A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his
wife stayed home.

He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my
wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so
please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. -

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids,
set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the
groceries, paid the bills and balanced the check book.

He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

Then it was already 1P.M. and he hurried to make the beds,

do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and

Mop the kitchen floor.

Ran to the school to pick up the kids and

got into an argument with them on the way home.

Set out milk and cookies and

got the kids organized to do their homework,

then set up the ironing board and

watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and

washing vegetables for salad,

breaded the pork chops and

snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, he cleaned the kitchen,

ran the dishwasher,

folded laundry,

bathed the kids, and put them to bed.

At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't
finished,

he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he
managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and
said:

-"Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy
my

wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh! oh! please,
let us

trade back."

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:

"My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be
happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to
wait nine months though. You got pregnant last night."

Okay, it's another work related post, but it's my first week so deal. We were setting up for this kid friendly Halloween event last night and I was laughing about the whole thing. We were setting up trick or treat stations throughout the zoo under the watchful eye of the animals. They do pay attention when something weird is going on.

Along one of the back walk ways a coworker and myself built this little station right next to the black manaque monkeys, five of which came right to the window so see what was up. The Serval two doors down did the same thing. We had a couple of pallets of donated cookies that went into the roon under the watchful eye of one of the Buffalos, who was none too pleased when a pallet slipped off the forklift. It's a little creepy and kind of cool at the same time. There are three windows in the gorilla house and last night, the gorillas were doing all the looking, like they were inspecting.

I didn't get nervous until I had to set up a larger exhibit in the reptile house where we were going to crank out cider and donuts for revelers. To get from where the snacks were to the party locale, I had to go through one of those off limits areas. The one I went through was were some of the off limited animals were hanging. A Snow leopard took careful note when I came schlepting through with cups and whatnot. When myself and a colleague made another pass through, this time with 15 dozen donuts, I swear he shot me a look that said "C'mon man, help a four legged brother out and toss me a few..."

Or maybe not, but this is shaping up to be cool place to work. Downside is I have to work next saturday night till about 9 so if I can make it to the 24 for the party, my costume will probably a decent 43 year old who had to work that day.

My new job does have some interesting side effects. I was reminded of an incident from college. I was taking a History final in a small class of about 15. Only noise was pens scribbling in blue books until this friend of mine, a really attractive woman, got a attack of hunger pains. You know the kind. Suddenly your stomach is speaking yiddish and doing it loudly: "Oyyyoyy Oyyoyy." The previous quiet in the room only magnified the hilarity. She was a great sport. Anyway, a similar thing happened today. It was one of my first staff meetings and one of the sea lions let loose with a speech heard across the zoo. Lil Devil timed it just right to let the air out of what my boss's spring fund raiser plans.

You'd think the vets would be used to it, kind of like living near train tracks, but some things just are funny.

It is kind of cool to go down the office stairs and turn right to the Lions window, two of which were right there filling up the window. This is a recommendation that if you are zoo inclined, off days can be interesting. Animals everywhere were just chilling. The other entrance to get to my office isn't too far away from the gorillas all of whom were just hanging out doing their monkey business.

It's like performers practicing when the spotlights are off.

Still settling into my new professional digs, I think it's going to work okay. I like the fact that an issue came up and my boss made the effort to include me in the consensus being taken. Her boss didn't so it was nice to see a polite message sent. She immediately followed that up with a "Now that Michael is here,...." email which was nice. It's an interesting time to be joining in. The year is essentially over and there is much plotting to do but that can't start until the calendar is set. While we get past the Halloween promotion, I've been doing a lot of research. It's interesting to see how things work and how they've been done previously, it's been decidely low key.

Part of me wants to run around like the little brother on The Christmas Story proclaiming what is mine, but that will come in time. Right now, I'm slowing filling in a void that has been empty for two months. So, it's that new guy period of adjustment for all parties, which has always driven me crazy when I've started somewhere, but it will pass. Made me feel good that two folks sought me out for a lunch time walk around the park ring road. I think that alone qualifies it for the coolest park yard of any employer I may have had previously.

So far, so good.

A souvenir from my sister's wedding at the Garrison Spa




I was going to make it a user pic, but cropped like that it looks like it I'm running for something. But a good suit photo for fans of such things.The newlyweds must have sold their souls at some point, given how autumnal the weather suddenly became. They got a sunny day around 85, nice clouds as highlights for the mountains for backdrops of pictures. Ceremony was good and original (as well as short). The reception, well, wedding receptions are about as much fun as a pre-scripted party can be. The food was eclectic, reflecting the ethic groups of the happy couple. Might be the only time Guinness and Pierogi intentionally debuted near each other. I had never been to that part of the state. My kids and I packed into a rented Camry the day before and barrelled down the highway till we saw signs for NYC within 50 miles before be routed up I84 to where we were camped in Fishkill, NY.

