Organizational meeting today in front of about 20 people. We each had to introduce ourselves to the new vp. After the round table completed, he made some introductory remarks. He gestured to his new monkey boy, "This is xxxxxxxxxxx, he'll be taking Michael's (me) position."

The meeting went on for another 45 minutes. I didn't hear any of it. I knew it was coming but to hear it stated that way made me feel like shit. I can imagine monkey boy was a little uncomfortable too, but I could have cared less. Shit like that makes you wonder about attention spans. Half the people in the meeting were sales reps. 3 of which HAD to stop me after the meeting search for more beef on me (there is none).

It would have been against all laws of corporate behavior, manhood in general, and what not to go to my desk, put my head down and cry a little, but an two hours later I don't have much energy for much else.

Check my title, this both sucks and blows.

My aunt Lizzie passed away this afternoon. She was 82, quite fond of smoke and fonder still of drink, and had a full ride. We knew it was coming and so did she. She was diagnosed with cancer of everywhere it seemed a few months back.

I admire the fact that she took that in stride. She was of the opinion that "I had a nice run." She got to go in peace in her own bed and on her own terms. How many of us can say that. She was able to will herself to hang in there until the out of towners could arrive to say goodbye. When my wife and I split, she was the first to say how little that mattered, that there was always a place of me at her table and a cold beer when I needed one. That's what made it easy. When you meet your significant others family, it can be intimidating. First time I met the family was in Towne Gardens and despite how cool my in-laws are and were then, it was a little daunting to greet them en masse. But Lizzie was of a mind set that not only was I welcome, but what took me so long get there in the first place.

She told my daughter not to cry for her, that there really wasn't anything to be sad about. I later told my child that she should do whatever works best for her, but Lizzie's point was that she didn't get cheated and leaves on her own terms.

Me, I guess I feel bad that I don't feel worse. I admire that she was able to pick her time and essentially tell Cancer to fuck off until she got to see everybody once more. Mostly because it didn't feel right, we postponed my daughter's birthday revelry for a few days (still gave her the non-ipod today).

I miss Lizzie already. The "we all just folks, that's it" way she approached people should be law. So, I could go to Shakespeare for the gathering but it didn't seem right. We didn't birthday party today, we just hung out family style and raised the occasional glass to Aunt Lizzie.

Miss you, Lizzie!

Paul Weller and Noel Gallagher doing "That's Entertainment" It was the first thing to go right today. I didn't get my mail Tuesday, instead grabbed it on my way to work. Something about reading a rejection letter with your morning coffee can color the whole day. Fate really hates me. Within a hour, 3 different managers wanted to find out what my story was with the transition to Time Warner. Apparently, my boss telling them I was being forced to a new department was a complicated concept for them to get the arms around.

While this was transpiring, I got an email that I was behind on my cable bill (I was), so I had to go fix that. An incentive I was running got complicated and problem laden. I've yet to get my introductory crap and am still waiting literally for my Time Warner pot to pee in.

I think my last nerve is coming unspooled.

All this just to find out we're getting Adult Swim on Demand when the new bosses come in.

I stopped by the house formerly known as mine to drop off a pooh bear for my nephew and my daughter was making cookies.

It's funny what will keep you from going to pieces.

In between death, taxes, and spreading news about death to the family with a side of working in the middle of a silly ass merger, forcing my sisters to grow the fuck up and place, monday found me in serious need of some cosmic serenity, Monday night found me with no obligations to be anyplace so I headed out to the marina. As (e:jenks) once said, "if you leave your house, you occasionally see people." I did the stroll down the to the tower at the edge of the marina and took the attached by doing that incredible photographic stunt of turning 90 degrees (it's a tricky one when your feet are all thumbs.)
















The last one came from my spot at the ice cream stand. I figured I was entitled, having hiked the marina to the tower and back again.

You gotta reward yourself, ya know...

If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes," delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it.This is the most dangerous e-mail virus yet.

It will re-write your harddrive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to yourcomputer.

It will recalibrate yourrefrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and milk curdles.

It will demagnetize the strips onall your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.

It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number.

It will mix anti freeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table whenthere's company coming over.

It will hide your car keys when youare late for work and interfere with your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic. Badtimes will make you fall in love with a hardened criminal.

It will give you nightmares about circus midgets.

It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their dates and rendezvous to your Visa card. Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease.

It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, and refill your skim milk with whole.

It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.

It is also a rather interestingshade of mauve.These are just a few signs.

Be very, very afraid.

I understand life is unfair. Hell, that's the world for you and in the middle of the TW-Adelphia takeover, I'm doing my best to roll with the punches but I'm feeling worked and it has a trickle down effect on everything else.

I've had estrip on a lot in the background to help keep my sanity. I'm being shoved aside not for some marketing wunderkind, but for a recent college grad who's rents are connected with the people who make a lot of cable tchotckeys, tote bags and crap. Essentially, I've been dealt to ensure a steady supply of souvenirs. That does not do wonders for one's self esteem. My big mouth got me into trouble too. When the transition happens, hourly employees will not get paid for a week, yet salaried won't miss a beat. I pointed out the double standard as well as how patronizing it was to tell hourlies "to save a little" for the transition.
My question of "Why punish those who could afford the least?" I'm thinking if the salaried folks can seamlessly work their way in, why can't the hourlies? We get commission and ot. I'm fine with settling that in, but if salary is going to get pinched, do for all or not at all.

