"Buffalo" written by Hodown on estrip.org

11/15/07 03:26 - 40ºF - ID#42145

Buffalo

According to New York Magazine if you're looking for the next new place to live it's:

That's right. They say forget Brooklyn, as a matter of fact forget New York City all together. Move to Buffalo now before the gentrification takes over and makes it took expensive. I'm going to hold off and wait for global warming to kick in. The snow scares me.

Permalink: Buffalo.html
Words: 66
Location: Jersey City, NJ

11/14/07 05:28 - 54ºF - ID#42118

Douche with Lysol

Really Lysol can clean your vag and save your marriage? If that's the case I vote for dirty vag and being single.

paul writes at 07:02:45 11/28/07 - Comment #28575: I still can't believe this is real.

ladycroft writes at 03:48:54 11/15/07 - Comment #28020: oh my.

jbeatty writes at 07:08:12 11/14/07 - Comment #27958: If I encountered a woman that smelled of Lysol in her nether region I would run!

jenks writes at 06:24:07 11/14/07 - Comment #27949: P.S. Someone please send away for the brochure on feminine hygiene facts.

jenks writes at 06:23:06 11/14/07 - Comment #27948: Do you think they could say "daintiness" any more???

gross.

imk2 writes at 05:57:52 11/14/07 - Comment #27945: ok, if her vag is in need of lysol, maybe it's because a dirty dong was in it? maybe the husband should dip his dick in some battery acid and see if we can prevent this problem in the future?

james writes at 05:49:39 11/14/07 - Comment #27944: OMG LIBERTAD! I just spit coffee out of my nose with that comment!

seriously, I have nothing to say now. I forgot what my comment was.

mike writes at 05:48:19 11/14/07 - Comment #27943: so that's why you always smell so lemony fresh...

metalpeter writes at 05:47:05 11/14/07 - Comment #27942: I wonder if that really worked. Before I saw the picture I thought of the canned spray and thought but what happens when the guy goes down on her. But looking at the bottom it is a concentrate meaning that it is very strong and gets to the right strength with mixing with water. It still seems a little strange. I still wonder if that was true? I also wonder if that was made to use that way or if it was just someone's crazy idea.

libertad writes at 05:43:44 11/14/07 - Comment #27940: OMG that is scary. I can't even imagine how awful it would be if I had a vagina and used Lysol as a douche! It gives new meaning to the saying "It is so clean you can eat off of it".

Permalink: Douche_with_Lysol.html
Words: 24
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: work

11/06/07 03:04 - 34ºF - ID#42007

Maybe things are different in Italy

I work with this gentleman who is from Italy. He is uber high maintenance. On top of this sometimes he has the most odd requests. Like this one I just received:

Quick question: the brother of a client passed away. Do you have a sample note I could use or maybe suggest two lines?
Do you say something like....
Joe:
I was just told from Dave about the major loss you had in your family.
My deepest condolence to you and your family.

Do I have a sample note? Hmm, let me look in my files labeled "sample notes for death". Dude I have a hard enough time coming up with something to say off the top of my head, let alone coming up with things for you to say. My suggestion is just ignore it. That's what I do. Or you could go to www.someecards.com and use something like this:

Permalink: Maybe_things_are_different_in_Italy.html
Words: 157
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: work

11/02/07 05:38 - 53ºF - ID#41944

When Bosses are awesome

Ok so a while back I posted about my mid-year bonus. Basically what happened is our Company told us we weren't getting our bonuses when we thought we were getting them. In turn my boss cut me a personal check and gave me my bonus early. The deal was when the company paid us I'd just repay her. Well the Firm funally gave us our bonuses and I cut her a check. I mailed it to her with a Thank You note on a post-it (because that's how working professionals communicate). Anyways like 3 weeks have gone by and she didn't cash it. This morning I get a email from her saying to call her in the morning "in regards to the check". I knew for sure it didn't bounce because I've been SUPER careful about my spending and keeping that money in my account. I'd die if a check to her bounced.

Anyways I was so worried about why we had to have a call about it. And our call got delayed until 5:30pm. All day I kept thinking "why do we need a call?". So finally she calls me and her husband is on the call. I though WHOA this is no joke. So after ALL of that she tells me she is ripping up the check as an early birthday present. Wow, my mom doesn't even give me that much for my birthday. I kinda wanted to ask her to adopt me, but I didn't feel the time was right. Maybe next time I have a conf call with her and her husband I'll bring it up..

Permalink: When_Bosses_are_awesome.html
Words: 269
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: music

10/30/07 04:03 - 60ºF - ID#41888

Brit Brit

The long anticipated album Blackout drops today. And by long anticipated I mean I learned that its release is today because Circuit City is selling it for $8. This brings me to my question. Do I buy it? I've listened to it thanks to msn.com and my jobs internet connection. It's ok for the most part- ~~some~~ a lot of songs are awful. But it's only $8 and its good dancy music, in case I ever have a dance party in my shoe box apartment and need some dancy music action.

