There has been an on going debate in my head wather or not I really want to stay in new york. Nothing seems to be going right for me here thus far and I'm I think I lost weight. My cell phone is broken so I had to send it to the company to fix so Im phoneless. Whichdosen't seem to matter since none of my friends return my phone calls and there has been no jobs calling me back. I am doing the un-thinkable right now. I'm BABYSITTING a baby! But he makes my rent cheaper so you know, ones gotta do. I babysit little Cory twice a week and it makes my rent $240.00 a month and he's cute and fat. LAst week was declared the worst week of my life, I was deathly ill, my phone broke and I didn't eat for three days. Although I seem to no be having much fun here yet, moving back to buffalo seems like a bad idea, I mean yeah iI would be with my close friends ( who don't return my phones calls) but I would have to go bakc to that P place and I'm not sure I've hit that low yet. Another up note I did meet Mike Myers (Austin Powers, Waynes World) that was cool I am a fan of his. Anywho gotta go baby calls. Bye Bye B-lo.

Well so far this city has been like a bad boyfriend. Really good times, no sex, money sucking, and testicles. My first Newyork subway ride involved a great veiw of a mans testicles who was sleeping on the bench next to me. My first drink that night in times square was free by the bartender. Which was great considering a mudslide is $9.00, and i originally asked for a molson canadian which they don't carry in this city, much to my dismay. I guess it's too cheap a drink to order. So I stick to the lovely vodka on the rocks. Karaoke is major fun, especially when everyone at the bar including the dj loves you the whole night. It's been pretty warm so there has been ample time for walking around. I still have no job although I do have a modeling agency I hooked up with last week and who I have to go back to tomorrow to see the photos they took of me and get work. Cable T.V. is a lot of fun now. I will be honest it hasn't been all sunshine and bunnies here. Alot of stress finding a place to live, having a fat lesbian following you around for four days. Ok tell me how I don't even have a place to live in nyc and I already have visitors. Yeah thanks bitch, thanks for F-ing up my new years. I wanted to come home so bad it was sick and I was on the verge of leaking (crying for those of you who feel emotions). I still do kinda but only because of the people i miss and it would be a lot easier. But I'm here for a reason and the ones i miss the most I'm sure I will be with again. Terry let me just say not a day goes by. Sara, Paul, Matt, Mike send me hippie positive energy that I will do well here. I will be there to visit within the next two months. Unless there is a camping trip next month. I love and miss you guys more than you know. I Love NY.

P.S. I got hit on by two GAY guys. Things are looking up!

it's been a while guys. But I am still in love and harmony and I will be out of buffalo as fo december 29 2005. good luck to me! thank you. Anywho the reason I posted tonight is that some bitch who promised me she would be here tonight, didn't show up. HELLO CINDY! I am leaving soon we had a great night at sara's I thought we had a connection. But just like everyone else in my life I grow to love I can't have for some reason. E peeps I give much love. Cindy lick a twat you ugly cum dump.

Two months in counting is my departure date and I couldn't be happier. People are getting weirder by the hour around me. Random fist fights are breaking out at work and at dance clubs (angry lesbians). Met a manic depressive fireman who can't stop thinking about me, who has actually gotten under my skin a bit. The crazy red head boy un-invited me to his party, so i gave him the finger and told him to go fuck himself. My mother decides to rob a bank and goes to prison. I really hope they make her excercise while shes there because she put on a good buck thiry in the last couple years. I can't stop watching south park. Has the whole world gone crazy or just this city? That is something I intend to find out come December. My dear bad habit Buffalo, I will miss you while I'm gone. I thought of reasons to stay but then overcome with the fact that this paradise is not for me. Anywho gotta get back to apt huntin. peace love and happines bitches!

