While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher, who's hand was caught in the gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Palin and her bid.

The old rancher said, "Well, ya know, Palin is a Post Turtle'".

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.

The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle".

The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain. "You know she didn't get up there by herself, she doesn't belong up there, and she doesn't know what to do while she's up there, and you just wonder what kind of dummy put her up there to begin with".

Every once in awhile, plans can go awry...or even pumpernickel. I had a meeting to go to in Niagara Falls yesterday afternoon. I was sort of looking forward to the meeting, not for it and of itself, but for the chance to get out of the office.

Yesterday did look a little gloomy, but no ride can't be made better by cranking up the Ipod expodentially. The gathering was at the Hard Rock Cafe (franchise, I know, but hey it was a change from boring old conference rooms). Being a semi-frequent visitor to that area, I remembered that after Labor Day, some of the parking gets cheaper, like along Goat Island and places like that. We got directed to the three lots closest to the Hard Rock to park. I zip across the street and promptly get hosed for $10.00 (!?!?!) for access to not awhole lot. No street parking and the other option was to pay the ten spot to the flag waving monkey on the other corner. Mumbling, grumbling and cursing a little like Popeye, I parked. I was 15 feet from my car when you hear that tell-tale thump, thump, thump. A couple of seagulls with digestive issues opened fire on my car and the one next to it. Perfect! There was a freaking relief map on my sunroof of bird poop.

That yanked any enthusiasm I had for this gathering before it even got off the ground. Forgot to chime in much or just didn't want to network much until the end of the meeting, when the lovely people at the Hard Rock Cafe announced food and drink to end the meeting. Hard Rock has Guinness! except yesterday. I made due with some comlimentary Stella Artois and some stuffed mushrooms. Nice combo. Made me quite content will gathering strange looks at Delta Sonic. Guess the grey skies made them think nobody would wash their car yesterday.

Now, I just got to replace the missing (e:strip) bumper sticker on back. Got any left, Paul?

I was looking at these and wondering what you "wash'em" down with, a shake made of lard? Notice nobody is picking them up












Got to admire the plentiful availability of after dinner smokes too :)

outside my apartment late on a Sunday night.

I was basically spent yesterday. I had an event at the Zoo that I was the big cheese Saturday afternoon and evening. It was basically 7 hours of running around the grounds that I knew was coming but didn't make it less painful trying to hang through the B-52s (but I made it).

Woke up yesterday feeling like somebody beat me up, but muddled through. Went to one meeting, Wegman's and stumbled home. Alternately watched & dozed in front of the Bills game. After Brothers & Sisters, I put my carcass into bed. Just as I'm settling into that nice feeling of sleep getting ready to overtake, my intercom goes off. I stagger into the living room thinking who the hell would be calling at 11:45 on a Sunday night. Turned out to be one of the more "colorful" residents of the neighborhood who, aside from being three sheets to the wind, was ringing doorbells asking (I kid you not) for help "Getting back to Lancaster." Sure, I'll open the door and give you money.....NOT. I politely declined the offer, but she went to the next door and rang a bell, promptly picking a fight with the next respondant, screaming "What's Wrong with you?" into the intercom. I'm thinking the bastard didn't want some fool ringing his doorball late at night but I'd just be guessing.

She stomps off and within seconds I hear cops arriving. With lights flashing on the Delaware side of my building, a metro cop car and a regular buffalo cop had pulled up and were questioning her. Don't mess with my building mates. It must have been a slow night because while this was going on, FOUR more Buffalo cars showed up. I suspect largely for the entertainment value, but you can't help but think ugly thoughts. Yeah, the woman was disruptive, but there was no way 5 to 7 Buffalo guys needed to be standing around. Scenes like that can make your sleep deprived imagination run truly amuck. One guy talked her down and sent her on her way without incident. Thankfully.

John McCain cancelled on Letterman in yet another series of brilliant decision making. Apparently you don't phone it in to Dave. So much do even Keith Olbermann was quiet.

This is so cool. This is a ride on the Crystal Beach Comet. The Comet was king back in the proverbial day around here. Crystal Beach's Amusement Park was king around here before Darien Lake got serious. This was my first serious coaster ride, lord knows how the camera stayed so still, but the video is the real view from the front seat.