The Rehearsal Dinner was in the Riverview Restaurant in Cold Spring where I swear the wait staff was made up of low talkers (remember that Seinfeld episode?). I thought I was going deaf, turned out the waiter was a mumbler. Only time I ever ordered anything by asking for the last thing he said. Fortunately, the scallops were good.

My folks threw a rather bloated party for relatives and friends at what I swear was TGIFridays with a railroad theme. It got too big and I think they realize that. It wasn't that it wasn't fun. The restaurant just did a craptastic job of seating a large party. As a result, talking to the people I knew and the all too infrequently seen relatives was a chore. The latter kind of stunk because I was trying to introduce my kids to a few great aunt and uncles that they previously never met or just flat out didn't remember.

Made it back here in six hours and rested up for the previously journaled experience of Monday Night Football.

Had to laugh when in an informal meeting today, we hit one of those moments where the conversation stopped. A few moments of quiet were then punctuated with a decisive moan from a sea lion having a bad day.

Cable could never top that.

Completed my TW term yesterday. My lovely associated produced a really good rum soaked pound cake for the occasion that we snacked on all afternoon. The leftovers and a bottle of locally produced Merlot came home with me. The leftovers disappeared last night and I'm working on the wine right now and it is quite good (www.springlakewinery.com). The trials of the week left me whipped. The kids are all farmed out on various overnights. Tried to gather myself to see "Across the Universe" at the Amherst but it ain't gonna happen. Spent the better part of the afternoon with number one son at my new and improved employer meandering around in the gale force winds. I did snag a couple of tiger wristbands so you're all set (e:Ladycroft). I'll get one in the mail in the next few days.

Did my final TW credits on Friday. Got the unexpected but thoroughly enjoyable visit from (e:uncutsaniflush) and (e:lettuce) . Next guy I waited on mentioned that he thought we all might be drinking buddies. Little did he know. Cleaned out my desk and packed an box for my next work stop. Got to love the monday commute 5 minutes! The toughest part will be making a left onto Delaware at 8AM. Gonna be fun. My office hasn't had DVRs for awhile and I like how I solved that problem, don't need no steenking DVRs anymore. Reboot your modems kids, cuz I can't anymore.

A brief bid of tribute. My Dad turns a very youthful 71 tomorrow. Since he had a prime role in last weekend's wedding, the folks are taking the weekend off. We're gonna party at some point. For a present, I wrangled suite seats for a Bills game in November. I know, a Bills Game, but to see it from the heated, fully stocked suite is a nice treat. He's a Notre Dame Grad so I had to taunt him a little with the backpage from ESPN the magazine. For the unitiated, just outside the one end of the Notre Dame stadium is the campus library. On the side facing the stadium is a mural of Jesus in one of his usual poses. With outstetched arms, the picture has been dubbed "Touchdown Jesus." Given that Notre Dame is really bad this season, a wag at ESPN altered it to be "Fourth Down Jesus." It seemed to a be a nice, smartypants card for the original nice smarty pants.

Happy Birthday, Dad

Okay, work was really dull yesterday. Went a little nuts with photoshop and the paramount tv web site. Enjoy

Being a tiny part of a big event can be exciting and even though Monday Night Football is on cable now, it hasn't lost any of its circus like nature. I was sort of dreading working it since a lot of visiting fans get stuck in the end zones and you know what that usually means.

Even the drive to the stadium took on a different feel. I got in early and was glad I did. Coming up Abbott Rd, ESPN had set up the ESPN experience so there were people spilling out of that tent onto the street. Crossing Southwestern Blvd to the actual stadium area, vendors doubled their usual number. The lots were full. The Bills have a big "thing" in their fieldhouse, but moved it outside for ESPN's benefit.

It was kind of fun to watch the preparations inside. ESPN's pregame crew was at the end zone opposite me for which I was grateful. THE espn talent was going to draw a crowd. The show Pardon the Interruption was done closer to where I usually hang. I've seen a number of live tv shows so that wasn't a big deal, although it was fun to watch all the buffalo sports reporters all staighten up a little bit as the ESPN guys walked past. Guess the Buffalo dudes were thinking they might get discovered if they look good.



The game itself, you all know about. Fans can be such assholes to each other. A woman in Dallas gear ran headlong into a guy getting directions from me, splashing us both with overpriced Bud Light. Instead of any apologies, all she could mutter was "Where the fuck is this seat?" Without missing a beat, I replied with "Right fucking down there." Last I saw of here. Now, Cowboy fans in this area, are like NY Yankee fans. They just appear. Last Night, that seemed to bring out the worst in some residents of Bills Nation. I turned my back for a second and a Dallas rooter got a beer tossed on him by a cowardly Bills goof. I had to kwell two different testosterone injected arguments, including one between two guys dressed up like Hulk Hogan.

