If you had to have a dashboard, like status lights, on your forehead, what lights would you pick?


I 'm going to call it right here: someday body piercings <; status lights < tattoos < orange juice.


I think the first light I'd want is a Bullshit Light.
The Bullshit Light would just start to glow when you catch a whiff of bullshit, like when someone tries to explain how the lottery is a good investment.
Then the Bullshit Light turns on solid when you realize that someone actually believes their bullshit.


The bullshit light starts flashing and melts into a puddle when my boss tries to explain to me why I should work on July 4th.

Fucker

did anyone see (or better yet, know) that green girl at the square yesterday?

Seriously, there was a girl that was like Kermit-the-Frog or Incredible-Hulk green.
She was kind of hanging on the backpack of the dude she was with.

I'm pretty sure she was ill, maybe under a Dr's care, and I feel bad for remarking that she must've been seasick, a la a Popeye cartoon or something.



I am such an rotten argumentative jerk when I am half hung over. (Usually I'm good with water and don't get hung over)
I am just realizing this after like years of being wierd the day after drinking.

It all makes so much sense now.

My friend Milhouse called me today and asked for help moving a futon.

I met him after work at this place only a few houses down from mine on Elmwood.

It was power muggy out, and the futon was large and up three sets of very narrow stairs.
After some genius geo-spacial reasoning and android-like precision beast strength, we got the thing down to my truck.

I told Millhouse that if he really wanted the futon he would ride on it to his place.
So he did.
PRetty much as soon as I pulled out the driveway, the futon fell off theback.

Milhouse dropped in my rear view, dropped down to the street.

I pulled over and started laughing before I even checked if he was run over by a bus.
He was intact, and only saved from the road by the delicate stitching and quality construction of the futon matress.

The futon feets got shaved down a little bit from rubbing on the road, but they needed to be leveled out anyways.


We repositioned the couch, and made it to his place without any further event.

As soon as we pulled up, PuertoRicanDude#1 inquired about the futon.
Ten seconds later, Milhouse had sold his other, shittier, stained futon to PRD1 for $20. But the dude didn't have $20, so he got it gratis.

Milhouse, Me, PRD1 and his friend PRD2 hauled the thing up to his shitty apt. I offered them all a beer and we caught our breath.

We went back down for the matress when Milhouse locked his keys in the apt.

Fuck

I quickly found an open window on the side of the building without a screen.
I put a garbage can under it, and ordered PRD1 "Levanta!" Up he went, through the open window and let us in. We completed the moves.

Now PRD1 wanted me to move his new futon to his place.

It was cool, he threw my Stooges CD in the stereo and we were jamming out.

I don't know if he was just stoned or if it was more, but it was a fun ride.

When we got there, he wanted me to back the truck up into this corner of a parking lot.
Cool, no problem
Then we wanted me to back up into this narrow alley.
The alley was pretty well hidden on all sides and I got scared pretty fast.

I moved my knife so it wasn't buried in my pocket. We moved the futon into the alley. He kept on going in and outside, talking to some other dude.

I didn't wait around long. I took off. Bad vibes.

Fun enough guy though, we should drink beer again sometime.


This was my Silver Post

If I don't die from lack of rest


Seriously though I'm tired.

I've stopped drinking caffeine (d pepsi) for the most part and I think its for the best.

Coffee, baby, you know I love you. I'll always love you.
I know we don't spend that much time together, but I think the time we have is special.
Its just that I don't want to walk around with garbage-coffee-breath.
Oh baby its not that I don't like it, its other people. They keep us apart.



I purchased a Spicy Chicken Sandwhich from a Wendy's restaraunt yesterday.
This is a good sandwich for me because I like 'Spicy' almost as much as I like 'chicken.'

My first bite into it, and I had barely chomped down when it squirted a shot of very hot oil across my face and all over my shirt.
Fucker.
I have a red mark on my face today.

Fuck that, I"m brown baggin it to work next week.
Lunch and otherwise.

so I saw my burka lady again on Monday morining (e:kookcity2000)#3 .

But it was early Monday monring, and I didn't reconize her.
I thought it was a beekeeper walking up the street



And I thought that was really cool, and my imagination started running about downtown bee colonies, and the surplus of honey that our fair city would be expecting.
Then I realized it was a lady that people covered in tarps, because they didn't want dudes to pop boners when they saw her.



Bummer


Yesterday I was driving home and I was really tired. I kept nodding off at the wheel.
At one point I woke up from a nod, only to see a copper pull a U-y and light me up.

I didn't know whether I was speeding, or had run a light, or whatever.

It turned out I was speeding. Nice enough fellow, told me to plead down to a parking ticket.


I was so scared at how stupid/dangerous I was, it took me a few hours to get over it.
(I mean the thought of hurting someone makes me want to curl up in a ball and melt into shit)

The last time I felt so disgusted with myself was a few years ago: I ran out of gas on the 290.
Yeah, I ran out of gas in my own city, and on a bridge nonetheless.

After that one I was grossed out how dumb I was. Had to do some Indiana Jones shit to get the trucked gassed up and out of there.
Not cool


SURVEY:

dude: link


People:
1: I found this site by looking for Buffalo Blogs. I joined because I was reading along with other peoples posts.