On a totally different note my mom asked me for a christmas list. I asked for the pig.

She didn't seem really into it. Her reasoning was "But you don't collect pigs". Well maybe I do now mom! I want that damn pig.

Permalink: Brit_Brit.html
Words: 139
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: charity

10/29/07 05:30 - 54ºF - ID#41864

In honor of Larry David

I have donated $20 to estrip under "Anonymous".

There was this episode of Curb where Larry David and Ted Dansen both contributed to a hospital and Ted did it under Anonymous- but told everyone and Larry donated under his name. Well, when the hospital announced Larry's name he got polite applause. When Anonymous was announced everyone cheered and clapped really loud. Larry was pissed that Anonymous was more popular than him even though it wasn't really Anonymous.

So in hopes that my great contribution to estrip will not go unnoticed and will earn me great accolades, I have made my contribution under anonymous.

Permalink: In_honor_of_Larry_David.html
Words: 102
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: farm animals

10/29/07 03:51 - 55ºF - ID#41862

Obsession

I want this pig. I have no idea why, but I'm in love with it. The price tag is stopping me from making this purchase, $125. I can't justify it. Ok maybe I can.

Permalink: Obsession.html
Words: 35
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: forest fire

10/22/07 04:24 - 76ºF - ID#41752

Update on the forest fire

My mom is trapped. She can't get out. They actually are actually putting together an evacuation plan. (e:lilho) suggested they drive down to Mexico and then drive back up to AZ. Only (e:lilho) would think of this.

And yes I am freaking out a little. I don't want to be an orphan by forest fire.

Permalink: Update_on_the_forest_fire.html
Words: 57
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: forest fire

10/22/07 04:20 - 76ºF - ID#41751

Who would play you in a movie?

Me and (e:lilho) were just discussing my mom's evacuation from San Diego. I was telling her they have to find out how to get out because the main road might be blocked by fire.

Below is our IM conversation:
hlokty33 : they are checking out now
shushu1015 : argh
shushu1015 : this sucks
hlokty33: ok so steve is giving his room to someone, and now they are trying to figure out how to get out
shushu1015: figuring out?
shushu1015: like they don't know how to get out of the hotel, or the city?
hlokty33: like you can't get out of SD certain ways because theres a fire in the way
shushu1015 : ok
shushu1015: so, they need to think fast
hlokty33: well its 30 miles away
shushu1015 : its like an action movie or something
hlokty33: ha ha ha
hlokty33: they just need to find another road- there is one they just have to ask where it is
shushu1015 : oh
shushu1015: ok
shushu1015: good
hlokty33: mom is going to call you when she is on the road
shushu1015: who would play mom?
hlokty33: hmm
hlokty33: jodi foster?
shushu1015: a younger sally field?
hlokty33: HA HA
shushu1015: lol
shushu1015: steve....
hlokty33: Steve Buschemi
shushu1015 : lol
shushu1015: omg
shushu1015: but steve isn't ugly
hlokty33: um- I feel like they are similar
hlokty33 : or billy bob thorton
hlokty33 : they all have the same gruffness
shushu1015 : lol
shushu1015 : or that guy from adaptations
hlokty33 : who?
shushu1015 : chris cooper
hlokty33 : hmm don't know him
hlokty33: he'd have to audition for the part
shushu1015: you would if you saw him
shushu1015: lol
shushu1015 : keifer sutherland

Permalink: Who_would_play_you_in_a_movie_.html
Words: 264
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: forest fires

10/22/07 03:44 - 76ºF - ID#41750

Playin with Fire

Last week my mom mentioned to me this random vacation she was going on some place in California. Being the good daughter that I am I tuned her out when she started with the "and golf and blah blah".

Fast forward to this week and the huge fires in San Diego. I get this IM from Sarah being like "Um do you know Mom is still in San Diego?". Well after reading the headlines on the front page of the NY Times I figure I should give her a call (side note (e:lilho) found out about the fires from PerezHilton. I found out from the NYT. Just saying..). So I call my moms cell figuring she'd be all "Hi, we're safe and on our way home." Yeah I was wrong. She was more like "Hi, our room smells like a campfire, the pool is full of soot and Steve is at the spa". I ask if she is at all concerned. She told me she can't vacation when she is seeing people with everything they own in their car because their house burned down, but her BF doesn't want to leave.

I read her the news and quoted her a few lines from news stories about how the fire ain't playin and they best get out. She is currently tracking down her BF and getting the heck out of San Diego.

Who is like "Forest fires don't scare me, I need a massage"?