i F'd around and made someone jealous. But i knew it was coming. After a special midnight showing of anchor man, and a lot of booze. A friend of mine (guy friend) and myself decided to pop into the underground instead of the pink. Now this friend of mine and I are Highly flirtatious with each other first of all. we kiss, grope, and smack asses. So bringing him to the underground probably wasn't a good idea since the bartender was there (who I slept with a while back and who still has an attraction towards me i've been told). So what does he do when my friend and I walk in, well first he stares daggers at us. Then when my friend paid for his drinks the bartender slammed his change on the bar (happened more than once). Then he lightend up a little came over and held more conversation with me then he has my last four visit's there combined. So he assumed we were together and didn't like it. Some other bitch at the took it upon his self to go over and flirt with my frined while I was up singing a karaoke song. Yeah for some reason the bitch thought I wouldn't see it, but they were standing right infront of me. He went up to my frind "do you know what time it is?" my friend said he didn't know, I would have told the tramp that there is a big red digital clock on the goddamn wall. Then after my friends frist subtle shunn, the boy tried to brush his leg up against my friends leg and other region. My friend ignored it and continued to sing the song that I was singing with me. Now what pisses me off is that boy dosen't know if my friend was not my boyfriend or fuck buddy for the night. We have been sharing our drinks all night and pretty much ignoring everybody else including the bartender. So where does he get up the nerve to walk over to my friend during the 3 min song i was singing and try to get some ass from him. NOw I have flirted with peoples sig others and even done thing with them as we all know; but I was invited. This cunt wasn't. Fuckin horny acne faced, pasty ass trick. So after I sang one song we decide to leave and the bartender is at the exit having a cigarette. He says "you leavin?" I say "yup" but thinking "no shit". I pat him on the head and he watches us take off. My friend and I were not going to have sex, I knew that. I could have had sex with the bartender again. just becaue of the simple fact that I showed up to that bar with a hansome man. My friend even asked if I was gong to go home with the bartender. I said no. I was really proud of myself but now I feel kinda bad. I was thinking I should call bartender just to talk, because I am still attracted to him, or just leave him in suspense. hmmmmmm. I'll take the second option. what do you think I should do?

PInk with e peeps was fun as usual. I drifted off to metal at franks; which had more people but not more fun. I found out that a friend of mine has a little thing for jill (oooh weee). When I went back to the pink I saw no more e peeps so I really had no reason to stay. I sttod outside and hung out with tron (kurt). Met a guy that I saw on the fourth of july who thinks I make a "sexy girl". thats because I was in a bra and soak and wet like a sport illustrated swim suit model (mmmmm). Anywho he's straight and wanted me to stay at the pink to keep him company. I wanted to go home, He offered to buy me a drink if I stayed, I told him ok but went home anyway. I guess that was kinda F'd up but hey. I am trying not to get involved with these "straight" boys anymore. I want to make all these curious boys a shirt that says " I'm straight....but my penis isn't". That would explain a lot, since men seem to follow their penis instead of their heads anyway. Anyway it was a good night. Am I am debating going to the dance party tonight. But I am sure I will be there. I can never miss a dance party. So i will see you all later I'm sure. One more thing, do anyone have anymore flyers? I think it would be a good idea to bring them tonight.

Thanks to jill i am inlove with tilly and the wall. I have been searching all day for a sight where I could listen to their songs and I did. thats the link to it. I think everyone should try it out. and the website is sooo cute. It even has a "register to vote" link! Thank you jill!

hokay, so here is something that a lot of people seem to have; the ability to determine weather or not someone is gay by looking at them alone. A alam goes of in their heads called "gaydar". I don't have that. Whenever I see any guy gaydar goes off in my head. Which gets me into trouble. So I found a book called "GAYDAR" by; donald F. Reuter. I've read the whole thing and I will qoute some of the things it said and maybe it will help repair my baydar.
1. Straight girls are their bestfriends.
2. Things that would make him say "awwww".
- card stores especially around christmas
- plush pets
-in front of a window of a real pet store.
3. Things that make him go "eewwww".
- bugs
- roadkill
- flatulence
- female genitalia
4. words a gay man would use.
- divine, dandy, precious, delightful, enchanting.
5. the gayest sounding words end in "ous"
ex.- fabulous, marvelous, stupendous, pendulous
5. three "regular guy" jobs we wish were gay;
- fireman (sleeping arrangements, and that pole)
- forest ranger (bear lovers)
- gym teacher (duh!)
6. What gay men would have as body art
- navel ring
- prince albert
- tattoo above his butt
- a chain or vine like tattoo above his biceps.
7. Finally the music:
GAY MEN FAVORITE DIVAS:
- Donna summer
- bette midler
- Aretha franklin
- Whitney Houston
- Eartha Kitt
- Sara Vaughn
- Peggy Lee
- Grace Jones (which I don't understand personally)
- Madonna (duh!)
GAY MEN FAVORITE MUSIC VIDEOS:
- Vouge by: Madonna
- Love Shack By: the b52's
- Free your Mind By: envouge
- Groove is in the heart by: DEE-LITE
I hope this has helped you as much as it has helped me. If a guy you are not certain about carry more than two of these traits chances are he's gay. Thank you and good luck finding him.

