"Douche with Lysol" written by Hodown on estrip.org

11/14/07 05:28 - 54ºF - ID#42118

Douche with Lysol

Really Lysol can clean your vag and save your marriage? If that's the case I vote for dirty vag and being single.

paul writes at 07:02:45 11/28/07 - Comment #28575: I still can't believe this is real.

ladycroft writes at 03:48:54 11/15/07 - Comment #28020: oh my.

jbeatty writes at 07:08:12 11/14/07 - Comment #27958: If I encountered a woman that smelled of Lysol in her nether region I would run!

jenks writes at 06:24:07 11/14/07 - Comment #27949: P.S. Someone please send away for the brochure on feminine hygiene facts.

jenks writes at 06:23:06 11/14/07 - Comment #27948: Do you think they could say "daintiness" any more???

gross.

imk2 writes at 05:57:52 11/14/07 - Comment #27945: ok, if her vag is in need of lysol, maybe it's because a dirty dong was in it? maybe the husband should dip his dick in some battery acid and see if we can prevent this problem in the future?

james writes at 05:49:39 11/14/07 - Comment #27944: OMG LIBERTAD! I just spit coffee out of my nose with that comment!

seriously, I have nothing to say now. I forgot what my comment was.

mike writes at 05:48:19 11/14/07 - Comment #27943: so that's why you always smell so lemony fresh...

metalpeter writes at 05:47:05 11/14/07 - Comment #27942: I wonder if that really worked. Before I saw the picture I thought of the canned spray and thought but what happens when the guy goes down on her. But looking at the bottom it is a concentrate meaning that it is very strong and gets to the right strength with mixing with water. It still seems a little strange. I still wonder if that was true? I also wonder if that was made to use that way or if it was just someone's crazy idea.

libertad writes at 05:43:44 11/14/07 - Comment #27940: OMG that is scary. I can't even imagine how awful it would be if I had a vagina and used Lysol as a douche! It gives new meaning to the saying "It is so clean you can eat off of it".

Permalink: Douche_with_Lysol.html
Words: 24
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: work

11/06/07 03:04 - 34ºF - ID#42007

Maybe things are different in Italy

I work with this gentleman who is from Italy. He is uber high maintenance. On top of this sometimes he has the most odd requests. Like this one I just received:

Quick question: the brother of a client passed away. Do you have a sample note I could use or maybe suggest two lines?
Do you say something like....
Joe:
I was just told from Dave about the major loss you had in your family.
My deepest condolence to you and your family.

Do I have a sample note? Hmm, let me look in my files labeled "sample notes for death". Dude I have a hard enough time coming up with something to say off the top of my head, let alone coming up with things for you to say. My suggestion is just ignore it. That's what I do. Or you could go to www.someecards.com and use something like this:

Permalink: Maybe_things_are_different_in_Italy.html
Words: 157
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: work

11/02/07 05:38 - 53ºF - ID#41944

When Bosses are awesome

Ok so a while back I posted about my mid-year bonus. Basically what happened is our Company told us we weren't getting our bonuses when we thought we were getting them. In turn my boss cut me a personal check and gave me my bonus early. The deal was when the company paid us I'd just repay her. Well the Firm funally gave us our bonuses and I cut her a check. I mailed it to her with a Thank You note on a post-it (because that's how working professionals communicate). Anyways like 3 weeks have gone by and she didn't cash it. This morning I get a email from her saying to call her in the morning "in regards to the check". I knew for sure it didn't bounce because I've been SUPER careful about my spending and keeping that money in my account. I'd die if a check to her bounced.

Anyways I was so worried about why we had to have a call about it. And our call got delayed until 5:30pm. All day I kept thinking "why do we need a call?". So finally she calls me and her husband is on the call. I though WHOA this is no joke. So after ALL of that she tells me she is ripping up the check as an early birthday present. Wow, my mom doesn't even give me that much for my birthday. I kinda wanted to ask her to adopt me, but I didn't feel the time was right. Maybe next time I have a conf call with her and her husband I'll bring it up..

