I made it to Barnes and Noble last night. The store (and parking lot) was packed. I waded through people to get to the book section I was looking for. After pulling a few selections off the shelf, I made my way over to an empty aisle, where I sat on the floor to read.

Purchase made, I then headed out to Elmwood Spot. I worked on my school project for a couple of hours over a caramel macchiato and a raspberry Italian soda. When I went to start my car, it refused to turn over. All of the dash lights glared angrily at me. I kept at it until the car reluctantly turned on. I drove to a well lit parking lot, so I could take a look under the hood. I checked fluids, sniffed around the major parts, and noticed a faint gasoline odor. It was hard to tell if it was coming from my car, with so many other cars and smells permeating the air. My car hesitates to start again..

Forward to: pulling into my driveway. What was once a very full gas gauge was now displaying less than half a tank of gas. I only drove 60 miles, which would be two and a half gallons, tops.

And the gasoline smell was strong.

Obvious deduction? Hole in the gas line. That would explain the tough start, the sputtering drive and the quickly depleting gas tank. Air in gas line will cause the sputtering and tough start.. gas can't get to where it needs to go. Maybe I am wrong..So tomorrow, I will call my mechanic and AAA to tow my car out there. I also need an oil change and perhaps they can look at my doors, as two of the four do not open. I would be satisfied with the front passenger door being able to open again. Not sure how to handle the "no car" situation.. I am sure my car will be tied up for a few days. Yuck, I hate being without transportation!!

The strangest part, it that I dreamt about it. Maybe there were prior signs of the car having issues before the obvious one last night.. and I just hadn't consciously attended to it yet. Whatever, just odd..

Weekend was otherwise good. Friday evening was very pleasant. A nice retreat from the crazy ass week I had. I love chaos, but sometimes I need to decompress, which is exactly what occurred. Brought back some balance. Saturday was busy with school work and self reflection and sniffing my car. Today, more school work and I attended an art show. Good times.

Now I am taking a break to write this post, before I get back to my project. I am sure that I am complicating it more than I need to and that I could scale down the intensity to a more sane level.. yet I choose not to. I enjoy putting effort into something I enjoy. I have my own standards that I reach for. This is particularly true if my interest is high, which in this case, it is. I love a challenge. I thrive off of learning and applying. There is something invigorating about it. I guess, I am a self proclaimed nerd. I need to figure out how I will target my cerebral energy once I have earned my masters. More school? Will I find a challenging job? Should I start my own business? That would be a great challenge.. I am creative, energetic, positive, willing, tenacious and have an entrepreneurial spirit.. so why not?Hmm.. but what?

I am not a complainer. I am a doer. If I sense that something needs to change, I begin a course of action to initiate the change process. Part of that is being aware for the need for change, and another is to devise an action plan. That is what I will do in the near future. I have some things to figure out, and I will. I intend to take a devoted amount of time and hash it out. Maybe I will go somewhere---camp or rent a room and just hide for a day or two and figure out a few things. No distractions. No e-strip :) Just my brain, a notebook and... *fill in blank*

On that note, it is time to get back to my project. I have a feeling that the effort that I am putting into it is going to pay off in some way.. just a feeling..

I thought I would share this with all of you:

"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that a bonus?!? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you go live in an old age home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start to work you get a gold watch on the first day. You work for forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for High School. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back, you spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm!! Amen" ~George Constanza

Sounds good..

Take care,
Carey