours later than usual.

Argh!

As much as it sucks, I can only imagine how much worse it would have been if the car decided to have this fit while I was driving back from work at the Bills game. Given the traffic, the tow truck could have seen me, but never would have connected with me. A pain in the shorts to be sure. Kills any new computer aspirations that I may have had.

Cars can suck.

There is something bizarre about the atmosphere at Bills games akin to Lord of the Flies. There is a strange willingness among people to part with $6.50 for a papercup full of semi-cold Labatt's. It's enough to make this working stiff look forward to the second half when the beer stops.

Rain was nicely intermittent until the precise moment I got to clock out and walk to my car. White, wet t-shirts are not a good look for me. Anyway, during the game I got to break up a spat between two guys basically giving each other the finger from a few rows away, two guys way too old enough to now better. One drunken sot stomped passed me dozens of times during the day, only to go off on a rant at the end of the game. Both the sheriff's deputy and I told him, if you had an issue, probably would have been better to speak up when the trouble was happening, but whatever....

Interesting hush over the stadium when the Bills' Kevin Everett had his accident. The stadium scoreboard showed non-descript ads and about 2/3s of the stadium couldn't tell anything except that it was it was something bad, confirmed when the ambulance drove on to the field. Never saw 80,000 people hush like that. Once the ambulance left the field, it was surreal as eventually it turned back into a football game again.

Busted a few folks who smuggled beer in and eventually had to remind myself why I do this again. Then I remembered, had to buy a 90.00 graphic calculator for my lovely middle child's algebra studies as well as a few dollars more toward my high schoolers wants/needs. After swimming to my car, I was thankful for the fact that I prograstinate. My beach bag was sitting in the trunk complete with a sorely needed towel. Driving home, I was reminded that my omelette at Spot was a long time ago, so I left the cooking to Mr. Pizza -- always a wise choice.

Got tickets for Springsteen in Toronto so that capped the weekend appropriately.

Interviewed (as some of you know) for a gig with the Buffalo Zoo doing marketing & p.r. and Web design and other stuff (Basically all the cool things I used to get do for Adelphia). I like to think it went well. My interviewer was very cool, the type you can see yourself working for pretty easily. It's a nice environment and I hope it comes to pass. I like my chances.

It had an ominious beginning. When else do you have to really dress up except when it's going to be 90 outside. I could foresee the flop sweat attack Wednesday night. The change to the hot weather brought on a sinus headache of epic proportions so I didn't write much down. All that was sticking in my brain was some banter from (e:jenks) and (e:imk2) about the power of guys in good suits. Felt like hell but got this far.



I didn't put the jacket on till I got to the security extrance. Anyway, the session itself went well. There is something to be said for just winging it and going with your gut. Trouble is most times my guts have shit for brains. But, I'm optimistic. And if I get further, I'm sure I'd drop cable in a heartbeat. So, consider this an official request for continued good vibes. I think the yellow submarine tie should put me in the right place. It would be nice to be 9 to 5 ish again. The 11 to 7 I currently works stinks to high heaven, but it did put me in the right place to get soaked watching Elvis Costello last night.

Off to finish buying school supplies. Enjoy the cooler day, peeps

First day of school and my younger kids bus was only 20 minutes late, which isn't bad all things being equaled. Darling middle child wanted me to drive them in, as "the morning bus is when all the throwing up is done." Ever was it thus...

Their school is temporarily relocating so the new neighborhood is a little weird. They get to change from the eccentricities of the Clinton-Jefferson neighborhood for the vicissitudes of the UB Minnesota neighborhood, where the biggest obstable is leftover UB kegs from the weekend.

Funny watching the dynamic. The three year old at the stop can't wait. My guys hop on the bus and sit on the side where they cannot see me and immediately look the other way. Once you've been driven I guess, it's tough to go back.

On other fronts, I ran a few errands on the way home last night and stole a look for my zoo appt tomorrow. Park visitors sometimes lose their brains. I was following one car. A guy just starts walking in front of that car without regard that there is a car coming. Sad really, when a moron will take kids into the street without regard to the fact there may be cars coming. Butthead.

Got to put a camera in my car. Hellacious accident on Sheridan yesterday morning that blocked off a section of the street on my way to work. Last time I saw that amount of cop cars in Amherst the walmart had shoplifters.

Funny thing with my interview tomorrow. My daughter goes to school with the nephew of my interviewer. It may be be the first conference in my experience arranged with the assistance of Facebook. Who the hell knows?

Ah well, Happy Birthday, (e:Ladycroft)

and I believe the J is silent.

I've never seen anybody have a good time on the 5K's, 3K's, the Por que's that seem to be prevalent around here. Bullfeathers had their ode to spinal surgery on Friday night and the only thing is succeeded in doing was making it impossible to cross Elmwood at one of the busier times of the day. I'm enjoying morning coffee and another Labor Day "Fun Run" is twaddling up Delaware beneath my porch.

The irony of the title is that the only fun is being had by the Buffalo Motorcycle cops enjoying a morning of cushy duty. Runners are running up my side of the street and by Timon Towers, a biker cop actually found a car to pull over.

Too much work for Labor Day in my eye. Think I'll get another damn fine cup of joe.

Enjoy the day off, peeps

Mike & Terry Stock! 3 Days of Peace, Love and Alcohol. Happy Birthday, Guys! Unintentionally, I'm commemorating the occasion by not working today, which given how the previous four days have been, it seems a good thing to do. Actually, I just liked the symmetry of taking every Friday in August off. Does wonders.

So far today, I was able to get a doctor's bill corrected, procure a model of the Old War Memorial Stadium from the Bisons Gift shop, get my car fixed and lament the loss of Edritos. They were the perfect Elmwood taco place and moving to downtown changed the nature of the place and now it's gone, another reason to be annoyed with Panos' prosperity. The falafel bar is fine, but I miss Edritos being in that spot.

Strange Days....We locked the door to the office last night and a dude started pounding on it a few minutes later, screaming that we were closing early to spite him. The joint is open almost 11 hours a day, dude, get over it. The day before, a yahoo with a eastern european accent (I couldn't pin it down beyond) came in in mid-harang bleating about he can't get his modem set up. I could have done it, but he wouldn't stop blathering about the delays on the phone, like I have control of over how fast stuff there transpires. Oy! On top of that, I've had to deal with this guy who is like Yoda, only Korean. He speaks gramatically like Yoda but with considerable Seoul if you know what I mean (and I think you do). High Definition television should have so many hypotheticals.

Usually on my section of Delaware, the early morning noises are usually traffic and the talking Metro Buses, but the church adjacent to Timon Towers was having a funeral this morning. That in and of itself wasn't terribly remarkable, but as part of the proceedings a bagpiper serenaded the entrances and exits of attendees. I'm not a big piper fan, but to hear it off in the distance was pretty. Took the edge off the rush hour goofs. Sounded pretty good with the morning coffee.

I got a second interview with the Buffalo Zoo, so here's hoping they are serious and that the gods smile upon me. I need to get my brain moving again. That happens, my professional disposition will recover in short order.

Every year, English teachers from across the country submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These were the Washington Post over the weekend. Cracked me up.

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E.Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had a eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Seeing a "Street performer" rummage through the light post trash cans on Elmwood near Anderson for bottles is nothing new. Seeing one tonight looking for bottles on HIS FREAKING SEGWAY did make me stop and do a doubletake. I got to put a camera in the car for such occasions.