Woman Mistaking pepper for a cherry

(e:Terry) and I actually. then we stomped around in the kitchen crying and drinking milk like baby cows hoping for relief.

It was the most painful thing I think I'd ever done to date. She's not kidding. Oddly, I still love spicy food.

Moral of the story... Stick to buffalo wings. And share your misery with friends, makes it more fun.

I can meet people easily, but I have a hard time keeping them around apparently. This has become disgusting eyesore in the center of my life that has become harder and harder to avoid as time goes on. When you feel like you have no home where you live you're forced to either live as a homeless person in a house or go make one for your self. I've tried this several times and I'm finding it difficult to maintain the energy to keep it going. I'm getting old and I don't want to start over anymore, but it seems I have no choice.

Reading back on all the expositions that we've submitted and thinking back to all the events that took place I still can't quite pinpoint the place where things started off track, but they've been sliding and slithering further and further into darker and darker holes ever since. My goal in the beginning was to force someone who needed people in their life to reach out to other people to also be close to, and if I had to loose him to do it I was wiling to make that sacrifice. I could not be any one's everything, that would ruin our relationship. I know my self. I felt like Casey was ready to settle on that and I was not for a number of reasons. I'm here today telling you I have succeeded. He's been accepted into a very large group of people some of which consider him family, and as much as this is a grand success it's only bitter sweet since now I stand on the outside of that same family of friends as something less than a stranger, but nothing close to friend.

When i wrote about what was happening I did it in an emotional froth. I'd just come back from my best friends house having just agreed to end my longest standing friendship, and was being accused of enjoying it. Casey's response to my post was more telling than anything. Where I was saddened and apologetic he became defensive and offended. The posts illustrated quite well how we passed each other like trains in the night on why we were out of sorts. I don't think either of us really wanted to say what was getting at us. I don't know why. Honestly it's way less destructive than what we did end up saying. We both cared about each other maybe too much, but didn't agree on how to express that. So we started doing hurtful things instead. Our girl dispute as pathetic at best. None of it mattered by the by. Both girls are now happy in love with other men, and we're no longer the friends we were. I couldn't quite impress that upon him. But the hurt continued in other ways, so I can't believe that it really had everything to do with what we're at odds about. I live with the consequences everyday.

It's true that I was spending less time with Casey. My interests had changed, and I'd become focused on finding a mate more than anything else in life. I had just broken up with my childs mother Megan, something he was all for not too strangely. I was trying something new with my living situation that demanded that i take care of two properties, and i was finding new places to meet women since my core group of friend had a lot of gay men in it, and there's not too many women I'd make a life partner out of from that. I understand if Casey started feeling a little like Kirk Cameron. I was on a mission. Still am, but my drive and methods are different now. Being fresh out of a terminal relationship makes everyone act like a hoe… I'm no better than any other red blooded american man.

I have for a while now had to ask my self how this came to being. What was really going on? Am I just better off not dealing with him, or should I have tried harder to figure things out? I don't know that anything that should have been said about the relationship was mentioned. I think Casey was hurt deeply that someone like me in his life would reject him. Rejection from family is a sore sticking point to anyone, but him especially I was the closest thing he had to that then. What I don't think he understood by my stance was that as much as I was standing back I as was standing firm, so that we could get past what we couldn't agree to.

I forbade him enter Nona's house my home which started the breakdown of my core friends in ways that i wouldn't understand or would realize until this very day. He'd already make his mark. He was one of "us". I Members of our group came to each of us independently sometimes asking me to be more lenient I am here contemplating not going to an (e:strip) party since I hadn't been invited and likely won't be welcomed. I thought it'd cause more problems to try and deal with him from inside my house. I created a deep schism in my world.

Taking care of Nona's house for (e:PMT) (at the time) was as big a mistake as I thought it would be, but only in those ways. In every other way it was a delight. I lived with some of the best friends I've come to know while there and raised my peanut from a squirt to a tyke. I wasn't able to save enough to buy it any sooner than my credit could repair it self so I could do it with no $ down. Some odd ends my side couldn't hold up kept me from finishing the deal as the owner and I was rushed out my last month of living there. I did all I could but there was still tons of work that needed to be done before it could be showed. Terry and his crew slaved away for a few weeks and it paid off I hear, but the details of that event put and even bigger rift between me and what used to be my best of friends.

