Category: relationships
01/14/09 10:03 - ID#47405
I've officially heard everything
I gave the connection a call to sort of touch base and firm up alternative plans. We exchanged pleasantries and she asked me what was going on. I told her about pitching in with a little homework. Somehow, and I still not sure, that transpired to being very strange in her eyes that I don't compartmentalize my time with the kids. She managed to take what I thought was a laudatory concept of helping my daughter build a project for school and turn it into I haven't moved on, is there room for somebody else in my life, I'll never take the time to get to know her (let alone she with a grown kid hasn't done that yet either) and to conclusions so vast I don't think Evil Knievel could have jumped them. She went on to demonize my ex for "having her cake and eating it too." The whackjob alarm is still ringing in my head. It was her day off so it was okay to play. She is off on Saturday night so that is the next window, but I'm the one with scheduling issues? What the hell. I could feel flat out anger rising in my voice and I don't like being that guy so I as politely as I could muster, left the conversation and angrily ate a few pretzels in front of an office re-run on TBS
I've heard of people getting criticized for not doing enough with kids and I never thought I'd catch hell for helping one of mine with her homework. Parenting isn't one of those things you shut on or of without messing the kids up. We've never had any real firm borders in that we believe we are doing it together.
Apparently, that caused her to reveal of mass of insecurities. Me, I'm thinking if this is how it's going to go, the first real date isn't worth planning. We haven't even been in each other's physical presence yet and already this turn has been taken.
So, it was over, before it began. So, I don't stuff my kids into a box during the week only to play with them on Fridays. Never thought I'd catch hell for being an active parent.
You win, Universe, I've officially heard it all now.
Permalink: I_ve_officially_heard_everything.html
Words: 478
Location: Buffalo, NY
Category: food
01/11/09 10:08 - 18ºF - ID#47365
No Reservations
That said, maybe I've seen too much tv being made, promoted enough stuff with prominent folk, whatever, but it doesn't rev my engines that the Travel channel has come to down. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad we're getting some love and hopefully native guides will get Bourdain to places like Marco's on Niagara St, Betty's, the Anchor Bar (for the history since Duff's makes better wings) and places of that ilk. I like Bourdain's writings and the show is great as he isn't interested in kissing anybody's ass in particular. Any chef with an such a public appreciation of the Clash and Ramones is a good guy in my book, but the hubbub of a production isn't something I guess I would seek out. Don't let me rain on the parade if you are up for that sort of thing. But after one time, watching tv being produced in such locations can be about as exciting as watching somebody else play video games. Your mind can't help but wander a little. I've taken to watching other people watch the famous people, it's a more interesting take on the situation.
That said, somebody take Bourdain to Lagniappe's.
Permalink: No_Reservations.html
Words: 269
Location: Buffalo, NY
01/10/09 02:37 - 22ºF - ID#47351
Why?
What is it about the Thirsty Buffalo that has young morons parking expensive cars across driveways? I chuckled as Verizon had a beemer towed away last night.
Why is it when it is snowing and the same amount of snow is on both the street and the sidewalk, people inevitably walk in the street.
Why haven't I learned that when a television director says he wants 3 hours for filming stand-ups in the Rainforest, he really means he wants 9 hours all over the friggin place?
Why did a representative from one of the local city agencies tell me entirely incorrect misinformation about a gathering at the Library thursday night? I did a lot of prep work to talk to people who were apparently fictional.
Why is it when going down a narrow street people are either slow to give ground or hang up the phone? Both of these happened on Lancaster the other night.
Why did it take so long for Edrito's to return? I ate dinner last night felt immediately better. Nothing like a really well prepared selection of tacos with fresh stuff to make you forget about the week's travails.
Why did this week take so frigging long? First week of everybody back and it seemed to go on for a staggering length of time.
There, that's better.
