"dark weddings and affairs" written by Ladycroft on estrip.org

Category: dreams

08/05/06 12:03 - 68ºF - ID#25440

dark weddings and affairs

Have you seen that commercial where a man is sitting at his kitchen table with Abe Lincoln and a beaver playing poker? His dreams tell him how much they miss him?

My dreams let me know they have been missing me. I was missing them too. I realized it had been soooooo long since I had dreams. Really. I wake up so much in my sleep that I hardly get to enter REM cycle, which is incredibly disturbing.

I am happy to report that with the new meds I've been taking I have finally been able to sleep for a few hours continuously!!! As a result I have my dreams back!!!!

1. (e:Joshua) was getting married to this uber bridezilla biotch! I have no idea who she was but she was a misserable goober! The entire atmosphere was dark. It was dark outside, everyone was dressed in black, they were riding in a herse! (sp?) All the trees were dead, it was windy, and they got married on the porch of this half burned down black house. Creeeeeepy!

2. This one was disturbing. I was chillin with (e:Leetee) in some strange little antique shoppe. I went upstairs to use the toilets and saw (e:Nejifer) and (e:Uncutsaniflush) having an affair in a fur coat closet! Then the place was flooded with pugs! They were everywhere!

Permalink: dark_weddings_and_affairs.html
Words: 226
Location: Niagara Falls, NY

Category: transportation

08/02/06 01:53 - 85ºF - ID#25438

spoke too soon?

My excitement over a wonderful shower has been dashed. I split my time between 2 offices which means I have to close up shop in one place, go get my bike and carry all my gear down a block and across the street to the other office.

When I got to my bike today I was greeted with a busted tire! Not just flat, the tube exploded. Meep!

What is with my transportation traumas? My car blew up, after it blew a tire, my other bike blew both tires, and now my brand new bike blows a tire.

I thought about this as I sweated my way over to the office with my bike in tow. I'm bummed of course. I'd figure out how to take the bus, but I have 10 cents in my bag and the tokens (e:Paul) gave me are at home.

Anyhow, I was thinking about my thinking. Does 'stuff happen to me' as I always say, or does s'tuff happen' and how I react to it is what happens to me? Does that make sense?

I believe it's the latter. It's not the end of the world, it's just a bike tire. It just stinks because I got this bike to replace my more favorite bike that was broken and I don't have money to fix another problem. I was really enjoying my bike rides.

Permalink: spoke_too_soon_.html
Words: 229
Location: Niagara Falls, NY

Category: potpourri

08/02/06 10:43 - 80ºF - ID#25437

a shower never felt so good

I love my job. It's a fun office, or I should say offices, to work in. I like the people, I like what I do, and I can't wait to interact with the itnernational students I've been corresponding with for several months. Today however, was icing on the cake.

As you all know, it's a bazillion degrees outside. I commute on my bicycle. I'm not gonna lie, this heat is kicking my ass! It makes it harder to breath and about 5 times longer to cool off once I stop. All summer long I've arrived at work a ltitle sweaty, but I bring a little towel to wipe down with and I got myself a tiny desk fan. It's all good.

Yesterday was miserable. I couldn't seem to cool down at all. Today...I thought I was going to have a heat stroke! I was so red and sweaty my boss actually let me go take a shower in the dorms! Yah, I was smelly too. But how cool is that!? They actually let me go take a shower. The summer work study is also an RA, so she let me use her shampoo and soap. It was brilliant. I smell great, feel SO much better, and I'm not dying. Yay! Ciao.

Permalink: a_shower_never_felt_so_good.html
Words: 211
Location: Niagara Falls, NY

Category: deep thoughts

07/26/06 11:11 - 72ºF - ID#25435

pieces of me

I'm starting to feel a little bit like me again. I want to be back so badly and it's such a daily struggle, but I've been working hard at it. Something (e:Terry) said to me at the housewarming party really stuck with me. He said I was simply too hard on myself and don't give myself enough credit. It's true. I know I don't. That's part of what depression is. It's hard to focus on the good when all you see is the bad. It's hard to focus period.

I went with (e:Libertad) to another one of his Soka Gakkai meetings. It was so refreshing to be in a room full of people who were absolutely glowing inside. Yes, we all have problems in varying degrees. No one is immune to reality. But how we cope with life can in fact control us. I really tried to take the time, while they were chanting, to do a meditation. For the first time in a loooooong time, I felt a bit of peace in my heart and in my mind. Yes, I have a pile of troubles on my shoulders. Serious troubles that impact my life daily. But even if for that moment, I was free. I could breath, I wanted to smile and jump and clap my hands and do cartwheels.

