What do you do when you meet that special somone, and they uncover their dark past to you? SHould you hold it against them? Should you try to forget about it? my answer to that is. NO and NO. Dont dwell on the past too much. Especially if it dosen't include you. But don't forget either. Keep that stored away in a little box. That way if their ugly past rears it's head, you'll be ready for it. And if you really love that special someone. Don't keep any secrets from them. If this is the one, then their past is just as much of their buisness as it is yours. Secrets leads to deception. And then lies. And the worst thing that could happen is that they find out the ugliness from someone else. So lay it all out on the table for them. It's easier. Because then you will know if they are truly yours. If they don't like it, then it's 'see you late bye!' Boundries are forbidden in a true relationship. Dont hold back girl. Go get him! The future is yours, and you must gobble it up like a buffet.

There is always this line drawn, seperating buisness and pleasure. The line should never be crossed you're told. But you can't help to curiously gaze at the pleasure side and see wahts over there. Then you start hanging out with co-workers to make tighter friendships. And then it happens. You begin to fall for one; and thats when things get a little spicy. NOw I have had a few experiences hoping the line. have fooled around and even had sex with co-workers. And then it's a toss up about how you would act together in the workplace.A couple turned out bad, and others turned out to be enjoyable. I always like to think I make the right decisions, and I have been in this situations many times. And when you become so experienced in something, and you look closely enough, you can see the foreshadowing before your curiosity gets the best of you, and trouble is started. This will probably not be forever (nothing is), so I think I will walk the path I have taken so many times before. Wish me luck.

I am a little late with updating about ho's party. Maybe I am still trying to recover. I haven't had a drink since then. But thats going to change tonight. anywho I had the best time there I've had since camping. Everyone were in good spirits and everything. We came up with really kooky ways to entertain ourselves. I don't think we still got the plural for octopus, but we did figure out that the plural for black man is gang. CLever huh? You see thats what enibriated minds think of. MIX cd was awsome. and now back to real life. love all

I am a proud African American male. I love being a guy because boy's seem to have more boundries than females. And I love to hurtle those boundries. And the hurtle I seem to take on the most is the "straight boy" hurtle. You see I run this track and field kind of life. I am always on the go. I think it was matthew s. who put it "well you're a traveling man tk." And yes I am. These hurtles that I leap come with all kinds of baggage. I mean girlfriends, Fiance's even WIFES! But they look so good and when I see theam looking at me, looking at them from a distance and then its "on your mark, get set, GO!" and then I'm off. And I'm thinkin I'ma comin to getcha. My first hurtle on this run is a nice one. He's giving me the flirty eye's and the pretty teeth. We playin pool and he can't stop looking at me. "what whose on the phone? you FIANCE!?" and he's leaped. My next one starts by buying me drinks,now he's rubbing up on me and feeding me tons of compliments and he's dancing with me "your so beautiful" he say's. "i live with my wife!" he adds. He's leaped. The next one's a real looker. He even had an accent. But theres something else in the running for this hurtle. But I make it there first and it's the same old bullshit just with a texan slur. I like it. This one wants me and the other runner. A little too much for me to handle right now. LEAPED! Sorry boys this track star is a on a mission for the prize at the finish line. If I run this relay again, we will meet again. Untill then. BITE MY DUST!

i don't want to make a big deal of this, but i must say how i feel. I'm obsessed with the way you wear your hair, and the way you prance in those heels.
But for some reason when wer'e together all we do is fight. I try to stay strong and stay away. But I can't because of what you are wearing tonight.
With those form fitting shirts, and thos fancy pants. And the way you look at me when wer'e holding hands.
You say we can't be together becaye the tension is too tight. But if you didn't want me to fall again, you shouldn't have wore that tonight.
We dance to a beat of a different drum, and I try to do wahts best. But if you didn't want this to go beyound tonight. Then you should have worn a different dress.

Everyone see's people they think are attractive. Theres a lot of people out there and one is sure to catc your eye. So what the hell, go talk to them; see what they're all about. If they don't seen interested ,don't give up soeasy they could be playing hard to get. BUT if they ignore you, or tell you straight up "no". Back the fuck off! There is nothing more annoying than someone who dosen't get the hint when you are obviously shunning them off. We know your desperate and HANDa isn't working as well anymore. But thats your problem. I will tell you the difference between determination and stalking.
If you ask someone for there phone number and they tell you no. So you give them your number just incase they have a change of heart. That's determinantion.
If you see a hot piece of ass walking down the street, you follow them and then beep at them but they are ignoring you to the point where they reach their destinantion and you sit outside beeping your horn for 15 damn minuets. Yeah thats stalking.
A hot young thing catches your eye at the bar and you want to get to "know" them but you see the vibes aren't mutual. So oyu decide to buy them a drink to see where it goes. Thats determinantion.
And lastly you follow your dream hottie down the street and trying to get their attention but you know they have better things to do than stop and talk to some asshole beeping and hollering from their car; and then you go to the extreme and show up at their job for another shot because their subtle rejection just wasn't enough. Congradulations, you are a class A stalker. Now this is not a stab at the lonely hearts of the world, because I am one of them. But I know my boundries, and you should too. It's common sense.

ALL OF MY JOURNAL ENTRIES ARE BASED ON ACTUAL EVENTS. NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED, BUT THESE THINGS HAPPEN, AND IT HAS - TO ME.

