Ok. This link is not for the weak willed.

It's actually quite disturbing, hence the category, but I imagine that this kind of thing goes on all the time, not every puppy can be loved. The girl is perdy cute (she has some kind of Euro accent too) Still... to see it happening, well... Here you go:

yep....

thank you casey and esther

I had a pretty good 4th weekend.

Hung out with Fernie at the pool at Benderson. Janine came too, she really loves that baby and I think Fern really likes her too. Shy people only like to talk to each other; it's weird… The baby pool was perfect Fern could get in and out by her self and I got some chillax time in the sun. To boot the prices and quality of the concessions at the pool were amazing ($5 for snacks for all, and the chips had flaxseed in em). The hot dog was made out of something I wouldn't be ashamed to say I fed my kid too.

PUBLIC NOTE TO SELF: Always buy the Jewish version of "bad for you" food, it's just better. There's real meat in the hotdogs, real sugar in the Pepsi.... I don't know why they don't do this for other kinds of people, but I'll fake being jewish at bbq's if it'll rid me of some diet guilt.

Got an armband at the carnival for Fern so she could ride everything non stop…and she stopped pretty early. There was a lil baby boy in our entourage and Fern would pet his face like a puppy every once and a while, it was tender. In the middle of everything Fern and I were stranded with all the stuff and she had go to the potty so I had to teach her how to pee "on the side of the road" style between some carnival vehicles. Which must not be easy if you're the girl peeing, and down right scary for a guy trying to teach a girl how to do it for the first time, but we go it done.

Before we got to the carnival in Riverside, Fern and I bought flags and stuff to see the fireworks. We found out that there's no tax on flags, and we kept screaming that at the top of our lungs it while we waved ours. I made sure she really knew what the holiday was for (this time, ask me about Memorial day some time) and i think she really got into it. Man I love that baby and now she loves being an American, I like it that that's what this holiday can be for someone...

And since it was the 4th we stayed up until "are you serious" o'clock until Fern got all "why so serious" on me, but she passed out in the short car ride home so everything was alright.

Went to the beach on Monday with some homies and it was almost a catastrophe but I have sweet assed friends. I did this thing where I get all anxious about something happening without other people there and messaged a ton of humans, then everyone called back at the same time and I didn't want to uninvited anyone. : \ Still I thought the two groups that did want to go might mix well, and i was wrongish. everyone was cool, but clearly some friends didn't have as good a time because the others were there. I gotta be more patient. I'm coming to find this to be a montra that would help me a lot in life.

On the completely up side, being that bereft of clothes for that long was fuuuuuun. Ok, I look a lot better now. I have to say it feels good to be naked in public finally, and being around people who are just as comfortable was key. My friend Josh wore a skin tight american flag man-kini and is blessed by the gods of Wang so I got to see a lot of fun reactions from strange girls. I've decided that flirting is what guys who can't hang their penis' out have to do to convince women sex might be fun. Jokes take a lot to get a girl to giggle the way they do when they spy a fat lazy hamster in his hammock. Just saying.

Later I went to a bbq and grilled what was left of the beach clams and drank really good beer. So even though I missed a few things I was invited to I still had some serious fun.

I guess the thing that stuck with me the most over this weekend is that if you don't take the time to celebrate what is good in things that you have or are all get to have or be is the worst of what's wrong with everything. I felt really American this weekend and I felt good about it coming from a guy like me it's a big step I guess. I think that if everyone would allow them selves to feel good about anything every once in a while, it'd make life a lot brighter...

Ok peeps. Hope you had a fun 4th. We'll chat again soon.

Had a late snack with a friend at Cafe Aroma the other night. (I know, the link is for a website for the owner's other business, but it's all I gotz)

The staff is friendly and attractive. My attempt at flirting with the new girl failed miserably, but it was a chummy flirt and i was with a lady friend who's drink I paid for, so she probably just thought I was a huge douche bag. Back to the food. We both had chamomile and shared a slice of Carrot Cake. We were both watching our weight, but if you avoid the frosting you can have carrot cake with very very little guilt, its mostly just carrots.

They're right next to the only new book bookstore in buffalo, aaand they serve wine and beer (Ommagang beers, some of my favorites ever). It's kinda tiny and sorta cramped but if you're into that it's gold, and the internet is free, and you gotta get a ticket. I like it that way so you don't get creepy esquatters who don't even buy drinks.

They were out of lemon, which I feel is a key part of good cup of chamomile, and the bag of chamomile that I had was short leaf and pre packed in a round tea pouch so it wasn't very full in flavor. Compared to the SPoT teas that are full leaf and just as cheap it lost a few points. To boot they only had limes, which for some reason had no juice left in em. I think they weren't ripe.

The cake was just moist enough and it wasn't too old. By the time we sat down to eat it the frosting was starting to mankify and there was little to no moisture in it. I've seen this happen to carrot cakes time and time again, and it's just a part of the price you pay trying to eat coffee shop cakes that have to sit in cold cases. It was still tasty though, and pretty. The barista decorated the slice with caramel and whipping cream from a pro air can.

Insert pic I didn't take

The cake wasn' t too sweet which I think should be pointed out as a merit since even though the SPoT carrot cake is quite a bit better, it gave this cake it's own class. I normally eat coffee shop cakes with a warm or cold sweet drinks and that much sweetness just gets lost on you. So I like less sweet cake while I'm coffee shop snacking.

You can't beat the location of Aroma, right off of Bidwell and Elmwood. The kids were out doing their things in hackie sac circles, young lovers were lounging on the parkway into the twilight, and there were even some tight rope walkers too. Never a dull moment. The cutest thing I spotted while people watching though was an older man, full grey, mulling about until his date showed up. She was just as old and head a head like a q-tip, all white and fully and moth bitten. They were so sweet.