Since then he and (e:Terry) have become quite good friends stronger even than he and I ever could have been, which honestly made me very happy for him. I can't tell you how many circles of friends I'd tried to introduce him to unsuccessfully. Hmmm, last (e:Terry) spoke of him around christmas time it was as family which is kinda great. He's never had a family so large that cared so much. A detail that though you might consider harmless to hear but is something that I may be wise to keep to my self…but I've abandoned most forms of what I thought was wisdom, they're not really working out for me so well.

So a failed friendship and a failed business venture added them selves to a year of doing alone what I used to only enjoy doing with the people I'm forbidden to see tonight and here I am. I hope this is the beginning of something brighter and more wonderful for everyone. Incudling me as now I'll attempt to go forth and find a new family. Casey has his now, Terry and Pauls have gotten bigger, and the world keeps spinning with or with out me.

I hope you all have fun tonight at this party. I'll be elsewhere likely not knowing if these words have sealed the deal on weather you'll ever see me again, but you'll be ok. I'm sure you will. So will I. The saddest part of all of this is that there's new Star Wars movies to talk about, and no one to really hear what I have to say.

This guy is so nerdy and squirrly that if (e:Paul) wasn't (e:pmt) already he'd prolly be in love

Speachless...

Thats what she said

In case you don't know what's going on I have a friend who I've tried to get to start a blog on this site for a while cause he has a ton to say all the time that I think is really relevant; he kinda needs a blog. He hasn't started any blog that I know of and hence isn't an (e:peep), but you've seen him at a lot of parties for a year or two now so he is one in a round about way. I'd been really close friends with him for 15+ years by now. That's the larger half of my conscience life, but now we're almost enemies. Its perdy lame, kinda sad, and super dumb, but shit like this happens sometimes.

I was explaining why we're in a rough patch to a friend of ours and realized that other friends of ours might wanna really know what the hell is going on between us that things are so awful lately. To be honest I don't think this post will help much, and I wish I knew for certain. Still, I'm just glad to get this off my chest, cause I don't wanna think about it anymore.

I used to think the term 'life partner' was a little creepy and kinda gross especially when it was a caption in a photo that my buddy Andrew took of me and my friend Casey back when we were still tight. I've since come around to the idea because of a girl i've been seeing lately. She has a reaaaaaally close friend who she dubbed her 'life partner'. I've seen them together tons even though it never encroaches on alone time with her or being close to her in any way, and mostly both girls are just a fun addition to knowing either girl. They're even going as far as having a friendship ceremony that I think is a little beyond anything I'd ever do, but if I had to call anyone my 'life partner' I'd have to pick that Casey character.

...the message...

The Casey thing is sad and I wish it would go away, but he's outrageously stubborn and even though I've tried to just let this dumb shit pass he's pretty bent so I'm not involving my self with him anymore. He's a really fun dude in small sips, but too much is toxic, and not the fun Brittany kind.

He was really bent out of shape one night when I flirted with a girl he was standing next to that I later found out he was dating. As if I'd fuck his girlfriend?! When I found out who she was I was surprised and pleased he'd meet someone, he'd been down lately and doing weird things with his love life. I apologized and went home with a different girl that night, and though nothing of it until he came at me steaming from the ears. I don't think that this is the only reason we're at odds, but it was the beginning of the end. We weren't able to agree to disagree on what should have been done that night, but I thought it was stupid we were even fighting. In contrast one of the big reasons he moved to Cali was to be with my ex-girl Jenny (whom I've carried a simmering flame for ever since I met, which he must have known), but she turned him down. I didn't care really even though it hurt me cause if they really loved each other they should be together. Still getting a call or something from him would have been more than just nice. She brought it up and told me the details in the casually to be up front with me about things since we ended up keeping in touch, but he (almost understandably) denies it to this day... What do I do with that kind of crazy? Avoid it.. that's what.

Thereafter or maybe even since before then, Casey started hating me for as many reasons as anyone could hate me...yeah I don't know either. When I confronted him about why, he couldn't say outright. We'd get into a lame argument about every detail of us knowing each other that rubbed us the wrong way and couldn't put it down. Further into things he brought up some weird shit about "us not spending enough time with one another" and "me being dishonest about who I was spending time with cause he saw me in photos on Facebook in places he hadn't been invited to...." YEAH REALLY FUCKING GAY, and not the fun (e:pmt) kind! I'd had it and decided to try and move on.

To put salt in this wound I found all this out when I tracked him down beause I knew he'd been depressed. I hadn't heard from him for days and I seriously thought he might have offed him self. I was a bit freaked; then this happens...

l a m e.