I went out to BJ's tonight to pick up a few things. No big deal, went to the self check out and took care of business. I was expecting four singles and some change. Pocketed both four bills and change without really looking. Drove home and pulled out the results of my transaction. Where four singles were supposed to be, four fives were sitting there. Some rhodes scholar filled the single dispenser with a few fives. Of course, I have evil thoughts as my groceries were paid for and I was more than reimbursed for shopping. Almost immediately it seemed like cartoon angel and devil appeared on my stressed soldiers. "You deserve a break", etc. My desire to be a good guy shouted down the lil devil

I called the store and reported the error. The manager was a little gobsmacked. "Not many people would have done that" says she. "I'm a special kind of dork that way." Damn parenthood forcing my conscience into setting a good example.

I haven't done a whole lot of traveling for my employers in recent years, but had the occasion to do so this week. The Association of Zoos and Aquariums (doesn't that just say "Order enough kegs" to you) had their annual get together in Milwaukee this past week. I was one for the local folks to go. It's a typical trade show (free crap) and sessions on various subjects. The trade show days ended usually in happy hour opening up on the exhibit floor. I've never seen such happy account executives in my life. The dour son of a bitch who was hard-selling me on a new amusement ride for the Zoo discovered his personality floating somewhere in the bottom of his bottle of Miller Genuine Draft.

The journey made it equally as interesting. The Transportation Safety Association goofs always make airline check in a treat in their never ending pursuit to at least look like they are accomplishing something. What they expect to find in the pricey loafers of the guy ahead of me is at least as troubling as what they would do if they actually found something. George Carlin was right. This is all for show. After watching them successfully wrestle my bottle of Purell to the ground, I was off on Monday. To save the Zoo money and be a good soldier, I booked via Orbitz and Northwest was the only airline that made any sense to book on. Us Air flies to Milwaukee via Atlanta? No, thanks. Northwest used to be pretty decent back in the proverbial day, but they are apparently the bastard stepchild at the Buffalo airport. You get the impression they aren't really trying.

I got to my gate only to see the plane that Wrongway Feldman landed on Gilligan's Island. At this point my boss walks up, being on the same flight. The thing was dumpy enough it made me wonder who had to wind the rubber band before we could take off. They asked for first class passengers to board and people did. Can't imagine springing for first class for a short flight when first class is like yelling "shotgun" when you are getting into the folks old station wagon.

We arrive in Detroit sans issue. I thankfully got an exit row seat. If you have ever gone through that airport to make a connection, MrMike's rule of air travel comes into play. If you land at gate A11, your connection is at A69 and you have twenty minutes to get there. This rule came true once again on Monday, made it with two minutes to spare, only to find the waiting plane was even a greater jalopy.

But we arrive in the land of Miller Beer and Cheese sans incident. The gas crunch has made the airlines into penny-pinchers in silly extremes, offering water in what looked like a saucer. I know Northwest has other runs and planes that look like Fred Sanford isn't at the wheel. Looking at them both, it just gave me pause.

I was a late addition to the Zoo's traveling party and I think lucked out because of it. The rest of the gang was at the Hyatt, attached via Skywalk to the convention center. I was seven blocks away at the Intercontinental. Those are nice. A single room with a sitting room, each with a plasma screen tv. It was sort of good to be a misanthrope when the work day was done. I liked getting to walk to and away from the proceedings. You get to know stuff that way. Apparently, my NY city death stare still works like a charm. The moment I was able to drop the commemorative tote bag and just explore at night, I was asked which way to the brass Fonzie, which after 3 days I had down cold. The statue in question is a lifesize brass statue of the Happy Days hero (lot of tv references in this post).

I had a late public relations meeting one night and was walking back to the hotel, but wanted to find something non-Hotel like to eat. I stumbled into Mo's Irish Pub, where the denizens were celebrating it being halfway to St. Patrick's Day. After three days of Miller Genuine Draft at every reception, it was nice to get a perfectly poured pint of Guinness, even if it confused the hell out of the Texan watching the Football game next to me.

