Yeeeeaah so four full days of walking around newyork looking for jobs did some real damage to my precious body. My long and very lovely, dancer leggs are so stiff it has alterd my distnct and sexy walk. NOT HOT. My right knee has been sore for the past three days and I have never had knee problems. Oh please don't let this pain be in vain. Evey bar I go to has something way different about it and thats always fun. Last night as I was asking a store clerk directions to the nearest pizza place I noticed that his right was holding his erect dick and he was in mid-spoodge ( i hope thats the way you spell it). And what killed me is that the person who was buying things from him didn't seem to notice. The clerk wasn't old but he was ugly. still I think thats something that should be saved for home or if you really can't wait, maybe closing the store and running to the bathroom out of public sight. Just a thought. Gotta love New York for surprising you everyday. I'm not starving and I have a warm place to sleep every night so I'm o.k. It's funny because I can't listen to certain songs because it's makes me think about the people I miss back home and how happy i was with them everyday. My uncle died of a heart attack a couple days ago. So this week it's back to the drawing board or the streets of new york. wish me fuck.

There has been an on going debate in my head wather or not I really want to stay in new york. Nothing seems to be going right for me here thus far and I'm I think I lost weight. My cell phone is broken so I had to send it to the company to fix so Im phoneless. Whichdosen't seem to matter since none of my friends return my phone calls and there has been no jobs calling me back. I am doing the un-thinkable right now. I'm BABYSITTING a baby! But he makes my rent cheaper so you know, ones gotta do. I babysit little Cory twice a week and it makes my rent $240.00 a month and he's cute and fat. LAst week was declared the worst week of my life, I was deathly ill, my phone broke and I didn't eat for three days. Although I seem to no be having much fun here yet, moving back to buffalo seems like a bad idea, I mean yeah iI would be with my close friends ( who don't return my phones calls) but I would have to go bakc to that P place and I'm not sure I've hit that low yet. Another up note I did meet Mike Myers (Austin Powers, Waynes World) that was cool I am a fan of his. Anywho gotta go baby calls. Bye Bye B-lo.

Well so far this city has been like a bad boyfriend. Really good times, no sex, money sucking, and testicles. My first Newyork subway ride involved a great veiw of a mans testicles who was sleeping on the bench next to me. My first drink that night in times square was free by the bartender. Which was great considering a mudslide is $9.00, and i originally asked for a molson canadian which they don't carry in this city, much to my dismay. I guess it's too cheap a drink to order. So I stick to the lovely vodka on the rocks. Karaoke is major fun, especially when everyone at the bar including the dj loves you the whole night. It's been pretty warm so there has been ample time for walking around. I still have no job although I do have a modeling agency I hooked up with last week and who I have to go back to tomorrow to see the photos they took of me and get work. Cable T.V. is a lot of fun now. I will be honest it hasn't been all sunshine and bunnies here. Alot of stress finding a place to live, having a fat lesbian following you around for four days. Ok tell me how I don't even have a place to live in nyc and I already have visitors. Yeah thanks bitch, thanks for F-ing up my new years. I wanted to come home so bad it was sick and I was on the verge of leaking (crying for those of you who feel emotions). I still do kinda but only because of the people i miss and it would be a lot easier. But I'm here for a reason and the ones i miss the most I'm sure I will be with again. Terry let me just say not a day goes by. Sara, Paul, Matt, Mike send me hippie positive energy that I will do well here. I will be there to visit within the next two months. Unless there is a camping trip next month. I love and miss you guys more than you know. I Love NY.

P.S. I got hit on by two GAY guys. Things are looking up!