So I decided to not hang out with him at all any more and told him not to come to my house unless he wanted to get it off his chest and get over it. To be fair to him I just told him to no come over. I didn't trust him anymore. His hatred and envy had drivin him to a place I was wary of allowing to be around me. Anyone who knows you that well and hates you can hurt you in ways you don't understand until it's too late, and I knew he was capable of it. He's a really smart dude and I'd seen him do it to people (we used to care about) before.

All in all. I've tried to be his friend through all this. Sending him details about stuff I knew he'd think is cool. Telling people it's just a phase and we'd get over it soon. I even went camping with him, even though I knew he'd be there but wasn't supposed to be in the original plans, this past weekend. I acted like nothing was wrong in hopes we'd clear all this up, but he wouldn't say a word to me now or even shake my hand, in what I considered a very intimate setting with only the closest of friends. It sucked. He took shitty little pot shots at me and tried to make me look like an ass in front of actual friends of mine the whole time, but I just kept my cool and tried to make the best of it...(pretty poorly since I was kinda crackin up about having to stay stuck in such an awkward place or ruining the trip for everyone else)

I'd come to the point where I don't really speak to the dude anymore so I decided to be in other places. When we did cross paths he'd just leave or not interact. When I see him in public I didn't bring anything up and treated him like a human being, since anything else would make me a douche bag.

Lately, he's decided that he should be around me and not speak to me and moved into to forcing him self into my presence just so he can hate at me and ruin good times and its really pissing me off, but whatever. At least that what its been feeling like. I'm sure I'll get over it as he fades into becoming a more of a stranger than anything else, but that's a terrible solution to a dumb problem... Oh well.

Hopefully he's found something that makes him happy in life and he's moving on... I'm trying to too, but it really sucks to loose a friend you've had for so long who was so close. Especially when they're going to such lengths to make your life worse. I'm torn up about it, but I won't cry any place but here. So, boo to the hoo, wahhh to the haaa. The dude taught me how to drive, some years I was the only one who gave him a christmas present, he's bailed me outta trouble too many times to mention, and we've told each other the closest details of our lives in confidence.

Thanks for listening if you've gotten this far. It's been cathartic writing it even if you didn't.

Look at this... shame it's all over now.

• I've made some edits to make things clear since the comments started on this. I don't think it's cause anyones comments to look lame, but if it did I apologize. This is just touchy and public and I want to be clear.

Ok, so the author Scott Adams who pens Dillbert and dose some other things I'm sure wrote a blog post called "Pegs and Holes". In it he make some intrestingly badly made points so much so that he garnered the attention of Salon Magazine which prompted an interview article titled "Adams Takes on Salon"

Let's not forget that Scott Adams is the silly man who brought us Catbert, who is funny


A lot of things are said and are being argued about this blog post. Many of those things are things that may be in the post, but may also not be what the artist was intending, which brings me to my point for posting this blog here on (e:strip).

1. I know there are those of you who will be come polarized to one of the sides of one of these arguments. They are many ar becoming legion. I wonder what side of any or all of these arguments you're on.

2. I know one if not all of you have tried to make complex arguements that have grey points in them that become understood by the general public (and/or (e:strip) community) in a way that you didn't intend directly. It gets really fishy when normal people try to communicate like professionals. None of us have a cartoon strip that's been made into a TV series and/or the riches and attention that accompany it, but that hasn't stopped us from making mistaks.

3. I like enumerating things. I don't think people understand how much.

4. The part of this discussion that I care the most about and that may tie in to the last few posts that I have made are about human nature and the place for healthy mature masculine behavior in society.

Point for is my biggest concern, only because point three has less numerical value, but I digress.

As a horny single man I have to deal with these issues daily. Their discussions dictate my day to day dealings with those of the female kind and my shape the way those who know me understand my merit (or weather I can consider a person with any of that).

It's a rough topic... set of topics. It's the stuff I like to mull over when I have spare cycles in my brains, and pick other peoples brains for. Like I'm pickin' yours. Do tell..

So apparently, some states have been sterilizing people against their will/and or understanding.

Yeah... I'm uh, full of fun news lately, but really you have to see this. Found this out after my friend who works for a Russian news site posted this link

CHECK THIS SHIZ OUT MANG!

Here's a few shots of the herb garden this year. There's a strawberry plant hanging under the tiny roof behind me.

I found out you can eat these chive flowers. They're really yummy. so zippy they're spicy


I don't know what this plant is


Same mystery plant. I think it's mint. If so a mojito party will be breaking out soon.


Organo, Thyme, Basil (of Course), Chives, Sage, Rosemary Cilantro, Catnip, and the mystery plant