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Category: ho family stories

11/07/05 11:10 - 46ºF - ID#22723

Damn

Last night I was thinking of this really funny story about lilho, and now it has completely slipped my mind.

In that case I'll substitute it with an equally funny story, and since the holidays are right around the corner I'll make it Holiday themed:

Every year in Buffalo my mom got kinda holiday obsessed, not over the top decoration obsessed, but for my mom it was intense. In any case one day my sister pops over to my apt. to pick me up for the mandatory holiday decorating. Anyone who knows my mom (nick named the dragon lady by some of my high school friends) knows she don't play. Well me and Sarah were assigned garland duty. Me being me, went and had a bit o ganja before to really put me in the holiday spirit. So there me and Sarah are out on the porch and I decide that garland is also good to use like a boa when you are pretending to be a movie star singing songs. During my performance my hair got entangled in the garland/boa and my hair got stuck as well. Out walks my mom in the middle of my performance (and I use that term very loosely).My sister had this look of fear like we were so busted. Thank god I've always been a slightly off child. She just shook her head like "oh that jessica, such a crazy kid".

On another note its taking me forever to clean my apartment, and I have not gotten any booty in weeks, ok thats a lie. I'll restate: I havent gotten any good booty in weeks.
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Permalink: Damn.html
Words: 274
Location: Jersey City, NJ


Category: cleaning

10/23/05 01:21 - 43ºF - ID#22722

What is wrong with me

I am avoiding cleaning my apartment at all costs.I hate cleaning. Once when i was little i hid under my bed in order to avoid cleaning my room. My mom thought I ran away (i did this a lot too) so she called the police and my dad. It was dramatic. So now to avoid cleaning I smoke up, and started watching this show about napalm and vietnam, its awful. How can this be better than cleaning my apartment because its so dirty right now. I have a headache...
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Permalink: What_is_wrong_with_me.html
Words: 89
Location: Jersey City, NJ


Category: potpourri

10/19/05 01:26 - ID#22720

For all you fuckers

who constantly wonder why I am broke even though I make a great salary by Buffalo standards please read:



I had so much fun in Buffalo. I am really glad I went home for the weekend. Can everyone just move to NYC so we can have fun here?

In response to Paul's comment about my trying to bite off his mangle nail like a rabid dog. I see it more as an (E:strip) community service. No one wants that thing around.

Death Cab for Cutie tonight. I am excited. I am sure cute boys will be all over there.

On another note go to www.wearescientists.com This band is playing B'lo soon. The drummer is a former banker- how can you go wrong with a band like that? Seriously they are really good and I insist that you support my friends.
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Permalink: For_all_you_fuckers.html
Words: 158
Location: Jersey City, NJ


Category: guest apperances

10/14/05 09:43 - ID#22719

Special Guest Appearance

Everyone better put on their Sunday best because I am making a special guest apperance at lilho's bday bash.
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Permalink: Special_Guest_Appearance.html
Words: 19
Location: Jersey City, NJ


Category: weather

10/13/05 03:59 - ID#22718

I'd like it to rain some more please

I love getting to work and being soggy. Even more than that I love going out, an activity that should include me looking sexy, and being drenched and having water soaked pants. Please god pour some more rain on nyc.

On a brighter note I think my luck maybe changing (knock on wood).


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Permalink: I_d_like_it_to_rain_some_more_please.html
Words: 53
Location: Jersey City, NJ


10/11/05 10:18 - ID#22717

So far so good

In order to end my string of bad karma/luck/wrath of the gods yesterday I bought some apples and scurried home. I went inside, locked the door, spent some special time with maria, watched tv and went to bed. This morning I awoke with baited breath to see if something was going to fall on me.

Well now I am at work, my dry cleaning dropped off, sitting at my desk. So far so good.

Apparently Jamies sausages are a hit. I guess you really can't go wrong combining soul with sausage.
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Permalink: So_far_so_good.html
Words: 93
Location: Jersey City, NJ


10/11/05 10:13 - ID#22716

Gotta have Soul and Sausage combined

Well my friend Jamie- and I use the term friend loosely has this little side business its Soul Sausage. It's sausage sold out of his home in Park Slope. If you live in the 5 boroughs you get free delivery if you order $30 worth of sausage, welle xcept for Staten island- as Jamie says "fuck Staten island".

Check it out here:

Also (e:lilho) used to have calligraphy as a hobby. Thats funny. It was lovely as shesays.
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Permalink: Gotta_have_Soul_and_Sausage_combined.html
Words: 81
Location: Jersey City, NJ


10/11/05 10:03 - ID#22715

the worst 4 days ever

For various reasons the past 4 days have been the worst days I can recall in recent history. Ugh people really bother me. Since I have ruled out the possiblity of having cool friends I am going to restart my long forgotten fitness program. I am also adding apartment decorating to my routine.

God I can't wait until Sarah comes to visit.
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Permalink: the_worst_4_days_ever.html
Words: 61
Location: Jersey City, NJ


Category: america fuck yeah

10/07/05 01:15 - 54ºF - ID#22714

My Hairdresser is in Immigration Jail

So I just got the worst phone call ever. My hair dresser Kat from Hungry (yes I am going to spell that wrong forever just to spite people) is in some sort of deportation jail. What the fuck. Now GW has fucked with my hair, my most single valued personal asset. Before I thought he was a bafoon and basic idiot. Now he falls into the piece of shit human being category. She said immigration officials treated her horribly (well June told me that who spoke directly w her). I wish I could help her out somehow.

Sigh- my user pic is the only remaining vestige of how great my hair once was. Will I ever achieve hair perfection w/o going to Sally Herschberger?

What a sad sad day...
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Permalink: My_Hairdresser_is_in_Immigration_Jail.html
Words: 130
Location: Jersey City, NJ


Category: diddy

08/18/05 02:43 - 80ºF - ID#22712

Puffy what have you done?

"We had to move the P. We had to simplify it. Diddy is more personal. We are entering into the age of Diddy. It's a new era."

Diddy -- whose monikers have included Puff, Puff Daddy and Puffy, says Diddy is "a little bit more personal. I've let down my guard. I'm fully exposed. We are going to have a lot of fun with it. It is the return of hip-hop, rock 'n' roll superstars and they call them Diddy. I'm going to start talking in the third person everything."

I'm not sure that the above paragraph even makes sense. I loved Puffy back in the day, but now I'm just worried about him.

Remind me again when was he rock 'n' roll?

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Permalink: Puffy_what_have_you_done_.html
Words: 123
Location: Jersey City, NJ


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