"I have no will power" written by Hodown on estrip.org

07/07/06 11:03 - 71ºF - ID#22794

I have no will power

My office make out partner was in the office yesterday. I had decided that our shenanigans were going to end. However that plan didn't seem to work out quite like I envisioned it. It went something like this:

office boy: so im still slutty and i don't want you to think im a jerk because im not.

moi: blah you're only 10% jerk and 90% irresistible.

office boy: ok so lets meet in the supply room and cop a feel. Ok?

moi: awesome, i'll meet you in there.

us in supply room groping at each other like a bad spanish soap opera.

ugh. but secretly i love it, i can't help it.

Permalink: I_have_no_will_power.html
Words: 110
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: putin

07/06/06 04:35 - 71ºF - ID#22793

This is so odd

Putin kissed boy 'like a kitten'

MOSCOW, Russia (Reuters) -- Vladimir Putin's decision to stop a small boy as he walked through the Kremlin and kiss his stomach was prompted by a desire to "touch him like a kitten," the Russian president said on Thursday.

The five-year-old boy, identified as Nikita Konkin by the press, was clearly stunned by the kiss and speculation over Putin's motivation has run wild in the week since it happened.

Curious Internet users propelled the issue to the top of a list of questions put to Putin in an interactive Web cast.

"People came up and I began talking to them, among them this little boy. He seemed to me very independent, sure of himself and at the same time defenseless so to speak, an innocent boy and a very nice little boy," Putin told the Web cast.

"I tell you honestly, I just wanted to touch him like a kitten and that desire of mine ended in that act."

The Izvestia daily, which tracked down Nikita, discovered that he had refused to wash after that kiss.

"I just liked him and he liked me very much. I want to be president myself," the five-year-old told the paper.

Putin was shown by state television chatting to graduates of military academies before he took a walk through one of the Kremlin's courtyards, often full of tourists.

He stopped and spoke to Nikita who turned away shyly. "What is your name?" Putin asked, kneeling down in front of the fair-haired boy and holding him by the waist.

"Nikita," the clearly shocked boy answered, looking from side to side.

Putin then lifted the boy's shirt and kissed him on his stomach. The Russian president then patted the boy on the head and walked off through a crowd of astonished tourists.

I don't know about you but this smells weirdly of child molester to me. I'm getting the shivers just thinking about it.

Permalink: This_is_so_odd.html
Words: 328
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: overheard

07/03/06 10:39 - 73ºF - ID#22792

Funniest sentence of the day

Yeah, for a scientist, I have a strange level of comfort with magic.

Statement made by co worker who is not a scientist.

Permalink: Funniest_sentence_of_the_day.html
Words: 23
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: american idol

06/30/06 04:08 - 68ºF - ID#22791

I'm obsessed with Taylor Hicks

And by obsessed I mean I'm obsessed with how he is now a sex symbol. As I typed that I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Please note the news photo of him followed by a news story about how his grade school crush just got back in contact with him. I bet she did after she swooned over his latest Ford Trucks commercial.

Taylor- Why? Why?

I'm also obsessed with posting. This is my 3rd post today.

Permalink: I_m_obsessed_with_Taylor_Hicks.html
Words: 82
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: work

06/30/06 01:11 - 74ºF - ID#22789

Worky work work work work work work

Today is annoying.

First off:
Recently it came to my attention that I should in fact be paid over time. And I should be paid retroactive over time. According to HR I would be recieving this monster repayment of my blood sweat and tears in today's paycheck. So when I checked I was shocked to see only payment for 11.6 hours. What I've worked in recent weeks. Apparently my email was not clear and they only went back a few weeks. WTF? I had to go back to my start date in 2004 and detail every hour worked. This meant going over time in 3 different systems (including one which was just my writing my time down on paper). I was really hoping that I'd get that cash today. Now I wait two more weeks. Damn

Secondly:
We closed out office on Monday. At first you're thinking "wait a minute Jessica, that's not annoying". Well wait there is a caveat. Our office is closed except I have to be here- just in case. Awesome. And just in case I get out early:

Hey, Jess. I know you'll be working but you might be able to get out early enough to come by for another bbq at home. Sorry for the last minute notice but Russ and I just decided to do this. So, if you've got no other plans then I hope you can hang with us. I just talked to Randa and I gave her a voucher so maybe you two can hitch a ride together again.
Maria

So it's either work or a repeat of this weekend:

I choose work.

On a happier note. Do you watch "Run's House" on MTV? No? Dude you are so missing out. First of all anything old school hiphop rocks. Run is like the godfather of old school hiphop. Or maybe he is just to me. So on last night's show his young son is recording an album. So the mom walks in to see how the kids are doing and busts out with a rhyme on the spot. They threw her in the booth to rock out a verse on the song and oh my god. A mom who can rhyme on que? Sign me up for adoption.

