11/18/08 10:06 - 29ºF - ID#46735

Chicken Police

File under: Who Knew?

1. Bunnies can get into fights?
2. Chickens are the peacekeepers of the animal kingdom?

Permalink: Chicken_Police.html
Words: 96
Location: Jersey City, NJ

11/13/08 03:50 - 53ºF - ID#46676

11/18/08

Next Tuesday I'm going to be at Military Island in Times Square at 10am. Only two things will get me to Times Square. Love/Smitteness and free. This time I'm going for the free.

Uniqulo is setting up a human vending machine to dispense free Heat Tech wear (fancy term for long underwear). If I'm going to be homeless from the recession then I'm fo sure going to need some Heat Tech. Oh and I want to partake in the insanity that is a human vending machine.

For fucks sake why can't I embed a video in any of my blogs?

Permalink: 11_18_08.html
Words: 110
Location: Jersey City, NJ

11/13/08 02:56 - 53ºF - ID#46674

Cuteoverload- fo' reals

Paul doesn't believe in any other video site other than YouTube so I can't embed this video. I assure you it is very worth your time to click on it. It's this video of an adorable (when I say adorable I mean so cute your ovaries/head might explode from the amount of cuteness) little girl telling a story about animals in French. This makes me want little bambinos.

Permalink: Cuteoverload_fo_reals.html
Words: 72
Location: Jersey City, NJ

11/13/08 02:27 - 53ºF - ID#46673

Man Eater

Last night I went out with some people from work and former co-workers. We were all just talking about dating/sex/life and one of my former coworkers mentioned that he wanted to set me up with a friend of his. A friend who he doesn't like very much, just so he could watch me eat him alive. This is the second time in month where someone implied I was "difficult" to date.

I'm pretty surprised that this is the impression men have of me. I think I'm a pretty easy going person to date and can only recall two times in the past few years where I've really gone off on someone. Number one being on Tom- which enough said it was justified. Number two being on Mr. I'm 3 hours late and I think that's ok. Possibly you could include a thrid time when I called Mr. I heart Broadway a jackass via email- but he said it first, I just agreed that he was.

There's no real point to this other than I want it on record that I am not a man eater.

Permalink: Man_Eater.html
Words: 186
Location: Jersey City, NJ

11/12/08 04:51 - 48ºF - ID#46660

What I consider to be perfection

Behold two of my favorite things on Earth:

Stolen from the redcarpet pictures from the grand re-opening of the Hello Kitty Luxe Flagship Store (try saying that all in one breath) in Times Square.

Side note: last time I went to the Hello Kitty Store was with the dude :( Sigh..

Permalink: What_I_consider_to_be_perfection.html
Words: 52
Location: Jersey City, NJ

11/12/08 04:03 - 49ºF - ID#46659

If it is the last thing I do

I will get a pass to the L'Oreal company store. I went last year and wanted to die from excitement. Basically what is is (for those not in the know) the store where L'Oreal sells all their shit (and the products of the brands they own: Maybelline, Kiehls, Shu Uemura, Lancome, Kerastase, La Roche-Posay, etc..) at a HUGE discount.

It's really hard to get into the store and there are only 2 ways to achieve this:

#1 is to know someone at L'Oreal (which was how I got in last year, but they were a friend of a friend and now the one dude doesn't like the other- long story short he canâ€™t get me in now).

#2 is to either sacrifice your hair to Matrix (after my recent hair adventures no one is getting their hands on my hair) or sign up for L'Oreal's Consumer Expressions Research Center (CERC). The catch is you can't sign up for both and it's kinda hard to actually find out about CERC.

I managed to track down the address for CERC and convinced a co-worker that she should come with me (because you know itâ€™s more fun to go on adventures in pairs). We talked our way past security into the L'Oreal bldg and went up to the third floor in the freight elevator. After walking past cages of amazing product (like every hair care, perfume product you could ever want) we found the desk to the motherland. We had to go one at a time and sit at a computer and enter our information. Afterwards they gave us a pamphlet with information about the CERC, let us know that we were one of THREE THOUSAND in their database (3,000 other people managed to find this place in Manhattan?!) and that we'd be getting an email shortly with another survey. Oh and at the end they give you a bag of goodies!!! Now the wait begins. But so help me god I will get into that Company Store if it kills me.