Permalink: Why_.html
Words: 229
Location: Buffalo, NY
Category: work
01/07/09 03:48 - ID#47322
No cover sheet on my TPS report
Had a day off from well, everything, on sunday and I think it was just odd enough that I'm just out of whack in general. The surreality culminated in running three different photo shoots at work. One was a photo shoot for the hostess of a kids tv show produced out of Fredonia. One was a tv segment for local cable that was in and out in 45 minutes. The biggie was a thing that might wind up on the Discovery Channel. Everybody on that crew was local, except the director. He was an out of towner who was gracious enough to buy lunch. The host and I went into the project with one set of expections and things grew and grew, with a four project stretching into hour nine by the time it was all over.
Playing traffic cop had its moments. The big cable crew had a lot of nice toys including $60,000 in hd equipment that I was scared to touch. By the time the snow started to fall around 4 by the river otters, the glamour was off. The otters however thought the boom mic was a treat instead of the worst pinata ever.
That stuff leaves everybody whipped and grumpy. An associate and I were marooned till close to 7. Not that big a deal, but after 11 hours together, the closing of the car door is not the worst sound in the world.
The 2 guinness' with dinner made life grand, but today started mighty soon. I'm working on an advil stupor as getting out of the car left me with a bruise on hip. The only real damage is to what's left of my dignity. With all the freezing rain and what not, things are little frozen. Nothing had come through the section of the park where I usually abandon my car. Got there, opened the door and promptly slipped, hipchecking my car door way on the way down. The "fun" of making tv yesterday reduced me to a Sabres watching mess on my couch last night, skipping yoga and with a bruised hip, I ain't feeling tonight, but I'll probably suck it up. Can't fall behind.
That is unless my insurance company induced headache doesn't clear. The kids are currenly under my ex insurance only as mine barely covers me very well. When I was still in the throes of cabledom, we had them covered by both employers. This is a fine plan, because it leaves nothing to chance except the complete and utter incompentency of billing department staffs in the respective medical practices. They solve the policy process by billing the parent's acct by when in the calendar year each parent's birthday falls. With my February date, my policy came up first. Inevitably, they fuck that up, but I digress. Apparently, the dental folks I had with the cable kingdom never sent any cessation letter, so the current carrier thought we were double dipping. So, you can imagine the series of emails, phone calls, and what not, compounded by my frustration at people reading some of what I am addressing so you get to say it twice. I am certain that this is why prices are insane.
Reason why you shouldn't take too long writing a journal: My dad sent me a note (so he could talk to me and my sisters at the same time) that his brother passed away last night. I didn't really know him that well. He was roughly 8 years older than my dad and lived in and around Jersey for as long as I remember. So, it feels a little weird. I'm sad for my dad a little bit, but I think he is a little relieved. My uncle had both a really bad run with Parkinsons and a number of strokes that have left him existing a lot more than living. So, it's one of those you're not sure what to feel. Lord knows I've been through enough services within the past 12 months, and you're relieved that you don't have to participate in this one, I feel like there is something I should be doing, writing, whatever, but I guess a nice letter to my aunt will suffice. Strange how that all can work.
I'm taking anither aspirin
Permalink: No_cover_sheet_on_my_TPS_report.html
Words: 713
Location: Buffalo, NY
Category: random
01/03/09 09:38 - 21ºF - ID#47271
Reheated Leftovers
Lesson two? Breathe regular. I'm in the middle of a well deserved long weekend. I took advantage of that and caught a mid day yoga class at the elmwood studios. I'm sailing along and got a little discombobulated and spent a little time getting recombobulated. When we hit the final sit up series, I nearly dropped like a stone. Never been tagged by a dizzy spell like that before. Made a slick recovery, but had a headache for the rest of the day for my troubles. Woke up this morning fine, so I don't think I blew any fuses.
Prior to that, I made a stop at the current location of the DMV to get enhanced driver's license information for me and permit info for my darling eldest. That makes me cringe.
Insanely nice time at the 24 on NYE. Thanks again to PMT for letting run amuck in their confines. It was great to meet (e:iriesara) and her man for the first time. Great to see our noted world traveler (e:ladycroft) and her man. Thanks again for the book, LC. I was actually thinking about that one last time I was in Talking Leaves. I enjoyed every silly minute of the shenanigans.