Permalink: Worky_work_work_work_work_work_work.html
Words: 383
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: animals

06/29/06 11:17 - 68ºF - ID#22788

Human Kindness

For those of you who know me, I'm not exactly a champion of animal kindness across the globe. I like animals and I don't wish them any harm, and I'm all for animal rights (I was even vegan/vegetarian for a number of years). I just don't get into the whole mush of I heart animals. However recently I've come across a story that warms the heart. I encourage you to read the story of a boy who cared enough to rescue a kitten when everyone else just ignored this animal's suffering. The story can be found on this blog:

Also, its the best friend of my office hook up boy. Not that that fact taints my objectivity or anything. Just go read it and donate whatever you can :)

Permalink: Human_Kindness.html
Words: 133
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: bush

06/21/06 10:36 - 67ºF - ID#22786

Funny big bear hug

So this picture was taken of Bush yesterday. His spokespeople released this statement:

"The president thought the big bear hug was funny," said Dana M. Perino, a White House spokeswoman. "He appreciates the terrific enthusiasm of our nation's graduates, and he was honored to be the first president to address the Merchant Marine Academy. It was quite a thrill for everyone."

I don't know about you but the look on his face doesn't say to me "This is funny".

Permalink: Funny_big_bear_hug.html
Words: 81
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: fashion

06/20/06 05:29 - 72ºF - ID#22785

Skorts

Conversation heard at work:

Girl #1: I really like skorts. You know it's for when you want to wear a skirt, but maybe are going to do something sporty.

Girl #2: Yeah, I love skorts too. You really don't see a lot of them around anymore, but they are cute.

Oh where to start. Is it really that hard to commit to either a skirt or shorts? You need to have a combo of the two. Skirt on the front, short in the back. It's like the mullet of clothes. And you really don't see a lot of them in stores for adults. I think there is a reason for this. They are god awful and no one in their right mind has worn them since 1993.

Permalink: Skorts.html
Words: 126
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: saved by the bell

06/19/06 03:46 - 75ºF - ID#22784

Dustin Diamond

Mike this one's for you:

We all remember running home from school so we could tune into the the gang from Saved by the Bell's latest shenanigans.

If you didn't watch this show clearly you missed out on the best of what the 90's had to offer in after school programming.

In any case Screetch gave us the best years of his life and now he needs our help in return. Dustin's house in Wisconsin (his credit wasn't good enough to buy a house in CA) is being foreclosed (is that how you say it?).

You can help! Here's how:

Permalink: Dustin_Diamond.html
Words: 104
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: aol

06/14/06 04:24 - 74ºF - ID#22781

This will make you laugh

So I admit I totally ripped this off from someone elses blog, but it is so funny it'll make you laugh. Anyone who has ever had AOL will be able to relate. So here is the set up:

I had an AOL account years ago. I kept it around because many of the suits in my office use AOL. When the boss needs AOL fixed, you'd better have an account to get it running. That's fine with me. It made troubleshooting much easier. Even though my father and mother both had accounts under mine, their computer didn't even have the software installed. No one in my family was using it, and at most I was using it once a month.

Recently, I decided that I could spend $14.95 a month in many better ways, and decided to cancel the AOL account. Knowing the horror stories, I decided to do the deed at work where I could record the whole thing. I knew it was going to be good, but I had no idea it would be the abusive disaster it was.

Click here to check it out.

The highlight for me? Him asking for my father when the account is mine, the name on the account is mine, and the card paying the bill is in my name.

And here is the audio (thanks to www.droppedin.com):

Listen and enjoy...

terry writes at 10:51:10 06/14/06 - Comment #8966: hah! My only telemarketer job was working for AOL. I would call people up like a day after they had cancelled and try to tell them to sign back up, please please please. Offer them some free months, etc... I would even leave messages and ask to talk to the bill-payer. It was pure hell. I've never heard such shit as what people would yell at me. Needless to say that lasted about a month and I couldn't take it anymore. Telemarketers are evil! Especially AOL-keters.

jenks writes at 09:22:22 06/14/06 - Comment #8954: i still have my aol account... Or rather, my screen name on my dad's account. it was my first email account ever. My first screen name was "alex f 17" because all anyone would ask in the chat rooms was "sex/age" all the time. Now I realize how creepy that is. Maybe it's time to let it go... I don't EVER log on.

theecarey writes at 07:40:00 06/14/06 - Comment #8948: yeh, AOHell, Americal On Hold, etc..

This is a familiar story. I wasn't given an attitude but I was provided a time stamp for my account activity. "Although you have unlimited usage, we see that you have used X amount of minutes during this time..".

Just cancel my account.

"We are ready to offer you 3 months free.."

JUst cancel my account.

hahaha. Yeh, its been a few years, but AOL still comes back to taunt me. I find it still tangled within my computer, its threads latched onto other programs, unable to get rid of it.

Thanks for sharing--it gave me a chuckle.

libertad writes at 06:34:33 06/14/06 - Comment #8943: AOL is so evil. They are definitely on my big business shit list.

ladycroft writes at 05:36:26 06/14/06 - Comment #8935: omg it sounds just like the convo i had with aoHell years ago when i wanted to cancel. except i didn't get threatened with "if you want me to cancel your account your gonna sit there and listen to what i have to say". i'd put my fist through the phone.

zobar writes at 04:46:52 06/14/06 - Comment #8930: Wow. I only listened to about half of it and I had to stop because it was making me aggravated. What is wrong with some people.

- Z