It meant a lot of extra trips up and down my 39 steps so my knees aren't speaking to me today. I knew it was going to be a little weird as I checked in for work. There is an employee gate where anybody working the game shows up to. On one wall, there is a poster of MYP's from last week's game. They take the pictures from the ID badges and my badge pic stinks, but there I was on display. A photo worthy of the most fashionable mugshot.



So, from the fireworks to the GOfast guy landing his jetpack on the field to the hoopla with ESPN and that floating field camera of theirs, quite a night and a surreal way to end a weekend.

I spent Friday through Sunday in Fishkill and Cold Spring, NY. My younger sister got married at a spa/club/Resort called the Garrison. My guys and I logged a lot of Route 17 miles. The New Paltz signs made me think of (e:fellyconnelly) and (e:lauren). Forgot my laptop, it was refreshing and a little disorienting to have that sense of disconnect. The ceremony and reception were nice. My folks threw a party at the Cold Spring Depot restaurant that night to cap off festivities.

Good Suit picture of me to follow. Have a good Tuesday everybody. I'm taking today off.

I've been whored out whoring for cable. Last year's photo, this year's propaganda. The uniform does nothing for me. It's on the company web site, you can imagine my shock - especially since I've got one foot out the door

Whenever I do the Bills game thing, I'll tend to drift to someplace to get a decent breakfast out, because game day lunches are pretty hypothetical. That said, I didn't sleep real well last night thanks to some epic back spasms. They went away thanks to Aleve with a side, actually a pint or two of Guinness. I found myself at the Towne this morning sleepily looking through the Sunday paper and scarfing down eggs, coffee and sundries. I was morning reading and thought for all the world somebody was calling me. I wasn't sure so I kept reading, eating, coffee slurping, etc.

Happened again ( I think), and I looked over and saw nothing. So if you were in the Towne, saw me from afar and I snubbed you, please accept my apologies. I wasn't trying to be aloof, it just worked out this way. If this was not case, please instruct the voices in my head to cool it.

Today was kinda of sucky out there. People were piling into seats not their own, which put some folks out which had me doing a lot of shuttle diplomacy up and down my aisle during the first quarter. Got that settled with some verbal jousting, only to see one guy relive the 8 beers he had in the parking lot all over the people in front of him. It was one of the days where despite the great weather, you wonder why you do this -- and then I remember the extra cash and keep on keeping on. I'm not a big fan of little kids at the Bills games due to the high amount of drunken assholes, but one little thing did crack me. A little girl of 4 was on her dad's shoulders screaming "Let's go Buffalo" with some impressive conviction. Being the jerk that I am, gave her a high five on her way out. That aside, I'm not really looking forward to Monday Night Footbal next week -- I'm too busy thinking of the Zoo the week after! Funny what a win will do. People are leaving the stadium thinking the Bills aren't all that bad. Keep dreaming folks, I'm happy about getting asked to work the Sabres outdoor game on New Year's. That could fool around and be fun.

I'm thinking of the Halloween E strip party when my son presented me with one of those fake hatchets that fit on your head so it looks like you got bludgeoned. I believe my costume will be that of a deceased peep.

Time for a pint, I've earned it.

a geek gets his wings....

In spring 2005, I was slaving away at the Adelphia call center. Didn't have to talk to anybody so I had my IPOD keeping me company. One night from hell, I was putting it in my jacket pocket and the lil devil slipped to the floor, killing it. Drove out to the mac store and they replaced it. On the way home, I got the call for my marketing gig that was laced with many free dinners from cable channels (that will have to be the subject of another journal sometime). I already wrote about my current ipod swirling down the digital drainpipe. I got the zoo call the next day. It's a nice pattern, hope it sticks this time.

Let the cat out of the bag yesterday at TW. My boss was on the road and nearly drove her SUV up a telephone in Mayville. She and my other sup were very cool about the whole thing. Get your cable questions in, because after 10/15, no more peep credit. Internet gets slow, all I can do is give you a train ride ticket. I called her around 11:30 and by 3:00, my current job was posted internally. You want free cable, it was posted for anybody on the TW site this morning. With the bosses two counties away, it was interesting to see just how fast I became gossip fodder. If the company was that efficient on all matters, we might have more satisfied customers.
But alas...

Elsewhere, I was reading about the marketing geniuses on the thruway authority who want to take away discounts for paypass and raise rates, because people aren't using the thruway system as much. Apparently, it's never dawned on them that they might want to discount or try to entice people to use the system with paypass so they can save by using the system. Or perhaps trying cutting costs as well. Stupidheads!!!

Thanks for all the post interview good vibes, peeps, you guys indeed rock. Oh, and (e:enknot) , a bit of veteran father advice to a newbie. If you hear something in the middle of the night, get your butt up. That said, congrats to you and Meg. Well done, good sir