I am in the middle of the divinci code now and I LOVE IT! I also would like to read the clinton book, so if boxerboi reads it before me write about it please. Late night lastnight led to wierd night night, which led to tired day. I thought of something creative that I have to give myself snaps for. When I was at the pink lastnight Tron said "one mans trash is another mans treasure". And I replied with "just like one mans penis is another mans pleasure". We all laughed and I thought of it right on the spot. I hope no one famous said that. My next entire will be about GAYDAR. Something that I lack and I hope will help me and help all of you who are not sue if the guy you are diggin is gay. I would have wrote it tonight, but I forgot my notes. So it will be up next time. Anywho keep safe all. And remeber love.

Foolishly enough I dreamed. i just wondered what It would be like with him. I let my fantasy actually take me into absurd actions. You and i are different. You prance your falming shit around and draw his attention. Now I am invisible. I had his spotlight before; and I became his star for one night. What I didn't know is once you are his star, the spotlight searches for another star to shine on. And mine is dimmed completly out of the light. Now I am just being paranoid right? No. He lives up to his reputation that is rumored. i should have know better. And that is not the first time I've told myself that. When will I learn. So what do I do? DO I confront him and ask him if he is slepping with me, then why is he slobbering over you? No. I finish what I am doing, leave, and let it happen. me against you? You win.

The first time I ever played that game, i played with some friends of mine and a girl I just met. The deal was If you picked up a certain card You had to say something that you have never done, It didn't have to be sexual, but they were. Anyway so after you say something you have never done, the other people playing the game has to drink IF they've done it. I felt like a slut. Because my friends were conservative prudes. And the girl stranger was a VIRGIN! So ofcourse fate had it that she would always pick up the never have I ever card and make me look like a whore! Thank you girl I got mighty drunk that night. And thank you trisha and springfaerie, it's nice to know that people are reading what you write. And also I find there is a lot of things I have never done now that i've read you guys journal. And I say we should tackle them together! Even the GIANT pumkin! Thank you again, peace and love.

Now i don't know why I didn't bring this up earlier, seeing that it is a very important part of sex to me. And thats touching me on my spot. The spot is the part of the body, that when it is touched in a sexual environment, it heightens the sensation and it makes you hornier than when you began. Tuesday morning i woke up next to a naked man (always a good thing). And during our sexual escapade, he ignored my spot. Now my spot cliche as it might sound is my neck. If someone sucks, kiss or bites my neck while we are fooling around it just sends me over the top. But as i was saying, we would make out you know kiss, kiss , tounge. I would leave his mouth and commence neck sucking mode. He dosen't get what I want him to do. I suck your neck you suck mine. So I would stretch my neck a little in his face thinking maybe that would catchhi attention. NOPE! So finially I broke down and told him to bite and suck my damn neck. Without the "damn". Then everything after that was peachy king. He gave me a nick name which I wasn't sure should feed my ego, or take it as an insult. Someone asked me my name at the bar, I told him "tk" (i don't know why I didn't use my fake one). anyway way he says back "like t.k.o.?" i say no just "tk" Then the bartender who I slept with added "once you take him home then it's ...... T.K.OOOOOOOOOHHHHH." Yeah fuck you thats what I said. I thought that was completly an asshole thing to shout out at a bar in front of 30 homos. Yeah he's kinda an asshole. I went home with him anyway. hey a mans gotta do right. he wants me to call him. I didn't before and it's not lookimg to good right now either. sorry.

I consider myself a person who has done lots of things sexually. But when I sat down and really thought about it there are a lot of things I have not yet done.
1. sex in a car
2. I don't swallow
3. Never even taken a shot in the mouth.
4. never taken a shot anywhere near the face
5. never had sex in the shower
6. never had a threesome with a boy and a girl
7. ummmm sex in a public place, and a blowjob on the porch does not count.
8. never tossed the salad
9. never sucked toes
10. never taken double penetration (yeeouch!)
And thats about it. I plan to some day in the near future tackle all of these missions so i can have more to talk about. Untill then peace and love always.

oh pink tonight! i will be there to join robin and liz. and ofcourse give robin a birthday shot!