The best part is, I didn't need a single drink or drug to feel that way. That is how I know a little piece of me came back. That is who I was all along. I am a beautiful person, inside and out. I'm not going to let anyone tell me otherwise, anymore. I'm not going to tell myself otherwise anymore. I am going to continue on my quest for peace and to bring vitality into my life once again.

jason writes at 12:07:07 07/28/06 - Comment #10336: I think that's awesome! Very very cool.

I think Msr. Carr is kicking me out. I'm too much of a bad ass (or scared to get on the phone at most times, one or the other).

libertad writes at 07:00:13 07/26/06 - Comment #10295: Thanks for the kind words about the Soka Gakkai. I haven't forgotten about the cd I promised. We should talk sooon. I'm also glad to hear that some clowds are lifting in your life. I always try to remember that it does get better when I'm having hard times.

metalpeter writes at 06:56:43 07/26/06 - Comment #10293: I'm glad that things are going well for you (yeah bad wording but You know what I mean). I wish you luck on things continuing that way and you getting even better.

jenks writes at 02:07:15 07/26/06 - Comment #10292: yay! I'm happy for you. :)

mrmike writes at 01:57:56 07/26/06 - Comment #10291: That's cool. Good for you. Maybe I show go and see if the monkey will get off my back

vincent writes at 01:24:37 07/26/06 - Comment #10290: Well you are going to have a good day today.

Anytime you look at the clock and see 1:11 or 11:11 You make a wish.

Yea, I listen to too much late night a.m. radio.

nejifer writes at 12:45:27 07/26/06 - Comment #10289: when i first met you, i thought you were the epitome of the laid back, open-minded, free spirited chick. and over time i watched that spirit fade and slowly you became a person i didn't know. but lately i watched you open up again. i've seen you let things roll off your back. and i've certainly seen you smile and laugh a hell of a lot more!! it's so lovely that you've come to the realization of what we've all known all along. you are BEAUTIFUL and i'm so very proud that you are finding you way back. i love you!

ajay writes at 11:18:36 07/26/06 - Comment #10288: "The best part is, I didn't need a single drink or drug to feel that way."

Exactly.

Permalink: pieces_of_me.html
Words: 303
Location: Niagara Falls, NY

Category: festival

07/25/06 12:04 - 75ºF - ID#25434

sterling renaissance festival

I always enjoy a good ren-fest. In my honest opinion, Sterling is not the greatest rather it's the closest. Some 2.5 hours Northeast of here lies a little village nestled in steep hillside. I simply don't understand why people try bringing their babies in strollers. This place is mud, gravel and mulch on very steep inclines. Eh.

There are a number of comedy sketches, musical performances, hand crafted artworks, and games to play. They do havea jousting field but the level of showmanship leaves much to be desired. The horses are beautiful though! Here are a few pics. Ciao.

telling the story of Beowulf through mud...I wanted to jump in soooo bad

his 'slingshot' weapon, a quadruple H bra

steak on a stick, hmmmm

that black blur is a hawk

my sis-in-law grooming her tail

me and big sis, muah!

so beautiful

the way this horse's head is tilted just makes me laugh

watching the joust

3 hoozah's for red and gold

yup, that's me!

Permalink: sterling_renaissance_festival.html
Words: 186
Location: Niagara Falls, NY

Category: potpourri

07/21/06 02:50 - 80ºF - ID#25433

i miss you gramma

I'm putting together letters for work. I assist international students through the admissions and immigration process at Canisius. I get a report print-out of every letter generated so I can keep track of this process. When I opened up one of these reports my Gramma's address showed up. I was confused at first, thought I was seeing things. Then I realized it was in Ontario. Euclid Avenue is not exactly a super common street name but the fact that it was the same house number really hit me. Then I opened my phone to get a number and my Gramma's number popped up. I really, really miss her.

Permalink: i_miss_you_gramma.html
Words: 110
Location: Niagara Falls, NY

Category: potpourri

07/20/06 12:42 - 84ºF - ID#25432

lament for aqua mouse

I enjoy riding my bike. Sometimes I'm tired or my ass hurts but I get used to it in a few minutes and I'm ok. Overall I look forward to my daily commute to and from work. I'm getting used to seeing familiar cars pass me by, other regular cyclists on the road and little old ladies watering their flower gardens in moo-moos and slippers. I've only had one negative incident where some fuck-ass actually honked at me and told me to get out of his way; I was in the bicycle lane on Richmond. Yep, minding my own beeswax in my private lane and some gorilla in an ice cream truck gives me grief.

