"Friend Probation" written by Hodown on estrip.org

09/23/08 05:56 - 72ºF - ID#45775

Friend Probation

I created friend probation in the early 90's as a punishment for Paul who frequently was naughty (and not in the good way). So when he chose to be bad, I'd put him on friend probation. This would consist of a variety of ways that I could torture him (not talking to him the entire way back from Toronto while pouting, not cooking for him when he was hungry, making him snuggle, etc..) until he'd beg for forgiveness and I'd allow him back into my good graces.

The 90s ended and somewhere along the way Paul realized I wasn't actually the boss and he turned the tables on me. Now I'm on friend probation. Since Paul is the one person in the world who knows every dirty secret (and some of the are quite dirty) I now have to beg for his forgiveness to get back in his good graces.

Now I present to you my case as to why I shouldn't be on friend probation:

Missing Image ;(

Let's end the madness. Seriously Paul, seriously..

Permalink: Friend_Probation.html
Words: 181
Location: Jersey City, NJ

09/23/08 09:32 - 53ºF - ID#45768

Banana Bread

Last night I decided to bake. I'd never made homemade banana bread before and decided to finally put the bananas in my freezer to good use.

I looked up a couple of recipes and didn't like any of them, so I took bits and pieces from each and improvised. I added bran, flax, and used whole wheat flour. Everything was organic. After 55 minutes in the oven I added honey and brown sugar.

Behold what i created:

I'm not gonna lie. I'm kinda a baking genius (only when it comes to banana bread). And yes it tastes as good as it looks. After eating a piece I packed the rest up and brought it into the office. So far I'm a pretty popular gal this morning..

Update: The bread was a smashing success!! It's all gone!

Permalink: Banana_Bread.html
Words: 139
Location: Jersey City, NJ

09/22/08 01:21 - 64ºF - ID#45757

My new obsession

Mad Men. The writing and character development is so amazing. And visually it's stunning. It helps that it also includes my one true love Manhattan.

Also included:

sex (often in the form of tawdry affairs)

alcohol (either straight up in highball glasses or charming cocktails that my grandparents drank)

smoking (it's gross, but I kinda love it after a drink or sex). So yeah it's awesome.

That being said it also includes my newest girl crush.
She's everything I want to be:

tinypliny writes at 08:30:02 09/22/08 - Comment #39136: She looks like my friend at Roswell. A lot. Too much, in fact.

heidi writes at 06:41:19 09/22/08 - Comment #39132: Oh, I forgot to add that the show is actually good. Great character development as well as excellent design.

heidi writes at 06:39:58 09/22/08 - Comment #39131: Yeah, she's gorgeous. Is it possible to have a real life bra like that??

hodown writes at 05:12:45 09/22/08 - Comment #39127: See not even you Mr. Jason can resist the lure of hot Joan (her name on the show).

It's on AMC (who knew?)but you can get season 1 through netflix and season 2 through itunes. Not sure about HD. I'm kinda a luddite when it comes to TVs.

Re: Scientology. I don't want to even know. It'll make me sad. My guess is either The lead male (Don Hamm or something) or his wife January/Betty..

jason writes at 05:08:15 09/22/08 - Comment #39125: Hmm. You know what, I'm warming up to Miss Redhead here. She is a pretty girl. She isn't a scientologist, but another cast member is! I'm not telling which one.

Oh, and what channel is the show on? Is it on in HD?

hodown writes at 04:54:41 09/22/08 - Comment #39123: I totally understand not her not being your type- but I'm still totally in love with her.

However the seediness- YES!

I agree re: things being the same. I mean to a certain extend the sexism was more blantent then. It's more understated now- but it's still there. And for the record I'm all for it if it helps me get ahead aka sleeping my way to the top..

jason writes at 04:15:13 09/22/08 - Comment #39121: Hmm, interesting show. I really couldn't care less about the design aspect of it, or for the design aspect of much of anything else really. I also don't particularly care for this redhead you've posted for us, just not my type. She's probably a Scientologist anyway.

However, the dirty seediness of it sounds exciting. Booze, cigarettes and affairs? Count me in! I wish these meddling government pussies would let me smoke at the desk and mind their own beeswax. A guy's got to relieve some stress!

Interesting how the series creator apparently wrote about the "difference" between that time and now. Depending on who you ask, America is 110% the same. One similarity I do notice, a guy can easily get away with being a womanizer if he's got the right bank account and connections.

matthew writes at 03:24:07 09/22/08 - Comment #39120: I've never seen the show before, but I did see her last night on the Emmys in an amazing emerald dress and thought "who IS that?".

matthew writes at 03:21:51 09/22/08 - Comment #39119: she is so pretty.

james writes at 02:47:38 09/22/08 - Comment #39118: Me too.

jim writes at 02:21:44 09/22/08 - Comment #39117: I keep meaning to check this out, I hear nothing but good things.

