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Last Visit 2021-12-08 12:43:43 |Start Date 2005-08-29 22:47:44 |Comments 1,653 |Entries 694 |Images 1,640 |Videos 37 |Mobl 37 |Theme |

Category: quickies satisfy

09/30/05 11:40 - 55ºF - ID#35804

mental break

I have downed a ton of orange juice these past few days. I experience an intense desire for juice occasionally; usually before and during a cold. I managed to chug 64 oz on my lunch break today. Although I do not feel any cold/sick symptoms, I felt a bit sluggish all day..felt, “odd”.
Upon getting home from work, I just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep for awhile. I put in a movie and buried myself under covers, but did not fall asleep. A couple of hours later I got up to get ready to go out.
Instead I did the heap of dirty dishes vomiting over the sink and counter top.
I made dinner.
I had a glass of wine.
And now some red bush tea.
And watching the Simpsons.
I feel fine. I could get in the car; but I just don’t feel compelled to do so, but what I do tomorrow could be another story.

Sometimes, I just don’t care whether I stay in or go out. I am comfortable enough with myself to just spend an evening chilling at home. I moved out of my house at the age of 19. Moved in with a boyfriend for a few years, went our separate ways.. had room mates, ditched them, had some more, realized that wasn't working for me (I consistently pay my bills), and then took to just hacking it alone.. for more than a few years now. I function at warp speed most of the time, and it just feels really good to not do anything. I have a lot of school work due this week, so I must get up early-ish and get started. It is the last week of this particular class, and there is an intimidating exam. I think that is the source of my feeling ‘odd’. I must be stressed. When I am stressed I can be ‘quiet’. Ahhh, I have it all figured out now. Just had to write out my thoughts.

I am certainly not opposed to visitors, though.

Here are a couple of pictures from the Tiki Party that I did not include before. I had wanted to include them in a post well before this, but better late than never. Fire! Fire!





And upon request: the quirky picture of (e:theecarey), (e:ladycroft) and (e:leetee)

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Permalink: mental_break.html
Words: 407
Location: Youngstown, NY

Category: potpourri

09/29/05 09:41 - 51ºF - ID#35803

moolah and good grades

Rock on!!!
I totally aced my mid term exam. 99% Looking around, there were many B grades on this in the class, so I am intrigued with this.

I am psyched.

I got my student loan check today!

woo hooooooooooooooooooooo!

This girl can pay the rent and put gas in the car.. not sure what else to do.

I am not in the habit of spending money, since I am not in the habit of having an abundance; but maybe I'll get a little somethin' somethin' for myself.

or not.

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Permalink: moolah_and_good_grades.html
Words: 90
Location: Youngstown, NY

Category: potpourri

09/28/05 11:14 - 67ºF - ID#35802

not in kansas anymore, just my tents

I just finished up an assignment for class this week. I hadn't looked at it until last night. It was a paper that would be an address from me, as the CEO of an organization on the vision of the future. I found this oddly funny seeing as I had just had a coversation about this with a bunch of supervisory people at my work
[inlink]theecarey,22[/inlink] , in an interview of all places. Go Me.

I am not sure if I wrote it out as I should. I take artistic licsense in this one. Once I got started, I found I was having too much fun with it. I like it, so why change it?? We'll see if it is acceptable or not. I am young, have no major responsibilities, I do my own thing and take care of myself.. so I just go forward with what feels right. I have moxy..
this chick is not scared of anything.

OK, the wind is freaking me out a bit. It has picked up and I haven't taken the Sin Tents down which (e:drchlorine) affectionately refers to them as. I hope they don't blow away. But its supposed to be mad windy. I'd go outside to get them, but its dark and scary out there. There are hairy beasts lurking.. they'll eat me or something. I have a wild imagination, and can't bring myself to do it..

(e:joshua) if you see my tents out there in KC, bring 'em home for me, k?


I need bed. Dream land. I can't write coherently any longer.

good night
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Permalink: not_in_kansas_anymore_just_my_tents.html
Words: 266
Location: Youngstown, NY

Category: potpourri

09/27/05 09:45 - 65ºF - ID#35801

Try this:

My sis sent this to me. I think it is brain didn't skip a beat. Check it out:

Can you raed tihs? Olny srmat poelpe can.I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on !!
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Permalink: Try_this_.html
Words: 135
Location: Youngstown, NY

Category: systems thinking

09/26/05 08:32 - 69ºF - ID#35800

Move up or move on...

My typical morning routine involves rolling out of bed and into my car. I give myself just 10-15 minutes to get out of bed and off to work. Today I set the alarm a full hour earlier so I could prep myself for an early morning interview, which involves a panel of people asking very specific, scrutinizing questions.

Partially on curiosity, partially by peer influence, and mostly out of a need for a new challenge, I applied for an internal position. I did not prepare or even think about the interview. I went in and answered questions, encouraged discussion and candidly explained my professional game plan.

Really, who was interviewing who?