Permalink: When_Bosses_are_awesome.html
Words: 269
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: music

10/30/07 04:03 - 60ºF - ID#41888

Brit Brit

The long anticipated album Blackout drops today. And by long anticipated I mean I learned that its release is today because Circuit City is selling it for $8. This brings me to my question. Do I buy it? I've listened to it thanks to msn.com and my jobs internet connection. It's ok for the most part- ~~some~~ a lot of songs are awful. But it's only $8 and its good dancy music, in case I ever have a dance party in my shoe box apartment and need some dancy music action.

On a totally different note my mom asked me for a christmas list. I asked for the pig.

She didn't seem really into it. Her reasoning was "But you don't collect pigs". Well maybe I do now mom! I want that damn pig.

Permalink: Brit_Brit.html
Words: 139
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: charity

10/29/07 05:30 - 54ºF - ID#41864

In honor of Larry David

I have donated $20 to estrip under "Anonymous".

There was this episode of Curb where Larry David and Ted Dansen both contributed to a hospital and Ted did it under Anonymous- but told everyone and Larry donated under his name. Well, when the hospital announced Larry's name he got polite applause. When Anonymous was announced everyone cheered and clapped really loud. Larry was pissed that Anonymous was more popular than him even though it wasn't really Anonymous.

So in hopes that my great contribution to estrip will not go unnoticed and will earn me great accolades, I have made my contribution under anonymous.

Permalink: In_honor_of_Larry_David.html
Words: 102
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: farm animals

10/29/07 03:51 - 55ºF - ID#41862

Obsession

I want this pig. I have no idea why, but I'm in love with it. The price tag is stopping me from making this purchase, $125. I can't justify it. Ok maybe I can.

Permalink: Obsession.html
Words: 35
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: forest fire

10/22/07 04:24 - 76ºF - ID#41752

Update on the forest fire

My mom is trapped. She can't get out. They actually are actually putting together an evacuation plan. (e:lilho) suggested they drive down to Mexico and then drive back up to AZ. Only (e:lilho) would think of this.

And yes I am freaking out a little. I don't want to be an orphan by forest fire.

Permalink: Update_on_the_forest_fire.html
Words: 57
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: forest fire

10/22/07 04:20 - 76ºF - ID#41751

Who would play you in a movie?

Me and (e:lilho) were just discussing my mom's evacuation from San Diego. I was telling her they have to find out how to get out because the main road might be blocked by fire.

Below is our IM conversation:
hlokty33 : they are checking out now
shushu1015 : argh
shushu1015 : this sucks
hlokty33: ok so steve is giving his room to someone, and now they are trying to figure out how to get out
shushu1015: figuring out?
shushu1015: like they don't know how to get out of the hotel, or the city?
hlokty33: like you can't get out of SD certain ways because theres a fire in the way
shushu1015 : ok
shushu1015: so, they need to think fast
hlokty33: well its 30 miles away
shushu1015 : its like an action movie or something
hlokty33: ha ha ha
hlokty33: they just need to find another road- there is one they just have to ask where it is
shushu1015 : oh
shushu1015: ok
shushu1015: good
hlokty33: mom is going to call you when she is on the road
shushu1015: who would play mom?
hlokty33: hmm
hlokty33: jodi foster?
shushu1015: a younger sally field?
hlokty33: HA HA
shushu1015: lol
shushu1015: steve....
hlokty33: Steve Buschemi
shushu1015 : lol
shushu1015: omg
shushu1015: but steve isn't ugly
hlokty33: um- I feel like they are similar
hlokty33 : or billy bob thorton
hlokty33 : they all have the same gruffness
shushu1015 : lol
shushu1015 : or that guy from adaptations
hlokty33 : who?
shushu1015 : chris cooper
hlokty33 : hmm don't know him
hlokty33: he'd have to audition for the part
shushu1015: you would if you saw him
shushu1015: lol
shushu1015 : keifer sutherland

Permalink: Who_would_play_you_in_a_movie_.html
Words: 264
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: forest fires

10/22/07 03:44 - 76ºF - ID#41750

Playin with Fire

Last week my mom mentioned to me this random vacation she was going on some place in California. Being the good daughter that I am I tuned her out when she started with the "and golf and blah blah".

