Hokay so, I have been on this journal site for years; Pretty much when (e:paul) started it up. And this is only journal 137. I mean I knew I wasn't a big journal writer when I lived in buffalo, but I would have thought I would have atleast a years worth of entries. Damn i suck. I find that I update a lot more now than I ever have, which I thought I could never really get into online blogging since I stopped using so many of them in the past. I guess I miss Buffalo that much. Well I guess thats all I have to say; I must get back to my studies before my test tonight at D&B. Studying....YUCK!.....good times though. YAY! New York!

Party time on friday includes lots of homo's for once, and someone else from buffalo. Late night with my date grey goose, helped me 9 a.m. the next morning when I had to go to times square and try and find D&B. Still drunk at my Loooooong Day in this place, but I wasn't alone, It was hang over city in that place. I walked in the front doors and people started calpping and cheering. What the Hell is gong on my spinning mind is thinkg, Yes I'm surprised I made it here too I thought. But it turns out they did that for everyone who walked in. These people cn't be this happy all the time, they say they are. When we take the tour around the game room I stop the tour at the end and mention to the manager " I didn't see a Dance Dance Revolution game, and according to the website oyu have one." The manager takes me and me alone to show me where they kept the game. Thank you. Saturday night It's my girlfriends birthday and it's off to Ms. Shapes downtown, dancing, dancing, dancing time to go hoe I am very sleepy and have been drunk for two days straight. I Looked at the pictures from the party at PMT"S house and can only Le Sigh How I wish I was there. The boys having a party and I'm not there does not feel right to me. That is something I am going to try and fix in the future. I'm glad you all have a good time, it was good to see (e:mike) classic drunk. Good times all around bye bye now everything is Loverly.

Call me corny, call me sappy but....

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

I love this song too

"It's true love
When you say I need me like the way i need you
And you can't be without me
Like I can't be without you
It's true love
When we spend time talking on the phone
Cause when we're not around each other you don't want to be
alone
It's true love, love, love, love
Don't you know it's good to be in love, love, love, love
Just believe me truthfully cause
Love is never ever makin you cry
Before I tell you a lie
I'll give you my life
Cause that true love"

By: Faith Evans

Hands up, fellas tell your ladies she's the one. Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock. One week left until i start my job. My girls birthday is the same day so saturday will be a full day. My dad is looking like shit, and my mothers in the hospital, A new girlfriend may become a good friend. Hanging out with BORING 27 year old computer nerds makes for a weird saturday night. Tis my week in a nutshell. "I miss you like crazy, I miss you like crazy, no matter what I say or do, theres just no getting over you!" a little early 90's R&B. peace and love B-Lo!

this frog is soooo cool. He makes me want to dance. I think he has a blurred penis. Watch and love.

thats right folks, for some reason tk seems to be running a friggin daycare here. I now have a three year old three times a week in additon to the 4 year old and baby. Oh boy has his hands full here. Next week I start training for dave and busters; Whoo Hoo! I will be running 70 through 80 hour work weeks. Busy Busy. I had a touching phone call 3 in the morning from friends of mine from buffalo; wasn't excatly the phone call I was expecting, but I understand how some people are just bad at returning phone calls. My "best friend" (note the qoutes) has not called me since i moved here. I am not talking about (e:terry), but this other hussie who a select few know. Their are some people I am glad to leave behind in buffalo, and probably don't want to talk to again ever. You grow up with someone and you think you know them, but still they surprise you in being shallow and an out right douche. Cunt. You go out of your way to make sure someone else is happy and you wind up the one fucked. I hope she and her boyfriend are happy together; and it is reall hard for me to say that because I really don't mean it. But it's the right thing to say, and after all she is family. Funny thing about family, they let you down, they fuck you over, and hurt your feelings. But you are still supposed to love them because these are the people you are born with. Why? If I had a choice I wouldn't be involved with these people for the rest of my life, but since they are "family" you are supposed to forgive them. why? Family sucks. they say friends are the family you choose, which I think is a better deal. My friends have always been my family and are the only people I could rely on for anything. So to my Family I say this: Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobodys watching. Sing like nobody's listening, and live like it's heaven on earth.

about everything; about what I'm doing, where I'm going, what I've done. The same feelings of loneliness, hovers yet i am happier with myself. How come my dreams a night send me into these worlds where I'm in love. More than a few occasions in my dreams I am kissing or touching someone and sublimely happy. And then I wake up alone again. Nothing like a good dream to ruin the rest of your day. My new life is still starting and i am more excited about it as the moments pass, but right now it's one of those feelings of truths, where you know that you are all alone in this world and no one is going to love you, like you do.*Le sigh* But all we want is somebody to love, and them to love us back. I hope I'm not too pathetic.

Something you can count on in New York: Never a dull weekend. Two bottles of wine and a halfof joint then it's off to the Brass Monkey in the meat packing district. i have never been in that area, and I don't know if it was the joint or the wine (maybe a combination of the two) but the meat packing district is the coolest spot in the city. The grunge that looms over the streets and buildings was intriguing. I wanted to run around and find out all the dirty happenings that that hood has seen and been through, it would have been practically orgasmic. i wih I oculd have remebered more but I was too stoned and drunk to recall. Did I mention I haven't smoked in over a month? The Brass monkey was equally as fun, a girlfriend of mine from buffalo works there and she makes a mean cosmo. That night surprisingly I was sleep by mid-night. All day saturday with a dead cell phone and no energy to go back to mu house and charge the bitch, all I did was watch the entire first season of greys anatomy. Damn thats a good show. Saturday night, which is usually more fun than fridays, it was off to the lower west side for some dancng at a place called Ms. shapes or Don hills. Good place anyway lots of homos and drunk chicks, people having sex behind this curtain where other people were dancing. Madonna's song "Hung Up" sounds a lot better in a night club, and leave it to me to pick up the english straight guy. We hang out togther all night, he's buying me drinks and shots. Constantly making jokes about exposing himself, and making out because people around us were. Dancing, grinding, hand holding as we surf through the crowd. I stop him and ask the magic question "Do you have a girlfriend?" assuming I knew the answer, and I did "Yes I do". And where is this girlfriend? Oh back home in London. Whoa Nelly. More dancing and drinking, we close out the mutha fucka and we take the subway to our seperat homes after a picture of each other,a hug and a kiss but not that kind of kiss. Nice boy, size 14 shoes. Sunday big sleepy time. So as Black history month comes to a close, The shortest and coldest month, which I am sure all of mt Afro brotha's appreciate. I realized something none of my friends called me to say "Hey T.K. thanks for being black." Just a thought. Muah!

"You can stay, but you can't stay my lover."