When asked why I want this position, I recall using an analogy. I compared the organization to a bus; a bus that is need of the right people in the right seats. I claimed that I am on the right bus, but not the right seat. Not only does a bus need to fill itself with the right people in the right seats, but to have those people stay on the bus no matter what direction it takes. Sometimes you get onboard based only on the destination. However, most destinations take many turns. This is where people are separated by the right people. I have been through a few twists and turns with this organization, I have seen it head in a different direction than I originally anticipated, and I have persevered.

I am tenacious.
I am driven.

My code of conduct is simple. It revolves around the desire to work hard, learn beyond the obvious, take action, think big, make changes, and most importantly: serve the clients to the highest capacity; to prepare each and every child with a developmental disability to lead a full and productive life. My value is compassion and respect towards others; animals, family, friends, consumers. That’s also quite a turn on, too.

I am impressed with and gravitate towards positive, compassionate people that make me think, make me laugh and make me want to know more. Again, pretty simple stuff. In the employment arena, I find myself not recognizing relationship boundaries. I enjoy a good rapport with my fellow coworkers and supervisors. There is no line as far as I am concerned. I tend to befriend those that I respect as workers, those that fit into the aforementioned criteria. This also holds true to my interactions with people outside of the workplace, both in who I gravitate towards and perceived boundaries. I like who I like.. it is often no more than that.. and then, sometimes it is...

Anyhow, the interview lasted about an hour. I sat at a large conference table with a bunch of others from various positions, who each asked me numerous questions. I was totally calm cool and confident. Nothing tripped me up, and although I could have elaborated on any one topic (and said so), I kept it to a minimum. However, there were areas that I elaborated on and even pulled the interviewers into a discussion. They know me, they know what I have done and what I can do.. and they know what I want.

Quantitative skills and job specifics can be taught and learned; not so much with attitude and other qualitative abilities. Organizations would do well to hire and promote based more on attitude than on specific skills. I have said all along that there are qualities and attributes an individual has that can not be formally learned.

I was asked where I saw myself in five years. I asked, “Well, what’s Steve (CEO) going to be up to?”


This further prompted an interesting discussion on my career path, being a leader, being impressed with my abilities both in skill and attitude.. etc. One individual kept piping up with impressive comments. Never one to consciously need a pat on the back, it sure felt good for everyone to verbalize their opinions of me… seeing as they were good ;)

Now I wait.

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Permalink: Move_up_or_move_on_.html
Words: 670
Location: Youngstown, NY

Category: adventure

09/27/05 12:36 - 78ºF - ID#35799

Saturday night objectives completed

Good food..good people..

Geographical points of interest: Kunis, Spot, Allen Hardware, Cathode Ray, The Pink (can't ever call it anything else!)

People of interest: (e:paul), (e:terry), (e:matthew), (e:mike), (e:jason), (e:joshua), (e:keith), and (e:ladycroft) (and moi!)









I loOooOOoOooOOove this picture! Aweeee..makes me feel all warm and fuzzy

(e:ladycroft) and (e:carey) having fun in Pinks bathroom. Here are a few more..





ahh, like a cherry on top, a suprise visit by the super cute and delicious Larson brothers ;)

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Permalink: Saturday_night_objectives_completed.html
Words: 118
Location: Youngstown, NY

Category: potpourri

09/24/05 04:08 - 72ºF - ID#35798

You come. Yes you. Dont be scared..

I love when I don't know what I am doing, where I am going or who I am doing it with; so my goals for this evening..

the tenative itinerary is as follows:

Shushied up- Kunis
Coffeeied up- SPOT
Liquered up- pearl street brewery or alternative brews on sheriden
and later..Liquered down ;)

(I insist on grammatical and spelling license-- see carey to english dictionary)

Any takers, give me a call 622-6639
the more the merrier.. always up for good oral intercourse

thats conversation, my dear pervs.

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Permalink: You_come_Yes_you_Dont_be_scared_.html
Words: 88
Location: Youngstown, NY

Category: dumb ass

09/22/05 06:36 - 76ºF - ID#35797

my needs

I must have hit a hot spot, as I am in my car and have wireless connection on my lap top.

I just wrapped up my mid term-paper-project

Wish me luck and fore sight to not procrastinate to this severity ever again.
but then, I love the intensity that pulling it all together brings; even if it is at the last second.

Now that i am at school, I just noticed the guy that holds my future of sushi in his arrogant hands. *death rays*-- but cut the check first. I need my $$$$$$$$

This girl needs sushi.. its been too long

hmm.. kunis
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Permalink: my_needs.html
Words: 108
Location: Youngstown, NY

Category: systems thinking

09/21/05 07:10 - 75ºF - ID#35796

what do you think of this?

in general or specific, what do you think of this.. a few brain cells please..

consider these quotes by Russell Ackoff:

"... improving the performance of the parts of a system taken separately will not necessarily improve the performance of the whole. "

"Systems thinking is holistic, it attempts to derive an understanding of the parts from the behavior and properties of wholes rather than derive the behavior and properties of wholes from those of their part."

