I was about to post a comment, then decided otherwise.

Yuck

I don't particularly like that I am writing about this.

Especially so publicly. I will make it short. And maybe delete it.

Ever been a person that didn't "feel" much, never attended to it.. then at some point find yourself tangled up in a whirl of, um, emotions??

That anything remotely emotional would send you running, running as fast as you can because it takes too much effort and vulnerability to deal with it. Its messy and you are particular and have discerning tastes, so no one could really 'get in' even though they tried. That if you stayed away from potentially good people (guys) just so you don't have to worry about dealing with those feelings. Expiration dates are good, because you know that you will just have superficial fun in the moment, then go on.. Because it feels a lot safer.

Then you meet someone who has far superior emotional capabilities and the chemistry is right and you find yourself opening up with gentle persistence.

"I don't scare easy" they say, and that is wonderful; because you do. But you don't run, in fact you find yourself doing/saying things (and not doing things) that would never have been considered before.

And you care. You care a lot. It's become a part of you. There is no turning back.

You wish amazing things for that person. You find everything is about them and not so much yourself. I don't mean in a self neglect sort of way, but in that "I am no longer selfish" sort of way.

And you don't go anywhere, because you didn't think they would run/scare away.

But they did. *poof*

And that sucks.

No, it hurts.

Fuck, I hate that.

And you still wish amazing things for that person. With everything you have and all that you are you still want them to be happy, have success, fun, and would love to be able to take away their lost feelings, their past turmoil.. and you know you would, if you could.

It's a raw feeling. Maybe it will go away. I've never done this before.
I just know that the root canal I had done a couple of hours ago, is nothing in comparison to this.

And so I had to write.

To you, the first to challenge my attitude, feelings, knowledge set..

You know that I am authentic in my words, meaning and means..

I am not scaring off easily.