I wish I had a pic of the cake and tea and q-tip to post, but I don't. I'll do better next time. Later peeps.

A new episode of a life well wasted came out and I'm soooo excited to listen to it.

It is literraly the best pod cast I have ever heard. It's so well crafted in as many ways as I could imagine. Ok, ithere's caveat, it's about video games.

Ok, but it isn't really. It' about people, but people who's live are effected by video games which if you're alive in (the United State of) America is you too. Someone you know games.

The guy who puts it out is a musician who's band is average to sub par. I think if he ditched the other dudes he'd do a lot better. He does all the sound design in the show and you'll see what i mean if you listen to even one episode.

it's not just a story, or periodical information, or visual art (there's a limited edition poster released with each episode), or sound design, or a sociological study of the effect of a billion dollar industry in this country on it's citizens….or any of that. It's all of it.

Check out an episode, or just go browse the artwork, or look at the slick web design of the site. Well worth wasting some of your life on.

Episode Six: Big Ideas


This is just a music video of some music in the podcast. It's also the beginning of the episode..., but it's got video and such. Kay. I'm done.

Ok my nerdy (e:peeps).

Are you excited or pissed that the RROD has been "solved" in the new XBOXs by causing them to shut down?

In the programing world we tend to call solutions like this a kludge. Which if I may be so rude to explain is a solution that doesn't fix the problem so much as work around it.

I don't know if I'm supposed to believe that at this point in computing we still can't figure a way to get a computer that is far less advanced than the average desktop computer not to over heat.

Well at least it'll keep warranties from being cashed in when folks by this new XBOX after the one they have that's overheating doesn't stop it self in the middle of a boss fight and just shut down.

On a scale of one to schweet I rate this LAME.

Siiiiigh.

(Yes, LAME is less than one)

You have this to look forward to!

Ok Peeps,

Who's being selfish when both people love each other as much as any two people could, but one dose or doesn't want something so they part?

I've seen this happen a bunch before. There's…er was, this really cool couple who used to live upstairs from me when I lived in Allentown, that are clearly no longer together. They seemed to be made for one another. He was one of the coolest break dancers I've ever know and she painted everything she ever owned bright pink. I think she still has a few colors in her hair. I've since seen the dude at parties and bars. He often looks rather dejected and kinda alone, but he would always look that way i guess. A bit of a recluse that must have been in heaven to have such an extravert all to him self. So I guess his loneliness is a bit more pronounced of late. When they were dating the girl was faaaat, even if she was stylish. She ran it all off one year and I was like, "Way to go, go for you!" I wondered why anyone could be motivated to get them selves more in shape after they've been in a really long term relationship and got "comfy". Later I saw her with her son and a relatively dis-intersting boyfriend at the Arf Festival and the story just told it self. Made me sad.

Ok there's another account too. A good friend who has what I classify scientifically as a spiny personality. They're good at heart, but you've got to navigate some rather sharp stiff and unyielding aspects before you can enjoy them, found someone who could, but since the girl in the couple wanted a baby eventually (not right away) and he didn't they called it quits and just tried to be friends.

I feel like If you're a man it's in your biology to crave and receive sexual attention that should never cause any further responsibility beyond being the kind of lover your mate expects after having to suffer nocturnal emissions and constant hormonal agitation your whole life since puberty. And if you're a woman your biology entitles you to have something come of all this sex with destructive insensitive brutes and menstrual cycles at some point in your life after having to suffer through it all since you started bleeding weather you were ready or not.

I guess you could view my perspective as a bit jaded or one sided since I have reproduced (albeit not nearly in the most idea situation), but what do you think? I know there are alternatives, but how could anyone watch the love of their lives walk away just because they wanted or didn't want to have a baby, or live in a new town? It's such a cold hard choice, I hope I never have to make it. What choice could cause you to tear your self away from the comfort and security of real love with someone if you ever found it? It's not fun to think of, but if you're brave enough share…

who could say no to a face like this...

Hi peep'lz

I've made a lot of strides going to the gym lately. I'm down to 220lbs. which is pretty good for an (e:enknot) but my BMI is still 27.5 which is over weight according to this calculator (http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/). I think that maybe I just have heavy bones, but there's a bone on top of my abs that is kinda flabby that's telling me I might be wrong, so I'm going to pump up the cardio until that goes away. I bought roller blades and my bike is in great working order so if you ever wanna do that kinds stuff shoot me an email (they come to my phone so they're as fast as text messages)

I was going to the gym in the mornings for a while, and it kept me consistent and able to do things at night that were not the gym (I have a social addiction), but I've come to find that saps my ability to do things during the first part of the day which matters a bunch. I can't concentrate at work, and I'm kinda drowsy for the first part of the day no matter how much sleep I got that night. That is just not good. For to many reasons. You people don't pay taxes so state employees can stare sleepily at their computer screens...well not this one at least.

So, I'm moving my work out to night times. I like to work out with people, I feel like you can get more done that way, and I've bumped into more people at night when I go to the gym, so this might actually do us all some good.

Last night I saw my old nerdy co-worker Jake Mabee (pronounced "maybe", yeah I have fun with that) and we did legs and chest and I can still feel a nice dull ache. He taught me how to do dead lifts and my whole self feels chewed on. My other buddy told me that there's a human growth hormone that released when you do your legs that works body wide, and I figured if I'm going to use some growth hormone on anything else I'm going to use it on pecs. I still have the Ren Hoeck dream of having humongus pectoral muscles. I think ladies like em... I do too, make my shirts look better on me and naked time more fun for everyone involved...and I'm trying to get as many people involved as i can at this point in my lame dating life :)

Later peeps.