It was a nice breather. I think I journaled about my own Dad being the latest to need Roswell's services. He was biopsied earlier in december and had type b lymphoma. Roswell, with either a twisted sense of irony or humor, relayed this news on Christmas eve. So, we have that to think about. His treatment regimen cranks up in earnest in a few weeks.
Poured my self a drink. Anyway, also had to ask the folks to think about something else. i didn't go to their house on Christmas Day, but they did invite my brother-in-law's sister. Of the three times I've met her, the phrase raging asshole popped into my head and once out of my mouth. So, I put the question to them about if Sister Crankypants merits an invite, how about letting the mother of your grandchildren out of the penalty box? I have hated being the conduit for activity since my divorce. I drank the one big happy family kool aid right away and truth be told, it seems to be working, but too damn slowly. She and I have always been able to talk and her family went through great pains to show me that I was still a part of the team. Mine has been a little slow on the uptake. They are getting there, but a more stubborn bunch of irishmen I don't think you'll ever see.
I put the question to the rents to just extend an invitation. The ex might not take it, but the extension might make my world a little easier. She was there for 15 of them so it isn't like this would be something new.
Want to do it for the kids sake as well as our own. We already lost her dad this past year and my mom had her own drama last fall, so it seems sort of silly to wallow in leftover nonesense. Me? I'm just sick of being the perpetual middleman.
My daughters seized on all this to rag on me about my apartment being too small. They have a point, but I don't have first and last to give somebody at the moment. Lease runs through April. If any of you are renting a 2 to 3 bedroom place, let me know. I might be in the market.
Lesson three:go get another drink, class dismissed.
Permalink: Reheated_Leftovers.html
Words: 625
Location: Buffalo, NY
01/03/09 09:10 - 21ºF - ID#47270
Love Reign O'er Me
It's funny because you can see on some shows like this. Audience types are prone to playing to the camera, but the honorees box was into this one. Very cool. Reminds you of how powerful music can be when it done right.
Here's the original for reference
Still one of my favorites.
Permalink: Love_Reign_O_er_Me.html
Words: 127
Location: Buffalo, NY
01/03/09 09:04 - 21ºF - ID#47269
Dammit!!!
Permalink: Dammit_.html
Words: 18
Location: Buffalo, NY
Category: random
12/29/08 10:05 - ID#47209
Holiday Hangovers.....
While the holidays are great, they also exhaust me. There is the mad prep, the juggling of egos, the balancing of which out of town visitors need to see the kids next, the guilt (imagined or otherwise), so it was with a sense of relief that I walked from my mother-in-law's place back to mine on Thursday night. Without prompting, the kids pronounced themselves "happy" and I think my ex and I both exhaled at the same time. I took them out to my folks on Christmas eve to be feted by my folks and siblings. She did likewise Christmas Day for dinner. The five of us got together Christmas morning and I think it was my favorite part. Nobody was on their best behavior and I mean that in a good way. That was fun, getting to see them show off their new wares.
Work on the 26th was surreal by comparison. Everything is open, but a large contingent of my department takes a good chunk of their holiday this week. The commute is a quick one, and downright deserted on Friday. Ten minutes this morning and that's including a stop at Spot to caffeinate.
I'm not complaining, but it is good to be the marketing guy. You get a lot of gifts that, well, swish. Two bottles of Bully Hill's finest from one of the radio groups, two bottles of local stuff from one of the tv stations, a case of guinness from my brother in law, and a case of Sleeman's Dark Ale from my own brother. My mom gave me a couple pounds of coffee. Together that is a metaphor for something. I'm just not sure what.
Order my Secret Santa thingy, what will officially be the last Christmas gift of the season -- Hope it makes it in time for the festivities for Wednesday evening.
The clock across the hall is chiming different christmas carols at the top of the hour with all the style and verve of dentist office muzak. Is it bad that I want to take to the parking lot and run over it a few times with the little bull dozer?
Yeah, probably.
Would have thought for sure that yesterday's winds would have hit my block. They did last year. I seem to remember wrapping the final presents pre-christmas by flashlight. At the height of yesterday's gales, I was searching for a good football game since the Bills were playing and number one son was gaming on my pc. We like our power.
