Category: humor

04/08/08 03:33 - 64ºF - ID#43953

Holy Crap

In response to "stuff white people like" I give you:

Below is a small excerpt:

Seriously, have you ever been to a reeally broke ass country? Do you see people jogging? Probably not, but let's say on the off-chance that you do. Do you think they paid money to have the right to run? If you see someone running in a third-world country...you better run with them, because that means some shit is going down. That's probably why Kenyans are so good at marathons - they only have one speed when they're running: Stay Alive. Let's put it this way, there is no fucking Nicaraguan Marathon every year. And if there is, it's because some douche from Seattle or somewhere started one for him and all his friends to go to.

Also: Facebook is still blowing my mind. Where do I even begin? How come no one forced me to join back in 1999?

Permalink: Holy_Crap.html
Words: 158
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: social networks

04/07/08 05:41 - 64ºF - ID#43938

Facebook

I just joined facebook and it's blowing my mind!

disclaimer just because I have caved to facebook does not mean in any way shape or form that i will cave to myspace.

Permalink: Facebook.html
Words: 32
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: life

04/06/08 05:14 - 62ºF - ID#43925

Blogging

A few weeks back I got a shiny new black mac book. I was sure this was somehow going to change my life. Yeah that didn't happen. I've discovered that everyone locks their wi-fi networks, meaning I never use my laptop. Today I got the sudden urge to break my baby out and actually blog. Due to the lack of wi-fi I was forced to go the the local bar. So here I sit:

Permalink: Blogging.html
Words: 76
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: apple

03/14/08 05:42 - 44ºF - ID#43670

Black MacBook

I bought a new Black MacBook yesterday. I had Apple transfer over the data from my old laptop to my new baby. I just got it back this afternoon. I can not wait to get it home and fondle it.

Permalink: Black_MacBook.html
Words: 40
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: work

03/03/08 05:30 - 60ºF - ID#43542

Adventures in working with Douchy People

Just now I got an urgent call. One of the ~~gentlemen~~ asshats I work with could not find his driver. Mr. Asshat's flight was 45 minutes late, thus the driver was forced to relocate to another spot at the airport where he could idle. Now I'm no world traveler, but I assumed the driver was idling in a lot when I got this most urgent call. Mr. Asshat was furious that his driver was not in baggage claim waiting to take his bags from him and escort him to the car. I calmly suggested he call the car service and ask to be connected to the driver and the driver could then locate Mr. Asshat and all would be right with the world. This logical solution was not acceptable. So I called the driver, got his location- 2nd island near departures- and passed the information along. I was then informed that "the airport is not a beach and I needed to get landmarks and exact locations" and then I was hung up on. Well fuck you Mr. Asshat. That will be the first, last and only time I ever so much as lift a finger beyond my exact job description to help you.

Permalink: Adventures_in_working_with_Douchy_People.html
Words: 202
Location: Jersey City, NJ

02/27/08 01:16 - 12ºF - ID#43481

Espresso

Remember like 5 days ago when I was all hearts over the espresso machine in my office. Well I should have thought back to 1996 when I had (and I quote) "the stomach of a 50 yr old man who had drank and smoked his whole life" from too much coffee.

I started drinking like 5 espresso shots a day and boy was that a bad idea. It was free and I was mesmorized by the shiny new toy in our office kitchen.

Lesson to be taken away from this:
Just because it's all you can drink espresso, it doesn't mean you literally have to drink all you can.

Permalink: Espresso.html
Words: 105
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: fashion

02/27/08 01:09 - 12ºF - ID#43480

Zubaz are back

Remember those ~~awesome~~ horrific pants from the early 90's? Well they are back. Just in case you missed them or your red/white/blue Bills tribute Zuba's are so worn out from wear you need new ones.

Permalink: Zubaz_are_back.html
Words: 41
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: update

02/20/08 03:17 - 19ºF - ID#43405

Jessica update

So a few things:

1. We got a new Lavazza Espresso machine in out office. I'm currently on espresso number 5. 3 first thing in the morning and 2 right now. I'm guessing probably not the best idea for my ulcer prone stomach, but I'm throwing caution to the wind. I'm also really hyper.

2. I'm doing really well on my new health kick. Seeing people in my family with health problems as they age really makes me re-think my lifestyle.

3. I can not watch Almost Famous or Shop Girl. Both of these movies make me sad and think about Tom. All I can think about is the line when Kate Hudson says "Why doesn't he love me?". It's been almost 1.5 yrs since I last saw Tom and it still makes me sad.

4. My family now exchanges Valentine's Day gifts. My sister sent me a dozen roses and my mom sent me money for gym clothes. I didn't get them anything because I wasn't aware that this was a family gift holiday.

5. Has anyone seen the Gene Simmons sex tape? It's gross, but if you're interested it can be found on fleshbot.com. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Permalink: Jessica_update.html
Words: 194
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: r. kelly

02/14/08 12:03 - 24ºF - ID#43325

For Terry, R.Kelly's biggest Fan

Here's the link the the Graphic:

Hopefully this helps solve your question regarding the midget/pastor connection. Let me know what you come up with. Inquiring minds..

Permalink: For_Terry_R_Kelly_s_biggest_Fan.html
Words: 35
Location: Jersey City, NJ

02/13/08 04:40 - 24ºF - ID#43315

For fans of R.Kelly

If you've ever seen R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet" and hoped for a diagram of all the relationships today is your lucky day. Andrew Kuo has mapped out all of R. Kellyâ€™s characters from his â€œTrapped in the Closet".

Enjoy: