Mashed song lyrics as an expression of how I'm feeling today:

what is this?
are you some kind of hypnotist?

maybe i just look detached
i feel the social glare

i have to speculate
that God himself did
make us into corresponding shapes
like puzzle pieces from the tray

you don't believe me

i take a breath
hold the air until there is nothing left

wash away the thoughts inside
in the darkness i remain

there is no fucking you
there is only me

If someone does something nice for you, the least you SHOULD do is express your gratitude with a 'thank you'. Two simple words that can make such a difference. If you're too cool for school and can't utter those words, you should at least fucking acknowledge what was done for you!

For example, "I got your card", or "wow you cleaned".

Something - Anything to let that person know they haven't gone unnoticed on this planet, regardless if you're a fucker who can't say thanks. That is all.

Ghost Hunters marathon on Sci-Fi today!

Got caught in that snow storm last night trying to get home from work at Canisius. I hardly made it to the subway station. Visibility was about 3 feet and I think the wind chill registered at -15, but my frozen legcicles and forehead would wager it to be even less. I couldn't even tell where the sidewalks were supposed to be, so I fell off the curb and into the street.

That arctic air was so cold I could feel my eyeballs freezing. I actually had a moment when I wondered, if I was caught in a storm while climbing a mountain...is this how you go out? Is this the last thing you remember seeing and feeling before your body shuts down?

Happy Happy Birthday Kookcity2000!!!

I finally went to the doctor yesterday and found out why I've had this reocurring battle with coughing and congestion over the last 3 weeks. I have a severe sinus infeciton. I got some meds last night so hopefully I'll be feeling much better by Sunday.

I got the results back from my comprehensive exams. PASS.

Cheers, with my big glass of water. Ciao.

Funny. Almost one year later, but I finally received Dr. Luvre's valentine card! Thanks again (e:Ajay), it made me laugh pretty hard today when I saw that in my box. Cute poem.

I'm finished. I took the written comprehensive last Saturday and today my partners and I preseneted our oral case. We did fantastic!!! I'm on the home stretch. Just two more classes to wrap up and I'm outa here! Joy, joy, joy!

P.S. I'm about to knock my co-worker's light out. She's a fucking pig, her desk is disgusting and she keeps pushing her shit into my space. I only have a corner to start with. If she'd put her shit in files and in the damn filing drawer where they belong she'd have enough room for fat self. Grrrrrrrrr. Maybe I'll take a photo tomorrow and show you what I'm talking about.

My new drugs give me lots more energy. Here are some of the things I did during my frenzied hours.

I finally tailored my winter coat. It was too long, to wide in the waist, and didn't cover my boobs. I've never tailored anything like that before but how else do you learn but through experimentation.

Step 1: make appropriate length


Step 2: trim edges, remove inner and outer breast pockets


Step 3: add 3rd button, trim waist


Then I scrubbed my fridge out and created some shelf railings out of duct tape and carboard. The third row down on the door was non-existent. Amazing how much more room you get out of something so simple as that.



I still had the need to keep my mind and hands busy so I took my entire DVD collection and placed them in little sleeves. Look how much room I saved!! Those stacks now fit in 2 little crates.



Care came over a few times and we played an old skool favorite: Castelvania, Simon's Quest Check out that hip scrolling screen technology.



Carey found a typo


There was no SAVE option back then. Remember passwords!? This one is so long it's crazy if you loose it.



The new international students arrived and orientation went smoothly. I almost forgot these incredible shots I took while freezing my eyeballs on the observation deck at Niagara Falls.







My sister and nephew came to visit me. I thought I'd start teaching him da skillz.


He thinks his auntie is pretty fly. Check out that smile.


Ciao

observations and thoughts I've made this week:

I am who I am.

Some people date like hyenas. They can't fend for themselves so they either try to steal your catch or wait for your leftovers.

Some people will never be happy unless all attention is on them.

I really miss (e:bambicroft)

Sorry boys, size does matter. Any girl that tells you different is a bad,bad liar.

Don't despair; even if you have a tiny widget you're probably a good fit for a tiny girl. Don't feel like you have to fight for title of World's Biggest Asshole to make up for it.

Green cotton makes me smile.

Something inside me has awakened. I am determined to set it free.

I dreamt I was in a wedding dress of sorts. I was in a mall, something to the like of the Eaton Centre. Several floors high full of fancy shops, the middle divided by a canal large enough for a small cruise ship to enter. My 'parents' were not my parents. My mother was my ex-boyfriend's mother and my father was some man I don't know. I was supposed to get married! It was an arranged marriage to boot. He was a little person, as in dwarf. I didn't know him. I didn't know anyone except my ex's parents. The guy that was supposed to run the ceremony was my ex-boyfriend's father, who is a preacher.

The cruise ship is about to leave on a journey and strangers were grabbing at my arms trying to force me to the ceremony site. I thought I could escape if I jumped for the chains on the side of the ship. I knew I could; until she showed up. She had black hair, black eyes, and long bony fingers. She appeared in a mist hanging on the very chains I was trying to jump for. With the push of a few fingers she hurled the chains at me, striking me in the head and knocking me to the ground. She laughed as the ship pulled away.

The strangers promptly scooped me from the floor and began dragging me, heels dragging, toward the ceremony site. I saw (e:theecarey) passing by. I yelled to her in desperation, "I don't want to get married!" She replied, "We have to do something about this". I continued to yell, "I don't want to get married, please let me go, I don't want to!"

My escorts tried to get me on an escalator that would double as the aisle for my entrance. I could see all the people waiting at the bottom. My body was struck with the most intense anxiety and fear I've known. I was crying and wrestling to free myself from the deathlike grip of my captors.

Suddenly, as if an extension of my will, a fierce wind began to blow up the escalator. We couldn't move. Each step they tried to take would slide back into place. I thought to myself, if I could only break free the wind would release me from this impending prison.

Then I woke in a panic and sweat, still feeling the anxiety I experienced in the dream.