Permalink: My_new_obsession.html
Words: 86
Location: Jersey City, NJ

09/19/08 11:58 - 61ºF - ID#45729

Maybe it's time for AA?

It's not yet noon and people in my office are making happy hour plans.

Of course I agreed to go. I figure now that I'm single and in my cougar years I should be on the prowl.

Permalink: Maybe_it_s_time_for_AA_.html
Words: 37
Location: Jersey City, NJ

09/18/08 12:05 - 63ºF - ID#45724

Penthouse

I'm posting this picture because it may be the one and only time there is ever a picture that invloves a penthouse and myself together in the same place.

Permalink: Penthouse.html
Words: 31
Location: Jersey City, NJ

09/17/08 11:22 - 65ºF - ID#45713

Conversation on the way to the train

Me: You know [redacted] is scared her daughter will grow up to be sluts like us.

Her: Oh whatever it's 2008 people are fucking more now than back in the day. By the time she grows up people are going to be fucking WAY more.

Me: Yeah let's not let her know that.

Permalink: Conversation_on_the_way_to_the_train.html
Words: 52
Location: Jersey City, NJ

09/17/08 05:52 - 70ºF - ID#45710

Paul

He never fails to make me feel better. No matter what he always has a joke or funny story for me. It's kinda like a long distance hug talking to him.

Also I want him to join Facebook. If I have to be on it so does he. BFF rules dictate that whatever one person does the other person has to do too.

Ok terrible picture, but I'm clearly thrilled to be hugging him. Either that or I was reallly stoned. Either one..

Permalink: Paul.html
Words: 85
Location: Jersey City, NJ

09/15/08 08:27 - 59ºF - ID#45692

Reasons why I continue to hate humanity

1. When I have my ipod on I can't hear you. Also I don't want to hear you. Don't talk to me. There's a reason I have my music on and it's so I don't have to speak to you.

2. Little passive aggressive notes.

    Note A from the couple upstairs: Please clean lint trap throughly and dispose of all litter in the rubbish can. I have so many problems with this note. #1 Rubbish? Are you english? No you're not so call it a garbage can like the rest of America. #2 Since there are only 2 people who use the dryer clearly this note is aimed at me. Why not just mention it when we say "Hi" on the street? If there is in the trap they clean it out and place it in my box if dryer sheets. That makes me just put it back on the dryer. Don't be douchy like that.

    Note B is from my landlord and placed on the front door: If you receive any unwanted mail please be kind and place in recycle bin. Again I believe this note is aimed at me. What happens is since we don't have mail boxes they pile the mail by apartment. For some reason all the mail addressed to randoms and every take out menu is placed in my pile. I just take my mail and leave the rest behind. Sorry but if you're the landlord then you're dealing with the left over mail, not me.

I seriously deal so much better if people just come out and tell me if they have an issue. If you feel like notes are the way to deal, then I ignore them.

3. Bitches with huge effing bags that they don't pull close to them on rush hour trains. Oh I'm sorry I didn't realize your bag needed to dig into my back the entire train ride.

4. People who get to the front of the line an don't have their money ready. Come on, it's not a surprise you're about to make a purchase.

    To expound upon this at my bodega people never put their baskets back.     They leave them on the counter so the cashier has to step out from behind     the counter, return the basket, get back behind the count and then ring up     the next purchase. The basket pile is RIGHT NEXT to the counter. How hard     is it?

Ok that concludes my angry New Yorker Rant for the day..

Permalink: Reasons_why_I_continue_to_hate_humanity.html
Words: 409
Location: Jersey City, NJ

09/15/08 12:41 - 62ºF - ID#45687

Yeah I'm saying it

Remember Mr. Eau du Fromage? The dude who sent me cheese from France? Well we have a very flirty rapport. And I kinda heart him and his bald head.

Anyways, last time we spoke I told him I was bitter and sad. He was like "Great working with you is going to be a lot of fun in the next few weeks cause you were already kinda a bitch." We had a good laugh and joked about how [title of show] was a relationship killer (side note: he knows another girl who went to see this with her bf and they broke up the next day).

Fast forward to today which is the first time I've seen him in a few weeks.

His first words were "Don't yell at me because I didn't say hi, you were on the phone."

I then said "Your tie looks like it came from salvation army circa 1973."

He replies "Someone has a case of the Monday's."

Oh offices. You crack me up so much.

Permalink: Yeah_I_m_saying_it.html
Words: 170
Location: Jersey City, NJ

09/14/08 09:18 - 84ºF - ID#45683

90210

Who would have ever thought that I'd find wisdom in a trashy TV show (ok I totally could see finding wisdom, me and Mike could. But for the general public I'm sure they don't look to 90210 for sage advice).

I quote:

"The best way to get over a break up is a hook up."

So maybe it's time to slut it up a bit? If 90210 says it, it must be right..

Permalink: 90210.html
Words: 71
Location: Jersey City, NJ

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