Fast forward to this week and the huge fires in San Diego. I get this IM from Sarah being like "Um do you know Mom is still in San Diego?". Well after reading the headlines on the front page of the NY Times I figure I should give her a call (side note (e:lilho) found out about the fires from PerezHilton. I found out from the NYT. Just saying..). So I call my moms cell figuring she'd be all "Hi, we're safe and on our way home." Yeah I was wrong. She was more like "Hi, our room smells like a campfire, the pool is full of soot and Steve is at the spa". I ask if she is at all concerned. She told me she can't vacation when she is seeing people with everything they own in their car because their house burned down, but her BF doesn't want to leave.

I read her the news and quoted her a few lines from news stories about how the fire ain't playin and they best get out. She is currently tracking down her BF and getting the heck out of San Diego.

Who is like "Forest fires don't scare me, I need a massage"?

Nothing says massage like this..

Permalink: Playin_with_Fire.html
Words: 251
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: work

10/16/07 03:18 - 63ºF - ID#41677

I refuse to participate in ridiculousnes

Apparently today is Boss Day. I was just made aware of this fact by a co-worker. She was quite upset that we hadn't yet gotten our Office Manager a gift for this important holiday. She then went to point out that during various other holidays our Office Manger gets us "gifts". I replied to her email that it is actually the firm who provides her with money to purchase things like lunches and trinkets for us, as soon as the firm provides me with cash I'll go out and buy something too. This didn't go over too well. Really though I refuse to "celebrate" every made up holiday (sweetest day, come on WTF?) that Hallmark thinks they can market. In conclusion from this point forward let it be know that I refuse to participate in ridiculousness.

jenks writes at 11:19:19 10/17/07 - Comment #26436: I'm with Jason. "refusing" oral sex is unacceptable.

That said- there are girls that don't give blowjobs? I'm not sure I'd ever heard of such a crazy thing. but I know a lot of guys who, while they may do it, sure do bitch about it. So I think it's fair to expect that of your girlfriend- but you sure as hell better return the favor- with at least as much enthusiasm/frequency as she does.

That's my new rule.

And hodown, I'm totally with you. And I love someecards.

lilho writes at 11:37:39 10/16/07 - Comment #26422: ummm, record amount of comments. i would like to say i refuse to be participate in ridiculousness-but i think i do. plus, i would like to be the boss, and make gift giving mandatory.

anne writes at 11:28:06 10/16/07 - Comment #26420: today at work one of my fellow co workers pointed out that every day is bosses day, because basically our (or at least mine) job is to come in to work and do stuff they don't want to/don't have time to do. So I say eff Bosses day and I'm cool with S&BJ day because I'm single so I'll just get some steak without the extra work involved.

fellyconnelly writes at 10:23:52 10/16/07 - Comment #26414: okay I am all for S&SC day!

oh and i just sent my boss a someecard saying 'i think afternoon naps will drive up stock prices' or something like that.

drew writes at 09:16:31 10/16/07 - Comment #26406: (e:metalpeter), I admire your willingness to "think outside the box" (what a horrible pun when speaking of oral sex), but even if this were legal in terms of prostitution laws (which I doubt), it would also most likely violate health codes (which I think is good--I really don't want to be eating where there is mass oral sex occuring). Finally, I think that places like hooters are for people that only want a little bit of action (otherwise they would be at the strip club, no?). I also doubt that this would make it any easier for hooters to hire waitresses. While I really don't know, my guess is that these women are like their customers--only wanting to go so far.