Yes, this is what I do with my day. Plan beauty adventures and make other people come with me.

Permalink: If_it_is_the_last_thing_I_do.html
Words: 356
Location: Jersey City, NJ

11/12/08 10:16 - 41ºF - ID#46656

Really?!

I'm sitting at my desk, actually doing work, and this dude comes up to me. The conversation goes like this:

Dude: "Jessica I was just at the ice machine and the scoop was not in there."

M(e:) "O.K. Well sometimes it gets buried under the new ice as the machine makes more. If you just reach in it has to be there."

Note: I don't EVER use ice at work. I don't like my drinks that cold. Oh and he didn't get the memo that it's WINTER and our office is freezing. Also, isnâ€™t that just common logic?

Dude: "Hmm. Please go in there and find it or see if there is a replacement. I just had to use my glass to scoop ice."

Apparently between yesterday and 6pm and today at 10am my job description was changed to "Person who finds ice scoop for lazy bastard who is too lazy to stick his effing hand in the ice machine to locate the scoop for the ice he so desperately needs for his diet coke".

Just out of curiosity I went to the ice machine and looked inside it. The scoop was barely under one layer of ice. All I did was look in the machine. Needless to say, out of spite, I will not be assisting with the ice emergency.

tinypliny writes at 08:46:33 11/12/08 - Comment #42029: @(e:hodown): That is disgustingly annoying. Take a bucket of ice and pour it down his shirt when he least expects it *and* on the day when the office heating is broken.

@(e:janelle) + (e:drew): You are a riot!

metalpeter writes at 06:57:03 11/12/08 - Comment #42024: It would have been funny to stand up and say come on little baby who can't do anything for them selves and grab his hand and and say oh do you want mommy to change you after this, as you walk him over to the ice machine, then point, oh does the little dummy not know how to do anything see it is right there and then walk away. On a side note you seem to work with a bunch of idiots.

drew writes at 02:37:46 11/12/08 - Comment #42019: you don't get compensated well enough? Unending devotion, everything I own, and the best lovin' I can muster isn't enough to make it worth rooting around in the fridge once in a while!?

janelle writes at 11:21:06 11/12/08 - Comment #42017: Oh, but that was totally ridiculous of the dude.

And my husband's comment totally makes me laugh, because I definitely don't get compensated to find things in the fridge for him that he can't find because he won't go beyond a mere glance in the refrigerator ;)

Love ya, hon, really!

janelle writes at 11:18:30 11/12/08 - Comment #42016: I work in social services which is totally female dominated and I've seen woman pull similar crap. It's totally a power trip thing. I have the power, I will use it in mean and petty ways.

hodown writes at 11:12:10 11/12/08 - Comment #42015: They do. It just blows my mind sometimes that men can still be so misogynistic in 2008. Sadly this is pretty typical in corporate america.

drew writes at 11:08:11 11/12/08 - Comment #42014: I hope they compensate you well enough to put up with that crap.

Permalink: Really_.html
Words: 228
Location: Jersey City, NJ

11/11/08 02:52 - 42ºF - ID#46647

Not to be a jerk but..

I was reading cnn.com. A totally reliable and upto the minute source for all news items that may or may not affect you and I came across this story about a 1 yr old who went missing and then was found under the floorboards of her grandparents home. Ok, happy ending. The baby is fine and everyone is glad the baby is safe (turns out the baby fell off the bed and managed to squeeze into a hole- read the article if you want the exact facts:

)

Anyway, along with the article is a PICTURE of the baby when they found it AND they released it. Whose genius idea was it to be like "Ok folks I know we're all glad to find the baby, but before we make sure she is ok let's take a picture." And then the parents ok the picture to be released to the press?!

Maybe they needed the picture for Child Protective Services- but still.

So yeah since it was posted with the article I'm posting it here: