"yeah for misery!!!" written by Southernyankee on estrip.org

06/24/04 02:21 - ID#34365

yeah for misery!!!

I have spent the last 144 hrs+ complaining and being ultimately miserable. First I thought it was because of a certain monthly recurring factor. In part I believe it was, but now thats done and I am still miserable. I have been this way for years now. Why wont I change the cause?
What shall I do? Terry offered consoling words: You cannot know happiness without experiencing misery. so, I write today to offer somewhat of a formal apology to all of those that I may have offended in the last few days and the previous 8 years by my toxic feelings. I am super sorry. Sorry that you had to witness or experience my bitterness. The memories are still there. I don't want to be 47 and still harboring bad memories from 20 years ago or 30 years ago. That would suck. Let these feelings be buried or burned. This shall pass as every new day has the opportunity to bring something good into your life - will today be the day for me? wish me and all others luck!

"If I go,Before I'm old.
Oh, brother of mine,
Please don't forget me if I go.

Bartender, please,
Fill my glass for me.
With the wine you gave Jesus,
That set him free after three days in the ground."
((dave matthews - bartender))

Permalink: yeah_for_misery_.html
Words: 220
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/12/04 12:06 - ID#34364

Flawless

song of the week "Flawless" - George Michael.
I heart him! This song was deemed "our song"...

"You've got to reach the other side of the glass
I think you'll make it in the city baby
I think you know that you are more than just
Some fucked up piece of ass
Got to be some way to make your way to the light (All the boys say)
Got to be some way, today, today, maybe tonight,
They'll see you tonight
Do you want a saviour, Say that you do,
You know you're wasted here,
And there ain't no miracles happening any time soon ..."

anywho...lots of other personal occurances "firsts" going on...
all i can say is my bum hurts!
I am sure my heart will be the next body part 2 succumb 2 the evil perils of a boy! i can't believe these unimaginable events are occuring week after week. what the hell is wrong with me? why can't i focus? they are all distractions. fun distractions in a sense but distractions nevertheless.
At least I have been on an alcohol break for 1 week + 1 day (well -1 day, I had a weak ((by request)) peach martini last night) hmm...If I had kept to my alcohol free diet my judgement may not have been impaired to drive 30 minutes south of the city for company. i wish i could buy or grow something to injest to rid myself of naive behavior. wish me luck!

i am excited about the festival or just saturday in general i suppose. hope to see lots of you out on the stri tomorrow!!!

Permalink: Flawless.html
Words: 267
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/04/04 02:15 - ID#34363

Yesterdays Horoscope

June 03, 2004
Libra

"Someone who's traveled quite some distance to indulge in the pleasure of your feisty companionship is about to make their presence known. Ready or not ... "

is this bizarre or what? i meet someone from my hometown GA, that traveled back to buffalo for just a weekend,the same night!
I always think these are just for entertainment & still do but I think its funny/crazy the coincidence. Scarry though, the part of ready or not. could be good or bad

Permalink: Yesterdays_Horoscope.html
Words: 83
Location: Buffalo, NY

05/09/04 03:31 - ID#34362

Farewell Tina, Reigning Spoon Queen

Missing Image ;(

Missing Image ;(

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Missing Image ;(

Missing Image ;(

Permalink: Farewell_Tina_Reigning_Spoon_Queen.html
Words: 30
Location: Buffalo, NY

04/22/04 02:11 - ID#34359

cirty hall in the city of good neighbors

These are pics the begin @ the Elevator Stops Here last Friday @ city hall

Permalink: cirty_hall_in_the_city_of_good_neighbors.html
Words: 34
Location: Buffalo, NY

04/19/04 02:50 - ID#34358

Freaky Squirrel

Permalink: Freaky_Squirrel.html
Words: 1
Location: Buffalo, NY

04/04/04 11:22 - ID#34355

Caffeine Addict

So I tried to kick the buzz! Too many cups a day ~ tsk tsk tsk...
I made it a week; I broke down friday-must consume coffee-must have large doseage. Here is my montage of the process...

The later effects of this cheating experience caused me to feel a hightened sense of "THE JITTERBUGS". This lasted for a few hours. I thought to myself, this is what being on drugs must feel like from time to time-uncontrollably twitching & shaking. But then as I had lunch that same afternoon at the local subway shop, I encountered a man, who was definitely on some snacks! He began to spew his rhymes - encouraging us to believe his skills. I preceded to sit down and eat and he wanted to tell me that he had a babay and wanted a penny for the babay while he spewed his rhymes louder mixed with his bouts of giggles.
For now, I will Just Say No.But thanks anyway! For I do not believe it is safe for me to dance naked in the streets yet even while smiling and passing out free flowers to passersby. More power to the next person who can.

So a day without the caffein is a lazy day for me. Vegging, Sleeping, etc.
I am looking forward to the warm sun filled days to bring back the vitality in me: biking, blading, walking in the streets(somewhat fully clothed,)playing in the grass, the philharmonic, jazz in the park, Fat Bob's Pulled Pork, street festivals, meeting people... The list goes on and on and on. As sleepy brown says: I can't wait!

Permalink: Caffeine_Addict.html
Words: 281
Location: Buffalo, NY

03/24/04 01:27 - ID#34354

fresh fushia creme

nothing really to say, sitting here doing my nails with the lovely color of "Fresh Fushia Creme" shortly after midnight; hiding out from online buddies...
i just felt the need to post - to post nothing. ???
sure there is stuff going on, when isn't there? but i guess i try to escape it all at the moment if for just a little while. problem is that little while i think has lasted 8 years and counting...

when will i end the pattern i ask.

hmm, i dunno, but i want to pacify this uneasy feeling with good food,(craving some sushi), great shoes(stilletos please), and gratifying sex.
all of which are unatainable by my own will to be good, be a good little girl!!!
I only fear that the moment i allow myself to indulge i will be stricken by some unforseen horrible luck.
oh well, so far so good - i have declined an incredibly enticing "booty call" in the past 5 days, i have somewhat stuck to my budget and did not run out on my lunch break to buy a pair of "f - me boots" on sale and I am not eating $10 sushi rolls : )

enough of me, i hope everyone else is ok; sometimes i think its selfish to think of myself when someone i know, or someone who knows someone that i know, or no one that i know personally is suffering or experiencing something tragic.

Permalink: fresh_fushia_creme.html
Words: 240
Location: Buffalo, NY

03/09/04 11:57 - ID#34352

More Camping Pics...

Here are the photos that I didn't get to post weeks ago...