I think so intensely about something, then I cannot get my thoughts into writing.

a quick primer: Systems thinking, focuses on how the thing being studied interacts with the other constituents of the system—a set of elements that interact to produce behavior—of which it is a part. This means that instead of isolating smaller and smaller parts of the system being studied, systems thinking works by expanding its view to take into account larger and larger numbers of interactions as an issue is being studied. It wounds wacked to write it like that, as it seems to go in a circle, but I love this stuff.

For example, when there is an issue, people tend to look at the immediate cause and effect relationship, where the reality is that it had a much longer time frame of reference that which was more likely the cause.

When you toss a frog into a boiling pot of water (I am NOT advocating this act, i am using a parable that demonstrates the idea), it will jump to get out. However, if you put a frog into a warm pot of water and gradually turn up the heat, the frog is not uncomfortable at all, and otherwise seems to enjoy it. It is not aware that it is in danger, until is is really too late. (gross, i know)
If you plug this into the foibles of many an organization-business-political-relationships, then it would show that we react to immediate and obvious needs and threats opposed to more subtle issues that are really part of the larger picture.

This is where a lot of blame comes in.. no one owns up to their ignorance and mistakes. People are corncerned with maintaining the status quo, being defensive and image conscious.

Make mistakes and learn from them. make some more.
Speak your mind, have a voice, but don't make it personal.
Challenge me. Challenge yourself.
Dont just do things right, doooo the right thing.
If it feels good, do it; but don't screw anyone over.

Then again, this might be just the hedonist talking in me.

thank you, I needed to mentally spew.

any thoughts?
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Permalink: what_do_you_think_of_this_.html
Words: 438
Location: Youngstown, NY

Category: dumb ass

09/20/05 07:32 - 71ºF - ID#35795

thee Careys laquacious post

I was excited to go to work today.

I had taken a couple of days off to prepare for and recover from, the party. I had only thought of having a party officially just a few days prior, therefore it left me with no time to shop, cook or get anything ready for guests. I have classes on Wednesday and Thursday, so that had left me with Friday evening and Saturday. Most of my parties are last minute and I can accommodate my whims just fine, but I felt I needed the extra time, and since I have a butt load of paid time off to use, I figured I would go for it. I also had family coming in and a mid term exam to prepare for. So with that, I had taken off Friday and Monday. Very nice..

I had been feeling blah about my position for some time now, but as of recently I have a freshened outlook on it. I do not know where this turn of perspective came from, but I am rolling with it, although a bit cautiously. I am not sure what the future hold for me there, but I should try to stick it out until I graduate next August with my masters.

I am open to anything...

I applied for a position that just opened up. I had people approach me all last week, inquiring as to whether I knew about it and whether I would go for it. It would be a promotion. I debated on whether to do it, then after speaking with a coworker/friend that I highly respect and after going into ranting details with (e:pyrcedgrrl), I just went ahead and applied without looking back. we'll see..

I have also had the opportunity for people who know me, extend offers of employment in the fields they work in. I am humbled over their high regard for me. It is always appreciated.

However, I want to make a calculated move. Not just jump into something just because it offers a few extra bucks. Intrinsic factors such as ability to balance lifestyle, use creative energy, tackle challenges, feel good about my job and excitement is more important to me than the extrinsic factors, such as the amount of the paycheck, although it certainly does not hurt.

To reinforce this, I pared down on some of my expenses. I dropped my digital cable. Actually, I dropped my cable altogether for the time being. Now I can catch up on renting movies that I have yet to see; I figured this will still be less expensive than a monthly bill, besides I can borrow movies from friends :)

This feels so junior high, and I might erase this before I publish it, at best I will get some clarification at worst it will add words to the 2 million mark, but here it goes. I don't often write or talk about relationship stuff but let me run something by the wonderful and intelligent people within e-strip. I find myself in the following situation frequently enough that I am bit perplexed.

How do you tell someone that you are not interested in them, other than friends? Everytime we hang out it is under the context of a friendly get together. But one day, he took my hand to hold and I internally spazzed out. I held it together for a few blocks to see if I would relax, but that just didn't happen. I am a bit emotionally skittish and I felt that my emotional space was suddenly closing in. Since then I have been a little reticent on getting together like we had been. Now, at no time had I thought I was acting or saying things that should have led to the belief that i am interested. I know I can be forward, but believe me, if I am interested, I will let you know. And it doesn't happen that often..or it takes awhile (funny thing I am kinda shy too). It isn't something I actively seek.
Now if it was a matter of physical attraction/lust whatever, that is an entirely different story. ahh, theeCarey's lacivious post.

So anyhow, nine out of ten times this is the case. The tenth time is when the situation is that I am interested and they are not. But that's how it goes.. maybe its karma, maybe i am just an a**hole.

I hate to find out that I have hurt someones feelings, I hate when people are mad, and I really hate it when they retaliate. or engage in stalk-like behavior.

This time I think I need to try a different approach, figure out what create this situation and then start doing something about it. I am all about owning up to my jack ass tendencies.

publish? erase? ..

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Permalink: thee_Careys_laquacious_post.html
Words: 807
Location: Youngstown, NY



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