For Christmas this year I tried a new way of cooking the turkey. I enlisted Rory's help because it was grossing me out, but hey, got a 13 pound turkey cooked in an hour and ten minutes! Got the idea from our favorite cooking criminal, Martha Stewart.

They made it look so easy in the magazine I thought it would take about 15 minutes to mutilate, but ended up taking an hour! Maybe the turkey wasn't 1oo% thawed, maybe my kitchen sheers need sharpening, or maybe it's just plain harder than it looks in a picture.

STEP 1- remove all the innards, rinse, and pat the bird dry with paper towel. This is important because the bird WILL slide all over the place if it's damp. Our poor Blinky got her head covered in pink turkey juice as it spilled over the counter. I scrubbed her fur and got the pink out but she smelled like turkey all day.




STEP 2 - Flip the bird over on it's belly and stick your sheers up it's butt hole. Cut the spine out by cutting along both sides. I think our bird had scoliosis....








STEP 3 - Flip the bird over so it's breast side up, and break the breast bones. Essentially, set yourself up like you're going to give CPR, except you WANT to hear the bones break.




STEP 4 - Pin the wings under, baste with a mixture of olive oil and pepper, and roast for approximately 70 minutes, basting in between.




STEP 5 - Carve and enjoy.