what do I say?
so much swirling around.
nonsense mostly.
but recurring nonsense.
when does it go away?
what do I have to change?
i hate traitors/backstabbers/assholes!
but then again I put myself right in their path.
i suppose it's almost like standing on the train
tracks waiting for the #2 express (Bronx to Brooklyn)
to run me down.
why this behavior is permitted I have not figured out.
sure, some people don't feel complete with out daily
subjection to humiliation and anything that onsets overall
discouragement. but I don't think I do that.
perhaps I am guilty of it from time to time, but not daily;
or am I simply in denial?
that is definitely an ongoing fear; to live life in denial of things
that are right in front of you and that are ever so clear...
i think people are nice even when they aren't even close to it.
i think there is good in everyone. but what i keep learning the hard
way is that it isn't for me to find the goodness in others.
the hard way = me constantly getting hurt and then being mad
at everyone else (although,a good part of the time this anger which is directed
at the other party(s) is oftentimes highly warranted)
I am tired of putting myself @ risk for the sake of some twisted form of happiness.
true friends are just that: TRUE FRIENDS!!! through good, bad & ugly.
gosh, do I miss my true friends.
I miss meeting people who are truly sincere and recognize your sencerity in turn.
Fake SHit is for punks!!!