and I'm spent






Here's to hump day ya'all

Dropped some stuff off at Amvets today. Before donating, I went in where a 50% off everything sale turned the whole place into a discount lord of the flies, stuff everywhere.

Had to laugh at the dumpster next to the donation area, adorned by 3 estrip stickers. I cruised over to wegmans and a white toyota on Amherst street had 3 more.

Off to get cultured with Clerks II tonight.

Hope everybody enjoyed the weekend.

Alright, who flipped the November switch?? Friggin Ernesto remnants all over the place. I swear the rain had a sense of humor. I was at my parents during the afternoon and early evening yesterday and as I packed my car to come back this way, the rain would lighten from the back door only to intensify as I got to my trunk. Three separate times the tree I planted as a kid made sure a rain drop the size of Rhode Island would precisely where my hair is the thinnest.

I took the young'ns to see Talledega Nights last night. It wasn't one of my better parenting moves. Something about the Regal theaters can be a little artificial. The seats are comfy but the show started late as the theater had to get all their advertising in. I didn't mind too much, but the coming attraction for the Grudge 2 was almost 10 minutes long. I have no need to see the film now since they already showed all the "good parts." I was in the mood for some dumb fun and Will Ferrel certainly delievered. It wasn't the best of choices given that the youngest in my party was 8, but live and learn I guess.

The unitarian church on Elmwood was members do services during the summer time. One of the celebrants today was my ex. So being a good guy, I got the kids up and we went down and participated. It was a grand time. We all repaired to the Towne for breakfast and it was good way to kick off a cold sunday. After a long day in Cable wonderland on Friday, an really early day yesterday coordinating child pick up and drop off and this morning, I look forward to sleeping in tomorrow. Hold my calls.

I had to skip the debaunchery of Timika's birthday hoopla to be Dad. I seem to be on an every other estrip party mojo so next time watchout. This weekend was highlighted by the emptying of my paycheck at Office Depot to make sure everybody had what the needed for Wednesday.

To ensure, I get what I need I've been creating cover letters tonight to start looking outside the cable empire for other rewards.

Say a prayer for that resume over there.......

So, I hear Ice Cream calling, but let me close with Happy Birthday wishes to (e:terry), (e:mike), (e:ladycroft) and (e:nejifer). Congrats to (e:paul) and (e:theecarey) on wrapping up school. New job good wishes for Carey and her mad cow self as well as (e:imk2).

After all that hard work, let's celebrate Labor Day by taking it easy. If you need me leave a message, I'll get back you. In the interrm, head over to throwoutyourtv.com and watch Keith Olbermann tear Donald Rumsfeld a new one. I loved it.

What seemed like a very claustraphobic friday & saturday mellowed quite nicely. I think the PMTbirthday/graduation party was the high/slash turning point.

I have to work for the cable overlords until 7:30 on Fridays which blows. I was late picking up the kids and they all had places they had to be on Saturday so it was almost like a child drive by. Had to race number one son back to his mom's post Tae Kwon Do to race out to the Bills game where I'm moonlighting. The current assignment has me looking over a couple of suites at such an angle that you don't really see what's going on inside the stadium and time starts to get a little murky. I literally lost track of where things stood after the 9000th buffoon asked me where the mens room was ("down the hall, hang a louie").

The stupid game nearly went to overtime (Does anybody give that much of shit in preseason?). Fortunately I got out of Orchard Park and up the 24 Linwood hoopla in fairly short order. It was a great time. The house is beautiful and the company great as usual. Fun to see you all in person again. For the record, Imk, Jenks, and Ladycroft, you were definitely missed. Great time and I'll probably be teasing Carolinian for a few more days yet as I am that much of a jerk.

Got into bed a little after 3 after starting the day at 7. Woke to my cell phone ringing at the entirely acceptable hour of 11. The woman I went out with last week called to go see John and Mary at the Elmwood Festival. Woo-hoo! Score one for this old fart! We had a fine time. She had to work later in the day and I had number one son duty (he needed some guy time), but it was a fine way to spend some time. The festival is starting to look a little trapped in time, but John and Mary were great, even if John looked a little board.

I can almost face the work week.....almost.

Have a good monday folks

No, not me (but go ahead if it feels right). I've been nursing a summer cold (pain in the....), and feeling kind of well rode hard and put away wet. I decided to get my crap together and treat myself to a Spot breakfast. One tankard of house brew and a Mike on a croissant and my world feels a little righted. I got a bunch of errands done and the checkbook balanced ( what little there was to balance) and I still have a little time before going to work. I came back for my address book and found two tickets for concessions at Thursday in the Square sticking out of the B's. It must be a sign, a sign to go drink two beers at the Square when I get out at 7:30.

One shot of Dayquil later and I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready (sorry to end on a Spongebob note, but it's the drugs talking). Enjoy your Thursday, kids!!

It is so worth it. I just watched part one and was riveted and heartsick all over again. I haven't always gotten Spike Lee. but I've always admired him. This is a powerful peace of work and I'll be watching part 2. Get the whole story from the people who had to live not from those who were flown into cover it. It's very hard to watch, harder still not to.

See it

To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your failure to elect a competent president and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. The House of Representatives and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra', as in Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed". There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer Show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language, then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary, you won't have to use bad language so often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize".

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit, and Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents. Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American states will become "shires" (e.g., Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire).

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap, and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in
Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer, which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. It is lager. From November 1st only proper British bitter will be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "lager". The substances formerly known as "American beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine", with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose products will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine". This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or "gasoline" as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2007) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should be handled only by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

16. Last but not the least, and for heaven's sake.....it's Nuclear as in "clear" NOT Nucular.

"why o why can't I"