Posts from September 2008

I never leave the office for lunch. Well, not never but, rarely.

Today a coworker and I decided to get the fuck away from our desks and escape the doom and gloom of the economy and head to Bergdorf's. Bergdorf's is a magical department store. It reminds me of what shopping was in the 50's. Not that I know what it was like, more what I imagined it would be like.

I don't go in there often, mainly because I can't afford anything in there and I feel like the sales ladies can smell the stench of poor on you like cheap perfume.

For some reason today was very different. We walked in as the door man turned the revolving door for us. Then as we entered the store we were greeted by SECRET SERVICE. I gawked, and they politely asked us to move on. My co-worker (who I refer to as my work wife because we are together 9 hours a day 5 days a week) immediately said "I can totally see the glow in your eye you want to know who it is." I replied that now that my dream of marrying an investment banker is dead, dream B is foreign dignitary. Then I realized that it was probably the wife not the actual dignitary shopping. With another dream crushed we moved on to the "Beauty Level". My co-worker bought her make-up and we then loving caressed purses that cost more than an entire years rent as the salesman espoused the virtues of "a colorful clutch that would be fun for fall events." If he only knew the only fall event I have is drinking in dive bars and random make outs with boys who don't care about colorful clutches.

We then left the store and decided to grab some lunch before heading back. As we are walking down 56th Street I stop dead in my tracks and say "Oh my god WHAT is this awesome store?" (Note: I'll include picture at a later date). Turns out it was a gallery display of Japanese items. Basically it was all Hello Kitty and Hello Kitty related things. I am not kidding when I say I almost pee'd my pants from excitement. My co-worker almost pee'd her pants from laughing at me.

Moral of the story:
Go to lunch. It can bring a bit of sunshine and Hello Kitty to your day.

Two of my dreams died.

Dream #1: Marrying an investment banker and becoming a CT housewife. Investment banking no longer exists and the days of making shitloads of cash doing murky business deals are gone. Today I'm going to watch Wall Street and mourn the fact that I will never have my own personal Gordon Gekko.

Dream #2: This dream is a tad more unrealistic, but Scarlett Johansson got married. I guess this means I'll have to give up my girl crush on her now that she is taken?

What kind of world are we living in?

In continuing with my tradition of love of celeb gossip (embarassing, but shut up you know you have a dark secret too) and gays I was very interested to find that:

Clay Aiken is gay.

I mean it shouldn't be a surprise, but I don't believe that stuff till it's confirmed by various news sorces (and by new sources I mean Page Six and Jezebel).

I created friend probation in the early 90's as a punishment for Paul who frequently was naughty (and not in the good way). So when he chose to be bad, I'd put him on friend probation. This would consist of a variety of ways that I could torture him (not talking to him the entire way back from Toronto while pouting, not cooking for him when he was hungry, making him snuggle, etc..) until he'd beg for forgiveness and I'd allow him back into my good graces.

The 90s ended and somewhere along the way Paul realized I wasn't actually the boss and he turned the tables on me. Now I'm on friend probation. Since Paul is the one person in the world who knows every dirty secret (and some of the are quite dirty) I now have to beg for his forgiveness to get back in his good graces.

Now I present to you my case as to why I shouldn't be on friend probation:



Let's end the madness. Seriously Paul, seriously..

Last night I decided to bake. I'd never made homemade banana bread before and decided to finally put the bananas in my freezer to good use.

I looked up a couple of recipes and didn't like any of them, so I took bits and pieces from each and improvised. I added bran, flax, and used whole wheat flour. Everything was organic. After 55 minutes in the oven I added honey and brown sugar.

Behold what i created:


I'm not gonna lie. I'm kinda a baking genius (only when it comes to banana bread). And yes it tastes as good as it looks. After eating a piece I packed the rest up and brought it into the office. So far I'm a pretty popular gal this morning..

Update: The bread was a smashing success!! It's all gone!

Mad Men. The writing and character development is so amazing. And visually it's stunning. It helps that it also includes my one true love Manhattan.

Also included:

sex (often in the form of tawdry affairs)

alcohol (either straight up in highball glasses or charming cocktails that my grandparents drank)

smoking (it's gross, but I kinda love it after a drink or sex). So yeah it's awesome.

That being said it also includes my newest girl crush.
She's everything I want to be:

It's not yet noon and people in my office are making happy hour plans.

Of course I agreed to go. I figure now that I'm single and in my cougar years I should be on the prowl.

I'm posting this picture because it may be the one and only time there is ever a picture that invloves a penthouse and myself together in the same place.

Me: You know [redacted] is scared her daughter will grow up to be sluts like us.

Her: Oh whatever it's 2008 people are fucking more now than back in the day. By the time she grows up people are going to be fucking WAY more.

Me: Yeah let's not let her know that.

He never fails to make me feel better. No matter what he always has a joke or funny story for me. It's kinda like a long distance hug talking to him.

Also I want him to join Facebook. If I have to be on it so does he. BFF rules dictate that whatever one person does the other person has to do too.

• Ok terrible picture, but I'm clearly thrilled to be hugging him. Either that or I was reallly stoned. Either one..