WELL HELLO! it's terry's birthday and I am here, visisting and tossing a couple back before i go to work. HAPPY BIRTHDAY tERRY! you are not old yet. As for me I just had a birthday of 22 years and it was filled with dancing fun with terry and paul,weird straight boys and lots of peach martinis. I have a fucked up living sitch, which I will not go into tonight since i have precious little time. gotta go

WELL HELLO! it's terry's birthday and I am here, visisting and tossing a couple back before i go to work. HAPPY BIRTHDAY tERRY! you are not old yet. As for me I just had a birthday of 22 years and it was filled with dancing fun with terry and paul,weird straight boys and lots of peach martinis. I have a fucked up living sitch, which I will not go into tonight since i have [reciou little time. gotta go

With 22 years just around the corner, I decided it's time to get my act together. For the past three months or so I have been practicing my "good boy" faith. Now what qualifies me as a "good BOy" you wonder? (or not?). Well I 'll start with less smoking. I buy a pack of cigarettes a week and usually finish them that day but for the rest of the six days Imight bum four. GOOD BOY. I've been practicing the big "C" word for the past three months also. (CELIBACY!!!!). And it is my choice contrary to what you skeptics think. I could be having sex and GOOD sex mind you, but choose not to for sake of this boy's feelings.GOOD BOY. THe RED head boy is a good lay but gets to clingy so his F.B. privliages has been revoked. Perminetly. Just as I mentioned before my birthday is just a few days away, and I plan to break the big "C" drought. But not with the red head. MY bar nights are restriced to one or two nights every two weeks, thanks to my overnight schedule at panos.GOOD BOY.
Lastly my plan to move to NEW YORK is still in full swing. I wanted to give a shout put to everyone I met at the party a couple weeks ago, (boxer boi, lady croft,jason) Sprinfaerie it's always a PLEASURE with you. I was thirlled to see HOLLY back in da house. Hodown, held it down, you get big ups for beating off the ogre. Gotta go. I hate computers. peace and love.

After careful consideration and about two weeks of having a boyfriend, i dumped him. I told him that i did not want to hurt him and that we should not see each other they way we were anymore. He just moved to buffalo 4 months ago, and I am moving to new york in about 4 months.Life just ins't fair is it? Other reasons I came to this decision are He was too clingy. He wanted to hang out everyday and everynight. He would say shit like "we should get an apt together." I say "what?" he say "nothing". About five days ago I told him that I did not want him getting too attatched to me and that I am taking things a little slower than he was. three nights ago I told him I wouldn't sleepover and he looked as if he was aout to cry. hmmmmm? So On the two day break I had from him I thought it would be best not to string him along any further. And then there was the walk home last night. I had already given him the news earlier in the day, and he said he would join me on my out to a party. FINE! I mean the boy di buy me flowers twice in the matter of four days. And then I notice VODKA in his hand and he walks into my apratment, swigging it. I offer o.j. He finishes vodka at the party and then he strats hoein to beer. It's time for him to go home. On that lovely that took 25 mins from forest to potomac, I had to latch on to poor boy because he could bearly keep his balance. And thenhe starts trying to change my mind. We would stop on the walk home to have these talks everytime he could get someting out. He say's " You are the shooting star of my life!" and "I believe in love at first sight and that I'm falling in love." And then he starts beating his self up. Saying " I am just a speed bump in your life." And then he tells me "YOu are the man I want to marry." I say back "are you sure about that?" Leaving him ON his porch while he asks me not to leave him. I go back to the party. A half hour later he's bck to the party, and with another beer. I ask "what are you doing" he trys to explain and he can't. 15 minuets later and a little more talking. He walks off the porch and staggers home. NIce boy, sweet boy, fantastic boy, but not my boy. I hope he becomes happy.

Well alright. It's been sometime, it's been some complications,but i'm back and it's about time. I've missed updatig my lovely journal. So for those of you who were reading my journal, I've decided to "total Recall " on whats been happening with me and buffalo since Feburary. There has been other "straight boy" sessions (just one or two, not important, not important darlin). I am still working at panos, which i swear gets crazier and crazier everyday. And for all of you Sahara Grill fans ( the new restaraunt on bidwell and elmwood) Here's something for you to think about ( conversation between Boomsheeka and Bonqipha)

Sheeka: Girl you know some hussie walked all up in panos right, and she went and told the waitress that, her boyfriend got food poisin while he was sittin in his seat, from there food.