Now I consider mself a talkative person. Maybe even too talkative. I love to talk, thats the way I am, I have a lot to say. But thers a time to talk and there comes a time to shut the fuck up. For example where people should shut up is during sex, Too many times have I been in bed with someone doing my thang and they want to carry on conversation as if wer'e having coffee. I don't want to talk about your job, how your day went of your GIRLFRIEND(you'll be suprised). It's like oh I'm sorry ami I boring you? If s I will take it out and walk away. All I want to talk about is what position is next, and where can I cum. Now don't get me wrong I'm not what I like to call a necrofucker. I do my fare share of moaning and shaking my ass. But I beg you PLEASE, lets both get off and then if we have the energy ( because you might not fuckin wit me) we can talk about how bad traffic was this mourning. thank oyu

Everything seems to be falling apart back at home. People dieing, people hurting, broken doors. It was kinda hard to keep a cool head with all of that chaos going around. I tried to type a journal entry when i was in the falls but couldn't really think about the same things I normally talk about and someone thought it was inappropriate (step family). I say whatever because, when I write and write about the things I like it makes me feel better. And why is sex inappropriate? It's not as if I was talking about fucking my mother or anything. NOw thats nasty! I was going to write a little more about what I thoguht of monogamy, I even had it written down on paper, but some HO has my stuff and I forget everthing I write down. I was having a dicussion with my brother about his little mishap on staying true to one person and how he feels bad about having certain feelings for other females. So I told him if you think about it nature is not monogamous. A Lion fucks his mate for 18 seconds, and when he's finished he rest and gets up to fuck another. Dogs hump whatevers moving, and I even saw a cat fuck a dead cat in the road! Now are they wrong? Well maybe the cat is, but thats just the way it is. I think society puts too much pressure on being with one mate and one mate only. Now if you really loved the person and you have lingering feelings you two should sit down and talk about it. But Nate, don't feel bad about it, God did not put all this pussy on earth and expected you to only lick one. Shit you might as well because i wont be anytime soon. Nate love yourself and then you will finally know which path to take. All of those material items you have are not making you happy. DOnt go out and but another computer just because you are feeling bad aobut yourself, because you will still feel the same way as before with the exception of a new computer and more debt. Go get what you want and fuck those who think otherwise. I love you nate. be safe

Well well I start my second job tonight. After I get off at the movie theatre I have to go to panos and start working. I will be be a bus boy and a dishwasher. It will be really busy but I like it like that;I am a good hustler. So wish me luck tonight to hope everything goes well! Ooooh the life of doubles. It occured to me lastnight that we always seem to be unsatisfied with monogamy in a lot ways. One job is not good enough to get by and be comfortable, we always need another. So now i have a three way relationship with with MAFAC, and Pano. Woo Hoo! busy busy busy! Two firends of mine who have been together for years just decided that they want to invite someone to be with them. And not just for a night. Why is being monogamous so hard for everyone to deal with. What happened to finding your other HALF? Are we unsatisfied with the one we have that we must bring someone else in to spice it up or is it our raging hormones that we feel we can't share with just one person and this is the only way to do it without cheating and hurting the one we are with? It's hard work to try and divide your time evenly between two things you are totally commited to. You must make sure that everyone is open. If not, there will be one who feels that they are not getting enough. They will feel that they are being overlooked and you are more commited to the other one. Which maybe the case; I mean you will find the one that treats you better and suddenly you realize that this other low paying one is not worth the time they are asking for. Sure you have you'r reasons for staying with them also. But we all look for whats better for us, and eventually something will fail if you are not careful. Careful in the sense that you got yourself into this and there will always be other things out there that will grab your attention so your intrests seem to wonder else where. But don't get caught slacking because you maybe forced out of both situations you are in and you are left alone to start off from scratch. The life of double is hellishly hard work and I tip my hat to anyone who does it and does it well. onezies beats twozies but nothing beats threezies!

Now i would like to consider myself a pretty peaceful, loving person. But it occured to me today that I have fought just as many people I have fucked. Now you might think thats kind of ironic. why yes it is and it's true. Now I don't mean fight like bickering and exchanging harsh words, no I mean actual physical contact of fist, feet, and teeth (in some cases, hey you gotta do what cha gotta do). And I don't mean Fucked like in a little licky licky and a slight touching pee pee; no I mean actual penetration. So i will list the names right here online for EVERYONE to see how much of a slut and a fighter I could be.

FOUGHT: Henry, Ruben, Maria (yes a girl i admit), jacob, shay, shalia (two more girls), rob, cynthia (3), raymond (might as well been a girl), ladonna, (4 1/2), soloman, john r., julian (5).

FUCKED: Henry, Ruben, Maria, Rob S. (butchy), Joe, Josh, Matthew J., Romena, Gary (we all remeber king kong pecker don't we), Steve, Derik, Duane (D), Elton.

Got all that? Now you see that is thirteen in each category. And another observation you might catch on too is the matching of some names. Yes they are the same people, which are: Henry (my first boyfriend), Maria (my girlfriend/girl virginty taker), and Ruben. Some people are soooo difficult. Now that you know a little more about my personal information and you might have a tainted vision of me from now on, but i tell you this I do not like to fight nor am I a Harlot. But you better be damned sure that I am good at both!


BOO YEAH!