In short, I don't think that this is likely to happen at a national chain or anywhere.

joshua writes at 08:20:43 10/16/07 - Comment #26400: I don't think S&SC Day is unreasonable, but you'd have to trade V-Day for it. I think maybe some women would definitely be okay with this. Hehe.

imk2 writes at 08:13:22 10/16/07 - Comment #26399: hey, what about a steak and suck a clit day? i want one....TOMORROW.

mrmike writes at 07:36:34 10/16/07 - Comment #26398: Terrible to have a Steak and BJ day and only get a card.

james writes at 06:37:33 10/16/07 - Comment #26397: Your boss makes more money than you because, chances are, he is whiter than you and more male than you. As soon as he chops off his dick and is willing to give Marvin Gaye a spin... but until then forget about it

metalpeter writes at 05:34:58 10/16/07 - Comment #26391: Call me crazy but I think some Chain place should have national Stake and BJ day why not hooters they would be the perfect place. The steak would be a special sized steak and then you get a beer or some kind of drink and a Free blow Job. Think about it you are at the table eating them some ducks underneath and blows you as you eat they could even do it safely and put a condom on (if really skilled) with their mouth. When you cum that is it, it is time to pay the check, is $50 bucks to much? Again the key thing is that the BJ is free and you could turn it down but who would. I wish there was a company that had the balls to pull it off.

janelle writes at 04:28:57 10/16/07 - Comment #26385: Good luck getting an L & BJ day!

drew writes at 04:24:02 10/16/07 - Comment #26383: Wow. I am double being ripped off! I have not received a bosses day gift, nor have I received any pastor appreciation month appreciation!

I am in favor of made up holidays when they mean that I get stuff!

As for S & BJ day--I would prefer a lasagna. But since I am dieting, I will go for veggies instead of steak. I'm sure when all is said and done I won't care too much about the meal anyway.

jason writes at 04:20:31 10/16/07 - Comment #26381: Maybe they just don't like the end result. That's what Semenex is for. Remember that??

Or, some girls just don't give head. What a shame.

joshua writes at 04:15:23 10/16/07 - Comment #26380: The magic of S&BJ Day in comparison to Valentine's Day is that both days can really be any day, and if you are creative it can be affordable and enjoyable for all people involved. After all, once the steak is eaten and the BJ starts, at that point I'm not in it just for the BJ and nothing (barring the wrong time of the month) is going to stop me from trying to go further! Ha.

I think many times if a girl doesn't give BJs it probably has to do with a lack of confidence. It can be overcome (tee hee).

jason writes at 04:05:24 10/16/07 - Comment #26378: Yeah, there are lots that don't. And, I'll tell you this, I hate to sound petty, but I'll never date another girl who doesn't. For me, from now on, that is a requirement, and I don't ask the world of someone so I don't see it as unfair.

hodown writes at 03:58:45 10/16/07 - Comment #26376: Whoa- seriously there are girls who don't do BJs? Really? That's unacceptable.

jbeatty writes at 03:55:07 10/16/07 - Comment #26375: I too normally avoid participating in newly made up holidays (eg. Sweetest Day, Festivus). I may have to make an exception this year for Steak and Blowjob Day however.

jason writes at 03:51:48 10/16/07 - Comment #26374: March 14th! Mark it on your calendars!

You know, I haven't actually observed Steak and BJ day. That requires someone willing to indulge your fantasy. Plus, not all girlfriends give blow jobs. It's sort of hit-and-miss.

hodown writes at 03:37:13 10/16/07 - Comment #26373: I'm not sure if people do celebrate it, but Watson's Candy on Delaware does. Just wait until Valentine's Day (a somewhat legit "holiday") (e:jason) and (e:joshua) have a whole thing about it. They prefer to observe Steak and Blowjob Day instead (which honestly I cant blame them who doesnt like a steak and BJ combo?).

janelle writes at 03:33:40 10/16/07 - Comment #26372: I totally forgot about Sweetest Day until you just mentioned it. Do people do that in Buffalo?

janelle writes at 03:32:17 10/16/07 - Comment #26371: Mmmhhmm, Boss's day is BS.
I also try to stay away from staff appreciation events or staff parties. My old workplace practically made those events mandatory which was a real burden on the staff who worked two jobs, went to school and had kids. How stupid is that shit?
I refuse to give out Xmas cards or buy little gifts for co-workers or supervisors, too.
Sometimes, I feel bad when I get little things, but not bad enough to reciprocate!