The alarm clock went off this morning and my first thought was toward a nap.
I'm tired. Think I'm long overdue for sammich from the old Pink for dinner.
But I'll rest up for the (e:strip) balldrop (no, not a euphemism)
Permalink: Holiday_Hangovers_.html
Words: 466
Location: Buffalo, NY
12/23/08 10:52 - 29ºF - ID#47163
Those rumblins
So, about 50 minutes into the 90 minute class, during one of the quietest parts of class, my stomach announces in a large voice that it is yiddish
OYOYOYOYOYOYOY!!!!!!!!!!
It's hard to stretch constructively and laugh at the same time.
Permalink: Those_rumblins.html
Words: 88
Location: Buffalo, NY
Category: random
12/22/08 07:50 - 17ºF - ID#47144
Monday Post-its
Call the ex and kids to see if all was well, if they needed anything, only to see them zipping past me on their way back from Wegmans.
Netflix resumes with Dr. No, excellent.....
Blew off Yoga tonight as Elmwood is still a mess. I didn't want to come out and guess which drift is mine.
My boss called to say we were closed this morning at 6:15. It was early enough that she didn't remember about caller id and was a little bumfuzzled when I greeted her by name. At that hour, something is closed or somebody died. Worst part, that was just long enough that I was UP, and contemplating the best way to avoid the mess on the "S" curve.
Still wondering what the Park ring road will look like tomorrow. It was an adventure leaving on midday Friday.
Saw an idiot driving down Lexington last night when I was taking number one son back to Mom's. If your pickup truck is fishtailing like that, it might be a sign that you are going too fast. If you continue to drive like that down a street without a lot of room, it might be a sign that you are a moron.
Sudden snow day meant ironing got done, laundry got done, trash got taken out, tree was put up, dishes were washed and the shelved stocked. At this rate, I'm looking forward to work on Tuesday to slow down. Did I wrap anything? Nope.
Got the Sabres game on in the background. I'm pretty sure that the Versus network couldn't cover a ribbon cutting very well. Announcers are talking about everything except well, the game in front of them.
Got to buy one more thing for each daughter and I'm done!
I paid bills today too, on a Monday, oin the daylight!
Unexpected napping opportunities are downright blissful.
Rented the lastest "Guitar Hero" over the weekend and had a blast with number one son. I'm scared of the Primus, but thankful for the Jane's Addiction and Wings. Guess that is another in a series of factors that make me old.
Great time at the holiday dinner last week and I'm looking forward to the annual PMT ball drop next week.
Not sweating Christmas, eager for boxing day!
Permalink: Monday_Post_its.html
Words: 418
Location: Buffalo, NY
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You say you went over to your kids house to help with their homework. If I heard that the first thing I would think is well this person has to help their adult kid with home work, um that is just messed up I wonder what issues are going on there. Then my next thought would be oh yeah that is right it is a kid who lives with the other parent. That would lead to wait why can't the parent the kid stays with do it. Then that leads to all kinds of thoughts like the person is still in contact with the ex, the kids are way more important then the parents own intersts. Maybe home work in the excuse to go have fun with the ex. As A guy I can see why a chick might flip out. If homework was more importent then me then do I want to be with this person. Two other factors, there are a lot of parents out there that don't help kids with homework they do it for them (mostly projects). Some parents think that the only way a kid will learn is to do things on there own. If she had a kid and her parenting style was a lot different then yours then you wouldn't have gotten along anyways (for a sort of example of this watch Wife Swap). I get why you are upset though, having someone attack your parenting would piss anyone off (again if any of you who don't have kids don't get it, go watch wife swap and see some real life example). Hopefully the next person you meet works out better.
Serioulsy I was tempted to open a match.com acct with my leftover debit card, but then hesitated at the very thought of the mania of desperate people looking for some warm body for V-Day.
I'd just wait until March.
Internet dating is viable. Never know what and who you will meet, but it is good to have all options open. Perhaps if you had met this woman elsewhere, it would have been awhile before this nugget of weirdness arose.
And to that, glad you turned her away. There are plenty of people who would have kept at it for all the wrong reasons!
You dodged a bullet my friend.