I'm doing my best to cope with the shift in position -- Went to my new desk and posted a coming soon -- watch this space sign, with but not too closely in small print and the three women closest started carping about is that your desk? are you sitting there? Perhaps we should break you at that spot instead?

Oy vey! I can work with anybody, but this is going to be tough.

My current department had a work gathering to go to at the ballpark (causing me to miss India.Arie (dammit)), but it felt good to sit in the sun and have a few cold beers and forget about all the prima donnas and troublesome finances and questionable social life.

I got a funny feeling I'm not going to get the job I interviewed for before the holiday.

My esteem is taking a beating, sort of screaming in a crowded room and nobody turns.

Sucks

Gotta love people with too much time on their hand. The President never sounded better.

I can see my house from here, well not really, but this was pretty cool. This was the view from the birdseye seats at Holland Speedway last night where the caution flags appeared on a average of every 1 and 1/2 laps. These guys aren't Jeff Gordon, which is what made them fun to watch
Holland runs midget races on the 8 track and yes two "kissed"






They even had their own fireworks. Ever tried to take a picture of those. It ain't easy.




Regardless of smash-ups, somebody always made it to the winner's circle. Got to admire the passion of those folks. For me it was a fun night out and some nice cold beer with a friend after a long day at work. For many of those folks, it's a lifestyle.

Fun night out if you are ever inclined

Happy 4th everybody!

I always worry about a little about the various fireworks shows that are visible from the thruways because the last thing you need around here are Western New York drivers ooh-ing and aahing at 70 mph, especially when they are taking calls etc.

I had an expected blast last night. A work colleague invited me down to the Holland Speedway for some auto racing. I've never been a big Nascar fan or anything but it seemed like a hoot. We've done some promo work for the track owner so he replied with a couple of passes. We saw him immediately upon coming through the gates. So, he hooked us up. "Follow me" were the instructions. We went up a steep flight of stairs behind the grandstand into the building at the top, passed a few Suites, behind the officials booth, up a steep flight of stairs behind the closed circuit broadcast team, through a door and out onto a patio that gave a view of the whole park. I could see my house from there (not really), but it truly was the best seat in the house.

It's mostly local guys who like to race, with a bunch of different types of cars thorough out the night. They know just enough to be dangerous. The midget 8 track race on the infield looked like it was going to yield a bunch of carnage, as it was pretty obvious the drivers weren't "family." The late model race had the most money at stake in terms of what the drivers put into their cars. We're not talking Nascar talent so a 40 lap race took forever to complete. They couldn't get a complete lap in without something happening, wrecks, parts falling what have ya.

I took away from this that watching the leader was always dull. It's watching the goings on back in the pack, because somebody was inevitably starting something.

The track had a nice lil fireworks show to close the night. Not bad for the price of a few drinks.

Enjoy the holiday, ya'all

You can sure tell who is low on the totem pole by who is in the office today. I have a wicked bad case of "Don't want to be here today." About half of the people who should be in on a Monday aren't (bastards!). Gets me out of the usual staff meeting b.s.
The four folks I work with and I have to sit through two hours of nonsense each Monday so other groups can feel like they have their say. They are in for such a rude awakening when Time Warner comes in, whenever that happens.

I haven't heard yet about the interview that I had last week or been given all the paperwork I need to go to my next posting if that job doesn't happen. I'm told that will happen later this week, but I'd like the 2nd interview more so. Guess the holiday slows down paperwork flow and decision makings at the same time. In either case, best be prepared, got the go meet the system vice president interview suit all set to go.

Was forced to go out into the community last night. The laundry in my building was down and holy crap did I need to do some. I spent a little more at the Elmwood/Auburn laundramat, but the machines did a little better, I saw a few folks cruising the street and a mocha spot shake between cycles always brightens a fluff and fold ya'know.

I'm thinking my 11 year old is messing with my head. She was pontificating about all the protesting that her big sister was doing when it came to spending this past weekend at my place. I'm slowly getting smarter, let her talk out, asking the occasionally question, but letting her have her say. Seemed to work as she enjoyed the art gallery and swimming Friday, more swimming, dinner and Superman on Saturday and more pool yesterday.

Both of them occasionally get on me about the small apartment and whatnot and I'm rolling with the punches fairly well. It is sometimes tough to know where you stand when you're in my shoes. I guess I'm getting a little better at guessing. My son's a little easier to figure. But the Father daughter thing is complex enough when everybody is under one roof, but when the "family" is unique it can be a tough dance, especially when my feet were all thumbs. I tell them I'm working on the apartment thing. Space, as you all know, is a pricey thing in this neighborhood.

But I think all three of them had a overall good time. Most mornings, I'm fairly sluggish waking up, but my son provided a moment of instant clarity Sunday morning. A Bad dream had him up at 4 in the morning and had me moving quick. Not knowing what was up initially, I woke right up.

It's catching up to me now.

zzzzzzzzz