2: Nobody knows! I've introduced myself to people as my real name.
My pictures are real photos


3: 1 so far

4: not yet. But it will.

5: Not really yet

6: no

7: I live on Elmwood. I went to school in buffalo. I grew up near Geneseo NY

Equipment:
1: no. I'm pretty happy with my hardware/software with regards to dealing with this site.

2: Yes. But I didn't post. I will sometime though

3: a litle bit.

4: no. But if my landlord throws me out (he still hasn't talked to me about whether he wants to renew my lease or not, its up at the ned of the month) it really will

5: I like sharing my wierd life shit with other people. I think its a sharp dose of truth and humility when I tell other people about these things.

6: not really

7: no. never had another

8: no, knock on wood.

yesterday I had a 90 day new-hire review.

My boss rated me higher than I would have. I guess he's really happy with me.

he was going to put me in for a raise, but he said he could give me a bigger raise if he waited till the 6 month mark. (? I could use the money now, that would be nice if he's not bullshitting me)


We talked about the direction he wants me to go in the company, blah blah, etc.
I described the track I wanted to take, but I guess it was all kind of a half-lie, because I don't always know or care where I'm going in life.
Sometimes I do.



My homey from college is getting married today.
I'm going out there (roch), I didn't get a hotel room.

This will force me to find a girl to spend the night with. (optimist?)
Or maybe to sleep in a doorway (pessimist)

Have you ever, all of a sudden, realized that you are in love with someone?
And then have you ever been cerebrally pissed off at your feelings, but couldn't change anyways?



Naw me neither.


But I did realize this weekend that I really like (NO, NOT LOVE!) Buffalo.
Once I realized this, I recoiled, but I think the damage has allready been done.

Fuck you Buffalo, I think I love you.



I mean, Buffalo has its problems. We all are aware of this.

The city proper is beat. Its been decayed, decaying at least as long most of the people on (e:strip) have been alive. (Roughly)


Get out of your happy place and just drive down Main St or Broadway, William, etc, ad infinitum. A fucking shell. Shit-town.

Contrast that shell to the throbbing mass that is the hulk of the suburb mass in the Greater Area.

You can almost look at it like a star swelling before it goes SuperNova, or a heart, balooning as as the patient suffers from congestive heart failure.


Well, nothing as dramatic as that.
Similar difference though.



Plus many other items, but the decay is what consistantly gets me.



But I still like this place. I compare every other city I vist to Buffalo. Fuck, thats twisted.


The music, the food, the streets, even the crappy lake.
Maybe if i was more articulate, I could help explain it, but it seems like most of the people here allready understand what Good about Buffalo anyhow.


(I changed roots to and from work. Instead of taking the thru-way to Dunkirk each day, I've been taking Rt 5. Much better) (screw parentheses)

Taking Route 5 is fucking awesome. The city really looks like a sexy bitch from like Woodlawn.

But my favorite is the skyway. The SKYWAY!!! The way to the future!
Actually its a pretty obsolete future. Some decades ago, the skyway was the shit. Cars in the sky!

I get vertigo thinking about the difference in decades, from when the skyway was awesome, and where we are today.
But that view of the city, coming up over the skyway, gets me every time.
Continue that drive up along 190 by the water, and under the Bridge, and I'm in love.

Reluctantly in Love.




Fucker.

Lilho cut my hair the other day. I dunno, I think she did a good job, shes a good haircutter.

My dome is huge though so she had to charge me extra.


Work is stupid but fun lately. Today the capper on line4 lost timing and the accumulation conveyor on line2 was jumping and the high-speed fan on cooling tower 5 needs to be sent out to be rebuilt. We tried to change the pushout regulator on Line4 but it wasn't as easy as we thought it would be. So I worked on all that plus did research on the air-blower offer for Line1.

This is all so stupid. Why do people drink so much juice? Nobody thinks juice is cool and the money sucks and the commute is fucking awful.


But it still is fun to me because of the weirdness of it, and the challenge of doing something so different. I laugh every day there and its starting to get fun because I'm almost starting to get good at the job.

I really need something else, but if I know myself, I'll stick around there too long.

I told my boss I had to talk to him today (it was about something benign) but his face dropped and said he thought I was going to tell him I was leaving.
I wonder what the significance of that was.


Maybe if the just paid me more I would just be too fat and happy to care about all the drawbacks of the job.

This stuff:





is good hot sauce.


[Backstory: My folks go on vacations down in South Carolina, et all.
One year they bought back this really good sweeet hot sauce. I ate the bottle really fast before I knew what I was doing.

Then I lost the bottle, and forgot the name of the hot sauce. I've been asking them to get another bottle ever since.

This past trip they made, they came back with like 6 different bottles of H Sauce, trying to find that one sauce. We haven't found it yet, but this shit is daaanng good.]


I poured too much of this on my food (Wegman's 33¢ Mac/Cheese) and I tried to pour some milk down my throat to mitigate the death going on inside my esophagus.


Now as I look over at that carton of milk, theres an awful lot missing, and feel like puking.

But that afterglow is so worth it.


Jenks: check out the cassette deck in the background (file photo)

buy my carpet!


cheap!