Qipha: what?

Sheeka: yeah talkin bout some ' I want this meal takin off my bill, because my boyfriend 's sick off of it'. Bitch they haven't even left the damn restaraunt yet and all of a sudden he sick.

Qipha: say word.

Sheeka: and then she goes on sayin 'I work at sahara grill' and shit and 'we don't treat our customers like this' call my girl who work there a bitch and all that.

Qipha: girl no!!

Sheeka: Yes hoe! So the manager tells this bitch that she will take off her boyfriends meal but don't bring yo ass back in here right. So the skank takes off with out payin her bill.

Qipha: mmm mmm!!!

Sheeka: girlfriend who worked there jotted down that bitches licsence plates number before she left the parkin lot and called the police, HAY HAY!!!!

Qipha: HA AH! can't wang wit it.

Sheeka: So I go there to eat about two weeks later with one of my (straight) boys right. I get my dessert to go. I open it up when I get home and take I spoon full out of the ice cream. I see a black hair before I put the spoon full in my mouth. I pull the blck hair and a long straight black hair comes straight out the middle of the whole scoop girl, and mind you theyonly gave me one scoop, cheap bastards.

Qipha: mmm mmm!!

Sheeka: never going back there again girl.

Something more tramatic tht has happen to me as of recent is....... I have a boyfriend!?!?! He's a red head, whose bought me flowers twice in the matter of four days. Whose adores me and lives four house away frome me (perfect booty call location). Sounds great right? It's what any starting realationship could ask for right? RIGHT! But maybe if he aint sayin shit like "I've searched my whole LIFE for you" Now we are all afraid of the "L" word too soon. But The other "L" word that we are afraid of seems to be a little less perminant than LOVE. LIFE is some deep shit. He also sy's things like "you are music to my soul" mind you I've only known this man a week and we had sex three times before our first date. " The only person I saw at the BAR is YOU" , " i want to get a bigger bed for US" and here's the really creepy one " I used to see you wlking down potomac and I told my roomate as i saw you 'that is the man I want to marry'". Why do theyhave to fallinlove so puick? Now don't get me wrong, I do like the boy, He's sweet, makes me feel special and is GREAT in bed. I told him of my plans to mopve to new york late summer, early fall, and he gets sad and says he wants to stick around. NO NO. So i guess we'll see how this boyfriend thing fits me. I've been asking for one and I finally got one. But I feel I'm lookin for a differnt fit. One thats not too clingy. S0 there it is BOOM BABY!!! news. I've missed updating and since my technical promblem is gone I will do so more often. So untill then Peace and love.

Oh I forgot to mention paris in tornto my first club night in toronto and the breaking of my sexual draught of 4 months. I LOVE TORONTO!!! chow.

Well.... I'm just going to get straight to the point, A dear girlfriend of mine invited me to move to the Big Apple with her at the end of this summer and I am more than considering goinig. I want to live fabulous darling, with a condo, super model servants and martinis in the morning. But I get worried of course, you see many, many men have braved this same journey I wish to embark. And Failed. Came runnin back home with their heads down and their tails between their legs. Crying, broke. NOt I though. When I move to the city with the crack headed case of insomnia I'm not coming back poor and shamed. HOney when I come back it's gone be a limbo, with super model servants and martinis on the road. I'm gone be smilin high and kissin babies. Yeeeah we gone party like jesus gave us a personal letter sayin "ya mutha fuckas only got 12 mo hours.". And in the mo-nin, get high! But I can't stay though, nooooo a mans got a lot of work to but I'll see yah soon wtih mo honeys, mo super model servants, and mo martinis in tha mo-nin, holla at cha boy! In other words if all goes right I will be leaving august 30th. Wish me luck!