Can I change my user name? I feel kinda jipped. I didn't even get to choose it. Paul used our friendship as a ploy to just sign me up w/o my consent. Its like friendship terrorism.

Has anyone seen that "dude" study?
It says that guys call women "dude" if they are close with her but not intimate. I have a ton of guy friends that use that term w me. Great. I am so ready to be done with the singles scene it sucks.

I don't know why I get so excited about going to these places. Every single time its never as exciting as you think its going to be. It was crowded with business type men and Midwestern tourists. Yuck! I suppose its one of those things you have to do once just for the experience. Drinks were 10-15 each ouch! Thank goodness I wasn't buying. I'm more of a Irish pub local dive kinda girl (at least that's what my pocket pook says I am- actually my pocket books says I'm more of a 40 of OE on the corner kinda girl).

Tonight I get to go to Tao. Fancy schmancy. If Ive sold my soul to the devil (as Paul claims I did) then I may as well play the fiddle on my way down.

My other alternative plan for this evening was trudging down to 34th to get a ride home from Tom and have one drink on the way. Are you fucking kidding me? He expects me to walk through this miserable weather so I can see him for 45 minutes tops? He would then consider his duties done for the week and not have to see me again for a few weeks. He is such an ass. I've started to lay down the law with him and I can tell he doesn't like it. I told him for my birthday if he wants to see me I want a suite at a nice hotel, champagne and strawberries, presents and steak for dinner. Otherwise I don't want to see him. Now this may seem extreme, keep in mind he has yet to get me anything for any holiday ever. He considers all the times he takes me out "gifts"- that would work except he charges it to his expense account at work. Nice try. I'm sorry but when you are a 34 yr old trying to date a 26 yr old you gotta bring something to the table. Ugh- why can't i just find a guy who doesn't suck?

Looks like everyone is apartment hunting this weekend! I am going to look at places too. YEA!

I haven't posted in a while. I think I am in a funk. Some of it has to do with hanging out with people who have major negative energy. I'm convinced that stuff rubs off. My funk could also be related to the fact that theree are a million new CDs I want and can't afford. Which then relates to this city and how everywhere things are such a scam. I'm sorry but I refuse to pay 16 for a freaking cd. This city has such an intense vibe. I love it and thrive off the energy of it, but on the other hand it seems to try and take everything you have to give only to leave you with nothing. Last night on the train there was this guy with a saxophone. Me and my friend Mimi were like great now we have to listen to this guy. Usually the homeless/artist does his/her thing, asks for money and moves on. Well this guy plays this awful "song" (I use that term loosely) and then goes on to tell his story of how come he is homeless. No one coughs up and change. Normally the guy would move on. But this guy then tells another story more dramatic than the last. Still no one gives him any change. THEN he tells yet another sob story about his parents when he was 47 disowned him blah blah blah (come on at age 47 you need to get a grip). It was unbelievable- its like he was going to keep making his life story worse and worse until someone gave him something and he wasn't going anywhere till someone did. Finally 4 stops later I got off the train- thank goodness. My poor friend was on that train till Brooklyn. Also my "b/f" has been non existent lately. That is unacceptable.

ON another note my birthday is in 15 days. Last year the site was all Hello Kitty to celebrate this day. Paul this year I expect no less.

I have found the whole bad boy/nice guy conversation very interesting. Honestly I think Jason got it right when he said gay guys. It seems to be the case with me. All my best guy friends are gay. Yes I even have made out with a lot of them. If I could form the perfect man he'd be a nice guy with a bit of personality and a love of mischief. Seriously no girl wants to be treated like crap, its just that the bad boys seem to always hold the promise of something adventurous- and not for nothing they do seem to be a bit better between the sheets. I wish I could be in BUff for the experiment!

(you can't get it out of your head and its so annoying)

This is the best store in the world. Ecerytime I take the train downtown its like I can not resist going in and buying something. Yesterday I bought 2 sets of hangers. Since I have done all my laundry it appears I have more clothes than hangers. Lately I have this hang up about living like an adult vs. a college kid. Part of that is not having 3 pairs of pants on the same hanger and 4 skirts hanging from the free hanger that came with the skirt. I think my newest hang up somes from the fact that I live with someone who insists on living like they are in college. Its to the point where I can't have nice stuff because his friends will either get it dirty (furinture) or his 2 pack a day smoking habit will just plain out ruin it. It is disgusting.

Hey eppeps I need some assistance. I know some of you have some NYC contacts. Im looking to move back to parkslope my ohl hood in brooklyn. If anyone knows of someone looking for a roommate let me know!

Ole Dirty Bastard died. :( Who will Mariah do her next duet with? Seriously he stayed true to the ghetto- once all the old school rappers are gone all we will be left with are rappers like chingy. I don't want to live in a world like that.

Yes I may be done with this city. I heart New York, but it is sucking everything that I like about myself out of me. I can remember the days where I was a laid back chill person. Ok maybe not laid back and chill but nicer and way less stressed out than I am now. Everyone tries to rip you off and its freaking cold. So its colder in Buffalo, but I am done with cold. Why be cooped up when you can live someplace warm.

On another note New York is really taking Bush's win hard. You can just feel it in the city. Jason I know you are a republican, and I can respect your views. But Bush is tearing this country apart and making it worse. The "moral majority" is a scary group. As a woman I feel like this can only hurt my personal freedoms. There is talk of reversing roe v wade. As a woman I can not tell you how upset this makes me. No man should be able to tell me what I can and can not do with my body. I'll survive these next 4 years, but I will be 100% more active now in the years leading up to the next election.