Really my point is I miss Aqua Mouse. She went out in a blaze of glory, literally. So, she's off the road and the market for parts. Meep.

libertad writes at 10:26:06 07/21/06 - Comment #10130: I don't always follow the rules all the time. Sometimes I ride on the sidewalk even though it is illegal. When I have to do this, I try and be extra cautious of pedestrians.

leetee writes at 10:11:11 07/21/06 - Comment #10129: Yeah, i'm so bad at not following street rules while riding my bike. As you know, (e:Ladycroft) ! I know how much it reflects poorly on other riders. I know that i should be following the rules. It's just so dangerous to follow those rules because no one sees me there as a cyclist. I guess, for me, it's a bit of a vicious circle... what came first, the lack of respect for cyclists or the cyclists being road anarchists?

jenks writes at 06:14:12 07/21/06 - Comment #10126: yeah I agree- IF we follow the rules on our bikes, we should be treated right. But if those who want the best of both worlds- on the sidewalks, AND in the road- not stopping at red lights since "lights are for cars", etc- they deserve to be honked at.

metalpeter writes at 08:18:47 07/20/06 - Comment #10120: It is verry true that drivers don't often reconize bikes and don't know the rules about them and don't get them. One of the other problems is that some people who ride bikes in the street don't follow those laws. That hurts people who ride them the right way and do what they are supposed to do. Do you remember a few years back when the cops supposidly beat up some bikers near wilson farms on elmwood and summer. That was actully a rally that was supposed to bring more awareness of bikers in the street. Then the other factor is that often people ridding bikes don't go as fast as cars so that upset drivers who have to be somewhare 10 minutes ago or arn't patient enough to relise you have the same right to be there as them.

libertad writes at 07:09:20 07/20/06 - Comment #10115: It really burns me up when motorists fail to recognize that bicyclists have every right to be there. We are bound by the same laws, we are to go with traffic and obey all traffic signals and such. As theecarey would say "Gasholes!"

Permalink: lament_for_aqua_mouse.html
Words: 143
Location: Niagara Falls, NY

Category: sailing

07/18/06 03:35 - 80ºF - ID#25431

sail away, sail away, sail away

I got to go home Friday and spend the night with my family. My nephew Max is too friggin cute and my new nephew Ryan is too friggin yellow! Poor little guy had jaundice real bad so he had to go back in the hospital for some special baby tanning. He's home now and looking much better according to mom. Oh! Ryan's daddy showed up too, so that was a nice surprise.

the little peanut

daddy

napping with his cousin max

Sunday I went sailing for the first time ever. A new acquaintance invited me and a few friends out and I snapped up the opportunity in a jiffy. I've never been on a sailboat but I've always wanted to learn how to sail. My friend Dan and (e:Theecarey) joined me as first timers. Sadly, we hardly made it out on the lake when Dan began heaving-ho. Poor kid lost his lunch and all his Gatorade in repeated hurls starboard side. Carey wasn't feeling so hot either but didn't blow chunks. We had to come back in and let them off. I had not had enough fun for my day, so I went back out with the boys.

Interestingly, the friend joining my new acquaintance was the same guy that randomly made out with me on St. Patties Day. In times like these I'm reminded just how small Buffalo is. Once we were back on the water they pretty much let me man the helm. The rocking of the boat almost put me to sleep a few times. I was just lazing about when I heard, "I wonder what the poor people are doing today". Some guy yelled this as he waved to us in passing. What kind of shit is that?

Permalink: sail_away_sail_away_sail_away.html
Words: 307
Location: Niagara Falls, NY

Category: shakespeare

07/14/06 03:11 - 79ºF - ID#25430

L L L

Here are some pics from two different nights of Shakespeare in the park. Love's Labour's Lost only runs through this Sunday, so if you haven't seen it best get to it. It's a comedy and you'll love the Spaniard. I think I made this comment last year but I'll say it again. If fascinates me that we can go to the park and enjoy a play under the stars the same way people did some 420 years ago. Does anyone else think about that? We have come so far in technology and understanding our world yet we are still entertained by the very words written for audiences so long ago. Ciao.