02/14/08 12:03 - 24ºF - ID#43325

For Terry, R.Kelly's biggest Fan

Here's the link the the Graphic:

Hopefully this helps solve your question regarding the midget/pastor connection. Let me know what you come up with. Inquiring minds..

Permalink: For_Terry_R_Kelly_s_biggest_Fan.html
Words: 35
Location: Jersey City, NJ

02/13/08 04:40 - 24ºF - ID#43315

For fans of R.Kelly

If you've ever seen R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet" and hoped for a diagram of all the relationships today is your lucky day. Andrew Kuo has mapped out all of R. Kellyâ€™s characters from his â€œTrapped in the Closet".

Enjoy:

PS I totally stole this from the NYT. Odd I know.

Permalink: For_fans_of_R_Kelly.html
Words: 55
Location: Jersey City, NJ

02/13/08 12:23 - 22ºF - ID#43311

effing dudes

Issue #1 with dudes:
So last night it snowed for the first time all winter. It was actually kinda nice. Since it was a wet heavy snow I knew (from my many Buffalo winters dealing with various types of snow) that if I didn't shovel it as it came down it would freeze and be a huge pain to shovel later on. So after work I run some errands, thinking that surely my landlord would shovel by the time I got home at 8pm. Nope. Keep in mind:

1. My landlord is a guy
2. He owns a shovel
3. I rent
4. It's in my lease that he is responsible for ALL snow removal
5. I live/share a sidewalk with TWO guys.

Figuring if I only have to shovel once a year I'd suck it up and do it. I go to shovel and both of my male neighbors watch me out their windows. My landlord lets me borrow his shovel w/o so much as a "thanks for doing the job I'm suppossed to be doing". He actually walks by me with his dogs as I'm shoveling the walk way he uses and doesn't say a thing.

Issue #2 with dudes:
Today some guy looses his phone in a car. Somehow I get pulled into finding it. He tells me the car company is "coach". So I track down the car company "Boston Coach". I find someone to help me and track down the driver with phone. The driver wants to know when to drop off the phone. I interrupt the meeting to give a phone update, as I was asked to do. The guy who lost the phone actually wants me to go wait outside in the pouring rain for an unspecified amount of time for the driver who could be anywhere in Manhattan for this phone. Are you kidding me?!

Moral of my rant: I'm so effing sick of doing shit for dudes who should be doing these things for themselves.

Permalink: effing_dudes.html
Words: 329
Location: Jersey City, NJ

02/12/08 11:55 - 18ºF - ID#43294

Michael Brown Part II

Ok it gets even better. I did a little bit o research on him and I can not believe the job he now has. Ok, let's just all remember that he basically was responsible for the largest fuck up of disaster recovery in the history of America. So with that on his resume this company decided to hire him and put him in charge of (prepare yourself) MORE DISASTER RECOVERY. Holy shit. Really? Read below (prepare to sit in amazement):

Cotton was acquired by Charys in December 2006. Cotton is a group of disaster recovery firms specializing in fire and water restoration services ranging from initial project assessment and planning, through catastrophe management reconstruction, restoration and environmental remediation. The corporate headquarters are located in Houston, TX.

Wow, just wow.

Permalink: Michael_Brown_Part_II.html
Words: 128
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: celebs

02/07/08 05:23 - 24ºF - ID#43234

Celebrity Interaction

Ok so I was going to label this post celebrity sighting, but it's more of a celebrity interaction situation. And by celebrity I mean dude who basically f'd everyone after Hurrican Katrina. Michael Brown is in our office. I had no idea it was actually him until I was in our copy room and someone was like "ooo Michael Brown is flirting with you girls".

So yeah that about the most exciting thing thats happened to me this week.

Permalink: Celebrity_Interaction.html
Words: 79
Location: Jersey City, NJ

02/04/08 12:26 - 38ºF - ID#43172

Mario Lopez- Again

Mario just can't get the dance out of his pants. See below:

Permalink: Mario_Lopez_Again.html
Words: 14
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: stars

01/28/08 02:10 - 33ºF - ID#43064

Mario Lopez is famous again

Because Mario Lopez can do this:

extra points for the leg kick while doing the snake

extra points for anyone who breaks out this dance at any function I attend on the next year.

He is qualified to be a host for this:

Permalink: Mario_Lopez_is_famous_again.html
Words: 54
Location: Jersey City, NJ

01/14/08 05:53 - 32ºF - ID#42881

To get a job at ATT you must be a moron

Copy of my recent im conversation with a ATT customer service agent:

Richard: Welcome to AT&T online Sales support. How may I assist you with placing your order today?
Jessica: hi, I have a question about purchasing a phone. Currently I am an ATT customer
Jessica: Ive found that the phones online are much less expensive than in stores
Richard: Great! I'd be happy to help you.
Jessica: however when I go to purchase a phone online im required to pick a plan with the purchase
Jessica: is there a way to only purchase the phone?
Richard: Yes, this is the case. Do you have a wireless phone with us now?
Jessica: I do
Richard: And you just need a replacement phone?
Jessica: thats correct
Richard: Unfortunately, customers are not able to do an upgrade online. You will want to visit one of our local stores to get a new phone for your service.
Jessica: thats what I was trying to avoid
Jessica: but thank you
Richard: Sure, sorry.

Things I find wrong with this conversation:
I stated I'm already a customer, when he asks if I am.
I state that I'm not looking to go to the ATT store.
He gives me the complete opposite answer of the person I just spoke with on the phone at ATT.
Oh an they've also informed me that I have exactly one day on which I can downgrade my plan (if you know me you know I avoid the phone ike the plague). Also the woman on the phone told me to just buy the phone and then pick a new plan, but somehow it won't be billed if I don't activitate it. That sound so shady. This is exactly why I buy a craptastic phone and use it until I get messages like"no sim card found" "invalid battery" or my phone just shuts off randomly.

In conclusion I hate ATT and I hate phones.

Permalink: To_get_a_job_at_ATT_you_must_be_a_moron.html
Words: 326
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: youtube

01/11/08 03:54 - 39ºF - ID#42841

If you don't find this funny

please let me know ASAP so I can discontinue our friendship.

Thanks,
Jessica

Permalink: If_you_don_t_find_this_funny.html
Words: 26
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: presents

01/02/08 10:58 - 15ºF - ID#42722

Im a jerk

I got back to work today to find a few gifts from co-workers at my desk. Now I know you're not suppossed to look a gift horse in the mouth or something but..

I got this as a gift:

It's so not me. I've never been one to carry engraved keychains with pictures of loved ones. There's space for 6 pictures. I have 2 problems with that feature:

1. There aren't 6 people in the world I like enough to carry around pictures of.

2. How do you get pictuers that tiny to fit into it?

So yeah I'm a jerk, but I hate this key chain.