Ok... I think I got here because of a post by (e:tinypliny) or someone, but that's not important. What is important is my obsession with cool nerdy stories and Sarah Michelle Gheller. Not to mention my over whelming attraction to crack think ladies. SMG has a new show coming out and I have to say I'm more than just intrigued, though I think this might do better as a trilogy of films as the plot feels like it'd start to unravel after a few episodes let alone seasons. You be the judge. Everyone in this show seems to be friggin hot or a dapper dude, so it's got decent boner factor too. (Very important when deciding weather to call up a squeezy or just watch the boob tube)

Tralier for Ringer

Speachless...

Thats what she said

In case you don't know what's going on I have a friend who I've tried to get to start a blog on this site for a while cause he has a ton to say all the time that I think is really relevant; he kinda needs a blog. He hasn't started any blog that I know of and hence isn't an (e:peep), but you've seen him at a lot of parties for a year or two now so he is one in a round about way. I'd been really close friends with him for 15+ years by now. That's the larger half of my conscience life, but now we're almost enemies. Its perdy lame, kinda sad, and super dumb, but shit like this happens sometimes.

I was explaining why we're in a rough patch to a friend of ours and realized that other friends of ours might wanna really know what the hell is going on between us that things are so awful lately. To be honest I don't think this post will help much, and I wish I knew for certain. Still, I'm just glad to get this off my chest, cause I don't wanna think about it anymore.

I used to think the term 'life partner' was a little creepy and kinda gross especially when it was a caption in a photo that my buddy Andrew took of me and my friend Casey back when we were still tight. I've since come around to the idea because of a girl i've been seeing lately. She has a reaaaaaally close friend who she dubbed her 'life partner'. I've seen them together tons even though it never encroaches on alone time with her or being close to her in any way, and mostly both girls are just a fun addition to knowing either girl. They're even going as far as having a friendship ceremony that I think is a little beyond anything I'd ever do, but if I had to call anyone my 'life partner' I'd have to pick that Casey character.

...the message...

The Casey thing is sad and I wish it would go away, but he's outrageously stubborn and even though I've tried to just let this dumb shit pass he's pretty bent so I'm not involving my self with him anymore. He's a really fun dude in small sips, but too much is toxic, and not the fun Brittany kind.

He was really bent out of shape one night when I flirted with a girl he was standing next to that I later found out he was dating. As if I'd fuck his girlfriend?! When I found out who she was I was surprised and pleased he'd meet someone, he'd been down lately and doing weird things with his love life. I apologized and went home with a different girl that night, and though nothing of it until he came at me steaming from the ears. I don't think that this is the only reason we're at odds, but it was the beginning of the end. We weren't able to agree to disagree on what should have been done that night, but I thought it was stupid we were even fighting. In contrast one of the big reasons he moved to Cali was to be with my ex-girl Jenny (whom I've carried a simmering flame for ever since I met, which he must have known), but she turned him down. I didn't care really even though it hurt me cause if they really loved each other they should be together. Still getting a call or something from him would have been more than just nice. She brought it up and told me the details in the casually to be up front with me about things since we ended up keeping in touch, but he (almost understandably) denies it to this day... What do I do with that kind of crazy? Avoid it.. that's what.

Thereafter or maybe even since before then, Casey started hating me for as many reasons as anyone could hate me...yeah I don't know either. When I confronted him about why, he couldn't say outright. We'd get into a lame argument about every detail of us knowing each other that rubbed us the wrong way and couldn't put it down. Further into things he brought up some weird shit about "us not spending enough time with one another" and "me being dishonest about who I was spending time with cause he saw me in photos on Facebook in places he hadn't been invited to...." YEAH REALLY FUCKING GAY, and not the fun (e:pmt) kind! I'd had it and decided to try and move on.

To put salt in this wound I found all this out when I tracked him down beause I knew he'd been depressed. I hadn't heard from him for days and I seriously thought he might have offed him self. I was a bit freaked; then this happens...

l a m e.

So I decided to not hang out with him at all any more and told him not to come to my house unless he wanted to get it off his chest and get over it. To be fair to him I just told him to no come over. I didn't trust him anymore. His hatred and envy had drivin him to a place I was wary of allowing to be around me. Anyone who knows you that well and hates you can hurt you in ways you don't understand until it's too late, and I knew he was capable of it. He's a really smart dude and I'd seen him do it to people (we used to care about) before.

All in all. I've tried to be his friend through all this. Sending him details about stuff I knew he'd think is cool. Telling people it's just a phase and we'd get over it soon. I even went camping with him, even though I knew he'd be there but wasn't supposed to be in the original plans, this past weekend. I acted like nothing was wrong in hopes we'd clear all this up, but he wouldn't say a word to me now or even shake my hand, in what I considered a very intimate setting with only the closest of friends. It sucked. He took shitty little pot shots at me and tried to make me look like an ass in front of actual friends of mine the whole time, but I just kept my cool and tried to make the best of it...(pretty poorly since I was kinda crackin up about having to stay stuck in such an awkward place or ruining the trip for everyone else)

I'd come to the point where I don't really speak to the dude anymore so I decided to be in other places. When we did cross paths he'd just leave or not interact. When I see him in public I didn't bring anything up and treated him like a human being, since anything else would make me a douche bag.

Lately, he's decided that he should be around me and not speak to me and moved into to forcing him self into my presence just so he can hate at me and ruin good times and its really pissing me off, but whatever. At least that what its been feeling like. I'm sure I'll get over it as he fades into becoming a more of a stranger than anything else, but that's a terrible solution to a dumb problem... Oh well.

Hopefully he's found something that makes him happy in life and he's moving on... I'm trying to too, but it really sucks to loose a friend you've had for so long who was so close. Especially when they're going to such lengths to make your life worse. I'm torn up about it, but I won't cry any place but here. So, boo to the hoo, wahhh to the haaa. The dude taught me how to drive, some years I was the only one who gave him a christmas present, he's bailed me outta trouble too many times to mention, and we've told each other the closest details of our lives in confidence.

Thanks for listening if you've gotten this far. It's been cathartic writing it even if you didn't.

Look at this... shame it's all over now.

• I've made some edits to make things clear since the comments started on this. I don't think it's cause anyones comments to look lame, but if it did I apologize. This is just touchy and public and I want to be clear.