So, it's not a big tourist destination, but the city reminded me a lot of Buffalo if we spent our money productively instead of suing each other over everything. They took us to the Milwaukee Zoo which was pretty great, but hell, I was amused watching the dome of the Brewers Ballpark open up on the ride out (four different parts). Was also interesting being in a swing state where the election matters. There was a huge Obama office prepping for the candidates visit this week. I did my part by popping in and buying two buttons.

Two more ramshackle flights and a backpack full of swag, I made it home. I actually won a Nintendo DS and an Ipod Touch from a couple of vendors. Whoever cleaned my hotel room got a Chicago Zoological Society Wine Glass and some other sundries. Some things don't even merit being lugged home, even if you are flying what was charitibly labeled "coach."

Back to the office

Greetings for the land of cheese, e-strippers.

I come to you live from the most unexotic of destinations....wait for it......Milwaukee. The occasion, the annual gathering of the Association of Zoos and Aquariums. After flying from Buffalo, via some vintage aircraft of Northwest and cheap shuttling my way to my hotel, at least I'll be confortable. I drew a room at the Intercontinental dowtown. A single suite with multiple flat screen tvs, posh all mighty.

The show gets seriously going tomorrow, but I trekked the six blocks to the convention center to get the ubiquitous tote bag and name tag that says "Hey, I'm a tourist!" Every screen I pass shows today's depressiing financial news. (e:jim) writes of being able to buy a house and save fore retire. I think I had my one shot at the house and am stuck thinking of more imaginative financial wonders with a kid supposiedly off to college next year. After some tough academic sledding in recent years, I'm beginning to think it might be better for my darling daughter to go to ECC for free for two years and get used to the workload and then transfer to some place to truly set the world aflame.

Meanwhile, my jaunt today is pretty benign by estrip standards. The second plane landed in Milwaukee and I would have sworn we landed at the Boulevard Mall. The route to baggage claim is lined by an Auntie Anne's, Borders, Spencers and a Starbucks. I know that is the way of the world but the layout was too similar.

Off to a marketing meeting at the Harley Davidson Museum.

I don't know if it is omen for the week or not, but given that I have a five minute commute with the lights to work. It was a little odd to see accidents at Gates Circle, Delaware & Rumsey and Delaware & Nottingham this morning. The last one was the worst, with both cars looking not unlike twice baked potatoes. One was a Yaris and that isn't much of stretch. But still, awful lot of bumper cars in a short space. First full week of school has the area driving crappier than usual.

Watched the Bills game yesterday from a much better perch than the previous three years. Instead of standing in the rain at the stadium, I sit in a comfy chair at my Dad's with drink and snack. Whereas I didn't get paid, I much preferred that vantage point.

Loved getting to Tropic Thunder with a gaggle of (e:strip)pers and other admirers of (e:imk2). It was a good time. I wimped out on Fugazi as I think I'm getting a little old and boring, not to mention a little too comfortable at old man bars.

Current user pic is from when I was young and boring. A college friend of mine joined on facebook and posted a gang picture of the 1984 staff of WSBU-FM. We were trying to look tough and it came out that we looked mostly silly, but there you go, a window into when my hair was a unified color of brown.

Wish the democrats would stop giving a shit about the spew coming forth from Sarah Palin. There is a pattern to convention bounces and by so much kvetching over the weekend, the Republicans are getting a little more bounce than they should. Still got to beat McCain, guys, focus.

I'll vote for the first assemblyman candidate who quits filling my mailbox with useless 9 X 13 full color, laminated piles of accusations. If there was a none of the above, I'd go for him/her just because they haven't given my mailman a chance to work on his anger issues.

Sick of the "spend a moment with Dale Volker" commericials. The attempt to paint somebody as warm and fuzzy when they are cold and crumudgeonly ain't flying past this little marketer.

My DVR was working overtime this weekend with a free HBO and Cinemax weekend. May have to connect up for the duration of Entourage.

Off to Milwaukee for work on Monday. I wish I was a little more jazzed for it. I used to travel for work all the time back in the proverbial day, but this is my first work trip in some time. Any get together that has an opening night reception at the Harley Davidson museum can't be all bad. Too bad I'm built more for Vespas, but that could be cool to look around, otherwise it's like flying to Buffalo from Buffalo.

Just walked into the Zoo break room and found a stash of Hershey's Dark Bars -- hopefully, that is an omen.